AN: I think a couple of things need to be adressed before I go on. You guys have taken the time to read my story and it's only fair that I explain my thought process where it isn't clear, so here goes;

There's a reason, and a really big one as far as this story is concerned as to why I'm yet to and probably will not specify a ship. If this was mainly a Copdoc story, trust me I would already have said so.

Lauren, Bo and Tamsin, as I'm trying to depict them, are human and growing. So far we've only seen Tamsin's side of things, mainly because I find it really easy to write her, but all the characters will be explored, I promise.

I notice that people think Bo is selfish and self absorbed, which she is, but there's a reason for that. I'm sure that when you read Bo's point of view you will see this.

I have a very clear path as to where I want to lead this story. If you're going to come on the journey with me, Thank you, so much. If you feel like I'm a little too confusing for you,Thanks for giving it a chance anyway.

Thank you all for the support, you're all sorts of amazing.

Marcelle.

"You can't." A deaf person would have heard the incredulity in Lauren's tone.

Tamsin wanted to bash her head in something hard. She was making a mess of things left right and center and she just did not know how to stop.

"I just-"

"-kissed me back, Tamsin. I kissed you and you kissed me back. Right after you told me you liked me. So I don't-" she placed her palm on her forehead, Tamsin didn't think she had ever seen her so confused before, "did I do it wrong? Is that it? Because-"

"You didn't." Tamsin cut in. She couldn't let Lauren think this was her fault in any way. "You didn't do it wrong." She said softly.

'You did it amazingingly, you're an amazing kisser' Went unsaid.

"Then what's the problem?" She sounded like a mixture of confusion and hurt and it broke Tamsin's heart.

Bo, my friend Bo. The first person in a really long time to take me as I am, no judgments passed. The person who's in love with you, the person who's trusting me not to do anything with you. She wanted to say.

"I just can't." She said instead.

"I just can't is not an answer Tamsin, at least not one I'm willing to take." Lauren sounded angry.

Perfect, shy, polite, always saying the exact right thing Lauren sounded angry. Tamsin didn't think she could hate herself any more than she did at that moment.

"I don't-" she felt bile rising in her throat, God she would need so much alcohol after this, "I don't like you like that."

Lauren's eyes narrowed, Tamsin could practically see her rolling the words in her mind. Processing their every possible meaning. And the more time she took, the sicker Tamsin felt.

"Oh." She said finally. Her brown eyes more blank than Tamsin had ever seen them and suddenly, she wanted to take the words back.

"Lauren I-"

"We'll revise angles tomorrow," she sounded detached, lost, vastly uncomfortable where she was, like a doctor who longed to be someone else.

"Laure-"

"Try not to be late."

...

"Not this again." Nadia's voice sounded tired.

Tamsin didn't give a shit. She drowned some more of the drink she'd been having since she got to work, she hadn't even bothered to check it's name. She had been on a mission to forget.

Forget the look in Lauren's eyes when she opened the door and wordlessly begged her to leave.

Forget the fact that she had messed up what without a doubt the best thing she had going for her in her whole damn life.

She didn't care what helped her forget, she might have been drinking surgical spirit for all she knew, just as long as it did the trick.

"Not now, Nadia." She wiped her lips with the back of her hand and winced.

Seriously, what the fuck was she drinking?

She raised the bottle to eye level, the words looked like some sort of dancing ants, it was making her dizzy just looking at them.

She shrugged and brought the bottle to her lips, it's not like she cared what it was anyway. Alcohol was alcohol.

"This is getting out of hand, Tamsin." She heard Nadia say. Or maybe she said "This is getting really hard, Tamsin." She wasn't completely sure.

"So?" Out of hand, really hard; she honestly didn't give a fuck.

Nadia sighed, she'd been around enough drunk people to know when there was no getting through to one, "I'm going to call Bo to come get you."

She said, her voice a mixture of exhaustion and pity.

Tamsin vomited.

...

"God," Bo dumped her on the bed, "you reek something awful."

Tamsin scoffed. Did she look like she cared about that? Really.

"She's never going to talk to me again."

