Hey! It's been a while! I hope you're all doing well. I was thinking hard about how to approach this chapter and I felt like this was the best thing to do. I don't want to the story to go by fast but I also don't want to unnecessarily prolong it! So that's why I feel like this chapter was pretty appropriate...Maybe?
Anyway! Here it is and I really hope you guys enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Warnings: Cursing. Boy on boy love my dudes. Violence.
Naruto believed that being frightened and scared were two different things. Two different definitions. Frightened, to Naruto, is when you're sitting quietly on your couch and your dog begins barking up a storm out of freaking nowhere and your heart jumps out of your chest. Scared is more of the action of not knowing what's about to happen but you know that it's probably bad, and dangerous.
And at this very moment, Naruto was scared.
Naruto admitted to himself long ago that Gaara scared him to a fault. But, between Gaara and Sasuke, Naruto was more scared of Sasuke, solely for the fact that he was always so calm. Naruto learned how to read Sasuke after a few years of always being around him, but that doesn't mean that the man sitting calmly in front of his was unpredictable.
Azure eyes lifted up to silently stare at the raven in front of him. It was a quarter past 9 and the café they were sitting in was going to close soon. Naruto spent that whole day explaining to Sasuke everything that happened after he left, and once he was done Sasuke sat there and just stared at him.
Calmly.
He was leaned back in his chair, his right leg nicely placed over his left, his arms crossed firmly against his chest as he sat there quietly. Black orbs staring at the blonde in front of him.
Naruto finally met Sasukes eyes after a few minutes went by, not knowing what to say. Honestly, he still doesn't know what to say but he couldn't stand the silence anymore because he knew nothing good was going through the Ravens head.
"…Sasuke?" Naruto spoke up quietly. Sasuke blinked, his hand reaching down to grab his 5th cup of coffee for the night. He took a sip, then placed it down onto the table, Naruto watching the motion hoping Sasuke will say something, anything.
"Can you give me a reason?" Sasuke started, startling Naruto with how calm he sounded as well. Naruto looked at him for a moment, his question finally making it to his brain.
"Reason? What… do you mean?" the blonde answered back, genuinely confused.
"A reason…for why I shouldn't go…" Sasuke picked up the cup of coffee again and took a sip, Naruto jumping a bit this time when Sasuke placed his cup down a bit harder than last time. The Raven looked up into Azure eyes as he said, "And kill this fucker,"
Naruto's eyes widened, the thought of him going resurfacing the nightmare he wished to forget. "Sasuke, please… I didn't tell you all of this to get you mad,"
"Did you really think I wouldn't get mad?" Sasuke continued to speak calmly, Naruto not liking it in the slightest.
"I mean-"
"Did you think I would just stay quiet and do nothing?"
"Sasuke-"
"Naruto," Sasuke's tone making Naruto go quiet and look at the man sadly.
"I don't understand. How could you stay with someone like that? Someone who constantly hurts you. Physically and emotionally," Sasuke leaned forward and put his head in his hands. He didn't know what to feel. Or more like he was feeling so much he wished he didn't know how to feel. He felt bad for the blonde. Everything that has happened to him is partly his fault. Anger towards the red head, knowing that Naruto wouldn't let him kill him. Less on the hurting Gaara but more on the fact that he didn't want Sasuke to go to jail for murder. But Sasuke could think up a few ways to make it look like an accident.
But he kept that thought to himself.
Sasuke was brought out of his list of accidental murders when Naruto called out his name making the raven look up at him to see that Naruto was squinting at him, Sasuke knowing full well that the blonde probably already knew what he was thinking about. Sasuke let out a sigh as he leaned back once again on his chair.
"I get it. You're angry. And I know your hatred for Gaara literally just intensified within the long hours of my story. But I didn't tell you because I wanted you to go fight him or something. I told you all this because I missed you and I wanted to tell you what has been happening," Naruto started. "I told you this because I knew you'd listen and just…be there for me…" Naruto said quietly as he stared down at his wedding ring, Sasuke's confession still playing at his head.
Naruto never in his life expected for Sasuke to just come out and say that he loves him. The man being too prideful to show his feelings, of course, only when it's romantic. Sasuke has no problem showing people he's angry, knowing full well it makes him look intimidating.
But that's beside the point.
The blonde had no idea what to do.
He was doing a good job by not showing how extremely happy he was that Sasuke had said the 3 words he's been wanting to hear from the raven ever since he fell for him. But he was also scared because he couldn't help but think what it would be like if he did get together with Sasuke. Would he treat him the same way Gaara does? Would he have to leave his friends again just to make Sasuke happy? Naruto has never seen the Raven in a relationship so who's to say that he'd be any different. He didn't want to leave Gaara just to be treated the same way-
Naruto halted his thoughts.
What?
Narutos eyes widen as he looked at his wedding ring.
What the hell was I just thinking?
Leave Gaara?
Would I do that?
What are you doing with him? Don't you love me?
Naruto stood up quickly, that terrible nightmare coming back to raid his mind. Sasuke looked up at him a bit startle by his actions.
"Naru-"
"I have to go now," Naruto stated without lifting up his head to look at Sasuke. Said man stood up and walked over to Naruto making sure not to touch him. "Naruto what's wrong? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. It's getting late so I should really head back now. I have papers to write for class, so I should go," Naruto stated as he turned and started walking off. Sasuke quickly took out his wallet as he yelled for Naruto to hold on, dropping a twenty onto the table before following the blonde out. Sasuke grabbed onto Narutos arms pulling him towards him, forcing the blonde to turn around. Angry Ebony slowly turned concerned when met with Azure ones that were holding in tears.
