:Minion Mine:
Sheldon frowned as he looked at the small box in her hands. His mind quickly checked and then rechecked all the important holidays, a host of unimportant ones, and all anniversaries. No, he couldn't find a single reason why Penny would be standing in the middle of his apartment, holding out a brightly wrapped box with his name emblazoned on it prominently.
"Penny, you must be mistaken. That cannot possibly be for me. It is not my birthday, Saturnalia, or the thoroughly unnecessary "anniversary of our friendship" that you seem determined to celebrate. There is no possible reason for you to present me with a gift."
Penny narrowed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Across the room Howard, Bernadette, Raj, Leonard and Amy watched the two of them square off. Penny had arrived 7 minutes ago with a smile and a bounce in her step. Her first words had been "Sheldon, I have a surprise for you!". His first words had been "I don't want it.". From there things had quickly gone downhill.
"Sheldon, take the damn gift!" she spit out.
He crossed his arms over his chest and raised one eyebrow at her. "No."
Penny shoved it into his chest. "Damn it, Sheldon! I'm trying to be nice! I just wanted to give you a freaking gift! Why do you have to make this so difficult?"
Sheldon glared at her angrily. "I do not want, or need, whatever tacky, useless bauble you have brought me. So, take it away!"
Leonard and Raj scrambled down the hall and locked themselves in his room. Howard grabbed Bernadette and Amy's hands and pulled them down behind the table. No one wanted to actually see Penny go junior rodeo on Sheldon.
Sheldon watched smugly as Penny lowered the gift. He looked up, wanting to see his victory in her eyes. His jaw dropped as tears formed in her eyes.
Penny tossed the gift into the trash can by his desk. She turned and walked back out the door. She paused, her hand on the door handle. "I just wanted to make you smile," she said softly. Then she shut the door behind her.
Sheldon stared at the closed door, appalled that he had hurt Penny. Bernadette walked around the table and picked up the gift. She glanced at Sheldon before opening it up. She pulled the little doll out and looked at it with a smile. There was a little tag around it's neck.
Amy came closer and looked at it with confusion. "What is it?"
Sheldon looked over at the yellow figure with one eye. Bernadette read the tag aloud. "Every genius needs a minion." She closed the box and gently placed it back in the trash can. "It's a character from the movie Despicable Me. A cartoon about an evil genius who turns out to have a heart of gold. He has lots of little minions that run around helping him, and sometimes getting into trouble. This particular one is named Stuart, I think."
"Utterly useless," Sheldon muttered. He turned and walked back to his bedroom without another word.
Leonard had watched Sheldon carry the trash out the next day, the brightly wrapped box clearly visible inside the garbage bag. Eventually Penny got over her hurt feelings and things returned to normal on the fourth floor. No one ever mentioned the gift. Neither did anyone ever know that whenever he was sad or hurt, Sheldon would open the small safe in his room and stare at the little yellow doll. It always made him smile.
Inspired by a conversation with Jislane35, this may be the fastest I've ever written a story. I adore the minions. I love the Banana Song on youtube and have been known to sing it at work, much to the dismay of my coworkers.