Stef POV
I tried to pry the doors open again, this time on my own. I was unsuccessfully. Then I once again tried all the buttons on the panel. It was no use. None were working, so I just went back to sitting next to Callie on ground, who was sitting with her legs stretched out, hands in her lap.
Once I join her, she asks me the next games question "Rich and being all alone or not rich but with big family?"
"Not rich with big family" I reply quickly as it was a no brainier for me , but the next question she asks is not about the game anymore
"Can I ask you something else?" she turns to look at me
"Is this going to be another hypothetical question?" I ask back and bent my knees and place my hands over my knees
"No" she replies back after she gave it a thought
"Then shoot" I say back smiling to her, waiting for whatever question may come
"Do you watch Warehouse 13? It is on Sci-Fi channel." She looked all excited all of a sudden
"Never heard of it" her head hangs down immediately and her shoulder slumps down too and then she sights "Oh, well…I had to try." But then she looks back to me "Did my mom told you not to tell me?"
"No. I honestly have no idea that show even exist. And I have no idea what happens there. All I watch are some crime shows and comedies. Not a fan of science fiction." I said as I assumed that Sci-Fi channel meant it was a science fiction show.
"I could tell you!" she says back once again excited "It only has 4 seasons, it started it's 5th yesterday. Do you want me to tell you about it?"
I watched her closely for a while "Maybe later."
Her shoulders once more slumps down and the sparkle in her eyes is gone once more. I felt bad that I made her sad so I add "Do you watch Law and Order?"
"Which one? Mom has a box set of one of Law and Order series. I have watched that one, not all, just few seasons. Mostly when was sick"
"Well, there is only one on air now. It is the SVU"
"No" she shakes her head back "Mom does not want me to watch that." she replies now starting to pick her finger nails.
That was wired, I know Amy watches it herself, she records it. That much I know. Why would she not allow it Callie to watch it? But I don't ask back, I let it slide for now. I didn't want to poke my nose too much.
There is a long pause where both of us just stare at the wall in front of us. I was slowly starting to get real hot in here. I felt sweat beads on my forehead. One was now hanging on the tip of my nose. I wipe the sweat away from my nose with my hand and continue to stare at the wall in front of me.
After I felt another sweat drip down on my temple, I grabbed my end of the uniform shirt and pulled it out of my pants and then unbuttoned it and took it off, tossed it at the same corner where Callie's sweater and bag was. I was now sitting in my tight, short sleeved, black t-shirt
"How long do you think we will have air in here?" She asked me as she looked up to the ceiling.
"Elevators are not airtight, so we are good. There are air vents. We don't have to worry about suffocating, Callie." I reassure her
"Are you sure, because…I don't feel any air circulation. I am thinking 4…5 hours maybe and then we will slowly start to suffocate. Our chest will feel like being ripped apart slowly and lungs will be begging for air. It would be a pain filled death" Callie was starting to ramble really fast, she was barely stopping to breathe in. She just said what was on her mind
"I think you would suffer longer. My lungs would give out first and you would watch me die a slow, agonizing death right in front of your eyes and you couldn't do anything to help me, to keep me alive longer. You would have to tell my mom, if you survived, how I died in your arms and that my last words were –I didn't get the chocolate. Also if you wouldn't survive you would know exactly what will come upon you in few seconds, because you watched me suffocate first and die in your arms. It would be like predicting your own death, when, where, how – no one wants to know that!" She took a small pause and run her tongue over her lips and then continued
"I picture you as that person. You know, the one person, that doesn't want another person to die alone. You would hold my hand, even if I had irritated and annoyed the hell out of you, and you would be the last thing I would see before I take my last breath. And you would keep telling me soothing things over and over again till my eyes close-"
"Do you watch baseball?" I interrupt her thought and ramble about suffocation. I needed to get her mind of something like that and keep her as calm as possible.
