This is the end of part two of the story and a lot happens in this chapter. It's probably my longest and most nerve wracking one so far so I hope it's okay.

I don't own lost girl.

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Sometimes, she still couldn't wrap her head around it.

Like when Lauren was busy putting her hair in a ponytail that she just couldn't seem to get right although she had been trying for close to ten minutes now. Her eyes stealing glances at Tamsin through the mirror but pretending not to because the blond was supposed to be pissed, which was rather funny because she was too adorable to pull the look off; Tamsin couldn't even begin warp her mind around it.

It was-god- it was different? Yeah, maybe that was word. Different in the best way possible.

Because Tamsin had never had this. She had never had someone genuinely want her. To be around her, to spend time with her so much so that when Tamsin couldn't the other person got sad.

And she was trying to understand Lauren's feelings. She really was.

The town festival or something or the other was on tonight and Lauren had been begging for Tamsin to go with her for weeks.

Tamsin couldn't. Lauren felt bad about it and Tamsin really wanted to sympathize with her girlfriend.

Really.

But it was fucking hard to sympathize when your heart is so damned happy!

"Lauren, you know I'd come with you if I could." She tried keeping the bliss from her voice.

She didn't think Lauren would appreciate it that her heart was pretty much soaring with stupid feelings at this moment. In fact, judging by the pointed looks Lauren was giving her anytime she even thought of smiling, she was sure Lauren wouldn't appreciate her bliss right now.

Lauren sighed and glared at herself at the mirror, particularly her hair which Tamsin couldn't understand what she wanted to do with it because it was bloody gorgeous the way it was.

"I know." She said finally, leaving the mirror and sitting next to Tamsin on the bed, "I just," she took the other blond's hand and started drawing random letters inside Tamsin's hand with her index finger, she had taken to doing that a lot this past days, "I really wanted you to be there. It's usually a lot of fun. I wanted to have fun with you tonight."

It couldn't be helped at that moment, Tamsin just had to smile, "you're too cute sometimes."

Lauren rolled her eyes but Tamsin could see she was close to blushing, "shut up."

"I'm serious." She kissed the blond's cheek, "and I'm really sorry I won't be there tonight. I have to work. I need to make money so I can romance you with fancy dinners and..."

"Tamsin..."

Now Lauren was full out blushing.

Tamsin laughed and wrapped herself around her girlfriend.

Taking a moment to bask on just how fucking content she felt.

She was here. After all those months of crying and feeling her heart break and guilt and god knows what the hell else; she was here. And she will be damned to hell and back if she let even one single moment go unappreciated.

"I wasn't finished." she whispers softly, her lips somehow finding themselves on Lauren's neck. The blond smelt so freaking good that Tamsin could be content to just stay there for as long as she could.

For as long as she will be allowed to.

"I don't need romancing, Tamsin." Lauren's voice was a little husky.

Tamsin smiled, glad to know she wasn't the only one being affected by their proximity, "you might not need it, but you deserve it and I want to romance you."

Lauren chuckled and shifted her seating position so they were facing each other. Her brown eyes locked on Tamsin as if she was considering saying something.

She'd had that look in her eyes for a while now and Tamsin knew if she just tried hard enough, she'd be able to tell what Lauren was trying to tell her. But she didn't want to decipher Lauren, she wanted Lauren to tell her things , willingly.

So she pushed whatever the hell she thought Lauren was thinking to the very back of her mind and smiled softly at Lauren, "what?"

"Nothing." Lauren said after a minute, giving Tamsin a peck on the lips, "I''ll really miss you tonight."

"I'll miss you too."

It was true, she would.

...

Well, she knew she'd miss Lauren, she just hadn't anticipated how much.

Everyone around her annoyed the living shit out of her.

Nadia had decided that tonight is the night that she would bring her intensely annoying girl friend to work.

Tamsin wouldn't have minded. Yeah, she would have been irked because in all honesty Crystal is annoying as shit and the few times Tamsin has met her it was a battle to not slap the girl, if not for anything else, to get her to shut her damn mouth.

Tamsin didn't even get why Nadia fought so hard for the girl, but to each their own. Tamsin was dating the awesomest girl to ever walk this planet, other people's shit was none of her concern.

Unless other people brought their shit to work then proceeded to take breaks every five minutes to go entertain said shit. On one of the busiest nights of the bar's calender.

And then as if she didn't have enough to deal with with Nadia slacking off and acting like a love sick puppy, it turned out that the town festival was synonymous to the day the town's people decided to be loud as hell.