"Naruto why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?"
"No…" Naruto said quietly. "You did nothing wrong…Everything is my fault. Everything that's happened to me is my fault. Everything bad that's going to happen is my fault," Naruto rambled.
"Where is all this coming from? Naruto what's going on with you?" Sasuke calmly grabbed onto Narutos shoulder, not really knowing what he should do. Naruto had his head down again, Sasuke wondering what exactly was going on with Naruto.
"Naruto. I'm here for you. You can talk to me…" Sasuke said as he wrapped his arms around Narutos waist and pulled him in for a hug, the boy tensing in his arms. Sasuke rubbed his back, remembering what his mother would do to him as a child when he was mad or sad whenever Itachi stood him up. He let out a sigh of relief when Naruto laid his head on the crook of his shoulder, telling him that he was a bit calmer now. He raised his hand up to slide his hand through soft blonde locks.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Sasuke asked quietly. He was glad it was pretty late, so there weren't that many people on the streets.
"I had a nightmare…" Naruto started quietly, Sasuke grunting telling Naruto he was listening. "Gaara said I betrayed him. And whenever I tried to explain he would keep saying I didn't love him. He said that if he couldn't have me no one can…And when I turned around…" Naruto breathed in to let out a shaky sigh, Sasuke feeling his shirt getting a little damp telling him that Naruto was crying again.
"You were on the bed…Dying…Gaara killed you… And I was so scared, because it felt so real. And then Gaara was going to kill me but I woke up,"
"Naruto. It's just a nightmare. None of it is true," Sasuke soothed. Naruto shook his head. "You don't understand," Naruto continued as he pulled away from Sasuke, the raven already missing the contact but reluctantly let Naruto go. "It scares me because Gaara would actually do it. And the thought of you dying.. Because of me…I just.." Naruto couldn't finish his sentence; the words being caught in his throat.
"He's not going to get me. And if he does you and I both know I wouldn't go down without a fight," Sasuke reassured as he grabbed onto Naruto's face and lifted it so that he can wipe away his tears. "No… No I don't want you fighting for me. I don't want anyone fighting for me," Naruto removed Sasukes hands from his face and started to breath heavily. Sasuke knew that Naruto was going to hyperventilate if he didn't calm him down. "Naruto listen to me. Everything is going to be fine, okay? Look at me," Sasuke grabbed onto his face and moved down so that they were at eye level. "I promise that nothing bad will happen, okay?" Sasuke reassured a final time, sighing in relief when Naruto looked like he was calming down.
After a few moments of silence and Naruto breathing in and out to calm himself he grabbed onto Sasukes hands that were still placed on his face and slowly removed them. "How…How far do you live? It's getting pretty late and I'd feel bad if I made you walk home after all this," Naruto let go of Sasuke's hands who stood back up to his normal height. "I'll drive you home," Naruto said as he turned to walk towards his car, not really giving Sasuke the opportunity to answer. Sasuke followed him, leaving a few spaces between them knowing Naruto wanted some space.
After a few minutes of walking they finally reached the car, Naruto unlocked the door and got into the drivers' seat, Sasuke doing the same on the passenger seat. The blonde took out his phone and opened the maps app, giving it to Sasuke who got the hint and took his phone, putting in the address as the driver started up the car. Sasuke held onto the phone while it gave Naruto the directions on how to get to his lodging, the two not speaking to each other the whole ride there.
A few minutes passed, Sasuke not living that far from where they were and Naruto stopped his car, putting it in park when he reached their destination. Sasuke handed back Naruto his phone, the boy taking it as he started to fidget with it. The Raven couldn't take the silence anymore and decided to break it, not wanting the night to end terribly since they were doing somewhat okay.
"Naruto," the blonde slightly twitched, telling Sasuke that he heard him. "Are you alright?"
Naruto didn't answer him, just shrugged hoping that that was a good enough answer for the man in the passenger seat. Of course it wasn't. Sasuke sighed in return, unbuckling his seat belt to turn his body towards the blonde. "Naruto. If something is bothering you, you can tell me,"
"I've tried that already and you got mad," the blonde whispered underneath his breath in distaste, Sasuke hearing it since they were only inches apart. "I have a right to get mad when some shit head is treating you like garbage,"
"That "Shit Head" is my husband, and I'd be grateful if you stopped talking bad about him," Naruto closed his eyes in a huff. The raven slid his hand over his face in agitation, trying to figure out what's it going to take to pull Naruto out if this weird trance. "Just tell me…. Tell me why you are still with him,"
"I told you. He needs me. Without me he's nothing. I'm his sun," Naruto whispered as a matter of factly. "And who's to say he can't find another sun?" Naruto turned his head to stare daggers at Sasuke. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but he's saying all these things to keep you bounded. You're his "Saviour", his "Sun". He's giving you a God complex so that when he does something bad and you so much as rethink your relationship, he calls you this and sucks you right back in because you genuinely think that he can't live without you," Sasuke explained, holding in the anger he wants to let out.
