Pea cleaned his nails, seemingly deep in thought. "Hey remember a couple of chapters ago where we considered a rebellion?" He asked his team.
Aleisha and Persuliosianio looked up from the footage of the twins and Lim leaving the maze. "Hm?"
"Well…" Pea looked up at them and paused for dramatic effect. "I say forget it."
Persuliosianio and Aleisha erupted into a chorus of agreement.
"I like my job." Persuilosianio said.
"I like being alive." Aleisha said.
"Yeah and if we did lead a rebellion, this plot would be exactly the same as the 74th and 75th Hunger Games." Pea finished.
"Yer right!" Persuliosianio said. "And the writers can't afford to be sued over copyright material."
"Wait a minute," thought Aleisha. "Can't we be sued for using the term 'Hunger Games' then? Isn't that like, trademarked?"
The two men collectively gasped. "Why don't we call it the Starving Games?"
"That's also a movie…" Aleisha geekily informed.
"That's dumb," grumbled Pea.
The three leant back in their chairs, clutching glasses of wine that suddenly appeared in their hands. Pea suddenly jerked up, spilling wine on himself.
"OMG" he cried, "How did I never see this? Persuliosianio's nickname can be Percy! Then the writer's don't have to type out his name every time!"
There was silence as the universe considered. "No." It said finally. "Persuliosianio is an awesome name and you must do it justice."
"Fine." Huffed Pea. "I spilt wine on myself for nothing."
Suddenly a voice came from the television.
"You know you still have that thing on your face right." Morris awkwardly pointed out to Lim on the screen. The monobrow was still glued to his forehead.
Pea screamed at the same time at Lim and spilt wine over himself again.
Lim's hands flew to his forehead.
"NOOOOO I FORGOT ABOUT THIS THING!" He screeched so hard that his throat went raw.
"So did the audience." Boris said as she warily eyed the thing. She didn't want to get too close to it in case it decided to make babies on her face.
"Wait a minute…" Lim pulled the toothbrush out of his back pocket. "I can't believe I still have this."
Suddenly the tributes heard a whistling noise. They looked up and saw a parachute floating down towards them. Inside the capsule was a note.
MY BELOVED LOCKS
I am deeply ashamed of my actions in the last few chapters. Alas, I must admit that as of late, my thoughts were occupied with other things, as the author forgot about your existence and declined to continue writing you into the story. I profess my sincerest apologies. If it be the act that kills me, I shall find a way to reunite us. We will live as we once did, in our full glory.
Remember, we will always find a way back to each other.
R. S. Pea
Lim read the note aloud to the others. "Jeez that sounded like a love letter." He said uncomfortably.
But Boris was distracted by another thing. "R. S. Pea? Does that mean Pea is his last name? WHAT DOES R. S. STAND FOR?"
Morris was busy trying not to puke. "That letter…. was the most amount of sentences he's ever said that flow and make sense. AND IT WAS WRITTEN TO A MONOBROW."
Lim frowned thoughtfully, the brow folding in half. "Wait a minute," he said. "We can use this to our advantage."
"How?" Boris and Morris both said. ("JINX!")
Lim smiled slyly and whispered. "We can hold the eyebrow hostage to blackmail Pea and win the games."
He quickly ran away before Pea could send another message of outrage and indignation.
"What did he say?" Boris asked her twin before turning to the running form of Lim. "SPEAK UP YOU MORON, DON'T JUST ASSUME WE CAN HEAR WHAT YOU SAY JUST BECAUSE THIS IS A STORY WHERE THE WORDS ARE WRITTEN FOR THE READER'S BENEFIT."
Lim continued retreating and the twins decided to just follow him.
Night soon fell, and the three tributes found shelter beneath a large section of rock jutting out to create an overhang type thing. They turned to the sky as the national anthem played to see whom of their comrades had fallen that day. The first image had a shock of purple hair.
"FLOYD?!" Lim shrieked. "How did that happen?"
The twins shrugged. "At least she's out of the way I guess…" they said quietly and hesitantly.
Several other faces came and went.
"I wonder how many are left now?" Boris asked. Unfortunately nobody had bothered to keep count so they had no idea.
"That's actually so stupid of us." Lim said. "How will we know when it's just us three left?"
"WHEN THE GAMEMAKERS MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT LIKE THIS!" A booming and omnipresent voice suddenly filled the arena. "ATTENTION ALL TRIBUTES, ALL VIEWERS, ALL PETS, ALL PEASANTS, ALL CORPSES, WE HAVE REACHED THE FINAL 2-" "OI!" "Er three - TRIBUTES, WHO'RE, AGAINST ALL ODDS, THE TRIBUTES REAPED FROM DISTRICT 9."
