Emotionless

Chapter 64, Promise to the Fallen

A/N: For those who have forgotten who Kei is, he is Lucy's consciousness and her soul. Sort of like the one who gives her advice and knows all of what she's experienced and learned from it, even if she doesn't see it herself. He usually takes on the form of a wolf inside her mind, whenever she visits.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail

Previously...

She gasps, wounds appearing all around her body, black blood bleeding unto the ground before filling up the ocean and dying the sky black. She ignored it, and dragged herself forward, eyes burning as she felt her blood filling into them but she dragged onward, until her body could no longer. Exhaling, she turned over unto her back and stared into the sky, seeing the sparkling lights of the stars above, before feeling a warm presence beside her.

Somehow she knew who it was, and merely reached a hand towards the warm black fur of her companion.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Kei."

Normal Pov...

Lucy found herself in a familiar forest, one she hadn't seen in what seemed like a while. The way she last remembered it though, it had been falling apart as her heart was slowly dying by the hands of Kira. Kira...

She was in her mindscape, but for what reason she couldn't guess.

A few feet in front of her was the familiar wolf, Kei. She hadn't seen him in a while, the same time as her mindscape. He hadn't changed much, aside from the pitch black eyes and twitching shadow.

She felt a sense of familiarity, or she thought of anyways. She knew if she could feel, it would be of familiarity. Wouldn't it?

"Lucy, you've returned." Kei breathed, before turning his head towards the forest.

"Come, we have much to do." He told her, as he began jogging over to the forest. Lucy followed, looking up into the starry night sky as she did so. She jogged into the forest, taking in the shadows and the broken trees. Some were fallen, others cracked, some were even burned. She watched Kei as to not lose him as they jumped through shadows and evaded trees.

Soon they reached a clearing, a lake that dispersed into multiple rivers. The water was black and pulsing. Moving in front of Kei she neared the lake, until her toes were at the edge and looked into the water, her eyes narrowing as she saw something beneath the waters.

It was moving ever so slightly, causing the water to ripple and allow the water to depart into the river streams. She crouched down trying to get a better look at it, but it still wasn't clear enough. The water was simply to dark to look through.

Lucy turned to Kei, who was staring back at her with wise old eyes. "Follow," He said, before he began trotting around the lake and leaping over the rivers to a new area with Lucy walking behind him, eyes casting glances towards the black lake, wondering what she should make of it.

It was almost as if her conscious was drawn to it, but in a way she couldn't describe. Perhaps it was her numb emotions picking it up, perhaps it was something she just couldn't identify. She wasn't sure either way.

Later on the reached a cliff side, and together the wolf and the mage walked to the edge of the cliff before looking down to see thousands among thousands of grave markers each in scripted with a name but with no dates, no farewells, only the names painted in blood. Lucy stared out into the graveyard not really looking at the markers individually but as a whole, and she believed she almost felt something. Something.

"Lucy." Kei rumbled beside her, his voice a whisper within the wind that smothered their fur and hair, gentle but strong with wisdom. She looked over at him, curious.

"Time is something that can never be measured, never be truly understood... however, our strength, our spirits, our heart, are bearing can be measured not by our experience but by our limits. In order to become stronger you must surpass those limits because without them, time will break you apart, and there is nothing you can do to prevent that." Kei said, looking out beyond the graveyard.

Lucy swallowed, but did not say anything and instead turned to look back at the graveyard.

"You are mighty strong Lucy, but not strong enough for the next world. Kira Tenshi was an opponent beyond your skill, beyond our skill, but you have the heart of a dragon, the instincts of a wolf, and the soul of a powerful mage. You have great potential ahead of you, but you fear your emotions even though they no longer correspond within you. You fear without knowing you fear just as you anger without the knowledge. Though not ignorant you are blinded. A limitation, Lucy. One you MUST overcome in order to become stronger," He told her.

Lucy looked up, her eyes meeting beyond the horizon of the dark and gloomy graveyard into the sun dawning ahead. Red, purple, and pink darkened slowly before them, and Lucy closed her eyes as the wind licked her cheeks and brushed her eyes.