"That's not true,"
"It is. He's been doing this for so long that you can't even think for yourself anymore. He runs your life when he's here, and when he's not,"
"That's not true,"
"Then tell me Naruto Uzumaki. What do you want?"
"What?" Naruto looked at the man quizzically. "What do you want? Pretend, for just a second, that you aren't married to the bastard. If you could ask for anything right now, what would it be? What do you want?" Sasuke edged him on, seeing the inner turmoil in those blue eyes he adores. He hates playing these mind games with Naruto but he's really trying to figure out how to save the boy. A few seconds went by and Naruto has yet to answer, telling Sasuke all he needed to know.
The raven sighed as he turned to open the car door, Naruto quickly looking up at him as if he was surprised by the action. "Thank you for driving me home, Dobe. I really appreciate it," He said as he got out of the car, turning once more as he lost himself in the sea. "Are you…Are you mad at me?" Naruto asked just above a whisper. Ebony eyes watched as blue orbs looked at everything but him, clearly awaiting his answer. After a long pause, Naruto's eyes finally stopped on him, the two staring at each other in a painful silence.
"Not mad," Naruto felt a bit a relief, but he knew Sasuke wasn't done talking. "Just a bit of disappointment of whom you've become at the moment," Sasuke shook his head. "The Naruto I fell in love with obviously doesn't exist anymore. The Naruto I knew, he always wanted something, and strived to get it no matter what," Naruto stared as he saw the rarest of loving smiles that could ever caress Sasuke's face, his heart skipping a beat because the reason he was smiling like that was because of him. Or the him he used to be. His heart dropped when that smile disappeared, and cold ebony orbs stared at him. "But the one I see in front of me? His eyes show me that they've given up. And personally, I don't like this Naruto. The one who can't even tell me what he wants to do. The Naruto I knew would easily have answered "I want to live a peaceful life and help others," Naruto's eyes widened, knowing that that is something he used to tell everyone as he was growing up. He turned his eyes away from Sasuke, for some reason looking at him now was becoming painful, afraid of what he was going to say next.
"But how could he possibly help others if he can't even help himself?"
That hurt. Naruto had to admit that what Sasuke said had extremely hurt, the blonde using all of his will not to burst into tears because as much as he hated to admit it, Sasuke was right. He was so right, and Naruto couldn't deal with that fact. He couldn't even begin to remember when he started to lose himself. He didn't want to think about.
Naruto let out a shaky breath as he turned back towards Sasukes' calculating eyes. "It's getting late. Thank you for hearing me out tonight. I'll see you on Monday," Naruto smiled weakly. Sasuke nodded. "Get home safely," was the last thing the raven said before closing the car door and making his way to the front of his place. He turned around one last time to watch Naruto start up his car again and leave from his spot. A sigh left his lips as he unlocked his door and made his way inside, hoping that this was the small push Naruto needed.
::+::
The drive home was nerve wreaking. Naruto's thoughts going between everything Sasuke said and everything he already knew. The blonde laid on his couch, dead to the world as he stared up at the ceiling. Shit, he huffed to himself, tears threating to fall once again. I don't get it. All these years I've felt like I've been the same. Like nothing about me has changed, the tears fell down his cheeck, the male scoffing at his thoughts. Who am I kidding. I knew I changed. I just didn't want to admit it. Because if I did then that means I've lost, he threw his arms over his face, the tears coming down faster as he silently sobbed to himself.
I can't do this…I can't do this anymore. Sasuke's right. Everything he said was right. But I can't just leave Gaara. If I leave he'll be devastated. If I leave he'll come looking for me…, Naruto sniffed at that, one of his arms now placed over his stomach as he looked at the ceiling then closed his eyes. "If I leave he'll kill me…," he said softly in the small room. He lifted up his right hand to look at the golden band on his ring finger, his puffy but now calculating eyes looking at the thing that bounded him and Gaara. He leaned up, throwing one of his legs over so that it touched the floor, bringing his hand down to continue looking at the piece of jewelry.
Sasuke has been fucking with my mind ever since he got here. He didn't even have to do much but everything I've believed in is slowly crumbling, he went to grab the ring but then stopped himself, snippets of that terrible nightmare coming back into his mind. "I can't," he told himself. "I can…," He grabbed onto the ring. "I can't," he squinted at no one in particular. "I can…," Naruto slowly slid the ring up. "I can't," his fingers stopped, the ring sliding back down into place. His eyes watched the golden ring slide down, his fingers wrapping onto it as he pulled it up once again slowly, hating that he couldn't feel the piece of jewelry with his left hand. Naruto being reminded that the reason for that was Gaaras fault.
As if on que, his phone started to ring, he looked down at the coffee table in front of him, his fingers still on the ring when he saw that Gaara, after so long, was calling him. It felt like minutes passed by as Naruto just stared at his phone, but he knew it was probably a few seconds. He let go of his ring and picked up the phone, sliding the phone to answer it. He waited a few seconds before putting it to his ear when he heard Gaara call his name.
"Hey, love. How are you?" Naruto spoke with a small smile on his face. "I feel like it's been forever since we talked. Why didn't you try to call me?" Gaara didn't sound angry but Naruto knew there was a bit of malice to that statement. "You're away for a meeting. I don't know when's a good time to call you. If I call you, you might be in a meeting or something and I wouldn't want you to look unprofessional in front of your peers now, would we?" Naruto explained as he continued to look at the ring. There was silence on the other line for a few seconds before Gaara spoke up again.
