A/N: Wow. So many positive reviews. Glad to see my stories are still appreciated to this day. Anyway, please enjoy this chapter as well! And no flames either!
Chapter two: Gods of Death descend!
It has been a week since the arrival of his new tenants, and so far life had never been better since he had become friends with them. He was currently making breakfast for them, trying to make them foods to suit their diets.
During his time with them, he had become rather close to them. Chang'e helped keep his apartment tidy until he could expand with Goku's help. In Bastet's case, Naruto used to have a rat problem, no matter what kind of traps he used they just kept coming back… until they met the Cat goddess.
The blonde wasn't sure how she got rid of them… perhaps it was better he didn't know.
Son Goku was extremely helpful. She was bored so she took it upon herself to sneak into the apartments below and inspect them ahead of time. What she discovered had her screeching to the high heavens; the apartments below Naruto's were riddled with Dry Rot, mold, termites and more. In short… it ALL had to go.
He was planning on getting Bastet and Chang'e's payments appraised so he could sell them. Under a Henge of course. He was approached from behind by his first two tenants, who both had sickly sweet smiles that promised pain.
"Oh Naruto… whatever happened to our panties?" asked the cat goddess, her claws gleaming dangerously. The blonde tilted his head as he made some omelets and replied "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Pipkin hopped on the counter as Chang'e spoke through him using ventriloquism "Now Naruto. Just tell the truth and return the panties and we can talk this out." The whiskered teen then snapped at them sharply "Oi! Don't go blaming missing panties on me because I'm a guy you jerks!"
The two goddesses smiles grew ever more venomous as a dark aura enveloped them. Naruto turned around to flip the cooked omelets onto plates… only to find them mysteriously gone. "What the…? They were right there!"
He then noticed a strange inky black blot crawling across the floor, small chewing noises coming from it. He pointed at the blot with a shaky hand causing the two goddesses to look in the pointed direction. The cat goddesses eyes widened as she mumbled "umm, what is that?"
A small yelp was heard from the blot as it dashed towards the door prompting Pipkin to yell "CATCH THAT WEIRD THING!"
With Cat like agility Bastet quickly leapt in front of the door, blocking the escape route as the blot scurried to the living room window only to be blocked by the Moon Faerie. A scream erupted from the blot as it jumped towards the kitchen window to escape, only for Naruto to catch the blot inside of an empty trash bag.
He quickly closed it off and tied it shut so it couldn't escape. "Quick work there… now where were we?" asked the cat goddess, to which the blonde scratched his head and replied "You were claiming I was a panty thief. I think this weird thing might be the culprit… whatever it is."
The two goddesses looked at each other and shrugged. Then a loud belch was heard from the bag. It was a clear bag and so they were able to see… "Our panties?" the two said in unison. Suddenly a giggling noise was heard from the bag as a voice spoke "Aye. I took them. I wanted to see ye pummel the brat and think he was a pervy bastard. Guess that failed when ye spotted me boyo."
The blonde quirked up an eyebrow at the clearly feminine but thick accent and asked "So it was all a prank? Who or what the hell are you? Some kind of slime monster?" the contents of the bag jiggled as it chortled "Slime monster? Not even close boyo. Lemme out of 'ere and I'll tell you who I am. We got a deal?"
"Promise not to run?" asked Chang'e who spoke for herself this time instead of through her rabbit companion. The bag jiggled again as the blot replied "Aye. I promise. Ye can 'ave your panties back too." The blonde looked to the two goddesses, they crossed their arms and thought for a moment then nodded, allowing him to release this creature.
Naruto untied the trash bag allowing the blot to spill out. When it touched the floor it immediately jiggled and began warping, it stood upright then took on a female humanoid shape, and finally it took on the form of a woman with black hair, shaved into a Mohawk, she wore a black trench coat with a white Tshirt with a black skull on the front. Her lip had two piercings on her lower lip near the corner of her mouth, and another three on her right ear. Her sleeves were rolled up showing tattoos. On her right arm was the Kanji for 'Black' and on the left arm was the tattooed Kanji for 'Fear'
"She looks like a Punk rocker." Naruto noted out loud, causing the strange woman to laugh as she tossed a pair of panties to the goddesses. "Aye. It be my style boyo. Names Alexis Black. Friends call me Alex. Mischief maker. Minor goddess/Bogeyman. And over all pain in the ass, at your service. Nice one catching me; seems I got too careless this time."
