Sorry this took so long, guys! I had major writer's block for a while. But I'm back!
The next few days passed similarly. Wake, train, eat, train some more, bond with the team as much as possible, fall asleep, wake in the middle of the night, train, and then pass out. It was something that he used to assume Keith did, but he knew better now. Keith wasn't there training when Lance couldn't sleep in the middle of the night.
Of course, Lance knew that it was only a matter of time before his sleeping problem grew to more than just a sleeping problem; eventually, there would be an attack they would need to respond to in the middle of the night, and Lance would end up exhausting himself. But until then... Until then, Lance would do what he needed to do in order to get any amount of sleep at night.
His newfound insomnia had only further distanced him from the rest of the team. On top of being forced into being the Red Paladin (and miserable in the role, again a replacement for Keith), he was having trouble sleeping, having trouble bonding with Red, and he was even beginning to lose his appetite. Even hating the taste of food goo, Lance would have easily been able to finish off two plates of the stuff after training... before. Now, Lance had to force himself to finish even one, and he wasn't sure what the cause of it was. It didn't taste any worse, and it didn't make him nauseous or anything, he just... wasn't hungry. It was an odd feeling, never being hungry, and one that he was sure would come back to bite him in the ass someday soon.
Training so often had brought about plenty of improvement, though. It had only been about two weeks since Shiro's disappearance. The Blade of Marmora had left the ship rather soon afterward, taking Slav with them, though they stayed in contact with both Keith and Allura. That was lucky for Lance, given that he hadn't wanted to get drawn into any of the ridiculously long training the Blade of Marmora put their members through, that Keith had wanted to start running the paladins through before the group of Galran warriors left. Lance felt that he was improving enough on his own, though. After about a week and a half of training with the red bayard, and a week of getting in extra training at night, Lance was up to level 24 on the Altean gladiator, and he was very near to consistently beating it enough to move onto the next level.
Being himself, though, meant that Lance had to hide just how much he was excelling – the others would simply think he was fishing for compliments, and it was easier to take critiques on fighting skills he knew he already had then complaints about showing off. He often forced himself to stumble while training with the others; not enough to ruin the simulation, but enough to make them think he was only improving at a moderate rate.
In addition to improving while fighting at night, Lance had taken to humming under his breath while he fought as a method to improve his concentration, even though he had a feeling Red didn't like it. The lithe robot didn't seem to like much that Lance did – it was less that he displeased her, and more that he wasn't Keith. It left plenty for Lance to brood over while he trained, and meditated, and fought with the others, keeping his head down as best as possible. The only person he really got along with anymore was Coran. He still loved Hunk – he was his best friend! – but he knew that trying to be friendly like always was simply burdening the rest of the paladins, slowing them down. So he brooded, and trained, and meditated, trying to bond with Red and ignore the progress that Allura and Keith were making with Blue and Black.
The late night training sessions were doing wonders for Lance's proficiency with his bladed weapon, but they weren't doing much for his mood. Lance wasn't keeping up with his skin routine (not that anyone cared) and he was more irritable than not lately. Any training that they did to form Voltron worked, but barely – the bond was hardly stable, and none of them were particularly comfortable with the new setup. It was enough to fight off a Galra attack, so long as they remained as disorganized as they currently were after Zarkon's defeat.
During the day, in the free hours that they had (for no matter how hard Keith and Allura pushed, there simply was not enough training to fill the full day) outside of training, Lance had taken up studying Altean. He was far from fluent, but he was getting good enough to actually read the words flashing on the screens as they moved through space.
The past few days, Coran, Allura, and Pidge had all devoted their free time to fine-tuning the search for Shiro. And on the lunch hour of the day marking Lance's second week with the Red bayard, a sharp squeal of surprise sounded from the engineering bay, where the three had taken up residence. "I'VE GOT HIM! WE FOUND SHIRO!"
Pidge sounded elated, and who could blame her? Having Shiro back would put things to rights. They all missed the eldest paladin, and his leadership. Lance found himself running towards the engineering bay, the Altean dictionary still in his hand. He met up with Hunk, grinning at the yellow paladin as they skidded into the room. Keith was already there.
"Where? Where is he?" Keith demanded, face flushed with nerves and excitement.
"We have determined that in order to keep him safe from Zarkon, the Black lion sent him to one place that he would never go," Allura said smoothly, though her expression faltered at the end.
"Where is that? For the, ah, humans. In the room." Lance didn't miss the glare that the princess shot him in response.
