Cal-Tech is putting together a time capsule. All the faculty have been asked to contribute something to it. This is what Sheldon placed inside.

:Time Capsule:

I don't know what society is like for you, reader. I have no idea what the world will be like in 100 years (although I have some theories and a few hopes) when this time capsule is opened. I was asked to contribute and after a bit of pressure from my fiancé, I have agreed. I know my friends expect this to contain my best works, my favorite equations, and my list of accolades and awards. They are semi-wrong. I do want to tell you about my best and favorite. But it's not physics I refer to. It is a person.

Her name is Penelope Rene Queen. She was born December 9th 1983 in Omaha, Nebraska. She moved to Pasadena California when she was 18 to pursue a career in the film industry. I met Penny when she moved into the apartment across the hall from me and my roommate, Leonard Hofstadter.

I will be honest. At first I found her aesthetically beautiful, but annoying. She had no higher education, believed in a variety of flimflam and hokum, and seemed to own little in the way on decent apparel. She cared little for the rules and routines that maintained order in my life. She was disorganized, chaotic and messy. Everything I despised.

Yet, I could not avoid her in my life. Not because my roommate had an enormous crush on her. Not because he pursued and won her affections. Not because of her proximity to us. No, I found it difficult to avoid her because, in secret, I did not want to. She was a bright flame and I was a moth.

It was not her physical appearance, which was ethereal, that drew me. It was her heart. She cared deeply, truly, and with absolute compassion for those around her. I have never been an expressive person. I abhor emotional displays. There are few people who engender my empathy or affections. My Meemaw, my mother, and my siblings of course. And to a lesser degree Leonard, Howard and Raj, my friends. But Penny? She had the ability to elicit all of my emotions. She could annoy, anger, frustrate, confuse, and irritate me. She also could cheer, encourage, relax, amuse, arouse, and calm me.

I found myself making allowances for Penny that I refused to make for others. I made time for her that I would never have made for others, whether it was loaning her money, helping her make Penny-Blossom barrettes, or listening to her problems. Penny was an enigma to me. I did not understand her, and that, more than anything, kept me coming back those first couple of years.

Then I was introduced to Amy Farrah Fowler. She was highly intelligent, science oriented and amusing. We had a 'meeting of the minds' friendship. After a few months, Amy and I entered into a relationship. I can admit now, to you, it was not something I wanted. I did so because Penny said I should. I had asked Penny out on a date because I was jealous of Amy being on a date. Not because of romantic feelings for Amy, but because she had the courage to risk her emotions.

Even with my eidetic memory, I cannot tell you how long I have loved Penny. I do not know when I began to have feelings for Penny, because I did not realize that is what they were. I was convinced for a long time that I was above such things. I was so very wrong.

Anyway, back to my story. I entered into a relationship with Amy as Penny suggested. It wasn't much different from our friendship at first, with just the inclusion of 'date night'. That changed soon enough. Amy began to make demands on me, physically and emotionally. After a year, I was about to end the endeavor when Penny and Leonard began a second attempt at a relationship. So, I stuck with it. I had no reason to be single.

I won't bog you down with a lot of little details. Suffice it to say, both relationships were not beneficial. I can say that now, but at the time, while in the middle of them, it was difficult to notice. Think of it like being in an hourglass. A few grains of sand are barely noticeable at your feet. It's not until the sand is all piled up to your hips that you realize how deep you are, and how difficult it is to escape.

Penny and I both made a lot of compromises for our respective mates. We both allowed ourselves to be changed, adjusted and browbeaten. We gave up activities, hobbies, companionships, and each other. There were times when I would not see Penny for weeks at a time. Then when I would see her, it worried me. She was drinking more, smiling less and at times, seemed listless. I know she worried about me, also. How many nights did she message me, asking if I was okay? How many nights did she let me pour out my aggravations, via text? She tried. She offered advice, she explained, she encouraged. She tried everything she could to help me deal with my relationship.

Why did I never just walk across that small hall and tell her that it wasn't Amy I wanted, you ask? Because I am a coward. Because I feared rejection. Because I did not want to be left alone.

The day Amy and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary, Amy proposed we get engaged. She presented a detailed, logical argument for our marriage. As a scientist, I could not find any error in her proposal. As a man, I only had one argument against it. I did not love her. I could not love her. How could I tell her that, though? Despite my inability to love her, she is my friend. I do care for her. I asked for time to think about her suggestion. Before we could discuss anything else, Leonard and Penny entered the apartment.

Here, I shall go into greater detail. It is vital to me that you understand what happened. Leonard smiled happily and said hello to us. Penny was looking around the room, obviously annoyed. She was wearing that lovely pink dress that shows of her figure and tan nicely. Amy jumped from her seat and ran to Penny. She smiled widely and said she had great news. That she had pitched the idea of marriage to me and I was contemplating it, which in her mind meant 'yes'.

Leonard grinned widely and walked over to shake my hand. Penny just looked at me in a way I had never seen before. It was as if the light and joy that made her who she is blinked out of existence. I actually watched her eyes dim and become flat. Leonard was still shaking my hand, which was beginning to make me annoyed.

"I've asked Penny to marry me," he said loudly. "I told her not to answer me until morning, but in light of this," he turned to Penny and hurried over to her side, "what do you say to a double ceremony?"

I could feel the contents of my stomach sour and bubble. My skin lost what warmth it had. I wanted to run from the apartment, rather than hear her say yes.

"No."

Every one of us looked at Penny with surprise. Leonard gave her a weird, awkward giggle. "Oh, well, yes, I can see where separate ceremonies might be better."

Penny shook her head, her golden hair flying about her shoulders. "No. I won't marry you."

Leonard and Amy both gasped and looked devastated. Penny shoved her hair back from her face. She looked at me fully. It hurt to see the blank expression, the lack of emotion. She looked back at Leonard and sighed. "I love you. I just don't love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you. I tried to make this work. I tried to be who you want. But I'm not. And I never will be. I'm sorry, Leonard, but I'm breaking our Beta test off." She looked at a tearful Amy and smiled blandly. She leaned in and kissed Amy's cheek. Then she walked to me. My heart thudded as she moved in close. She leaned up and I automatically leaned down. She placed a soft kiss on my cheek as well. I barely heard her whispered words against my skin. "Forgive me."

Then she walked to the door. She paused and turned around, and then she gave a wide false smile. "Congratulations, Amy and Sheldon. I wish you the best." And then she was gone.

When I say gone, I mean gone. She left that night for her father's house in Nebraska. A week later, her dad and brother showed up with a moving van. They packed everything except a small box from her closet. She had asked her dad to give it to Bernadette, an anniversary present for her and Howard. That was four months ago. Since then none of the others have heard from her. She deactivated all her social media accounts and turned off her phone. I received only one text.

Sheldon, please understand I cannot live that life anymore. I am sorry to abandon you, but I know Amy loves you and will always be there for you. Goodbye, my dearest friend. I will never forget you.

I look at it often, when I am alone. Every day it seems as if I am sucked deeper into a whirlpool. I can fight the vortex for only so long before it pulls me under. Amy has almost finalized the plans for our wedding. She sent Penny an invitation and a request to be her maid of honor. It was returned today, with a note from Penny's father that she was out of the country with her aunt, and unable to attend.

Again, you may wonder why I do not break off the engagement and go after Penny? Penny has never given any indication she loves me. I am still a coward.

So, there you have it. My contribution to the time capsule for Cal-Tech, April 2013. The story of how I found and lost the only woman I truly love. If you have someone you love, tell them. Do not fall victim to your fears. Do not follow in my footsteps.

Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper

B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D.

Cal-Tech

Pasadena, CA