"What?" Bo asked as she struggled to cover her in the sheets that she absolutely loathed. They insisted on having a certain smell no matter how many times she washed them.

It reminded her of her mother.

Tamsin pushed them away. Bo covered her again. Tamsin threw them on the floor.

"Tamsin, stop that."

"Don't talk to me." She curled herself into a ball, her back to Bo.

"What the fuck is your problem. I don't recall advicing you to go get shit faced."

She sounded angry. Tamsin just couldn't bring herself to care. Or look at her without feeling like vomiting again. Whether from guilt or something else that she'd been holding against the brunette for sometime now; she wasn't sure.

All she was sure of was that her emotions had taken all they could take for the night.

She needed a break.

"Just leave Bo. I don't want you here."

"Whatever."

A few seconds later she heard the door close.

...

When she woke up the next morning, she made a decision. Right after she drunk some black ice because the best cure for a hangover is having another drink.

Life lessons from Danielle Sarksten.

She had decided that one; she was going to get rid of Mrs Perkins stupid cat. The bloody thing had refused to give birth or stop screeching every damn morning. She wasn't going to kill it, that would be just wrong, but maybe she could drive it to the next town and leave it there. Or give it to Bo's cousin, Vex, he seemed like the type to like annoying pregnant cats.

Two, she had made the right decision yesterday. No, not the decision to drink whatever it was that she drunk, that had been a horrible decision.

She had made the right decision in regards to Lauren.

Bo clearly felt something extremely strong for her, and evidently had been feeling it for a while. It wasn't fair for Tamsin to hurt her by interfering with that.

Third, Bo did not need to know that she and Lauren had kissed. That Lauren was the most amazing kisser in the whole entire universe and beyond. That Tamsin would give anything to go back to that moment, that moment when Lauren Lewis in all her etheral perfection had deemed Tamsin Sarksten, fucked up as she was, worthy of her kisses.

Bo certainly did not need to know that.

Fourth, and most important, she had decided, or realized rather, that she did not deserve Lauren Lewis. She did not think there are a great many people on earth worthy enough of Lauren. But amongst the unworthy ones, she was top of the line.

Lauren was smart and charming and really nice and sweet in a way that Tamsin knew would get her hurt one day. And she was so heart breakingly beautiful that sometimes, in all her confusion, it hurt Tamsin's heart to look at her.

Lastly, she was going to tell Lauren about Bo wanting to speak to her. It was the least she could do and maybe it would help take away this stupid feeling she felt every time she saw the brunette.

Yes, Tamsin Sarksten, with the help of Smirnoff ice, had made decisions. and if you ask her, all of them were pretty good ones.

...

Good decisions, as it turns out, can be really fucking hard too.

It was killing her, slowly, painfully, with every blank look; it was killing her that Lauren Lewis had completely shut her out and there was nothing she could do about it.

She had known, immidiately she'd seen her on the other side of the door, she had known.

It was in the greeting. In the way she didn't wait for her before walking to their study area. But mostly, it was in te way she did not smile at her.

She didn't want to come. She'd presumed things would be wierd and maybe Lauren needed some space after the evening from hell. But immidiately her alarm went off, she'd remembered Lauren telling her not to be late and she found herself in the bathroom, getting ready. Had she not been worrying over how everything will go, it would have annoyed her a little the power Lauren has over her.

"Okay, we're going to-"

"Please don't do this." Apparently,Tamsin's mouth and brain had no relationship whatsoever.

Lauren sighed, she sounded eternally tired, "Tamsin."

"Please." It was the most pleading please she had ever said in her life which was saying something because sometimes her pleas had come when she was within an inch of her life.

Lauren softened, "I just need some time. Yesterday was...confusing and embarassing and,painful for me. It's just going to take some time before for me to get over it. But I will, it's not your fault you don't like me like that."

"I really do like you Lauren. Being with you is...it's the best part of my day." She didn't know why she said that, she just didn't want to see the hurt in Luren's eyes anymore.

"You just don't like me that way. I know."