The three tilted their head in some confusion. Bastet asked in an unsure tone "A…. Female…. Bogeyman?" Alex chuckled as she answered "Aye. That be right. Male/Female ratio for us Bogeymen is 10 to 1. We can copulate to reproduce but generally we are born from the sins of Naughty Children. 'behave or the bogeyman will get ye' is what parents say. Rightfully so boyo."
The blonde scratched his cheek and then said without thinking "You talk kind of funny. I never heard that accent before." Alex snorted, stifling a laugh as she replied "Aye, guess I sound strange huh? I am actually from Ireland."
A question mark appeared over the whiskered teens head "Never heard of that place." He said dumbly. The bogeyman just shrugged and spoke casually "Didn't expect ye to boyo. Tell ye what, how 'bout ye let me stay awhile, aye? I can't pay ye in valuables but I can do other things for ye. Can make trouble for anyone that wants ta mess with this fine place."
Naruto scratched his chin and replied "That… could be helpful actually. You can stay." Alex grinned at that and hugged him squishing his face against her Low D-cup chest. "You be a good one boyo. Tell me…. You a virgin?"
The bogeyman giggled perversely making the Moon Faerie cry out through Pipkin "What does that have to do with anything?!" Alex just smiled and replied casually "I be a woman aye? I have needs. I find the young ones most satisfying." She licked along the blonde's cheek making him blush red.
Bastet flexed her claws and yelled "Stay away from Naruto you pedophile!" the Irish bogeyman laughed and spit back in amusement "I be a pedo? What does that make ye? Two women bunking with a cute lad like this? Tsk. I smell hypocrisy."
Chang'e and Bastet stammered, they were caught off guard by the comment. Naruto managed to slip away before things got any more out of control as he exited the apartment, he sighed and heard a loud chewing coming from below him. It was Goku hanging onto a rope with her feet and tail, munching on a banana as she scrubbed off the graffiti.
She noticed his presence and spoke in a muffled voice between chewing "Hi Whiskers! Goku was bored so Goku started cleaning. Paint coming off! Goku scrubs hard!" the blonde smiled at the friendly Monkey King. She managed to hold what was left of her banana and reached between her breasts for a second then pulled out another one.
"Where were you keeping that?!" yelped Naruto, unsure of how Goku kept pulling things out from between her breasts, making him wonder if there was some kind of hammer space hidden there. "Whiskers want banana? Banana good for friend! Keep healthy!"
Naruto accepted it as he peeled it and bit into it as he muttered a thanks. He noticed she was looking at him for a long moment and she spoke in an unusually normal tone "You're weak huh? Why friend so weak? Whiskers train to be strong right?"
A solemn look crossed the blonde's face as he explained "Uh, yeah. I have failed the Academy twice. I know that for some reason my chakra is too potent for low level jutsu. Not even Iruka will help me." The Monkey King stared at him for a long moment then said simply "So Whiskers need strong Jutsu?"
The blonde slowly nodded making the red-headed Monkey smile broadly as she spoke in her usual loud voice "Okay! Goku doesn't know Ninjutsu! But Goku knows where Jutsu is! Goku be back soon!" she somehow pulled her staff from between her breasts and the leapt from rooftop to rooftop in the direction of the Hokage tower, making the whiskered teen wonder where she was heading.
He sighed as he at last went to get the items appraised, on the way he felt something crawling around in his pants, he swatted at the general area of the sensation. On impact an audible 'ow' was heard as a small black blot slithered out of his pants.
It then formed into a six inch tall miniature version of Alex. "That hurt boyo!" she yelled, tapping her foot in anger. The blonde scratched his head replying "I felt something crawling in my pants! I think that would warrant a swat! Now… how are you here? And… why are you so… small?"
The mini bogeyman smirked as she replied "Fair enough boyo. To answer ye, I actually split myself apart. We bogeyman don't have truly solid forms. We can split ourselves apart to be in multiple places at once. My main body is still at the apartment."
Naruto nodded as he picked her up and asked "Why are you following me?" Alex climbed into his shirt pocket and replied to him "Was curious about ye boyo. Heard rumors amongst villagers. Something 'bout demons."
The blonde nodded gravely as he walked on. Unaware that a masked figure was watching him.
Meanwhile with Goku.
Goku stood in front of the Hokage tower. A broad grin on her face. Her cousin Kape had told her that there was a big scroll that had lots of powerful Jutsu. If she took it then her friend could take whatever Jutsu he wants from it. Genius!