Everyone was shouting one thing or the other and it was confusing and it was giving her a damn headache and she was sure she would kill if it meant she'd be able to go back in time and be with Lauren in bed, reading that book that Tamsin didn't understand at all but Lauren loved reading to her anyway.

She'd kill a hundred people to get back to that moment.

"Hey Blondie!"

She halted all her thoughts and trained her eyes at the man who had called her that, "are you talking to me?"

Her voice was every bit as menacing as she meant for it to be.

He swallowed, "I just want a beer."

She wanted to rip him a new one. Take all the stress of missing her girl and Nadia annoying the fuck out of her out on him.

But she was already threading thin ice with Trick and with the whole Bo drama , she was afraid to give him any reason to even think of firing her.

She needed this job. She had bills to pay and she really, honestly, wanted to take Lauren out on a date.

Somewhere out of town because Betty freaked the hell out of Tamsin with her staring and she wanted their first date to be somewhere special. Special places are more often than not expensive places. With this in mind, she sighed and pasted a fake smile on her face, "what can I get you."

It was going to be a long night.

...

It was destiny, or fate, or really really good luck.

Bo wasn't sure but she was certain it was something and anyway, it didn't matter. Whatever it was, she was thankful to it.

The town festival was a big deal in town. People came out in numbers to dance and eat, play games but most of all, people came out in numbers to gather information.

Theirs was a small town, other people's business was the greatest source of entertainment there was.

So when Aife's letter arrived, telling Bo to not, under any circumstances, miss the festival, the brunette had understood but for purely selfish reasons.

People in town talked. She was certain talks of her not living at home at the moment were going all around and she'd gotten a few raised brows at school when Dyson didn't follow her around like a puppy anymore. Those didn't matter though, she could easily explain them away if she wanted to, which she didn't.

It was no one's business but hers what she decided to do with her life. She was done letting people who didn't matter control when people who didn't matter could talk enough that their talk got to people who did matter.

Her dad was still out of town- extended stay or something of the sort- Bo was actually thankful for that because no matter how hard she tried, she still wasn't ready to have the talk with her dad. But she knew full well that if she didn't turn up at this event and event and be the charming little Dennis everyone knew, people would have enough information to really talk. And when their words somehow got to her father when he came back she'd be forced to have the conversation with him.

And she honestly wasn't up for that. She was done with being forced into doing things.

That's why two hours into the town festival, after enduring a really awkward one hour with her mom where Aife tried to act like everything is perfectly fine and Bo tried not to vomit all over the place form pure disgust at her mother; she was seated in a lone booth. Watching as children with painted faces ran around carrying balloons and laughing like nothing in the world mattered to them.

It reminded her of Lauren. Of the days they were too young to know about feelings although they knew they were there. It reminded her of the town festivals where they ran around and ate too much although they knew later their stomachs would ache but didn't care much for it.

It reminded her of everything she had lost- Of everything she was fighting so damn hard to get back.

"Thank fuck." Someone grumbled and practically barged into the booth.

Bo frowned and looked up at the kind of insane looking girl.

Bright Blue hair, purple dress, way too big earrings and make up that made her seem like she was going to a rock festival somewhere, "can I help you?" She didn't mean for her voice to come off as bitchy. She was trying to change, didn't mean it happened over night.

The girl stood straight and stared at Bo like she had just noticed that she stumbled into a not so empty booth, "do you have beer on you?" She asked quite seriously.

"Uh, no?"

"Then you definitely cannot help me." she plopped herself ungracefully next to Bo. For such an odd looking girl, she didn't smell bad.

"So," she fished a flask out her bra and for some reason Bo felt like laughing, "what's a pretty girl like you doing by her lonesome on such a lovely night?"

Bo arched a brow, "are you hitting on me?"

The girl scoffed and took a healthy-or not so healthy- gulp of her drink, "honey, I don't do subtle. If I was hitting on you, you'd know. I'm just trying to make conversation. You look depressed as shit and that stuff spreads through osmosis or something. I'm in no mood to be depressed tonight," she extended the flask, "vodka?"

"No thank you."

She shrugged, "great. I don't think there's enough to share anyway. So..."

"So what?" Bo asked eyeing her. She'd never seen her before, and in a town as small as theirs, that was odd. But then again, people from all over came to the town festival so it wasn't that odd to see a stranger tonight

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." She answered curtly.

The girl nodded, "boy friend troubles, huh?"

"What? No. And even if it was, it's none of your business."

"Girl friend trouble then." She went on as if she hadn't heard a word of what Bo had said.

The brunette paled. Was it written on her forehead that she was gay? Could everyone, even someone who'd known her for all of three seconds tell? Was she that obvious?

"I don't have a girlfriend." Her voice sounded weak even to her own ears.

