The Moment Before Awaking

Dick

It didn't take long for Dick to realize he wasn't alone in his bed. There was a body beside him, a warm body. It made his whole waking up difficult, because it was way too good to stay there. Then he remembered drinking until passed out in his living room, he jolted up trying to put a defense stance. But he was still too wasted for that. Wally laughed out loud. And the world fell into its pace.

"Wa..." everything was gone "...lly" before he even ended saying his name. It was an absurd dream. Dreaming about Wally was why he started to drink until pass out.

He screamed and cried. The world was so cruel. Why would Wally die so soon? Why would he die before even knowing how Dick felt about him? Richard screamed and punched the floor, like it was responsible for making him remember things he didn't want to. Like how sweet was his laugh, how warm was his touch, how lovely was his red hair, how hot was his freckles. Threw his own body back to the floor, ceasing his cries. He was so taken by despair, it was hard to do anything else. He blacked out.

"WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!" Wally was screaming from the door. His hand's on his waist.

Dick jumped sit. He analyzed the room, wasn't his place, or Wally's for all that matters. He tried to wake up, tried to make sense, pinch his arm, just ask his body to wake up. He looked in Wally's eyes, he seemed angry, it was him, not an illusion, but probably a hallucination.

"I know you are well awaken, mister I-can-do-all-nighter-easily! Do the math with me" his tone was dangerous. "Wally eats amount x of food per day, we buy five time x food so Wally can eat five days without going to shop for more food. But on day five there is no food for Wally, and Wally has been really committed to his eating schedules. So, what happened to Wally's nutella?"

Dick opened his mouth to say something.

"Don't say it! I know it was you! You said you would replenish! Why didn't you? Don't you love me?" Dick ignored that he was being obviously melodramatic.

"Wa..." and everything was gone, again, "lly!" before he could end call his name. "I love you" whispered to his stained bedroom's wallpaper.

Climbed his bed and curled. Crying. There was no reason to leave his room. Drinking wasn't solving any of his problems anymore. He would still dream about Wally, would still miss him. His mind would still trail these thoughts instead of going blank. He just stayed there, laying on his bed, the whole day. There was no more tears to be shed.

Woke up the next morning with a throbbing wound on his belly. He could feel the inflammation burning around its edges, the sharp pain on its end. It was a knife wound, very deep and large. But he hadn't been on patrol in ages. How come was he wounded? Did someone break in?

"Don't move. Alfred will be here shortly" Wally kissed his forehead, pressing his wound. "We won't have this fight again. I promised you. But why can't you call me when things get out of hand?" he touched both foreheads. "Why don't you trust me to have your back?"

"I do trust you" Dick said. Widening his eyes when realizing he was still there. Wasn't talk what triggered his awaking? "Wa..." and everything was gone. "… lly."

He was back home, his stomach was fine, even if the phantom of the pain lingered. It was his name. The trigger. Ah, that was cruel. Whatever it was. Seeing him, touching him and never being able to say his name. He cried, surprised to find out he still had tears to shed.

Dick woke up patched up. He could feel his skin stretching around the stitches. Wally was nearby holding his hand. He tried to sit and was held down by him.

"No, my love, rest. The meds should be still working. Are you in pain?"

"No. I need to talk to you" whispered, without strength to properly talk.

"Not now, love. Please. You really have to rest. Alfred will come any time and kill us just for you being awake" smiled sweetly.

"Why are you calling me love?" asked clearly confused.

"That's what you are. My love, my life, my everything. Don't tell me you forgot about us" his tone was playful, but he looked serious.

"No, not forget. But I don't think I'm who you think I am" he looked around trying, again, to make sense of this whole situation.

"What do you mean?"

"I think this is a dream, without being a dream. Like I'm from another world, but possessing this world Dick. I'm not hurt in my world, you see. And when I woke here I was. But when I woke there I wasn't. Am I making any sense?"

"No, but you're high" he laughed in relief. "For a moment a wondered if you hit your head. But it seems it's just the meds."

"In my world you are dead. For about a week now" whispered, begging to not cry in front of Wally. "You died before I could ever say I love you. And here you are calling me your love? This is just too cruel!"

"Calm down, Dick. Honey, please. Look, you're making no sense at all. Go rest, a little. When you are better we'll talk about this, okay? You lost too much blood to be making any effort now."

"I love you, Wa…" as expected ,he was gone, as the numbness from the medication and his wound. "... lly."

For the first time in that week he walked away to the kitchen. Grabbed anything to eat. He was starving.

"You really aren't him, are you?" Wally asked when he woke up in the next day.

"No. Sorry" Wally sighed.

"No need to be sorry. So, I died?"

"Yep, and I'm missing you badly" whispered.

"I think I know" Dick looked at him inquiringly, but he was dismissed by another look. "Dick and I are a couple. For six years now" Wally smiled, sitting beside him in the bed, hugging a little. "And we just moved in together."

"Seems a great life" let a small smile surface.

"It is a happy one, at least. Did you and Wally get along?"

