:Sheldon's Theory:
(An AU take on The Fuzzy Boots Corollary)
"You could power down." Raj said with a smirk.
Sheldon was standing in the shower when he replayed the ridiculous conversation with Wolowitz and Koothrappali earlier. While he found the idea of being a robot highly appealing intellectually, he knew such a feat was unlikely. Modern technology was nowhere near advanced enough, yet.
Besides, what possible purpose would there be in creating a robot, and keeping it a secret? He frowned slightly. Well, besides nefarious reasons, that is. He rinsed the baby shampoo from his hair and paused. Actually, now that he thought about it, it would be quite a feat of engineering and intelligence. To create an artificial person, and have it be so realistic that no one could tell? That would be the greatest bazinga of all time!
Sheldon dried off absentmindedly. Of course his robot would be flawless. It would need to blend in with those around it without the slightest hint of suspicion. He would make it personable and friendly, capable of adapting to the people it came into contact with on a regular basis. He would make it aesthetically appealing to distract anyone from thinking it was anything more than flesh and blood. He would make sure it only displayed average intelligence to keep from arousing suspicions.
Sheldon grinned as he shaved. No one would be able to see through his ruse. His robot could collect information, spy on those around it, or even just manipulate them into situations he wanted them in, and no one would be the wiser. Sheldon brushed his teeth thoroughly and gargled. Yes, his robot would be absolutely undetectable.
He pulled on his pajamas and headed back to his bedroom. He was two feet away when the idea wormed it's way into his mind. Capable of adapting to those around it. Seemingly average intelligence. Aesthetically pleasing. Personable and friendly. His eyes widened. No.
No! It wasn't just improbable. This was impossible! It was inconceivable! It was… it was…. genius.
He spun around and hurried across the apartment. He flung open the door and took the three long strides across the hall. He took a deep breath and raised his hand.
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny."
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny."
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny."
The door opened and he immediately moved inside. He shut the door and circled her slowly. Penny frowned as she watched him. "Sheldon? What are you doing?"
"Fascinating," he murmured. He reached out tentatively and poked her shoulder and then ran a finger across her cheekbone. "Absolutely fascinating."
Penny smacked his hand away and glared. "What are you talking about?"
Sheldon grabbed her upper arms and drew her against his chest. He stared into her eyes with an expression usually reserved for new comics or Star Trek. Her eyes widened at the intensity with which he looked at her. She drew back from him firmly. "Sheldon, what is going on?"
"What is your power source?" he asked excitedly. "What is your primary function?"
Penny looked at him with confusion. "What's my what?"
Sheldon rolled his eyes. "There is no need to hide from me, Penny. I have figured it out. You are a cybernetic being. Who made you? For what purpose?"
"A cyber….," her eyes narrowed and she huffed angrily. "You think I'm a robot? Why the hell do you think that?"
He waved a hand at her. "It is obvious. You are beautiful, friendly, charming, and you seem to like being around my friends and I for no apparent reason. Why would you hang out with us if you were human? It makes no sense."
She ran a hand through her hair wearily. "Sweetie, did it never occur to you that I hang with you guys because I like you?"
Sheldon shook his head. "That makes no sense. Why would a beautiful woman with your friendliness concern herself with four nerds?"
Penny's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. "You know what? It's way too late to deal with this now. Goodnight, Sheldon."
She opened the door and firmly pushed him out into the hall. Sheldon glared as he heard her engage the dead bolt. He raised his hand to knock again but Penny's voice coming through the door stopped him.
"Go to bed, Sheldon! Or I'll punch you in the throat!"
He gave a startled "eep" and hurried across the hall. Really! She could at least have told him her primary function!