"But Bo does." It came out sofltly and completely from nowhere, even Tamsin didn't know she was going to say it until it was out there.

She shoud probably reduce her alcohol intake. It was clearly messing up her brain.

"Sorry?"

Well she had started it, might as well finish,"Bo, she still likes you and...and she was hoping maybe you'd give her a chance to explain herself. That you'd go to a party she's having this weekend?"

God was she thankful she had not eaten anything today.

From the minute he had seen her, Daniel Dennis knew that his daughter was going to bring great things his way.

She had been so tiny and so perfect and so, so beautiful. Just like her mother.

And as he held her and rocked her gently, watching fondly as she suckled on her tiny fist, he knew she woud be his greatest investment.

And he had been right. Four years, she's been dating the Thornwood boy for four years and it was pretty much a sure thing now that they were going to get married someday.

Everyone in town knew it.

Everyone in town also knew that the second that happened, Daniel Dennis would be the most powerful man in town. Most of the business in town that were not owned by either the Dennis-McCorrigan family was owned by the Thornwoods. A marriage between Bo and Dyson would merge them. Make them even stronger than they already were.

It honestly was the perfect arrangment.

One that Bo Dennis really hated.

"Dyson, stop," she said turning her head away. He always insisted on keeping his stupid face hair and it got on her nerves when they made contact with her skin.

"Why?" he kept kissing at her neck.

"Because," she pushed him away and sat up, already scanning the room for her top, "I need to go check on Tamsin. She wasn't feeling so good yesterday and she skipped school today. I'm worried about her."

Dyson sighed. He didn't like Tamsin much. Mostly because the blond did not make it a secret that she thought little of him.

"I don't get why you're frinds with her. She's a bitch."

She found her top and slipped it on, hoping it had no creases on it, her mother would throw a fit if she looked anything other than perfect at any time of the day.

"I don't tell you who to be friends with, Dyson. It would be really nice if you extended the same courtersy."

She sounded harsh, Dyson visibly retracred,"Fine,but we're still going away for the weekend, right?"

"Of course." She gave him a peck on the lips, adjusted her clothes accordingly and left.

...

She didn't go to Tamsin's, she hadn't been planning on it even when she told Dyson that that's where she was going.

Tamsin had thrown her out of her house after Bo had taken her drunk ass from the bar and talked her grandfather out of giving her a suspension. If she wanted to talk, she had Bo's number.

Besides, she had other important places to be.

"Do we have to come here every week?" Bo's voice was whinny as she walked behind the blond, heading towards the old town park that no one went to anymore.

"Yes Bo," Lauren hurried on, her blond hair being swept by the wind, making Bo smile for some reason, "You know I need this for my research."

Now Bo's smile was full blown, her best friend was too cute sometimes.

"That word always sounds so different when you say it."

Lauren smiled, "You think everything sounds different when I say it."

"Because everything does sound different when you say it. You make odinary words sound-" she bit her lip in thought for a second then it came to her, "refined."

Lauren laughed, her cheeks turning a shade of pink that made Bo feel proud at being the cause of.

"Come on, we have plants to uproot." She took Bo's hand and Bo let herself be led.

Her fingernails were going to be so dirty and her mom will be extremley pissed but Lauren Lewis and her refined way of saying ordinary things was holding her hand.

Bo found she didn't care for much else.

Now she sat on a bench facing the park, it had a direct view to where Lauren still came to pick her reaserch plants. Soon, Lauren was going to appear. Her curious eyes taking in everything around her before she decides what to take back home.

And Bo was going to sit and watch her from afar, wishing she had the courage to just go and say what she desperately wanted to say. What she had wanted to say all those times she had called Lauren late at night and ended up just listening to the other girl breath into the phone, waiting for her to grow a back bone until she got tired and hanged up.

She wanted to say it. With all her heart she wanted to say,I'm sorry, I love you, please please give me another chance,please.

But she couldn't, not until Lauren herself gave her a chance to.

Her phone vibrated, she had a new text message.

Tamsin.

"Start planning that party. She's agreed to come."

Her heart literally stopped beating for a second.