"Naruto…Are you okay?"
"Hm? I'm fine why?" Naruto chuckled. "You just sound off. Is there something you're hiding from me?" Naruto laughed a bit at that. "It's not like I can hide anything from you. You said it yourself. There are people keeping tabs on me. I wouldn't want to do anything that could possibly get you angry. But forget that. How are you? How's the meeting going?"
"It's terrible. I hate it here and I want to go home and be wrapped in your arms," Gaara gave Naruto the satisfaction of changing the subject. "But I have good news for you,"
"Oh?" Naruto looked at the ring quizzically as if he was looking at Gaara directly. "The meeting. Looks like it's wrapping up. And if all goes good tomorrow, I might be home early," Naruto smiled a loving smile at that. "Really? You'll be home soon?"
"Monday or Tuesday the latest,"
"That is good news. And if that's the case it'll mean that the treaty will be made right?"
"You're a smart boy," Gaara was cut off by something, Naruto hearing incoherent mumbling noises in the background. He could tell Gaara must have covered his phone because he suddenly sounded muffled too. "Sorry about that. What was I saying?" The red heads clear voice boomed from the phone.
"Who was that?" Narutos interest was piqued. Why did he have to cover the phone? He asked himself as Gaara answered. "It was no one important,"
"Didn't sound like someone not important. Are they from work?"
"I told you they don't matter," Naruto could hear Gaara starting to get angry. "If it's not important then why won't you tell me?" Naruto suddenly also felt enraged. "I don't get it. Whenever I'm with someone I have to explain myself thousands of times to you, but the one time I question who you're with, who you're talking to, you just shove away my question like my feelings don't matter," Naruto glared down at the ring. "I told you it was no one so why don't you just fucking drop it?"
"Because it's not fair!" The blonde stood up at that. "Every day you pester me about my loyalty to you but now when I ask to make sure you aren't doing anything behind my back, I seem like the bad guy?! Gaara just tell me who that was!" Naruto cried. "Naruto," Gaara seethed. "Now is not the time for your bullshit. If I tell you it's nothing then it's nothing," He explained. "If it was really nothing you would just answer the damn question," Naruto spat back.
"You think just because I'm away you can talk back to me like this? You better know your place. I have to go, but just know we will be speaking words when I get back. And don't think you can get out of it," Naruto listened as the call went dead. His hand with the cellphone falling to the side as he stared at nothing, but his eyes looking like he's found a resolve.
His phone vibrated and he looked to see that he got a message from asking if he can babysit tomorrow. He quickly sent off an okay and made his way to the bedroom, the boy wanting to take a warm shower.
After his shower he sat on the bed for a couple of minutes, staring at the wall and the conversation he had with Gaara. He didn't know why he got so angry, all he knows is that he felt extremely annoyed that Gaara wouldn't tell him who that was. Naruto thought it was jealousy but after he calmed down in the shower he realized that it wasn't that. Not in the slightest. He was just…irked. Irked because Gaara had put him through so much shit for being "Unfaithful" and the one time he questions him of his faithfulness, it's suddenly a problem. And that genuinely irritated Naruto.
How can you help others if you can't even help yourself?
Sasuke's words wrung through Narutos head. He was right. Naruto had to help himself firs. He didn't know how but he knew that he couldn't keep doing this. The Gaara he loves isn't the Gaara he fell for those few years back and he knew the man had a problem. He'll be back soon and he knew that nothing good was going to happen. I have to fix this…, the blonde thought to himself. He yawned, sleep pulling at him fast. He crawled onto the bed and laid down, throwing the covers over himself. He lifted up his right hand once more to look at his ring. "I can fix this," Naruto said to himself in a determined whisper, the boy falling asleep, but not before taking off his ring and placing it on the nightstand.
::+::
"Are we going to ask?" Hosei whispered towards his companion Ami. The girl staring in the same direction as Hosei. They both watched as Naruto was sitting in front of a canvas, humming to himself with a smile on his face. This is how they remember Naruto being when he first came here, but that wasn't what surprised them. Their eyes were glued to Narutos left hand, a certain piece of jewelry not being where it should be.
"I…I don't know… Would it be rude to ask?" Ami whispered back, the two of them truly confused as to what was happening. "Did they get a divorce? Or…" Ami left the question opened.
Naruto knew that people were looking at him strangely. He knew why too. But he didn't care. He's tired of not thinking for himself. Sasuke was right. He wasn't the same Naruto he was back in the days and he was going to change that. He knew there was going to be a storm coming soon and he'll deal with it when it got here.
"How was class Naruto?" Hosei asked, hoping he can ease into the question they wanted to ask. "It was fine. Just lecture after lecture. We had a quiz today, caught me off guard," the blonde started. "But I think I did good. I hope I did good," Naruto laughed after the last part. "Are you feeling okay?" Ami spoke up from beside Hosei. At that Naruto stopped painting and looked over to them. Seeing their questioning gaze. He sighed and dropped his paintbrush into one of the cups on the side. "I'm fine. And this time I mean it," Naruto smiled. "I've come to realize that the way I was living wasn't…right…," Naruto chuckled to himself and stood up, walking to stand in front of his friends.