The tributes were silent for a few moments.
"Wooowwww," Boris said. "I can't believe we got this far in the games without killing anybody."
"You killed me," Lim muttered.
"Doesn't count."
"I'm tired." Morris interrupted. "Can we decide what to do in the morning."
The other two tributes agreed and they all lay down under the overhang to sleep.
Morris jerked awake when she felt something on her face. She couldn't breathe. Her first thought was that Lim had betrayed her and was trying to suffocate her. She thrashed around and the thing on her face jumped off. Morris opened her eyes.
"Mr Cat?!" she yelled, spitting out fur and blinking it from her eyes. Lim and Boris snapped awake too. Mr Cat's circular eyes reflected the moonlight and seemed to glow. He opened his mouth to speak.
"WaIT a MinUTE," Boris got in first, jabbing a finger into the feline's chest. "You lead us to the cactus on purpose! You wanted us to kill each other!"
Mr Cat shook his head. "That's not true."
"Bull!" Lim cried. "The fish told us that you lead us there on purpose! That you knew each other!"
"That much is true, but the rest of your assumptions are just that - assumptions."
"They tried to kill me!" Lim pointed at a sheepish Boris and Morris. "They did kill me!"
"Yeah and we got out but then cause his cannon didn't sound he came back to life." Morris added.
Mr Cat went dead silent and gave them a long look.
"But we're all traumatised now-" Boris continued to rant, oblivious of Mr Cat's mannerisms.
"Wait." Mr Cat said. "You mean… you mean you didn't kill the fish?"
It was the tributes' turns to be silent. "What do you mean?"
Mr Cat pinched the bridge of his nose with his tail. "You were suPPOSED TO KILL THE FISH THAT'S HOW YOU GET OUT."
Lim was furious. He turned to the twins. "I TOLD YOU IDIOTS TO TRY THAT!"
The twins were speechless.
Lim turned to Mr Cat. "Explain."
Mr Cat sighed and launched into Tragic Backstory™:
"When I was a kitten I was adopted by a Cat Lady. She cared for me, fed me, petted me, raised me, loved-"
"Just get on with it," Lim waved his hand. "You're a cat, we don't care about your backstory."
Mr Cat glared at him. "Anyway, I lived with her for a while and she had many cats. But I was her favourite by far. I earned my way to the top of the cat hierarchy through many years. The other cats all liked and respected me.
"Then one day," Mr Cat hurried on when he received a glare from Lim. "She did something that changed all our lives. She bought a goldfish."
"Your owner was GRANNIE HAGKINS?" Morris screeched. Mr Cat ignored her.
"The other cats initially showed fascination with the fish, but I ordered them not to touch it. I knew it must mean a lot to my human, and I didn't want to see her upset.
"But that turned out being a mistake. The fish wasn't an ordinary fish. It… truth be told, I still don't know what it is. But it had an effect on my human. She started acting differently. She stopped taking in cats she found on the streets. She even started kicking out some of her cats - the old, the sick, the pregnant. I watched all of this happen. And I watched the fish throughout it. I would have killed it then if I had known.
"Eventually she got up and moved house. She came here. She left every single cat behind, except me. The only things she took with her, in fact, were me and the goldfish. She stopped letting me sleep on the bed and let the fish take my place instead. One night, I went into her room to try to reason with her. I saw something in there." Mr Cat's eyes shadowed over.
"The room was strangely lit, as if with a blue glow. I realised that the light was coming from its tank. My human was staring into the fishtank, and the fish was staring right back at her, unmoving. Suddenly I heard a voice. It was the voice of my human, but the fish was… speaking.
"'I need to get rid of that last wretched cat.' The fish said. My human nodded emptily. 'That last cat…' I realised that the fish had been controlling her this whole time. It was somehow feeding off her, using her voice to speak by some sort of sorcery. I took a step back.
"The fish whipped its head around to look at me, and so did my human. I cowered. She turned and started taking long strides towards me. 'That last cat.' She chanted, looking straight ahead. I met the fish's eyes and it grinned."
Mr Cat shuddered. "I ran. I left and I never went back. Eventually, hungry and weak and sick, I found myself in district 9."
"That's when we found you." Boris said quietly.
Mr Cat nodded. "But I had to save my human from that fish. I spent months regaining my strength, and then many more coming up with a plan. She would never let me near that fish to kill it, but maybe there was another way.