"W-what?" she stutters out
"Baseball. USA national sport? There is a bat and a small ball and players try to score points by hitting the ball far, far away"
"N-no. Well I have watched few games with mom, but…no, not really" she shakes her head
"My dad, took me to my first game. Padres played with Dodgers. That day I achieved many firsts in my life. I was 7 and that was the first time I went to Los Angeles. It was also the first trip I took with my just my dad. It was Dodgers home game. It was oddly cold at that time. It turned out it was also the first time I saw snow" I chuckle at the memory. Callie, with interest ,is looking at me, wanting me to continue the story
"I looked up to the sky and asked my dad – daddy, why is the sky so dusty?" Callie laughed a little at that
"He laughed at me at first. Not a mean laugh. But I guess, it was one of those moments in parents' lives where the kid says something so precious and sweet and yet so wrong, you can't hold the laughter in. He was retelling that story at every family gathering, every Christmas, and to his co-workers for years" I smile at the memory of my dad
I turn to look at Callie who was now smiling at me "You thought snow was dust?"
"Yeah…born and raised San Diego." I point to myself "I had no idea snow even existed. I thought that the world will end or something. And that snow was only some sort of prop in movies, you know, to mess with our minds. Hollywood tricks, just like the big explosions. My dad, he also caught the game ball that day. Gave it to me. I still have it."
"No one has ever mentioned your dad before. Mariana only mentioned Lena's dad. Is he still alive? Your dad I mean" she asks me softly
"No" I shake my head and look to my lap "He died few months back. At the start of November."
"I'm…I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry…I didn't know" Callie said and looked down herself. Probably feeling really bad that she asked.
"It's okay." I say looking down to my lap "He had heart problems for a while. He died watching a football game in his home, in his chair."
She then asks cautiously "W-were you two close?"
That was a good question? Were we? He was my dad and I loved him. But we had our differences…about me. About my sexual orientation. He was definitely not okay with me being gay. But I just couldn't understand why, because my mom was okay with who I was. Why one parent can be supportive, but the other one couldn't?
She notices my hesitation "You don't have to answer."
"W-we…we…" I stuttered badly with my words. I rubbed my fingertips over my forehead and looked to the girl sitting next to me "He was a man of God" I explain
"Oh" I see Callie mouth it, not voicing it.
"I loved him, he loved me. But me being gay was…he couldn't look pass it. My dad, he thought, it was a choice, a lifestyle that I chose - to hurt him, to embarrass him. He wasn't at my wedding. That's how close we were. He couldn't come to his own daughter's wedding because he couldn't be 100% behind it"
There was a moment of silence when we both just sat quietly, thinking to ourselves.
"Well if it makes you feel any better" she started off quietly, I glance to her "my mom wasn't at your wedding either" she says to me, then a small smile starts to show on her lips "but you two are still close"
"Your mom" I put hand on her head and ruffle her hair "wasn't there, because someone decided that her appendicitis should get infected on the wedding day. That's different."
Her hand quickly travel up to her hair "Don't mess it up!" she says to me and playfully pushes my hand away from her hair "I combed it out this morning!"
"This-" I pick up some of her locks "-is combed out? You are joking, right? This is a mess, look how much tangles and knots there are!" I say jokingly as my fingers gets stuck in one of the knot
"That is called my HAIR!" she leans a bit further away from me and chuckles back at me, now twirling her hair in her hand.
Callie POV
"Can I ask you something else?" another thought popped in my mind after I had put all my hair to one side of my neck.
"Okay!" Stef turned to me holding her hand out, stopping me and then continued "Let's get one thing clear!" Now I was worried that I already reached the limit of questions allowed to ask.
"You-" she presses her right index finger to my chest gently "-do not have to ask me all the time, if you can ask me something. Because theoretically speaking, you already had asked me something before I even allowed you to ask me something. You get what I am saying?"
I got kind of confused right after she said the theoretical part. The clueless look on my face was enough for Stef to realize I was lost in her words "You don't have to ask me all the time whether or not it is okay. You can simply ask. Okay?"
I once again not back. Stef turns back to the wall, legs once again bent up, she places hands over her knees "So, what did you want to ask me?"