"The Galra's home planet," Coran said grimly. "It's now considered uninhabitable, to most species. But it still grows plant life, and has a high enough oxygen and nitrogen content in the air to support human life."
"How do we get there?" Hunk asked, concern twisting his features. "I mean, he may be able to survive there, but he can't be there for too long."
"It will take several warp jumps. And it's likely that there will be Galra ships surrounding the planet," Pidge explained. "Even though they can't live there anymore, the Galra's home planet is where Black was made. It holds a lot of history for them."
"Well, then why don't we just go now? The longer we wait, the longer Shiro is stuck there," Lance suggested.
"It's not that simple," Allura said with a frown. "We'll have to ensure that we can all... function properly during the rescue mission, otherwise this will never work." Lance didn't cringe in response to her hesitation, though he knew it had been directed towards him. He knew that he looked bad; tired, for certain, and probably not as nice as he normally did. But that didn't mean he had been slow.
"Well, then, why don't we just keep training? It will help us work together better than just working on our own." Pidge's suggestion was a good one, and Lance knew that it would help to assuage Allura's fears. "Besides, we work well enough with the lions. We just need to work better with each other."
"...Alright," Allura conceded, nodding at the green paladin. "Everyone should be in the training room in ten doboshes. Be ready to work together; teamwork is something that we all need to be able to do with ease. And don't worry, this won't be forever. We will have Shiro back soon."
Lance nodded, watching out of the corner of his eyes as Hunk, Pidge, and Keith did the same. While Keith was the leader in name (and lion), it was clear that Allura held the authority within the castle still. He went to his room to freshen up a bit, ignoring his reflection in the mirror. He didn't like what he saw lately. He was tired, with bags under his eyes and rashy acne on his cheeks. He was paler, and thinner, too, since his appetite had disappeared with his restful nights. There were half-eaten plates of food strewn around his room from when he ate on his own. He ignored the signs of his worsening condition, simply pulling on a fresh shirt and putting on the red armor, grabbing the bayard and heading to the training room. He held back a yawn as he arrived a few minutes early, though Keith, Pidge, and Allura were already there. Hunk was probably taking a few minutes to clean up the kitchen.
"Cutting it a little close, weren't you, Lance?" Keith questioned, watching Lance's face with concern. He had been worried about the teen, but there wasn't much he could do. Lance didn't want help from anyone, he'd made that clear when he stopped coming to meals and started avoiding everyone but Coran. Allura didn't think that anything was wrong; she was too worried about getting Shiro back and trying to bond with Blue enough to form Voltron. The lion had made it clear that she wanted no paladin but Lance, but would allow Allura to pilot her until Shiro had been rescued.
Lance didn't respond verbally, just scowled in response to Keith's words. He didn't hear the concern in the black paladin's voice, just the criticism it had been phrased in. "I guess," he muttered, looking down. He couldn't stand to see the judgement in their eyes.
"I'm here," Hunk called, panting a little as he ran into the room. "Sorry, I had to clean up the kitchen."
"It's no worry, Hunk, you got here in time," Allura assured. "I believe we should begin with some teamwork building. It is something similar to the first exercises that I put you through. The goal is to keep your other teammates safe using communication and any method you can think of."
The paladins nodded, keeping their bayards on their hips as they summoned their shields. Lance blinked hard, trying to force his eyes to feel more alert as he took his place, glaring at the gladiators surrounding them. Keith's voice was sharp as he called out, "Begin!" and within seconds the gladiators had begun firing.
Lance did his best to keep the lasers from hitting the others, and he trusted that the others would keep him safe as well, if only for the sake of the team's success. He knew that he was expendable. By the time the exercise was finished, by Allura's command, Lance had come close to being hit a few times but only through his own carelessness. Allura deemed it a success, and then set them to training with their bayards, supporting each other as best as possible with different techniques.
Lance was paired with Hunk; Hunk's long-range cannon required him to be still while he shot, and Lance's mid-range bo staff was good enough to protect him. Pidge was able to work on her own, as something not unlike a scout, moving ahead and taking down the gladiators on the fringes of the group. Allura and Keith worked well together, Allura's weapon (something that looked like Earth's double-barrel shotguns) backing up Keith's new sword, a hand-and-a-half sword that was larger than his previous one.
The battle was going well – Lance had a good handle on what he was doing with his weapon now, thanks to all of his late-night training – until Lance felt dizzy for a moment, stumbling as he dogded a shot taken at him. Shaking his head, Lance tried to ignore the sensation, readjusting his grip on the staff as he charged the gladiator and dispatched it within a few seconds. Black spots danced across his vision and Lance tried to fight them off, but they slowly encroached his vision until it was tunnelling, and he fell forward, muscles feeling gone.