"When you were reaped for the games, I was upset. I came to visit you, but because of my past I was unable to express my emotions and say a proper goodbye. Then I heard that the games were being held here, where my human lived. So I came and I found you. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. But then, using my special cat abilities, I heard that the mind controlling fish was making my human host this sort of 'game'. And, through my deductive reasoning, I realised that to beat the game the player must kill the fish. I knew they wouldn't let me inside, so I needed someone to play the game and kill the fish. I needed someone to save my human. I needed… you."
"Couldn't you have just told us to kill the fish?"
"That fish has powers. It knew I lead you there. I couldn't risk telling you, or it would know and just have you killed anyway. I thought you'd be smart enough to figure it out."
The tributes remained silent. Boris had almost interrupted Mr Cat to tell him to hurry up, but she felt like he really needed this.
"Sorry we failed, Mr Cat." Morris said gently.
Mr Cat shrugged. "It was worth a shot."
Suddenly the mood changed as suddenly as a girl on her time of month. "Anyway, have you heard the news?" Mr Cat said.
"What news?" Lim asked.
"Have you been living under a rock?!" Mr Cat asked. Then he looked up at the overhanging rock. "Oh, you have."
"What's the news?" Boris asked impatiently. She knew Mr Cat didn't want to talk about his past anymore and was trying to act like his normal, patronizing, condescending self. But she felt that the feline's relationship with the three tributes had changed. They were all somehow closer.
"People in District 9 have started a petition to recognise Morris as an individual. It seems they related to her experience of being completely ignored by the Capitol."
Morris opened her mouth to squeal "YES!" but she was drowned out on TV screens across the country by a loud BEEEEEEEP. "Oh come on," Morris snorted.
"That's it?" Lim asked., "That's the news?"
Morris turned to him with her hands on her hips. "What, that isn't good enough for you, Lim?"
Lim shrugged.
"I'm finally gonna be recognised as a separate person!"
"Uh yeah, good for you." Lim filed his nails, not able to emotionally relate to that.
Suddenly Morris was overcome with a wave of emotion." This is… this is a step closer to my liberation. How could you not care?!"
Lim painted his nails. "Maybe because considering this is a life or death situation, that is NOT going to help us survive whatsoever!"
"Morris was so infuriated and offended at how little Lim valued her freedom. He had no idea how she felt being Boris' shadow all her life-" Boris said.
"STOP NARRATING!" Morris screamed in her sister's eyes. She turned to Lim. "AND YOU. If you think you're so much better WHY HAVE WE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME?! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT LEAD US TO STUPID CACTUS MAZES AND RUINING OUR ATTEMPTED MURDER."
Lim was taken aback at the sudden accusations and yelled back: "IF YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HIGH AND MIGHTY MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO SURVIVE YOURSELF."
Boris felt left out so she started screaming too. "YEAH. IN FACT, IT'S EVERY PERSON FOR THEMSELVES STARTING RIGHT NOW."
Mr Cat slapped himself in the face with his tail. "Idiots! One, I was the one who led you to the cactus. Two, Lim has proved most capable than both of you combined. And Three. You. Are. A. Siamese. Twin. I want you to think about what you just said very carefully."
But no one was there to hear him rant. They had all parted ways just then.
The Games had just taken a really random turn.
Meanwhile, the District 9 team at the Capitol were having a slight disagreement.
"YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SELFISH BRAT." Aleisha screamed at Pea while swing bowling a flowerpot at his face. Pea deflected it with a cricket bat and tackled Aleisha to the ground. They rolled around, swinging their hair at each other and pulling each other's fists out.
"YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT ME." Pea screamed back. They crashed into a table leg and a vase shattered onto the floor.
"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES." Persuliosianio stomped on their hands and grabbed their faces. "WE ARE ADULTS. We can civilly come to an agreement about which tribute to support."
Aleisha turned her furious face to Persuliosianio. "He," she jabbed a finger towards Pea. "Wants to help Lim just because that poor idiot has his monobrow stuck to his face!"
"Well understandably," Pea retorted. "And anyway, you want to help Morris instead. Don't you realise that both of those twins are going to die? They can't both come out alive."
"Morris has been overlooked by the Capitol since this whole thing started, just because she not a 'real tribute'," Aleisha blinked back tears. "Well I was overlooked my whole life until I won the games, and I can relate to that! And anyway, she wasn't reaped so she shouldn't have been here in the first place."
"Exactly, she wasn't even reaped and neither was Lim technically." Persuliosianio cut in, making the mentors turn to him. "We need a winner who actually was reaped or the Capitol might get annoyed. That's why we need to help Boris kill the other two."
Aleisha and Pea both screamed at him and yanked him into their fight.