AN: So I'm incapable of writing a completely happy story so prepare for some more sadness but don't worry! Happier times are on the way (and Lily if any of you have been missing her)!

After some uncertainty, James finally decided to sit with Christina and Vincent. Thankfully no one else was around or else he would have sat in the far back. He honestly didn't recognize a single face in the entire room except for maybe one woman who might have been Eric's secretary.

Vincent had his and his brother's eyes. That was the first thing he noticed. They were a bit wet and he hung close to Christina but other than the nose and perhaps the chin and hair, James didn't really see his brother's personality. For starters, his brother never would have cried in public, or possibly even in private.

James sat next to him and though at first uncertain, he gave the kid an encouraging smile. The kid returned it even though he had to wipe his eyes immediately afterwards.

The priest said a few words before Christina went up to present the eulogy. James was surprised at how plain it was. It didn't really say anything about any great qualities Eric had once had or anything particularly amazing he'd done. Ultimately, it was rather plain and possibly the only out of the ordinary point that she got out was how Eric had continued to work, even during the worst parts of treatment.

During it, Vincent had gone to grabbing hold of his arm, clearly needing someone there, but quickly switched back to his mother's once she finished and sat down. The priest came up again and asked if anyone else would like to say a few words before they proceeded. It was a bit odd. Usually they had a few people planned out and then the priest would ask for any others. However, the room remained quiet and not a single soul even looked like they wanted to say something. For a brief moment, James wondered if they'd all been paid to come. A stupid thought but one that certainly went with his brother's personality.

When the priest asked one last time, James suddenly stood up. He immediately wanted to sit back down as all eyes turned towards him but shook it off and made his way to the place Christina had stood only moments ago. He glanced at the coffin behind him, felt a bit numb, and quickly turned back to the small gathering, thankful that it wasn't an open casket service.

"Uh…hi," James finally said as he tried to organize his thoughts. "I don't think I know any of you people so I'm betting you don't know me but I'm…was I mean. I was Eric's younger brother."

He watched as the information either caused shock or an indifferent shrug from the group. He used their realization to get out a couple of breaths before continuing.

"I kind of did this in the heat of the moment so I'm sorry if what I have to say doesn't make much sense. Uh, to start with, for those that don't know, our parents died when we were very young," James began. "Eric practically raised me and most would think that would give us an even deeper bond besides that of a brother. It didn't. In fact, he was uh…he was barely even a brother to me.

"I think in his own mind, he wanted what was best for me, but that meant tearing down me if necessary. He couldn't except that um…that maybe I didn't want to follow in his path. He didn't see me as me but as a miniature version of himself. We'd uh…we got into a lot of arguments that usually ended with us screaming jumbled up words that neither of us could understand," James added, pausing once more to calm down and to watch the reactions on people's faces. Even though they hadn't known who he was seconds ago, they clearly had known Eric enough to not be surprised by this information.

With another deep breath he went on. "I actually didn't know he had…he had died until a couple of days ago. I didn't know…know he was sick. I didn't even know I had…that I was a um…that I had a nephew. That I was-am-an uncle."

James started to blink rapidly, trying to keep the wetness at bay. He knew what they were but part of him couldn't believe what he felt. "I guess what I'm basically saying is he…uh he was a bastard. A horrible person to me. He couldn't accept when things were uh…not what he wanted them to be I guess. And he was never…he was never there for me, not when I needed him most. He never encouraged me in any way and I god damn it! I hate him yet I'm still here and now I'm crying and I just—"

He stopped midsentence to cover up his face, to try and wipe away the tears. When he looked up again, his voice hitched to much to continue and then James was running out, unable to look back. He made it halfway down the path to the road before bending over and just shaking. He wasn't sobbing, it didn't hurt that much, but the realization that it hurt at all had him shaking all over.

After a moment, he felt a comforting hand on the small of his back and it really was what he needed at that moment. Slowly, James stood up straight, expecting Alastair to be there but was utterly shocked as he looked into Christina's eyes.

"Oh uh…don't you need to-to get back in?" James asked as he hurriedly wiped at his face even though he knew it was probably bright red.

"It's alright. And I hope you don't mind me following you," Christina responded. "I just…I wanted to say I was sorry. Sorry that he wasn't the big brother you needed or wanted."

"It's not like you could've done anything," replied James though the words did help some.

"I know but I tried. I tried to make him reach out even though I knew he never would."

"I'm surprised you would take the time," James said as he shook out his hands to try and get himself completely under control once more. "Uh, shouldn't you get back in there? I don't want to be the one to hold up the damn funeral."

"They're still proceeding with it," Christina responded. "Eric would have hated knowing it had gotten delayed."

James let out a choked snort. "He would, wouldn't he?" They stood for a moment in silence before he quickly asked, "Did you ever love my brother? I'm sorry if it's to forward but just with how you're acting…"

"No, I understand," Christina said with a small sigh. "I once did. Whole heartedly. But he just slowly stopped bothering with his family. He didn't stop caring per say, he just didn't pay as much attention."

"Why did you stay then?"

"Because I didn't hate him and after I found out I was pregnant, I knew that Eric would be able to provide for Vincent. If for whatever reason Vincent didn't conform to how Eric thought, then I would leave him, for the betterment of my son, but for the moment it was the safest place for Vincent. You must think me rather heartless."

"Not at all," James replied earnestly. "You took advantage of a not perfect situation. It may not be something I approve of but I certainly can't hate you for it. And I suppose…thank you for inviting me. I needed to get that out, more than I had realized."

"I'm glad I've helped in some small way then," Christina responded with a small nod of her head. She glanced back and James followed her line of sight where Alastair was keeping Vincent company on a park bench. They watched Alastair rub soothing circles into Vincent's back before Christina suddenly asked, "Care to get a drink?"

"Right now? While the funeral is going on?" asked James, a bit surprised.

"I've said what I've needed to say. No need in staying in this depressing atmosphere," Christina said with a sigh. "Besides, it's my birthday."

"Now that's depressing."

"I know, right?"

"How old are you?"

"Forty-two."

"Christ! It has been a while. You're looking good for forty-two."

"Thanks," Christina responded with a small snort. "But are you fine with a drink? I would honestly like to get to know you better. Besides just how loud you can scream."

Shaking his head at that, James muttered, "I think that's probably the best idea I've heard all day."

Christina gave a small smile at that before turning and moving back to Vincent. James followed and as they got closer, the kid looked up and said, "You didn't mention Alastair momma. I like him." The way he said Alastair had James chuckling, the pronunciation of it completely off.

"Well I'm glad," she replied as she kneeled down. "Now, I have a question and I want you to answer it honestly. Would you like to stay?"

Vincent quickly shook his head back and forth. "It's to sad."

"Then let's go some place a little happier, hmm?" she replied. "I've already asked James to join me. You are welcome to come as well Alastair."

"I don't want to intrude—"

"I want you to be there," interrupted James. "Please?"

"You don't need to say please. I'll go. I promise," Alastair replied. "So, where are we headed?"