She giggled to herself as she scaled the tower, she leapt from floor to floor, until she was just one floor away from the Hokage office… and then… "HEY COUSIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" came a scream from below making the Monkey screech in surprise and leapt upwards, bursting through the window.
The Sandaime looked in surprise at the intruder but was knocked out by a nosebleed when he saw a pair of tits coming towards him. When she landed, Goku cleaned off the glass shards in her hair and muttered "Owie. That scary! Who yell at Goku?"
Her question was answered as a dark-skinned ape woman appeared and yelled "Ha ha! I got you Cousin!" Goku groaned at that. It was her cousin The Ape Prince Kape. Who has a habit of visiting at the worst of times.
"Goku busy! Important work! No grabbing Goku's boobs! Kape leave!" yelled the red-haired Monkey king as she found a not so well hidden safe…. Which was unlocked, allowing the monkey king access to the contents within. With a grin she pulled out the Forbidden scroll and decided that now would be a good time to leave.
"oooh, what are you doing with that cousin?" asked the Ape woman making Goku reply back "Goku taking this for friend! Whiskers need Jutsu! Big scroll have Jutsu!"
Kape sweat dropped as she asked "You do know that what you're holding contains Jutsu that could flatten an entire village right?" At this the Monkey King stuck her tongue out at her cousin and said plainly "Goku not care! Friend more important!"
In the Ape woman's mind she thought 'Just like Goku. Strong, but so simple.' Before she could open her mouth the Monkey woman had already gone out the window. "Damn! I hadn't gotten a chance to investigate those suspicious boobs of Goku's!"
Back with Naruto.
At long last the blonde had traded the gold coins and Jade bauble for a sizeable sum of money, under a Henge of course. All the while he had a feeling of dread however as he carried his money back to his home.
"Now what has got you worked up for Boyo? You've been shaking for awhile now." Asked the Irish Bogeyman who was hiding in his pocket. The blonde merely shook his head as he answered her "Not sure… I just feel like someone might be following me."
The mini Alex scratched her head, not sure what to make of it. Suddenly she looked at the ground and took note of a looming shadow "Boyo? I think ye might have unpleasant company." The blonde raised an eyebrow as he looked at the ground and noticed the same shadow, he sweated bullets as he slowly turned around… and was met with a Large figure wearing a mask.
Alex immediately recognized who it was as she yelled "RUN BOYO! THAT BE THANATOS! A REAPER OF SOULS!" the blonde didn't think twice as he was about to bolt, but was grabbed by the collar and lifted to Thanatos' eye level.
"Got you brat. I have been looking for you." A deep rumbling voice came from the Death God. "What do you want with me?! I am not dead!" yelled Naruto as he struggled in the god's grip.
A dark aura appeared around Thanatos as he spoke gravelly "No? I am aware of who lives and dies. You should have died a thousand times already from your childhood. So WHY?! WHY DOES A MORTAL HUMAN EVADE MY GRASP? IT WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN THOSE GODS AND GODDESSES KEPT APPEARING AND MOCKING MY PURPOSE WITH THEIR IMMORTAL EXISTENCE! NOW THERE ARE HUMANS APPEARING THAT ARE DEFYING ME! AND YOU! YOU DO NOT SEEK IMMORTALITY AND YET WHY CAN'T I TAKE YOUR SOUL?!"
The blonde felt his ears ringing at the force of his shouting as he answered "I swear, I don't know how I lived through all that…. I just did." This angered Thanatos further as he spoke "Humans 'don't just' survive. They either live or die. That is it. You lived through starvation, dehydration, mobs, burnings, stabbings, poisons, and yet you just don't die! Hmph, this time I shall take care of you personally."
From inside Naruto's pocket Alex was relaying what was happening to her main body and by extension Bastet and Chang'e.
The masked death god proceeded to draw his blade until a second voice cut in "Ara Ara Thanatos. What might you be doing on my turf?" The masked god turned and made a low growl as he muttered "Shinigami."
When the masked god turn to face the addressed god, Naruto paled since he was in the presence of not one, but two gods of death. The Shinigami held a Sakè bottle and took a swig before speaking with an edge to his voice "You know it is taboo for two Gods of death to be in the same place. Disrupts a veeery delicate balance of nature. And you of all Death gods should know you can't reap those who aren't on the 'To Die' list."
Thanatos growled as he spit back "You are as sloppy and carefree as ever. Your shoddy and lazy work ethic clearly let this brat slip through the cracks. Like that Senju brother, Tobirama who created that thrice damned Edo Tensei, Orochimaru, and that crazy sado-masochist!"