"Thank you for putting up with me for so long. I know I didn't deserve it," Naruto softly smiled. "What? Naruto, no," Ami started as she hugged the man. "You are one of the sweetest guys I know. I could never give up on you," Ami let go of him and grabbed onto his hands, looking into his ocean blue eyes. "You fought for us Naruto. Even when that bastard told you to stop hanging out with us, you told him you wouldn't because we were your friends. You didn't give up on us," Ami smiled up at him. "So we couldn't give up on you," Naruto smiled at her, a sigh of relief leaving his lips.
"But.. What about… Ya know…" Hosei spoke skeptically from the side making Naruto let out a shaky sigh. "I think…he's cheating on me…maybe…," Naruto whispered the last part but the two in front of them heard him loud and clear. "What?" Hosei spoke up in disbelief. "I don't want to believe it really," Naruto started as he let go of Ami's hands, turning towards his chair to sit down as he continued his statement. "But the other day he called, and I heard someone in the background. When I asked him who it was he got angry. And that made me angry because I always have to explain myself to him. I yelled at him, he yelled at me, and we ended the conversation on a bad note," the blonde sighed in defeat. "He might be coming back sometime today or tomorrow," he added as an afterthought.
"So soon? I thought he's supposed to come back Thursday," Ami crossed her arm and puckered her lips in distaste. "Everything went well and he has no reason to stay there," Naruto turned in his seat to look at his painting.
"Well then…What are you going to do?" Hosei asked as he pulled up a chair and sat next to Naruto. The man stayed silent. Thinking about all his options. "I dunno…" was his only reply.
"Gaara isn't going to take well to what you're doing Naruto. Are you going to be alright?" Naruto looked up with a weak smile when Ami tapped his shoulder in comfort. "I'm sick and tired of feeling the way I feel," the blonde started. "It's been 5 years since I've been with Gaara. And he's just…not the same person I fell in love with," Naruto shook his head with a sigh. "Before I was going out with him, I could think for myself. I knew what I wanted and would do anything to get it…" Naruto started as he fidgeted with the end of his cardigan. "But Sasuke made me realize something when we were talking on Saturday," Naruto paused as he looked at the ground for a quick second before continuing his story.
"He asked me what I wanted… And for some reason I couldn't answer him. He told me that I wasn't the same. That the Naruto he once knew would be able to answer that question in a heartbeat. But I couldn't answer that. I could think about what Gaara wanted… And I… I hated that. I hated the fact that I couldn't think for myself. I want to help other people. I want to teach children," Naruto silently ranted. "I want to see my Mom and my friends back in Konoha," Naruto whispered the last part, his friends hearing him, the two of them looking at each other in sadness and worry.
"And when I realized that those are the things I wanted to do the most… and the person holding me back is my own husband," Naruto chuckled to himself. "I just knew that Sasuke was right. This isn't love," Naruto finished.
The room was quiet for a bit, the only sound being the ticks and tocks of the clock on the wall. "Do you still love him?" Ami spoke up quietly, removing her hand from the blondes shoulder and crossed her arms as she looked down at him. Naruto let out a nervous chuckled and replied, "I don't know…"
"I don't hate him," He added. "Or more like I can't hate him,"
"Even after everything he's done to you?" Hosei finally spoke up, confused as to how he couldn't hate the man. "I know he's done so much wrong but they were my fault,"
"No it wasn't!" Hosei yelled. "Naruto! Everything that has happened to you wasn't your fault! Your burned hand! Your broken arm! Your state of mind?! None of it was your fault! It was all his fault! He couldn't deal with the fact that you were liked by other people so he did everything in his power to keep you in his grasp knowing full well no one would go against him!" The man stood up and yelled, Naruto shook his head in denial.
"He trusted me. And now that I think about it. It's probably my fault Gaara has become so paranoid," Hosei was about to yell at the blonde again but Ami stopped him when she put her hand on his chest and shook her head. She looked down at the blonde once more and asked "What do you mean?"
It took a second for Naruto to recollect himself before answering, "You wouldn't be able to tell because of how perfect he looks from the outside, but Gaara's upbringing wasn't the best. His father hated him. Tried to kill him on multiple occasions. His only family is afraid of him. He never really understood what love is. But then I showed him what it could be and it was perfect. I really loved seeing him smile…," Naruto started. "He wasn't always this bad. He never…hurt me that bad until after something that happened 3 years ago. Gaara was already the jealous type. He made sure no one came near me, but I reassured him so many times that I only had eyes for him so he finally started to let up. I promised that he was the only one I loved and that I would never do anything to hurt him," Naruto continued as he looked at his painting. "There was a time during the end of the school year where my friends and I went to the hot springs, and Gaara came along with us. I wanted him to hang out with my friends since they would have to get used to each other eventually,"
"Sometime during the night Gaara was sleeping and I left to go take a walk and I had come across one of my friends, the first person I ever really loved," Naruto looked down at this part, Hosei looked at him sadly, knowing full well who he was talking about. "We were talking and I was explaining that I do love Gaara, but I'd be happier with him, and before I knew what was happening he leaned in and kissed me. Told me to leave Gaara and be with him," Naruto rubbed his arms as the memories of that night began to creep up slowly into his mind. "And before I could answer him, Gaara called out to me. He saw it. He saw me kiss someone else that wasn't him," Naruto let out a breathy sigh. "And the worst part is that I felt like shit. I felt so bad because if Gaara didn't appear at that time, if he didn't drag me away and let me answer…," Naruto paused and looked up at Ami, the girl looking down at the boy who clearly wanted to shed some tears but knew he was holding it in.