"But you do have girlfriend troubles?"

"I just told you..."

"That you don't have a girl friend, I heard you. I also heard you denying that you have boyfriend troubles but not one word when I mentioned girl friend troubles." she smirked, "I'm L.A honey, deciphering shit is what we do."

Bo kept silent, she didn't know what to say. But she also didn't want to deny it. She didn't have to defend herself of feel ashamed of who she is in front of this girl who she didn't even know and didn't even matter to her.

So she kept silent.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." She said after a minute.

The blue haired girl nodded, went to take another sip of her drink then frowned when she realized it's finished, "stupid shit!" she threw the flask somewhere.

Bo laughed.

"It's not funny. That stuff was hella expensive and it didn't even get me tipsy. Shoulda stuck to beer."

There was silence for a while. Bo didn't know what to say. She hadn't really been raised to have conversations with people who constantly spoke their minds, it was a little unnerving.

"I had them once..." she sounded like she was musing. Bo frowned, the girl just got weirder by the second, "girl troubles I mean." she explained nonchalantly.

"You're gay?"

"Nah, I meant some girl tried to steal my man so I messed up her face. You know, girl troubles."

Bo couldn't help but laugh at that. The girl smiled. Maybe she wasn't so bad, maybe Bo could open up to her without fear of being judged. She looked worldly, like she had seen things, like she knew things.

Bo was just about to say something when someone else stumbled into the booth, someone who fate or luck or anyone who was in charge of fulfilling wishes must have sent.

"Lauren." You could practically hear the smile in Bo's surprised voice.

"Bo? I'm sorry. I didn't know- I- uh, hi?" She looked so adorably flustered that Bo could only stare at her.

She was here! On the night that Bo missed her so terribly, she was here. It's like she had wished her presence into reality.

"So you're trouble." Blue cut through the staring contest Bo and Lauren had been having. Bo had even forgotten that she was around.

"Sorry?" Lauren looked confused.

The girl smirked, "you sure do know how to pick 'em, Small Town."

It took a minute to register that 'Small Town' was her but when she did, Bo scowled at Blue, "don't call me that."

"Whatever," she turned to Lauren, "nice to meet you."

"You too." She smiled that charming smile that made people instantly want to be friends with her, "I'm Lauren." she extended a hand.

Blue looked at it like it was the oddest thing in the world then stood up and shook it, "I'm leaving." she picked her empty flask. "Really nice to meet you, Lauren." she said again "See you around, Small Town."

And before Bo could tell her not to call her that, she was gone.

And then there was two.

...

For someone who thought near constantly and almost obsessively about someone else, Bo surprisingly didn't have much to say to Lauren.

Or maybe that wasn't right. She had a lot to say to Lauren. She just didn't know what was appropriate or not. She felt like a kid on the first day of school. Scared but so entirely excited.

"She seems nice." It was Lauren who broke the silence.

Bo smiled at her, or just smiled because hadn't been having many moments that warranted smiling these days and she tried to maximize on the ones that presented themselves, "she seems crazy."

Lauren bit her lip so as not to laugh, Bo knew because she used to do that all the time when Bo said something funny but mean. She hated laughing at people, "crazy can still be nice."

Bo shrugged, "I guess."

Silence again.

Lauren shifted her weight from one foot to another subtly, Bo wondered if she went and just planted one on her at this moment, if it would be okay.

She wanted to kiss her so bad it kind of physically hurt a bit.

"Can I-" she pointed at the space Blue had occupied, "may I sit there?"

Really? Would it be such a bad thing if Bo just kissed the hell out of Lauren right now? "Yes you may." She tried to keep her voice light. Tried to keep the want out of it. She didn't need Lauren running for the hills.

"Thank you," she smoothed her dress softly as Bo got lost in the scent of her and balled her fists because god she wanted to kiss this girl, "so, how've you been?"

The question pulled Bo from her internal torture, she wet her lips unconsciously before answering, "ready."

Lauren hadn't been expecting that answer, "oh." was all she said.

Bo moved a little closer to her. If she couldn't kiss her at least she could get as much of her presence as much as she could, "I'm serious Lauren. I- I'm not perfect yet, I probably never will be. But I am so ready to be-"

"Bo."

"I'm sorry." She sighed, "I'm sorry."

Lauren sighed too. She looked at Bo's hand, then slowly, as if she was debating inside her head while doing it, she took it into hers, "no, I'm sorry. It's just a lot to take in."

"I know."

"But I'm happy that you're working on you, Bo. I'm really glad you're becoming the person you want to be. The person you're proud to be."