"Way to go, Lance," Hunk cheered, grinning for his friend as he continued shooting at the group of robots in front of him. His cheer was cut off, though, when Lance stumbled again, then collapsed, the sound solid and sickening as it resounded through the room. "...Lance?" He knew that his friend had been in no joking mood lately. This wasn't likely to be a prank or practical joke, not with Shiro's life at stake.
"End simulation," Keith called, alerted to Lance's situation by the sound of the paladin falling and by Hunk's concerned call a few seconds later. He rushed over, pulling the bayard away from his hands and turning Lance over. Seeing him from afar had led Keith to believe that, while Lance was tired, he was relatively alright. Seeing him up close like this, however, told Keith that there was something much worse going on.
"Hunk, has Lance been sleeping?" Keith demanded, turning to the yellow paladin with concern in his eyes.
"I... I don't know," Hunk admitted shamefully. "He's been avoiding me, and he barely touches the food on his plate when he does eat with us. And he's been skipping his daily routines since the lion switch," he told Keith. "I'll go check his room, unless you need my help with something."
"No, but I need Allura's help to get him to the medical bay. There's some kind of weird rash on his face and he's got a fever."
"Isn't that just acne?" Pidge questioned, frowning at Lance's pale, drawn face.
"No, that's not acne. Trust me, I've got plenty of experience," Keith said seriously. "And besides, even if he hasn't been keeping up with his skin routines, he showers often enough that acne shouldn't be a problem."
Pidge wanted to tease Keith about knowing Keith well enough to comment on his daily showering and skin routines, but decided against it. "Oh. Alright. Well, I'll go see if there's anything on any of the logs to tell us what's wrong with him," Pidge suggested. "You and Coran and the Princess can get him into a pod."
Keith nodded, and the paladins separated, going to find out what they could about their friend's sudden illness.
Hunk was a chronic worrier, his friends throughout middle school and at the Garrison constantly told him. If he wasn't worrying about his grades or his health, he was worrying about his friends or an upcoming event. And right now, Hunk was worried about Lance.
For the past two weeks, Lance had been withdrawn and morose, and Hunk could understand why. At Galaxy Garrison, people treated him like Keith's replacement. Iverson had made a point to rag on it every chance he could. And being in space, finding the Blue lion, was the first thing that Lance could feel he had done specifically to be recognized for. Shiro's disappearance and the subsequent lion shift had simply made him feel like Keith's replacement again.
But in those two weeks, Lance's appetite (normally healthy enough Hunk would wonder how he could eat so much and be so thin) had dropped to almost nothing. He had stopped his daily skincare routine, too, and more often than not he was up and training even earlier than Keith, even though Hunk knew his friend was a heavy sleeper. It was... concerning, to say the least.
As he approached Lance's room, Hunk braced himself for what he would find, though he didn't know what that would be. Though it was clear Lance was having trouble, he didn't think his friend would resort to hurting himself. Letting out a deep breath, Hunk opened the door, stepping inside.
There were plates half-full of food goo, all in varying states of decay. Hunk made a face at the mess, and then at the smell. Ignoring the plates for now, he moved to the bed. It was mussed, as though Lance had slept in it, but the sheets were still damp from sweat and kicked away, as though he had panicked and pulled himself out of bed. Lance had never had nightmares before, he had always been more of a solid, sprawling sleeper.
His clothes were all put away, too – the jacket his brother had gotten him hung up neatly in the closet, gathering dust. The shirt and pants he had worn on their first trip, folded and put away. The only clothes that were pulled out were old Altean clothing, things that he was sure Lance wouldn't miss if they were destroyed. Pulling the clothes from the drawers, Hunk happened upon a pad, a message typed out in English. Several lines were crossed out.
This is Alejandro (Lance) Matthias McClain's last will and testament. I don't have much to give away, so it's mostly just goodbyes, and one message. I want to be buried in the clothes that I wore when I first got here, if I can't be brought home. I want my mama and papa to know that I loved them, and that I died doing something that I believed in. I want my siblings to know that I never stopped thinking of them. And I want any neices and nephews that I have to know that even though they never met their uncle Lance, he loved them with everything he had.