"I would have said yes," The trio turned their heads when they heard the door open, a pair of calculating Ebony eyes meeting those of fading Azure. Naruto stood up in shock when he saw Sasuke walk in, his eyes growing wider when he saw a pair of emerald Green staring at him in shock, disgust and what he knew as hatred.
"Sa…Sakura?"
::+::
Sasuke was sitting in class, none of the words his professor spat made it to his mind. All he was thinking about was everything he and Naruto had talked about on Saturday. The things he told the blonde after he was dropped off by him still fresh in his mind. After he had gone inside his apartment all he could think was if he did the right thing to edge Naruto on like he did. He knew it wasn't the greatest of his ideas but Sasuke was actually desperate. He knew it could hurt Naruto but he just wanted the Naruto he knew back. Not the one that changed for Gaara. He had sat on his couch, going over his actions and decided that he would call his brother and tell him everything that has happened. Itachi gave him an earful on why that was probably a bad Idea, but Shisui, surprisingly, had told the ravenette that that might have been the best approach.
"When someone loses themselves the best thing to do is show them what you liked about the. They might not have loved the person they used to be, but reminding them of their best qualities show that you paid attention to them. It shows them you care,"
After the call, those words repeated themselves inside of Sasukes head, ways of helping Naruto appearing one by one. Sasuke came out of his thoughts when he heard the professor clap his hands telling him the class was over. He sighed to himself, grabbing his bag and throwing his stuff into it before throwing it over his shoulder and walking down. He looked at his watch and saw that it was close to two in the afternoon, his thoughts going to Naruto who was probably in the art room. With a pivot of his feet he made his way out of the classroom and made his way towards the art room. He started to think how the program for him to stay here was almost over, wondering if he can bribe the professor into letting him stay a few more days if Naruto still hasn't decided to leave Gaara. At the thought he stopped walking and squinted at no one.
Would he leave Gaara?
Sasuke stared at the ground in distaste, not really knowing how to feel about it. No, he knew how he felt about it, but if he were to think about it, he knew he wouldn't be able to control all the hatred that left his body. He breathed in and let out a small sigh through his nose. Sasuke was confident. He was going to take Naruto back, even though he was never mine, Sasuke shook his head and continued walking. He turned the corner and stopped when he saw a head of pink, a group of guys surrounding them. He already knew who it was, and frankly he didn't care. Not wanting to be seen by the other he turned on his feet and headed back in the direction he came, knowing another way to get to the art room, but just to his luck, that voice he dreaded spoke his name in that annoying high pitched voice. He continued walking, hoping that she would get the picture, but he was an idiot to think that.
"Sasuke!" the girl yelled as she pushed aside the guys and ran towards him, grabbing onto his arm so that the man was forced to stop. The ravenette huffed in annoyance and turned to look down at those expectant green eyes he's known for a long time. "Sakura," he spoke, his voice lacking any emotions. "What are you doing here?" Sasuke pulled his arm back from Sakura's grip, not wanting anyone to think wrongly of their interaction. Sakura smiled densely, knowing Sasuke only did that because he never really liked it when other people touched him.
"I'm here on a favor for Lady Tsunade!" She chipped while clapping her hands behind her back. She started to explain herself when she saw a perfect brow raise up in a questioning gaze. "You see, I had asked Lady Tsunade if it was possible to see how the Nursing classes are ran here. You know, getting a different perspective and whatnot. She told me since I wanted to come here to check it out, if I could buy some things for her that can only be sold here. She said she would come here herself, but she was really busy with paperwork," Sakura giggled.
"I see. Well I'm sure you have a long day ahead of you, so I'll leave you to it," Sasuke nodded as he walked passed her, no need for him to take the other route now that his plan of not wanting to be seen was ruined. "Ah! Wait! The classes I want to observe are being held tomorrow! So I'm free until then!" Sakura yelled after him as she scurried to catch up with his long strides. "Then shouldn't you go buy those things needed of Lady Tsunade?" he grunted.
"Well…I came looking for you…because I thought maybe we could catch up. It's been lonely without you. I thought we could look for the things together?" the pink haired girl blushed as she twirled her fingers in embarrassment. "If that's the case, you should go find a local so that they can help you," the Raven sighed. "Aw, you're shy of people thinking we're a couple if they see us? It's okay! I don't mind!" Sakura giggled to herself, not noticing the dark look that was slowly creeping onto Sasukes face.
The Uchiha was glad that he finally made it in front of the room, maybe if she saw Naruto she would leave since he knew how much the pink haired girl didn't like him, but before he could pull the door open, he was stopped by what he heard. It was faint, but he knew that Naruto was talking.
"Sometime during the night Gaara was sleeping and I left to go take a walk and I had come across one of my friends, the first person I ever really loved," Sakura looked up Sasuke with a questioning look, wondering why he was just standing there, the man himself silently staring at the door, his hand held onto the doorknob but no motion was made to open it. "We were talking and I was explaining that I do love Gaara, but I'd be happier with him, and before I knew what was happening he leaned in and kissed me. Told me to leave Gaara and be with him," Sakura snapped her head to the door when she heard the name of the red haired man, realizing now what was happening. Naruto was inside. Sasuke was listening to what Naruto was saying, and Sakura was realizing that he was retelling the story of what had happened that night 3 years ago.