"Darkness now blooms within you, Lucy. Darkness so strong it could consume you if you allow it to. If you harness it, you will be... beyond."

"What do you mean darkness is within me?" Lucy asked.

"Your magic, the black whispers surrounding you, you're strongest offense is darkness given to you."

"I don't understand," Lucy said, shaking her head.

Kei nodded, "Every being whether human or creature is born with two elements of the world. Darkness and Light; Yin and Yang. An individual will always possess the two, but one will normally possess light stronger than darkness rather than balance the two. Those who try to harness only darkness become consumed, and those who only harness light are limited and blinded. If you balance the two, as we were born, will reach their full potential and will understand what power was meant to be used for."

"That hasn't answered the question-" Lucy began, only to be interrupted. "Patience."

Lucy sighed and sat down, leaving her legs to hand over the edge.

"Darkness and Light were meant to correspond just as Life and Death who cannot live without the other. Often death and darkness is feared for the pain, sorrow, and anger it brings while light and life brings joy. It is a subconscious thing beings do at a young age, fearing the pain and the sorrow or the anger they felt so they create a barrier; a limit. They only embrace the light and the life for it does not seem to bring any pain, when in truth it can bring some of the deepest and strongest agony. Why? Because it is unbalanced. Whether you have emotions or not Lucy, you have these barriers and have had them since you were a child."

Lucy laid down on her back, crossing her arms behind her back, closed her eyes and heaved a long defeated sigh.

"I think I understand now, what your saying is that I've been only harnessing the light and the life despite the darkness inside of me and the death around me. In order to become stronger I must accept what is happened, and that it is in the past. Something I cannot change, but can use to my advantage," Lucy said.

Kei nodded, before laying down beside her, head looking over the cliff edge.

"Yes, though it is one thing to say it before you see it. As long as you do not accept the darkness it will consume you, take over you, and if you allow it to it will become you. Accept it, listen to it, and embrace it. Only then, you shall see," Kei replied.

"See what?" Lucy asked, opening her eyes to look into the blue sky.

Chuckling was heard from the old wolf, "You shall see, Lucy. You shall see as long as you move forward and surpass the emotions that render you deep inside your mind. Do not let the past hinder you, learn from it, cleanse from it, and move forward. That is the one true way."

They sat together for a while, not conversing for it was not needed. Time did not exist within Lucy's mind, even as seasons changed and day turned to night and night to day. It was those moments of peace that warmed Lucy's mind and allowed her to think clearly. She thought of the past, and broke through the barriers that had become her wall, a curtain.

The horrors of the Dragon Massacre she saw once more, relived, and cried for. The tragedy of the battle against Leviathan Skull repeated in her mind, and as she took in every detail she learned more things about herself and the past she never could have believed possible before. She accepted what had happened, finally. There will still barriers left untouched, some things the child could not face, but many things take time. Time that the girl is still trying to understand, but is willing to correspond with.

She fears not having a meaning, without feeling it, she knows she wants her existence to exist; to matter.

The meaning she still searches for, but she is determined to find it and surpass those limitations.

As she stood at the edge of the cliff once more, she saw not the dark and gloomy graveyard anymore, but the people of those grave markers smiling and dancing with each other, light shining around them, shadows reflecting, and she found that it was balanced. Light was dull while darkness was a mystery. Together they made life, they made death, they made nature, and they made unity.

For the first time in a while, Lucy smiled at ease as she saw herself down in the graveyard dancing among the dead. A life no longer hers, a part of her left behind, belonging in one of those timelines with these people. She may not belong there anymore, and she may not belong in the current time, but she didn't need to belong to have a meaning. Just as she didn't need to belong in order to be happy with her old friends once again.

Lucy swore she would become stronger, but not for herself, but for those she would protect. No more would she watch death rain down around her without life, no more would she allow life to live without death. She knew what she wanted, she just wasn't sure how to achieve it.

One thing she did no for sure was as long as those limitations and barriers remained, the less strength she would have to protect those she loves.

No more would she be weak, no more would she be power-hungry, no more would she allow time to control and haunt her.

