This one is all on Darkly Dreaming's shoulders. Her pen name inspired it. I got to wondering how she picked her screen name. Then I wondered what kind of dreams can be characterized as "dark". Then I started wondering what kind of dreams various people would have. Here's my take on Sheldon's dark dreams.

THURSDAY

"You, Sheldon Lee Cooper, are a colossal idiot." Leonard hissed.

"And an asshat," Howard ground out.

"Dude, you suck," Raj said sternly.

Sheldon watched the women smile and wave at the cameras. He agreed.

2 DAYS EARLIER (Tuesday Afternoon)

Sheldon sighed as he looked at the calendar. His birthday was just 24 hours away and he knew exactly how horrible it was going to be. He was turning 35. Penny had insisted that they absolutely HAD to celebrate it. When he tried to tell her that he didn't want a party, she said it was a social obligation and he couldn't say no.

Tomorrow evening he would be surrounded by friends and 'family' (dear lord! She even invited his fake cousin Leo!) in a monumental waste of time. On comic book night, to beat all! Leonard had offered to drive him to the comic book store tonight after they ate, but it wasn't the same. His routine was disrupted and there was no fixing that. Thank you very much, Miss Cornhusker!

A knock on his office door signaled the end of the work day. Leonard, Howard and Raj stood in the hall talking as he gathered his coat, messenger bag and laptop. Maybe Penny would get his burger just right tonight.

THE COMIC BOOK STORE (Tuesday night)

Sheldon handed Stuart the comics he had selected with a heavy heart. Comics bought on a Tuesday didn't feel the same. He grimaced when he saw Wil Wheaton standing nearby. Ever since Amy and Wil had rubbed each other the wrong way a couple of years ago, he felt uncomfortable around the actor.

"What's the occasion?" Stuart asked. "You guys usually come in on Wednesday."

Sheldon huffed. "Tomorrow is my birthday and Penny insists on having a party."

Stuart nodded. "Oh yeah. That's cool. I like birthdays. And parties. Would be nice to be invited to one, I would think."

Wil smiled and walked over. "Your birthday? That's great, Sheldon! Hey, I have a gift for you!" He pulled a small marble box from his pocket and handed it over. "It's a dream box. Whatever you dream goes into the box and if you wish hard enough, it's supposed to come true."

Sheldon looked at Wil with exasperation. "Utter nonsense. Dreams are not tangible. They cannot be stored in a box."

Wil smiled wider. "Leonard Nimoy gave it to me. Sure you don't want it?"

Sheldon gasped and snatched it out of Wil's hand. "Thank you for the gift. I will treasure it."

Wil grinned and left the store. He managed to hold off until he got to his car before he started laughing.

Wednesday Morning

Sheldon woke up feeling groggy and a bit disoriented. He made his way to the shower and the pulsating spray helped clear his head. He settled on the couch to watch Dr. Who while he ate his cereal. Just before the show ended, Leonard spoke and distracted him.

"That must have been some nightmare you were having."

Sheldon looked at his friend with confusion. "I had no nightmares."

Leonard looked surprised. "Really? You were yelling about something not being fair, and then you yelled for Bernadette, Penny, and Amy to stop."

Sheldon frowned as his mind drew a complete blank. "Really? What were they doing? Please tell me they weren't all sitting in my spot!"

Leonard shrugged. "I don't know. It was your dream."

After a moment Sheldon shrugged it off. Probably just some silly nonsense the girls were always up to.

THE PARTY (Wednesday Night)

Sheldon tried his best to look grateful as Penny and Amy set a huge cake in front of him. There were thirty five candles in the center, surrounded by fondant renditions of comic book heroes. He closed his eyes and tried to think of a wish, as Penny demanded. Unbidden the small dream box Wil had given him fluttered through his mind just as he blew out the candles. Then all the lights went out.

"I've got it!" Howard said five minutes later. "Just a blown fuse. Gimme a second." A moment later the lights came back on. Sheldon looked around the room and froze.

"What the hell?" Leonard wheezed.

"Holy frak!" Howard exclaimed.

"Whoa," Raj whispered.

"Awesome!" Wil smirked.

"Oh boy," Stuart said softly.

"Wow, Woxanne!" Kripke leered.

"I really need to get off the drugs," Leo said.

Penny looked at Amy and Bernadette, and then back at herself. Her legs were covered in white stockings up to mid thigh. Her pants were gone and a short (VERY short) frilly skirt was in it's place. Her flowered top was gone, too. The pink top she now wore fit like a second skin and showed a massive amount of cleavage. Her hair was now past her waist and a riot of curls. She looked over her shoulder at the gleaming white wings that fluttered slightly. She lifted the gleaming sword in her hand to examine it. "I should be mad," she mumbled. "I should be really mad. But damn! I look good!"

Bernadette gaped at the skin tight red spandex tights she wore. Her black bustier showed off her bosom perfectly. Her hair was straight and sleek and hung over the red cape in the back like a curtain. Even her black leather boots with the five inch heels were comfortable! Her fingers tingled, and she lifted her hands to look at them. Little bolts of lightning arched between the digits. "Holy crap! I'm like a goddess!"

Amy felt a bit faint. And a bit aroused. Her layers were gone, yet she felt more comfortable than she ever had before! Her legs were covered in silk hose, and the leather boy shorts she wore hugged her body like a glove. Her shirt (if you could call it that) was little more than a sports bra, but also made of leather. Gauntlets adorned her bare arms and supple riding boots cradled her feet. Her hair was braided and tied off with a leather string. Holsters rode low on her hips and the guns appeared to be gold plated. "Am I badass or what?!" she shrieked.

Suddenly Sheldon remembered his dream from the night before. He had dreamed that Penny, Amy, and Bernadette were super heroes and that he, Leonard, Howard and Raj were their lowly sidekicks. "NOOOOOOO!"

THURSDAY

The guys all sat on the couch in 4A and watched the news reporter tell the world that three mysterious women had just foiled a bank robbery. Bernadette and Amy stood side by side, while Penny floated in the air a bit behind them. All three women were waving with wide smiles.

Sheldon walked back to his room and smashed the dream box into pieces. Well, looks like Wil Wheaton was back on his enemies list. Permanently.