"Um…" I needed a second to gather my thoughts back "Well, I was wondering…like…how long…it took Jude to call you both….mom?" the further I got to the end of the sentence the quieter and slower I asked it.
"Well…" She stretched out her legs as she was thinking about it "He called Lena mama first. It was few days before the adoption"
I wanted to ask what situation it was, but Stef continued on herself. I didn't have to stutter it out
"I had just come home from work. I went up to check on the kids, the 3 oldest kids were doing homework, so I let them be. I changed and I walked down to look for Jude. I found Lena in kitchen and saw through the window ,that Jude was all alone in the backyard. Kicking his ball at the fence. And I asked Lena why he is all alone outside. Lena told me he wanted to play all alone. He had said that he didn't want anyone. But to me, he just looked sad and lonely. I was ready to walk out to the backyard to play with him, but he had grabbed his ball and walked inside the kitchen. Holding his ball in front of him. Jude walked straight up to Lena, who was cutting some carrots for the dinner at the table, pulled on her jeans softly, looked up to her. Then he just asked – mama, will you play with me?"
Stef had this big smile on her lips. I also saw tears in her eyes.
"Did she?" I ask back curious
"Of course she did. She left the dinner making for me and went out to play the ball with him. Not hesitating for a second" Stef scratches her brows with her left, I think she was trying to hold the tears in. She was avoiding my look, like I would usually do.
"What about you? When did he call you mom?"
"That was just few days after the adoption. It was around 8. Lena was having a shower and I was just in my bed, reading a magazine. There was this small knock on the doors. I automatically knew it was Jude, he has a very specific way of knocking" She laughs lightly and looks to me for a brief moment.
Then she looks back up front of her, runs her tongue over her lips and continues "He walked in the next second, holding his favorite book in his hand-"
"Hansel and Gretel?" I ask quickly
"Yeah" she looks to me, a smile all over her face. She looked surprised that I knew that
"It was his favorite, mom had to read that book to him every night. He wouldn't go to bed without mom reading it to him." I quickly explain it to Stef, who had a big smile on her face now
"So, like I said, he walked in with his book. He was holding it tightly to his chest, with both of his hands. He stood by the side of the bed, looking at me with his big brown eyes and asked me – mom, can you read it for me?"
And once again, Stef had tears in her eyes. Stef for me, always seemed like the tough one. The one who would just hold it together for her family, no matter what. The one person, that would not break down crying in front of other people.
But this just made me look to Stef in whole different light. I already knew that she loved Jude. But now I knew, just how much she cares about him. If she had tears in her eyes because of a memory…it says a lot about her. I couldn't be happier that Jude is with someone like her.
This time, she lost the thought cop act, as one single tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with her palm. Then looked to me and asked "What about you and Amy. When did you first call her mom?"
"Um, well, I couldn't say it as fast as Jude" I said and scratched my temple with my left
Flashback
2012 August 10th
I was sitting on the couch in the living room. I had my warmest socks on. My sweats, I had two shirts on and Amy's big hoodie, the hood was over my head. My legs were pulled up on the couch. One of the blankets was around my legs. Other was wrapped around my shoulders. Season 2 of Law and Order was in and it was ready to play, it was just waiting Amy to come back
My nose was dripping, I had a cough, I had temperature and it was all because of Amy. Yesterday we went for a bike ride. Sadly, on our way back there was a huge thunder storm and we both got back, wet to bone, freezing.
I heard her footsteps from the kitchen and called out even before I saw her enter the living room
"I HATE YOU!" I called out not meaning it all. Amy carefully and slowly shuffle in the living room, her slippers on. She was carrying two hot cups of tea in her hands, watching them closely so she doesn't spill them. I could already smell the honey she has added to the tea. It smelled delicious.