Now, it was time she took the reins.

Slowly the sound of whistles blowing and the slight rumble beneath her body woke Lucy back into reality. She fluttered her eyes slightly trying to get a feel of her surroundings only to remember she couldn't do that. She did notice however the smooth cool fabric beneath her head and the very familiar soft creaking of metal against metal. Silently, she willed her magic to spread out to be her sense of recognition and get a feel through her magic on those around her... though more on what they were feeling.

Only problem was, it wasn't working.

As she tried to push her magic, it just didn't work, not even as she willed her magic through her heart her ears began to ring and right leg twitch. The twitch however was enough for her companions to know of her presence back into the conscious.

"Lucy?" Gray asked, leaning forward with his brows furrowed in worry.

"My magic..." Lucy began only to falter as her eyes met chocolate brown of her red-haired comrade.

"What happened in there," Erza demanded softly, but with powerful anger.

In reply, Lucy turned her head away. Not sure what to say.

The red-head sighed, before placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're okay."

Lucy nodded, before turning to Gray who stared at her in guilt.

She smiled, "Gray, come on. Even I didn't see this coming."

Gray shook his head and stared out the window.

"Gray. Gray," Lucy repeated before sighing. She held out a hand towards Gray, who in return looked back at her and her hand before sparing a rare smile and closed their hands with his own.

"Chill out Winter," Lucy said, smirking.

Gray could only roll his eyes in response and gave Lucy a light punch and said, "uh-huh, right Jade."

Erza stared at the duo in confusion causing the two other mages to grin at each other at the inside joke.

"Sorry, Erza. So, how did the trial go?" Lucy asked, sitting up after letting go of Gray's hand.

"It wasn't real, just for show," Erza mumbled with her arms crossed, clearly annoyed.

"Shame," Lucy began smiling. "Interrupting my fight for a false trial is just rude."

Erza looked up through her scarlet hair and smiled also, however only a thought later did that smile turn upside-down.

"What happened with you?" Erza asked once more, determined to know.

Lucy sighed, but met the scarlet women's eyes.

"I'm not sure, actually. One moment they put me in a room and the next I'm being held down as they pull my magic out of me," said Lucy.

"Bastards!" Gray yelled.

Erza had that look in her eyes that showed she was trying to figure out what went on.

"I passed out during the process and when I woke I was being carried out of the building," Lucy said, hiding parts of the truth.

"What I am wondering, is what reason would they go through the trouble to do something like pulling someone's magic out of them," Erza began, looking at Lucy seriously. "It's one of the most painful processes; pulling out someone's magic. Technically you need a warrant for that but..." Erza sighed, not feeling like finishing the sentence.

The three were silent for a while as they thought on the situation but with Lucy recalling the memory.

"I think they were looking for residue magic from Lullaby," Lucy finally said, knowing that was the case. It would've angered her to be treated such a way without her consent of even her knowledge of what was going on.

"Lullaby... when you were possessed." Gray whispered, his eyes distant as he recalled her possession.

Erza nodded, "Yes. That would make sense. Nevertheless they shouldn't have done that without your consent."

"Story of my life," Lucy grumbled, placing a hand on the seat only to feel Gray's jacket beneath her fingers. Staring at the fabric, she picked it up before tossing it to Gray with a nod of gratitude.

Seeing her teammates' look of revenge Lucy intervened. "Hey guys, it's in the past so it will stay there. Let it go, because one thing for sure I won't allow them to do that to me a second time. They pulled it off because they had me cornered, blinded practically, and caught me surprised. Relax, after all I'm sure the guild is excited for out return," Lucy pointed out.

The two sighed but nodded nonetheless.

Lucy suddenly grinned, "Good, now tell me. Should Mirajane and I continue our battle?"

A bit short I know, I know. Especially for how long I've been off. I won't be able to post as often as before, however I am making more room in my scheduled (*cough* waking up at the crack of *cough* dawn). This was more of a fuller chapter anyways.

Now, a thanks to all who have been ever so patient!

Sincerely,

My Book of Demons