ME: I wrote another poem

MN: dear lord not again

CN: it better involve death

AN: I'm sure it's really sweet

ME: * cough cough*

Funny

Is my face funny?

Are my clothes funny?

Is it funny that I'm small?

Is it funny that I can't fight back?

Is it funny that I hate you?

Is it funny that I want to hurt you?

Would your pain be funny?

Would your tears be funny?

Would your death be funny?

Well?

Go on, Laugh.

MN: you need help

CN: I liked it

AN: Da fuck is wrong with your mind?

ME: *kills MN and AN* not my best work...I was upset...don't make me upset...I don't like that

This chapter will suck...I'm trying to keep it as similar to the many a as possible...I can't do cannon

Chapter 68:

Natsu stood body flaming, fists clenched, and eyes furrowed. ''Stop Salamander! You can't get involved with him!'', Natsu ignored Simon and concentrated on the look the owl bastard was giving him. It read 'I know about you, we are the same. We kill for money,'' the look amused him. They were nothing alike, this freak killed the innocent while Natsu only killed criminals.

How dare he compare them, unforgivable!

''Come at me,'' (bro) ''Whoo Whoo, evil like you should not exist in this world,'' Natsu almost flinched. ''Time to die, whoo,''. The owl thing's jets propelled him at the dragon slayer at a speed which he could not be seen.

Natsu easily side-stepped him but did not account for the strange creature-man to grab his ankle and hoist him high in the air. 'If this is a fucking owl why doesn't it use its wings?' were his thoughts before he was dropped, prior to hitting the ground he flipped himself over to land lightly.

The small trip, although, caused slight nausea not helping his already poor condition. The owl guy

(The name hasn't been introduced to the characters so I can't really use it...sorry)

jetted down and aimed a kick at Natsu who easily blocked it while raisin an eyebrow at the others attire. Black bloody shorts and sneakers no shirt just some get packs, yet he was the one people called gay. ''Fire dragons, claw,'' in a moment of mild annoyance Natsu kicked his opponent in the face hard enough to make an instant kill.

Though stunned, the owl stayed standing ''Missile! Ho Ho hou!''.

(Again with the ho)

The jet packs detached from his back and sped towards Natsu who easily ducked them. What the dragon slayer didn't expect was for a hook to unload from the projectile and snag his scarf. He was pulled into the air nausea returning as the missile traveled quickly in a circle.

Happy face palmed, ''This is what happens when you don't take your opponent's seriously, Natsu,''. Attempting to keep down they few contents left in his stomach, Natsu fiddled lethargically with his muffler trying to unhook himself. ''I am well aware of your weakness! Whoo!'' owl man seemed proud of himself. Simon glanced back and forth between the spinning teen and freak ''He has motion sickness?'' ''Aye,''.

''...''

''Now that my prey is weak I can move in for the kill!'' the hook released Natsu and the nauseated boy fell to the ground. ''This is the essence of hunting!'' owl man ran towards the plummeting mage.

He opened his mouth widely in what could be considered a deranged smile and allowed the dragon slayer to fall in. ''What the, gah! Disgusting!'' Natsu thrashed ,still dizzy, as he was swallowed, ''What do you think you are doing?!'' Happy yelled fearfully. Simon watched in shock as the owl's stomach puffed out, ''I can digest the magic of those I have eaten,'' he informed them. A few tufts of pink hair decorated his feathered head as flames liked at his body.

''Whoo Whoo,''

And of course it just happened to be Gray who arrived at the scene. He glanced at Simon and the stricken Happy in confusion ''What are you doing? Your were supposed to go after Shou!'' he yelled. ''We got helped up,'' Simon replied weakly as birdie took that chance to look at the new arrival. ''Gray! Help! That guy swallowed Natsu!'', Gray stared at the owl ''That idiot will never live this down,'' he thought as plans of an epic rescue filled his mind.

''Ice make, lance!'' he attracted instantly, though the offense was countered by the opponent who delivered a weak version of "Fire dragons roar!''. Due to the unexpected attack, the raven didn't move as flames engulfed him. His ice melted and the heat seared him, ''Aaagh!'' the owl laughed at the pained screams. ''Ice is no match for fire! Whoo!''.

''Stupid bastard!'' Gray groaned in pain ''Useless!'' the owl's voice was becoming increasingly annoying ''If you are the Salamander's nakama you should know the sheer power of these!''.

Nakama?

Something snarled ''Not even close to,''

With a final grunt Gray froze the offending heat source creating a display of trapped embers. ''He froze the flames!'' Simon exclaimed in astonishment. Gray laughed and wiped some of his charred skin away, ''I've seen what happened to whomever gets caught in that bastards flames. You little fake, I should be dead right now,''.

Owl man raced forward ''Splendid ability! I shall capture you as well!''. The beak opened into that grotesque smile ounce again only for an arm to shoot from the throat grabbing Gray's face. The limb was slimy and dripping who knows what. Officially grossed out Gray had to let himself be used as a ledge age Natsu pulled himself from the engines esophagus.

Still using Gray he kicked the other hard in the face sending him flying into the wall. The pinkette landed with what sounded like a puddle splash. He walked over to the partially conscious owl thing and repeatedly punched him while muttering random curses.

''Disgusting freak swallowing me, like the fucker he is. Shitty owl man with freakish head,''.

Gray opted to wipe grossness from his face and hair, while the others watched on in shock. The owl man was left with a conclusion, broken ribs, dislocated jaw, and broken arm.

I know it sucked, I'm sorry...my brain has no food