Bloodyblonde's other idea, which made my hubby slap his forehead and wonder why HE didn't think of it!

:The Computer Program:

Sheldon had just finished connecting the SNES for vintage game night when the door opened. He looked over to see his three friends entering with a couple bags of food containers.

"I'm telling you, this program will change everything!" Howard said insistently.

"A virtual girl who tells you what you are doing wrong?" Raj snorted. "Isn't that what a real girlfriend is for?"

Leonard snickered and set the bags on the table. "Howard, no one wants a computerized nag."

Sheldon took his spot on the couch. "Are you once again attempting to build a woman, Howard?"

Howard rolled his eyes. "No! It's a computer program. You design the avatar. Pick from a selection of personality traits and once activated, it becomes a sort of adviser. You choose it's knowledge. Say you are one of us, and have no real knowledge of women. You would select romance as one of it's bodies of knowledge. When the program creates the advisor, it would scour the web for anything pertaining to romance. Then when you need help with, say, the perfect Valentine's gift, the program will help you. Or say you forgot her birthday."

"I couldn't. I have an eidetic memory," Sheldon interrupted.

Howard glared at him. "The program would tell you how to make it up to her."

Leonard opened his container. "That'll go over well. 'Here honey. My computer wife said you'd like this gift to make up for forgetting you.' I can see it now"

Howard pulled a disc from his jacket pocket. "Laugh all you want, but this is a great idea. How many women wish they had a way of understanding their kids? How many men wish they could understand their women? Every choice you make becomes part of the avatar's personality. It's the closest thing to a true synthetic person ever!"

Despite his disinterest in the uses Howard proposed, Sheldon found himself mildly intrigued by the program. "Have you tested it?"

Howard looked sheepish. "Not yet. I just finished the programming today."

Raj looked up. "How do you know it will work then, dude?"

Howard looked around the room. "That's why I brought it up. I need a tester. I can't do it. I'm too biased."

Leonard snorted. "I'm not putting an untested program in my laptop." Raj shook his head in agreement.

"I'll test it."

All three men looked at Sheldon in shock. "What?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon nodded. "My laptop has every anti-virus and anti-malware program there is, along with a couple I designed myself. Any defect or bug on Howard's disc has no chance of infecting my system. I'll test it."

"Why?" Howard asked suspiciously.

"If the program does what you suggest, then it is one step closer to a true robotic life form. One my intelligence could be transferred to so future generations are not deprived of my genius," he answered.

Howard looked down at the disc in his hand. "Okay, now I'm starting to rethink this." Sheldon glared and took it from him. Howard shrugged. "Okay. Test it and tell me what you think. Oh, and don't just build a virtual you, either!"

"Drat." Sheldon muttered.

Xxx

After videos games the guys decided to go out to a bar. Sheldon used the disc to download the program and started it. The initial prompt asked for a gender selection. He was so tempted to build himself despite Howard's warning. A virtual Sheldon. A Sheldon 2.0, if you will.

With a sigh he picked female. A female form appeared on the side of the screen. Beside it appeared prompts for appearance. He viewed them skeptically. True, Howard had given him a large number of options, but most seemed to follow anime proportions. He tried to keep it realistic.

Hair: blonde like Nurse Chapel

Eyes: green for Green Lantern

Height: 5'5" like Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Weight: 115, the perfect weight for that height.

Age: 23, he lived at 2311 Los Robles

Figure: Slim, but muscular

Another prompt appeared with a sliding scale. He moved it back and forth until he found an ideal combination of slim and lightly muscled.

A small wrench spun and the avatar took form. Sheldon smiled with pride. It was quite pleasing. Then he chose body of knowledge. Since he really did not need an adviser, he chose the one Howard had suggested. Romance. Next a long list of personality traits appeared. He was impressed. There were over 3000 to choose from. Sheldon scrolled down the list, choosing 14 of the 15 quickly.