I want my team – Hunk, Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Coran, and Allura – to know that I'm sorry I was such a burden. I'm sorry that I slowed you all down and had a hard time accepting things sometimes. I want you all to know that I tried my hardest and that I wanted to make you all proud. I wanted Allura to know that she and Blue make a great team, and that even though she never really listened, she was a great leader despite a lack of experience. I wanted Hunk to know that he should man up and ask Shay out, and that even though he's afraid a lot, he's braver than he knows. I want Pidge to know that, if we haven't found the Holts yet, you will. They'll be just fine, and they'll be so proud of what you've accomplished. I want Shiro to know that he was a great leader, and that he holds the team together. Also, he should man up, too, and ask Allura out. I want Coran to know that he reminded me of an uncle that I have, and even if I seemed a little fed up sometimes, I really did feel close to him and enjoyed every story he had to tell. And last but not least, Keith. I want you to know that, even if being a leader was thrust on you, you did a good job. You should try to stick up for yourself a little more, though, instead of just letting Allura run everything. I'm really proud of you, Keith, you've come a long way. You're someone that I'm proud to have looked up to.
The 'will' ended there, and Hunk found that there were tears streaming down his cheeks as he put it back down. He felt like he'd read something that he shouldn't have. But this was something to tell the others about. The food, the nightmares, and the will.
Pidge rushed up to the training room's console, deciding to run a few checks. She knew that Lance had been getting in extra training when there was no one else in there, so she wanted to check exactly when that had been. And she was in luck – there were video records of the logged training times, starting from when someone walked into the room until they walked out. The first account of Lance being in the room alone was the day he had moved to the Red lion, and he had the red bayard in his hands, twirling it in his hands with ease and experience. Pidge wondered where he had learned to handle it like that, since he made so many comments about being the 'sharpshooter'.
Pidge fast-forwarded through the video, skipping to the next time Lance was alone. It was later, and he looked tired, like he had woken up and decided that he had nothing better to do. He trained until it was nearly morning, leaving just before Keith arrived. The next time he showed up was the next night; Lance had come a little sooner that time, and trained for a little longer. This continued every night for the last two weeks. By the time Lance had finished, he had been on level 24 – Pidge was shocked. She had only gotten to level eight so far, and that was training on her own as often as she could, around looking for Shiro and looking for Matt and her dad.
Frowning, Pidge got up, looking at the pad that Lance had left to the side of the room – it looked like it was all in Altean. It was like the program she had started and promptly quit because it tried to kill her – except this one looked like it was just about learning how to read the language, not speak it. She had no idea Lance had been trying to learn Altean. She had never tried to really be friends with him or Hunk while they were at the Garrison, though they had been teammates. She had grown closer to Hunk once they were in space, though, since it proved to her that Hunk could help her with the practical parts of her interests. But she hadn't made any efforts to make any closer connections with Lance. She hardly knew the teen.
Keith was grateful for Allura's help in lifting Lance off the ground. The teen may have been lanky and tall, but he had recently developed some serious muscles, and that made him even heavier. "Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?" Allura asked as the pair carried Lance to the medical bay, Coran having run ahead to prep a pod.
"No. But I think it might have something to do with not sleeping. I wasn't really close with him before we got out here, so I don't know if he has a history of things like this happening. As far as I'm aware, the first time any of us met was at Galaxy Garrison, and even then some of us didn't interact much," Keith explained. "I just hope that he'll be okay. I've never seen him like this before."
"I... feel as though I have been too harsh on him," Allura said after a long moment. "It... Piloting the Blue lion has taught me much about most of the team, but I have still kept Lance at an arm's length. And the Blue lion has made it clear that she is only tolerating my presence until Lance is able to pilot her once more." She looked over at Keith, then sighed. "I have been too harsh on all of you. The previous paladins all signed up to be defenders of the universe, and they were all adults. It is unfair to ask you all to shoulder this burden when you are all so young."
"Well, most of us have really good motivation to continue," Keith assured her. "For Shiro at the moment, if nothing else. He's the only family I have, so as long as he's motivated, you know I'll be here. And Pidge has to find her family. Hunk... I know that he wants to protect his family. The fact that he likes Shay doesn't hurt. And Lance... He's wanted to go home. He doesn't say as much, but I know that he feels it. But he doesn't want to let us down, so he won't. I honestly don't know how long that will last, though."
Keith sighed, shaking his head as he helped take off Lance's armor to get him in the cryopod. "When will we know what's wrong with him?" Allura asked Coran, not wanting to think about the fact that Lance may wish to leave them.
"In just a tick, princess. The pod needs to calibrate –" Coran went still, eyes widening in response to what he was reading. "This... this cannot be right. The pod must be malfunctioning."
"What does it say?"
"It's... the pod is registering Altean genes," Coran explained, shocked still. "More Altean than Human."