"No, you don't!" she says back very convincing as she was almost by the couch. She was in her sweats, end of the sweats were tucked in her socks. She had her light grey SDPD sweater on
"You love me" she adds confidently back and places the two cups of tea on the coffee table. She starts to sniff heavily, once she does get her hands free, and then she sneezes few times. She reaches for the thermometer on the coffee table and hands it to me
I whine back "I checked my temperature few minutes ago!" and sniff in few times as I felt my nose running again
"It was 4 hours ago!" she says and holds it out for me "You do it. I am warm and I don't want to move my hands and get cold air in my cocoon!" I say back sounding like a little kid.
She takes a step closer to the couch and leans to me. She places the thermometer in my ear and soon it beeps.
"Well?" I ask her, hoping it has dropped
"Nop. Still very much sick!" she says and places it back on the table, then she reaches for the pill table in her pocket. She pops two out and hands me the water that was just by the couch "Take these!"
As I do, she checks her own temperature. And after that she takes two pills herself. Finally she sits down next to me and then looks around.
"Where did you hide my blanket?" she looks around the couch.
"I don't know what you are talking about. Why do you always think I did something?"
"Who else?" she says laughing lightly still looking around the room "Where did you put it?! I am cold, I need my blanket Callie!"
"I don't anything about your blanket!" I said keeping my face straight. The blanket around my legs was her blanket. I had taken it once she had left for kitchen to make the tea for both of us.
"You little sneaky-"she saw the blanket finally and pulled on it. I was holding tightly to it "You can't hurt a sick KID!" I call out right before she lunges at me
But she doesn't hit or hurt me in any way. She starts to tickle me, without any mercy. I was laughing furiously as she just kept on going. She had me pinned down, I couldn't get out of her tickles. I was almost out of my breath I was laughing so hard, my face red
"Stop!" I called out between my laughs "Stop…mercy…please…mercy!"
"No mercy for blanket thief's!" Amy said continuing to tickle me
"Stop…Mom…please" I laughed out
We both suddenly froze. She got off me and sat next to me. I sat up too. Now we both were staring at the TV. There was silence.
I don't know how I felt about it. I have been referring to her as mom and thinking about her as my mom, in my own mind, for months now. I was just too scared to say it out loud. I thought by saying it I would somehow betray my birth mom.
"Callie you don't have to—"she started saying, breaking the awkward silence we were both in "-If you don't feel like it, you don't have to call me mom. It's okay. You don't have to call me that if you are not ready. There is no rush and I wouldn't love you any less if you would never call me mom"
"No…" I reply not sure what I meant by that
"No?" Amy asks back confused
"I mean…I…you are, right? I mean, you are my…mom" I stutter out, looking at her, waiting for her to react to it
"Yes" She replies back quietly
"I have thought of you as my mom for quite some time now. I was just…I was…"
"Scarred?" She asks me reading me like an open book. I nod back.
"Callie, I want you to know one thing" She said looking to me. She took my left hand in hers "I don't ever want to replace your mom. I know, that it is not possible. I could never do that. And I don't want to take her place, Colleen is and always be your mom. I am just—"
"Your my mom too" I finish the sentence for her. She bites on her lower lip, tears are in her eyes "I love you, mom" I add quietly still little bit afraid to say it out loud. It was weird saying it out loud
"I love you too, munchkin" she pulls me in a side hug and once she pulls out of the hug she takes the blanket away from me but places one side of it over her legs, the other side she places over my legs.
"Now, there are ground rules" she adds seriously "I don't accept you calling me – MOTHER. That sounds mean and cold and I don't like that."
"A-Are you serious?" I ask moving closer to mom's side
"No…well-" she shakes her head but then she changes her answer "-Yes" she says seriously and then looks to me. But she couldn't hide her smile for log. Second later she was smiling at me, placed a kiss on my temple and puts her hand around my shoulder.
"Now, daughter of my, let's start the movie, shall we!"
"Daughter of my…seriously?" I chuckle back
"Now you kind of know how it feels to be called so formal. It sounds distant and cold, doesn't it?"