Honest. Dependable. Humorous. Sensible. Generous. Outspoken. Kind. Imaginative. Understanding. Resilient. Compassionate. Adaptable. Industrious. Friendly. He paused and looked around, even though he was all alone. It's just a program, he reminded himself. He clicked Flirty and hit the START icon. He sat back as the little wrench began spinning and a timer began counting. It would take 20 minutes to complete the creation process.

Sheldon stood to get himself a bottle of water. Why on earth had he chosen that last one? He sipped the water and then jerked in surprise as the electricity flickered. Another flicker and the lights went out. "Drat!"

Sheldon glanced at his laptop screen. It was still running thanks to the battery. It read 81%. He walked over to the windows and looked down at the street. All the lights on the block were out. He made his way over to the closet and began searching for a flashlight.

"Can I help?"

Sheldon screamed and spun around. He looked toward the door, but it was closed. The room was so dark, he could barely make out his couch in front of him. He tried to see into the inky blackness but to no avail.

"Who are you?" he asked with a squeak.

"You haven't named me yet."

"Me?" He sputtered. "Why would I name you?"

"Because you created me, sweetie. Are you sure I can't help you? You seem to be confused."

Sheldon edged his way to the side of the couch. "What do you mean I created you?"

Just then the lights came back on and he gasped. She was standing beside his desk. Nude. Sheldon slapped a hand over his eyes quickly. "Oh sweet sufferin' Jesus! Why are you naked? How did you get in here? Why are you NAKED?!"

She looked down at her self and then crossed the room. She grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt, ignoring his yelp. In a few seconds she had it off him and on her. "Oh, This smells nice. Can I keep it?"

Sheldon's eyes popped open. "That's my Batman shirt! No you can't have it!"

She reached for the hem. "Want it back, then?"

Sheldon blushed fiercely. Her hands drew his eyes to the hem. It was tight across the chest but covered her halfway down her thighs. It seemed so seductive. He looked back up and opened his mouth. He paused though as he got a very good look at her. "You're the avatar! How ..?! Wait! You aren't real!"

The blond looked confused for a moment. "Can I have a name now? My programming needs to be finished."

Sheldon stared into her eyes. They were a beautiful jade with flecks of copper in them. Like a new penny, he mused.

"I like it," she smiled.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Penny," she replied. "Simple but fun. Hello. I'm Penny. Your girl."

Sheldon twitched. He hadn't realized he spoken out loud. "But I don't need a girl. Or want one! Go back into the computer!" he fluttered his hands in the direction of his laptop. "Get in there!"

Penny slid an arm around his neck and smiled. "You're so cute."

Sheldon tried to jump back, but he had forgotten his close proximity to the couch. He tumbled backwards over the arm, his head landing in his spot. Penny fell with him, her arm still around his neck. He gasped at the sudden weight, and his arms automatically curled around her so she didn't fall to the floor. Unfortunately, the shirt had ridden up and while one hand landed on her back, the other landed on her exposed buttock.

He froze, their faces only inches apart. "You think I'm cute?" he asked softly. A blush crept up his neck again. What in the world was happening to him?

She nodded and moved her face a couple of centimeters closer to his. "Very cute," she said softly. "You have gorgeous eyes."

Sheldon felt like he was drowning. It wasn't a completely unpleasant experience, he decided. "So do you.'

Penny smiled and placed her other hand on the couch by his head to brace herself. "Sweetie, I'm about to go off program."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

She bent slightly and licked his bottom lips. "My programming says I'm to help you find a girl. I'd rather be your girl than find you one."

Sheldon's hands tightened on her body. "I still don't understand how you can be real, be flesh. It makes no sense." Penny closed the distance between their mouths and he groaned. When she raised back up he took a trembling breath. "What was I saying again?" Penny grinned and kissed him again.

Xxx

The next morning was full of explanations. First he had to explain to Howard that the power surges had fried his data. Then he had to explain to Leonard that they had a new roommate. Next he had to explain to Penny why she could only touch him there in private. And finally he had to explain to the EMT's that all three of his friends had passed out and hit their heads at the same time because they just didn't understand computer programs.