"And before I could answer him, Gaara called out to me. He saw it. He saw me kiss someone else that wasn't him. And the worst part is that I felt like shit. I felt so bad because if Gaara didn't appear at that time, if he didn't drag me away and let me answer…," there was a silent pause and Sasuke couldn't stop his heart from beating the way it was, he could hear the soft sob coming from the blonde and he wanted to barge in and hug him, but he wanted to hear what he was going to say next. He wanted to hear those words he wished Naruto had said three years ago. Sakura was staring at the door in shock. Was Naruto basically saying that he was in love with Sasuke? Her Sasuke? Her face slowly started turning into that of disgust. Who the hell does he think he is? He already has Gaara. Why in the hell did he need to have Sasuke too?! These thoughts ran through her head, her face finally settling on that of hatred as she listened to the last thing Naruto said before she glared at the door in disgust once more.
"I would have said yes," the quiet voice finally spoke, and with no warning Sasuke opened the door and stared at Naruto, the angry pink haired girl watching as Naruto stood up in shock. She watched as Sasuke strode in, those blue Azure eyes she hated so much turned to look at her when he noticed her, his eyes widening in shock.
"Sa…Sakura?"
The pink haired girl put on the fakest smile she could muster and walked in, the corner of her lips twitching when Sasuke grabbed Naruto and hugged him.
"Sa-Sasuke! What are you doing?" Naruto asked flustered by the mans actions. "You're such an Usurantonkachi," Sasuke whispered into his ears. "How…How much did you hear?" Naruto didn't know what to do with his hands so he kept them at his side, his eyes wondering over to the extra figure near the door, hesitant Azure meeting emotionless emerald green. He averted his eyes and looked at the ceiling, not liking the way Sakura was looking at them.
"I should have just taken you away from him when I had the chance. I'm an idiot," Sasuke finally removed himself from Naruto, the raven looking down into those ocean orbs he loved so much. "I'm sorry. None of this would have happened if I had just recognized my feelings for you in time. I was selfish and made a mistake and things could have been different if I had just…" Naruto lifted up his left hand to touch Sasukes cheeck, a small smile placed on his lips as he shook his head. "It's not your fault. If anything…we're both at fault. If I didn't...jump to conclusions and just told you how I felt a lot of things could have been avoided…" Sasuke lifted his hand and placed it on Naruto's, moving it away when he realized a piece of jewelry was missing. He looked at his ring finger in awe, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Naruto-" "We can talk about it later. In private…" Naruto whispered low enough so only he could hear.
"Am I missing something here?" Ami whispered to Hosei, the boy shaking his head in annoyance with the oblivious art freak next to him. Ami looked to the side and finally realized that there was another party in the room and gasped, bringing everyone out of the awkward atmosphere. "Do we have another new member?!" she ran up to Sakura and grabbed her hands in joy, moving them up and down. "Oh, today is a good day! So much good news is being shared. What's your name stranger?! What are your skills?" Ami bombarded the pink haired girl with questions, Naruto and Sasuke turning to look at them, Hosei sighing to himself for the second time today.
"My name is Sakura," she started as she snatched her hands away from the strange girl. "And I'm not here to join whatever…this is," She grunted as she looked around the room to see different assortments of paintings and drawings, her hand flailing around for emphasis. "No need to be rude about it," Ami huffed as she crossed her arm and sized the girl up. "Then why are you here? No point in coming into the room then if you have no business here," She glared at the girl, not liking her attitude. She turned to the side when someone tapped her shoulder and saw a Chuckling Naruto, the man finding Ami's antics amusing. "She's with us," Naruto explained.
"What?" Ami let down her arms and turned to the blonde. "She's an old friend from Konoha," The blonde bit his tongue on the word "friend", wondering if he can even call her that. "Well why didn't you just say so! Any friend of Naruto is a friend of ours!" she turned to Sakura with a big smile. "My name's Ami! It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance!" Sakura just looked at her weirdly. "Sure…" she nodded.
"She's not very friendly is she?" Ami whispered to Naruto. He let out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey, how about you go help Hosei sort out the paintings in the back? It's almost time to change the log book for the club right?"
"You are totally right!" Hosei grabbed Ami by the wrist and pulled her away before she could actually have anything to say. They all watched as she was pulled to the back room, the door closing after them. Sasuke walked beside Naruto, the pink haired girl looking up at him then back to Naruto, those emotionless eyes making an appearance once again. "It's been a while Sakura. How've you been? It's nice to see you," Naruto smiled nervously, not knowing what the girl in front of him was going to do.
"Yea. You seem well. How's Gaara? Your husband?" Sakura put emphasis on the last word of her question, a bit of malice slipping out alongside it. Naruto looked down, he knew he wasn't doing anything wrong, but he still felt some form of shame for what he was doing. "He's okay. He's on a business trip at the moment but he should be home either sometime tonight or tomorrow…" Naruto rubbed at his right arm, a small habit he picked up ever since Gaara broke it, the memory silently creeping into Naruto's mind.
"Does he know what you're doing?" Naruto looked up at her, confusion clear in his eyes. "What?"