Bo felt her heart soar. She didn't know if it was because Lauren was willingly holding her hand, or if it was because of the blonde's words, but her heart was soaring so stupidly high it was a bit embarrassing, "really?" her voice sounded small.

Lauren smiled, that smile that she did more with her eyes than anything, "really." her voice was soft, affectionate and really, in all fucking honesty, it just couldn't be helped.

Bo molded their lips together for all of two seconds before they both pulled away.

"Bo," she let go of the brunette's hand, "Bo- what was that?"

Fuck! She had messed things up to epic proportions. She knew it.

"Shit. Lauren I'm sorry I don't know what-"

"I have to go." The blond stood up as if on auto-pilot.

Bo panicked "Lauren, please, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"I'll see you around," she said, her voice decidedly flat and Bo was at a loss on what to do, "goodbye."

"Fuck!"

And then there was one.

...

It was an impulsive, last minute decision.

She knew Lauren would be home by now and she missed her so fucking much. Work had been hell and she just- she needed a few hours where they were the only people in the in each other and she could get lost in Lauren's scent and eyes and just everything else that was solely her girl friend.

So instead of going home after work, she headed to Lauren's.

A smile on her face and excitement to hear what the festival had been like. Some people were still out, making noise and needing to be shot, in Tamsin's opinion.

All her excitement vanished when she entered her girl friend's bedroom and found Lauren seated on the edge of her bed, staring at her feet, looking for all the world like she was completely lost.

"Hey," she couldn't keep the panic out of her voice no matter how hard she tried. And she was trying. She was trying so hard not to jump to conclusions because as earlier stated, she wanted Lauren to tell her things, willingly.

Lauren looked up, her brown eyes nervous, "hi. I didn't hear you come in." The lightness in her voice was forced.

Tamsin panicked that much more, it couldn't be helped, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," a forced smile, "I'm great. Why?"

She was lying. That had never happened, Lauren had never lied to her.

Tamsin felt like she was getting sick from how high her panic levels were right now. It was so long since she'd felt like this, she had somehow forgotten how much the feeling fucking sucks, "are you- are you sure? You can tell me if you're not. We can talk about it."

It was an opening. An opening for her to say whatever it was she wanted to say before Tamsin lost her shit, or got sick, or lost her shit while getting sick.

God, even her emotions were confused.

"Tamsin, calm down," Lauren stood up to take Tamsin's hand, the taller blond stepped back.

"I'm calm."

"Tamsin-"

"You're lying to me. Whatever it is that's going on, you've seen it fit to lie to me about it, why?"

"It was nothing I swear. You don't have to be-"

"Lauren!"

"Bo kissed me."

For a second, Tamsin forgot how to breath.

They were supposed to be lying in bed after Lauren took a bath that she always smelt like coconuts and honey and everything amazing after taking. Tamsin was supposed to have her wrapped in her arms as she listened to tales of this stupid small town's people, pretending to be doing Lauren a favor by listening but really enjoying listening to Lauren's voice because the girl was the best story teller ever.

They were supposed to be lost in their little world. Not have it break right before Tamsin's eyes.

"What?" Was all she could breath out. Even her voice couldn't be trusted right now.

"It was nothing Tamsin I promise-"

"Did you kiss her back?" She asked like Lauren wasn't even talking at the moment.

"No."

"Really?"

"Tamsin!"

"Don't fucking Tamsin me, Lauren! I-" She ran her hands through her hair, "fuck!"

"Please calm down," she moved to take her hand again.

"Don't touch me right now, Lauren. Just don't."

"Tamsin, nothing happened it was-"

"She kissed you and you fucking let her! God! Do you- do you love her? Are you in love with her?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"That's not exactly a no, Lauren."

"Because I refuse to dignify that question with an answer! Bo kissed me, Tamsin. She's at a vulnerable place right now and it was one of those things that just happen. It didn't men anything."

"You haven't answered my question, Lauren. Do you love her?"

"You're not being fair." Lauren's voice was low.

Tamsin chuckled mirthlessly, "it's a simple yes or no question, Lauren."

"No, it's not. Things aren't as black or white as you want to make them out to be, Tamsin. But I'm here, I'm with you. I love you!"

"What are you-" then what Lauren said hit her, "what?"

The shorter blond stepped back, she looked so open, so scared, she looked like she hadn't meant to say what she said when she'd said it.

But it was out there and Tamsin wasn't about to let her take it back, "Lauren- please."

"I love you. I've wanted to say it at the right time, you deserved to hear it at the right time." She sounded dissapointed in herself.

