post s2, alternate ending where clarke came back to arkadia before pike. (gina doesn't exist)

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"Bellamy! I need to go! I need to do this!" Clarke shouts desperately at her co-leader.

"Why you?" He yells back, pleading her to stay.

"Why not Monty, or Raven, or Harper, or Murphy, for gods sake why can't we just send Murphy!" Bellamy's voice begins to strain as he rambles, and Clarke is beginning to get fed up with this.

"Because, I need to be the one to see her, Lexa said she'd only talk to me!" Clarke cries in response, but still managing to spit out the heda's name like poison. Although it had been a few months since she had abandoned her people and their deal at Mount Weather, Clarke still felt a strong hatred toward Lexa.

Bellamy's eyes widen and his jaw clenches as he inhales deeply.

"Clarke, please." He says, his tone growing exasperated.

"Bellamy..." She responds, knowing very well that she needs to make this trip to Polis, alone. Knowing very well that it is dangerous, and knowing very well that she may never return. But it was the only way for peace.

Bellamy knew these things as well. He also knew that she would sacrifice herself for her people in a heartbeat, which only added to his worry.

"You can't go." He says sternly, and Clarke looks at him, her eyes saying 'But I need to.' But Bellamy wasn't having it.

"I just got you back, Clarke." He voices the words that had been banging around in his head this whole conversation. Bellamy watches as her eyes soften and she examines him closely, not taking her eyes off his.

"Remember when you told me that you couldn't lose me too?" He asks, and she frowns at the memory, her head slightly tilting toward the ground.

"Well, maybe..." Bellamy breathes in deeply as he tries to choose his next words carefully.

"Maybe I can't lose you either," He finally says, and keeps his vision focused on his shoes as his voice cracks over the sentence. When he finally brings his eyes up to Clarke, he sees understanding, kindness, and some other emotion he just can't place; all swimming around in her beautiful blue orbs.

After a few moments of just silently staring at each other, she finally offers him a small smile.

"I know, Bellamy." She murmurs, and for a moment, he lets himself feel hopeful. Hopeful that maybe, just maybe, she'll ditch this dumb polis plan. But his wish is quickly shattered with her next words.

"But I need to go." She says, and Bellamy feels anger bubble up in his veins.

Doesn't she get it? Everything I just told her? Or did that just go right over her intelligent, pretty head?

"No you don't, not really." Bellamy protests, but she just shakes her head at him, dismissing his words.

"Yes, I do. I need to go. I need to make sure that Lexa stops Ice Nation from hurting us. I need to make sure that we're safe." She says, her voice steady and stable; like she's so sure this will work. However, Bellamy is thinking the exact opposite.

"But who's going to make sure you're safe?" Bellamy says, his voice coming out no louder than a whisper. But she hears him. And part of him wishes she didn't.

At first she seems taken aback, her eyebrows furrowing as she glances at the ground in shock. After a moment of collecting her thoughts, she looks back to him.

"I don't know, Bellamy." She replies honestly. "But that's not what's important. What's important is that-"

"What's important is that you're alive, Clarke!" Bellamy interrupts, trying his best to calm himself down, but failing miserably whenever Clarke says another thing to change the subject from her.

"That's what's important to me." He finishes, and Clarke stares at him, unable to fully comprehend the fact that Bellamy Blake is having a meltdown over her well being right in front of her.

"Don't say that, you know it's more important that everyone else is safe! Not just me! If the roles were switched you would go! And you know deep down that I need to do this!" Clarke shouts at him, triggering something inside of him. Some deep unknown emotion he didn't know he was capable of feeling.

And the next time he spoke, he didn't think before he cried out the words. Not even for a second.

"But if the roles were switched it wouldn't matter to you because you don't love me too!" Bellamy only realized what he had just yelled out a moment too late. His eyes widen and his lips parted in shock, feeling his throat go dry as his pulse raced impossibly quickly.

Clarke looked about the same as he did by the confession. Her eyebrows creased as she stared at him, mouth hanging open. She didn't speak. Neither of them did. Neither of them said a word about the fact that Bellamy had pretty much just told Clarke that he loved her.

And that she didn't love him back. Which confused Clarke even more. But it shouldn't. Because she doesn't. Does she?

After a few moments like this, Bellamy finally breaks the silence.

"I-I'm sorry," He croaks out hurriedly, "I didn't mean, I mean, I shouldn't have, I..." He swallowed hard as he thought about his next words.

"Please don't go," He finally gets out, before giving Clarke one last glance, turning on his heel, and leaving her tent, trying to ignore the weight of rejection tugging on his heart.

When he reached his tent, he let out a shaky breath as he tried to comprehend everything that had happened that night.

Bellamy wasn't one hundred percent sure about anything. But one thing was bugging him the most.

He loved Clarke Griffin?

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if you want a part 2 let me know but i think i'm gonna end this one here, i kinda like the angst