"It kind of does" I say taking the remote that was placed under the pillow on my side of the couch
End of Flashback
Stef POV
"Callie, you know there is no time limit, no competition" I reassure her "That was a cute and sweet story" I say back once Callie was done telling her story. She blushes lightly and avoids my look for a second. I place my hand on her shoulder and squeeze it softly.
"Okay" I stand up ready to try get out of here once more "Come on…" I hold my hand out to help her up
"Oh, were are we going?" she asks all fake excited taking my hand, grinning at me as there was really nowhere to go.
I pull her up. I point my finger up to the hatch "Up" I grin to her, watching how she is going to react
"You will get on my shoulders, I will hold you up, you will open the hatch, pull yourself up there, then help me pull myself up and we will use the stairs that are in the elevator shaft to get out of here"
"Oh…that's it?" she asks sarcastically "How about I make tea while I do that?"
"I wouldn't mind" I grin back and bend in my knees, holding my palms up to my shoulder, to help her get up on my shoulders
"Oh...wow, you were not joking" she says back but I don't hear her moving
"You want to get out of here or not?" I stand back up and turn to her
"I do but I also would like to be alive when I do" she says back crossing her arms on her chest
"You will be fine. I can hold you up, I work out" I say and flex my arm muscles "Check out my muscles" I encourage her to check my muscles as I keep my muscles taut. She slowly with her left reaches for my arm muscle
She makes a small head not to one side "Not bad. Big guns" she squeezes my muscle few times "What kind of workout do you do?"
"Pull ups are the best" I brag.
She takes her hand back "Really, how many can you do?"
"More than Jesus" she laughs at that "Show me yours" I nod to her arm
"I don't work out" she says shyly
"You do gym right? Come on!" I poke her upper left arm softly "You did swing that baseball at the car, right?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" she asks confused back
"Well, that takes strength. If you really did smash the front windshield, you have some guns on you. It is not as easy as people think it is. Those windshields are tough"
"The magic in that-" she says and now pretends she has a bat in her hands. Her hands are both bent and held up, she takes a stand with her legs "-is to swing with all of your body…from your feet to your hands" she says and takes an imaginary swing with a bat.
Then she stands straight up "And for the windshield - I jumped up on the hood of the car. It would be almost impossible to do from ground level. Had to put my back into that. Took me many hits" she explains and takes another stand with pretend baseball bat in her hands.
Callie goes thought the motion of bat swinging few more time. Then mouthing to herself "Home run" as she pretends that she has hit the ball far away, holding her hand over her eyebrows, watching where the imaginary ball travels. I can't help but laugh at that.
"Okay, okay Tony Gwynn" I had to stop her imaginary home run "Who?" she asks back
"Tony Gwynn…one of the best hitters in Padres" I say back as I think it is obvious, well known facts about the Padres team
"Who?" she asks again with a clueless face
"If this is you saying that I am old…I'm going to smack you" I say in a fake threatening way
Callie grins back at me "I assume, he is no longer playing then?" she asks back
"Yes. He was big in 1987, long before you came around" I say back and then take the stand under the hatch, holding my palms up like I did before
"Come on…climb on" I get ready, bending a more in my knees. She places her left hand in my palm and after few second she is sitting on my shoulders. The hardest part was to stand up with her on my shoulder
"You okay?" she asks me once I was standing straight up with her sitting on my shoulders. I felt the pressure building up from holding another person on my shoulders. My back will most definitely regret this a day later
"Yeah" I get out "Try to get the hatch open"
I say but she quickly says "Walk a bit to left" I take a small step to my left
"Good?" I check back with her
"Yeah" she answers as I hear her rattle the hatch
After a moment she asks me again "You sure you okay? It kind of feels like you are getting weak in your knees there..." she snickers to herself as she continues rattle the lock on the hatch
"I'm good. Just hurry up. I thought you would be bit lighter" I admit. The rattling sound stops and I believe she did just now cross her arms on her chest
"Are you saying I am FAT?" she snapped back with a very emotional strain in her voice. It almost sounded like her voice cracked up at the end.
What did I just do?