The panic Tamsin had been feeling was replaced with something else, something she couldn't explain. No one had ever said that to her before. No one had ever looked like they meant something more than Lauren looked like she meant her words right now, "say it again." it was both a command and a plea.

"I love you." Lauren's voice was more certain now.

Tamsin took a step so that she was directly in front of her, "again. One more time."

Lauren smiled and placed her palm on Tamsin's cheek, "I love you."

Tamsin didn't know whether to laugh or cry or do what the fuck ever. She had no experience with this, she didn't know what you do after the girl you've given your heart to tells you she loves you. She'd never been loved, she didn't know what you do with it, "say-"

Lauren chuckled and kissed her on the cheek, lingering there for a moment, "I love you. And I'll say it as many times as you need me to."

Tamsin closed her eyes, she felt a little dizzy. Her emotions were all over the place. She'd gone from a full blown panic attack to being insanely angry to this. This feeling that she didn't know how to put in words but she loved either way.

It was a lot to take in. She needed a moment. Or maybe ten.

"I think I should go home and get some things."

She had everything she needed here, so Lauren knew Tamsin was running. She pulled back, she looked scared. Tamsin took her face in her palms, "I'm not running. I promise. I just- I need to sort my feelings out. You love me"

"Do you not-"

"No, no. I do. I certainly do." she smiled softly, that smile that she was only capable of giving to Lauren, maybe she wasn't handling this very well, she probably wasn't. She sighed, "I'll only be an hour at most. Get my emotions in order than I'll come back so we can talk."

Lauren nodded, understanding, "okay."

Tamsin smiled, kissed her then moved to the door. Before she could walk away though, she turned back and walked back to her girl friend, "one last time."

Lauren laughed, full and ungraded, "I love you."

Tamsin kissed her again, nodded, "I love you too." She said, then she left.

...

She'd never thought how it would feel, not in a long time, she hadn't thought what it would feel to be loved.

To know that someone out there, someone as amazing as Lauren, loved her.

It was a huge feeling to be associated with. It was the hugest feeling to be associated with. She wondered if she was even deserving of it. There was a reason no one, not even her own mother, had loved her.

She wasn't very good at being loved. Look at what she did right after Lauren had told her she loved her, she'd run away.

Instead of making love to that girl till tomorrow she had left to 'clear her head'

"Shit!" She felt like such an idiot. She felt sure Lauren would see it too at some point and retract her affections, she was sure she was on the verge of another freaking panic attack which was just what she needed.

"Tamsin, honey, just the girl I wanted to call!" Mrs Perkins yelled. All jovial and happy and lying because the woman did not own a phone and they both knew it.

She didn't even like technology. She didn't like much other than her cat. And only god knew why she liked that thing.

"Hi Mrs. Perkins." she wondered why the old one was looking fro her. Rent wasn't due yet and the two of them avoided talking as much as humanly possible. Tamsin didn't really do well with people, but she was at her worst with old ones.

"You have a guest." she smiled widely.

Tamsin frowned, "who?"

"Someone special. You know I always wondered honey. I wondered and worried but now it's all okay."

See, Old people speak was complicated as hell and Tamsin had enough on her mind without needing to understand Perkins talk. It was probably just Nadia coming to bitch about how Tamsin had treated her girl friend. Nadia had never been to her place but she was protective as shit of her little devil of a girlfriend. She probably asked around for Tamsin's address just so she could come bitch at Tamsin. Which really was the lat thing Tamsin needed.

She had to get back to Lauren. She didn't need people getting in her way, "thank you, Mrs. Perkins. I'll go talk to her now."

smiled at´and patted Tamsin's shoulder, "don't be scared, honey. It'll be fine."

Scared of Nadia? Was she insane?

She smiled anyway and walked into the building, thinking of a couple thousand ways she could get Nadia to shut up before she even started talking.

Or maybe, shit, maybe it was Bo. But Mrs. Perkins knew Bo, she would have told her if it was. She steeled her nerves anyway, just in case.

But no matter how hard she would have steeled her nerves, nothing could have prepared her for the person who was standing in front of her.

She forgot to breath, to think, she felt like she was going to be sick and faint both at the same time, "God no, please no-" was all she could say.

The woman smiled, "Hi honey."

Tamsin didn't know what to say, she was hoping she would wake up and she'd be at Lauren's after a few hours of making out and hearing her say I love you in that soft voice she reserved for such things.

She wished she was anywhere but here.

"You're not even going to greet me?"

"What are you-" god she was going to be so sick all over the place, "what are you doing here? How are you even here?"

"I searched for you. Did you think I wouldn't? You're my only child, Tamsin. Of course I searched for you."

Then she smiled.

Tamsin was actually certain she was going to vomit.