"He was my best friend" averted his eyes to the ceiling, feeling the tears burning.

"But you wanted more?"

"Exactly" felt a hand on his hair. They stayed like that for a little while, before everything gradually faded into his dark bedroom.

He rose his body from the bed, disappearing into his bathroom. The doorbell rang soon after. It was a delivery. Something he bought and had truly forgotten about. He signed up and took the small packing. In the bottom of the cardboard box was sitting a game. A cartoonish fighting game about heroes he had bought so he and Wally could test it. The store was sold out and said would send one as soon as they arrive. It was before the whole Artemis in disguise thing. The action and the sadness wiped that from his mind. And there was in his hand a plan he had made together with Wally. Something to remind him how abrupt was his death, how unexpected. How he was not supposed to die.

He just fell on his knees. The scream held in his throat, tears streaming down his face.

"You seem awful" Wally said as soon as he opened his eyes.

"Thank you, just reminding this is the face of your lover" said bitterly.

"Nope, this is your face, you are making this sad face" stroke his face tenderly.

"I'm seriously thinking of killing myself" confessed.

"Don't."

"You know I'm not the man you fell in love, don't you? He will be safe! I can just die and no one will care!"

"I doubt that. And I like you too, sure I'm not in love with this guy I met for five minutes before the love of my life is awake. But we are good friends too. I mean, we didn't talk that much, but you give me this vibe, you know?"

"No, I don't know. I'm just. It's too much for me, okay? I lost everything. And today I got this game we were supposed to play together. I remembered things I didn't want… I want to follow him. I want to search for him! I MISS HIM!" and cried. Wally hugged him.

"Look, I may not be the best to talk about this, but you will not find him if you kill yourself. I don't believe there is this so called life after death. There is just death. You die and your whole body stops to function, you just cease. Like shut down. There won't be ghosts or reincarnation or whatever. Death is the ultimate price, the end."

"So what can I do? There wasn't even a body for me to say goodbye! NOTHING!"

"First, calm down. My love is still hurt, if you sob that much you can open his wound. Second, you just have to move on. Death is not something you can schedule or plan. So, if it happened, you need to move on. Yours me should think the same. If he knew. Go on dates, find new friends. Stop hiding and holding to any small memory and feeling! If your story is anything like my you, you know that at some point it hurts less, or at least you learn how to live with the pain."

"And what? Just forget him? How much did I use to love him?" he was holding really bad to not scream.

"I never said to forget him. I said to move on. To grief and to mourn him it is okay. To linger on this love and hold back your own life it is not! Live your life, remember him when you are happy and when you are sad. But don't live on memories. The past is in the past, you know? If anything, you still have me. I'm here to listen to you" smiled.

"It is cruel how looked alike you both are" smiled sadly.

"Do your best to keep living, Dick. But, if it is that hard for you, I won't be judging you for taking the easy path. Okay? As long as you keep that just as the last resort and promise to try your best to not need it."

"I promise" whispered to him. Wally squeezed him. "Wally."

After that talk, he managed to little by little go back to normal. Every time it was really hard for him, he remembered his promise and tried a little harder. The sweet promise of escape, if it was too much, always helped him. Dick resumed his hero's activities, even if return to the team was too much yet. Wally from the other side of the dream tried his best to keep his mind elsewhere. He talked about his life a lot. They were really happy.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"It's not like I can tell anyone you know" he laughed. It was a marvelous sound.

"You right as always, Dickbird. Well, what would you say?" he opened his drawer and took a small box. A very cute ring was resting inside it.

"Oh, god! Aren't you both too young?"

"I'm not planning to marry that soon. It's just to make official what we both already know, that we are together for life. Besides, I couldn't let the chance fly. Look better at the ring" and offered the small metal band to him.

Dick looked closely. The pattern of the ring was beautiful and oddly known. It was all adorned with swirls and birds, a small stone was engraved on top of it, it had a blue color. 'As blue as a robin's egg' the voice of Mary Grayson sounded in his head.

"It's my mother's ring! How did you…?"

"I just found by chance in a pawn shop. I couldn't believe it was really it! But it couldn't be another ring. You said to me your grandfather had done it himself to your grandmother and it was lost when you did leave the Haly's. But I found it! And I will propose with it. Do you think you will say yes?" asked tentatively, putting the box away to not risk Dick changing back.

"There's no way I wouldn't" and that was when it was too much for him. "Bye, Wally!"

He saw the man fading, a worried expression on his face. He wouldn't kill himself, he lost those thoughts long ago, but handle that was too much. Every single morning after that he whispered the man's name as soon as he woke up. Not staying there for a moment. In one day it took him long enough to notice the ring on his finger. That day he waited to whisper a congratulation to Wally before going away. That was the last time he ever woke up there.

Notes:

I placed this fic into Another Multiverse series because I'd like to think that Dream!Dick and Dream!Wally actually are Another!Dick and Another!Wally. But they can really be just a dream, so no need to read Another for this one.