"You're practically cheating on him. How could you do that to him? You're being selfish. You want Gaara and Sasuke? That's pretty selfish of you Naruto. You can only have one. You're married. You shouldn't be doing these things," Sakura huffed as she crossed her arms in annoyance. Sasuke gritted his teeth, not saying anything because he knew that Naruto could take care of himself. If his Naruto was returning, then he wouldn't stand there and take anything from Sakura. "How could you do that to him? You guys have been married for so long and you're gonna go and find another guy right after he leaves? That's shallow. I bet he'll be so hurt when he comes back and finds out about this!" Sakura yelled at the blonde, the girl pointing an accusing finger. Naruto just stared at her in disbelief, wondering what exactly did she take Naruto for.
"I had my suspicions that you had a thing for Sasuke, but I didn't want to believe it you know? Cause he was so out of you league and all. So when you started going out with Gaara it confirmed that you were gay, which is totally fine I guess. But to think that you might've had a crush on Sasuke? That I couldn't tolerate. You don't deserve him," Sakura continued, blind to the murderous stare that was being sent her way by not only Sasuke, but also the two in the back closet who had the door ajar so that they could see and hear what was happening.
Naruto had his head down once more, listening to the girl ramble on and on, every word making it's way into his ear and staying in his head, his fist shaking beside him. "Sasuke deserves someone pretty and smart and you only got this far because you've been riding Lady Tsunades coattail. Honestly, I always wondered why she brought in someone like you. I've always felt like she could do so much better in picking a child. And the fact that she raised you with that pervert? That's just bad parent-" Sakura was interrupted by an open palmed slap, the sound deathly resonating through the room. Ami covered her mouth to hold in her gasp, Hosei's eyes widened in shock, never once seeing Naruto hit anyone, a woman at that. Sasuke watched as Naruto lifted his hands and smacked Sakura across the face, her hair jumping with the motion. His eyes widened at the action, the man believing that he was just going to tell her off, not hit her.
"You…You can talk bad about me all you want," Sakura lifted her hand and touched where the pain was coming from, her face lifting up slowly to look at the man that was talking to her, Emerald green meeting blue with a hint of some sort of bloody red. "You can pick on me, scream at me, insult me as many times as you want. But don't you EVER…talk about my father like that," Sakura watched as tears made their appearance in Naruto's eyes. "He was a great man who should still be with us today, but the heavens took him away from us and none of the pain I've gone through being with Gaara will ever live up to the pain and suffering I went through when I heard he was gone and never coming back," Naruto hissed.
"Hurt Gaara? You think I'll hurt him? I would never do anything to hurt him intentionally. Nothing I could possibly do to him would be in any way worse than what he's done to me. You throw the word "Hurt" around like it means something. It means nothing to me because that's all I've ever been!" Naruto yelled.
"You don't know my life! You don't know what I've been through! Selfish?! You're calling me selfish?! If I was selfish I would have never been in this situation. If I was selfish I would have never met Gaara! If I was selfish I would have ran away with Sasuke right then and there. If I was selfish I would have never let the man I thought I love abuse me for 5 fucking years!" Sakura's eyes widened at that revelation.
"5 years I've been with this man! 5 years of abuse! And now that I finally find a little piece of thread that can pull me out, a thread that is telling me that the way I've been living these past 3 years was all wrong and now that I can finally get out I'm selfish?! Well fuck you Sakura!" Naruto cried at the woman, angry Azure red orbs meeting those of extremely shocked green. "Who the hell do you think you are coming here and telling me this? You think I don't feel bad?! Of course I do! Gaara trusted me with all his heart and I'm about to tell him that everything we had is over!" he finished, breathing heavily. The silence spread quickly, Naruto's breathing slowly calming down. "But I know that it's better this way," Naruto spoke the last part calmly, the man catching his breath from all the yelling. "That if we keep on with this relationship…we'll both end up hurting in the end…Me more than him…," the blonde said dejectedly as his tears slowly started to fade, his anger still apparent but not as much.
"And about my mother being able to choose someone better….At least my mother chose me. Your parents were stuck with you," Naruto hissed as he made his way past Sakura and walked out of the door, leaving the room in a frightening silence. Sasuke finally caught himself and quickly ran after Naruto, hoping he didn't lose him since the boy was quick on his feet. But before he could get far someone grabbed onto his wrist and he saw that Sakura was grabbing onto him.
"Please…don't go…if you go…it's really over….," she said in a faint whisper, her head looking down at the floor. Sasuke took his wrist back and slowly stepped back towards the door. "It can't be over if it never started, Sakura," the raven silently said as he turned on his feet and ran, hoping he could find Naruto.
Sakura stood there in silence, the only noise being the ticking of the clock and the creak of a door indicating that it was slowly opening. She turned her head to see Hosei and Ami staring at her. Sympathy? Disgust? She couldn't tell, and she didn't care. She turned her head back around and headed out the door, going in the opposite direction from where Naruto and Sasuke ran off to.
"Should we go after Naruto?" Ami asked as she walked in front of the unfinished painting that the blonde was working on. "I think…we should let them talk it out amongst themselves for a bit. Naruto looks scary when he's angry…," Hosei rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Ami sighed and nodded her head in silence, sitting down in the seat in front of the painting, her eyes glazing over it as she wondered what would it have looked like finished.
SO!...How did you like it? Did it read well?
I feel like there may be only two or three chapters left since one chapter is pretty long. But I'm still not too sure.
Regarldess, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review and leave some feedback telling me what you think. I'd really like to know so I can use that towards the next chapter.
Until next time!
Ciaosu~~!