The Shinigami twirled a lock of hair between his fingers before replying "Don't mention them to me... you know, you piss me off you old bastard. I am lazy huh? I actually tried reaping the kid… but it didn't work."
Naruto, Alex who was still hidden in the blonde's pocket, and even Thanatos were shocked by this statement. "What the hell does that mean?" questioned the Greek death god prompting the Shinigami to coldly reply "Go ahead and try to reap him. See for yourself."
With a grunt the masked god dropped the blonde to the ground then with a roar, swung his scythe downwards toward the whiskered teen. Time seemed to slow down as the tip reached his chest…. Then on impact… the scythe blade shattered.
For a moment Naruto thought his heart would leap out of his chest from fright… until he noticed he was still living and breathing. "What trickery is this?!" yelled Thanatos in confusion and anger. A dark chuckle came from the Shinigami as he spoke after drinking some of his alcohol "Can't you tell? Gotten senile? The boy CAN'T die. Uzu won't let him."
The masked god scoffed at that "Uzu? That island has been dead for centuries." A dark aura enveloped the Shinigami as he answered "Not dead. Merely bled into a coma and left broken and forgotten. A fate worse than death… being forgotten and erased. But very much alive and seeking vengeance."
Thanatos looked at the blonde, then back to his fellow death god and growled out "This isn't over you brat." The Shinigami just chuckled and casually spoke "Call me a brat if you want old man. I'll still trump you every time."
With a growl the Greek death god vanished into the wind like ash. The Shinigami approached the blonde and helped him to his feet "Sorry about him. Guy is an uber workaholic. Reaps all the livelong day. Doesn't think about the potential in people like you."
The blonde gulped as he said "Not sure what that was about, but thanks Mister." The death god tilted his head "Mister? You think I am a man?"
Naruto's eyes widened to dinner plates as he asked "You mean you aren't?!" with a shrug the Death god took off the hannya mask revealing a beautiful woman underneath (A/N: Just think Miya from Sekirei.)
"Sorry about the confusion. This thing does tend to hide my true gender, and my voice kind of echoes in there making me sound deeper and more masculine. To be honest… when I first started out, I was uh, too beautiful. Men killed themselves daily seeking my hand in marriage so I uh, started wearing this mask thing." Explained the now revealed Female Shinigami.
"Wow. Uh, sorry for thinking you were a man. Honest mistake really. Anyway… What is Uzu? You said… it wouldn't let me die." Asked the blonde, genuinely curious; meanwhile in the background two goddesses were hidden. Glad they managed to call the Shinigami before it was too late since they didn't have a chance against Thanatos.
The Shinigami simply replied "Sorry. But that's top secret. I can only say this: There is far more to you, than you EVER thought possible." Naruto was confused at this but then she leaned in close and crouched to eye level, making him blush as she gave him a sultry smile "I'll be sure to come by your little Inn when it is ready. Oh and my card. Call if Thanatos bothers you again."
She placed a card in his hand with a phone number, and the name 'Miya Shinigami' on it as she walked away with a large grin on her face. 'That kid might not seem like much but… I can see the threads of fate. My eyes see…. That soon he shall possess a special power… that shall flip the world upside down and inside out. This is going to he… fun' she thought in her mind with a broad grin.
End chapter two.
Omake: Don't take Goku's banana nut cake!
Goku sat in her friends home, munching on a banana nut cake she had bought from a bakery after her recent excursion. "Wonder when Whiskers be back. Goku have special present." She glanced at the large scroll in the corner then took another bite of cake… then felt a familiar pair of hands grope her breasts.
"Cousin Kape? Why Cousin Kape keep touching Goku's boobs?" cried out the Monkey king, making her cousin reply back "These big tits of yours are suspicious! Where do you hide whatever you pull out of them?" the ape woman kneaded her cousins breasts making her blush, then reached around in the valley of her breasts searching for the Monkey King's bag of Senzu beans.
Only to grab at nothing but air. With a frustrated sigh she stops and sits down "One day I am gonna crack the mystery of those weird tits!" Kape yelled, then without thinking she took a bite of the cake. When she realized what she bit into her head slowly turned to her cousin who's fangs were jutting out from her lips.
With a shout that sounded like 'Kaioken!' a crimson aura flashed around Goku as she pounced on her cousin who cried out in fear.
Hours later, one young man of twenty years old with fair skin, and blonde hair entered his room… and found his girlfriend Kape holding an ice pack to her swollen ass cheeks. "Again Kape? That's the third time this month! I think you need a new hobby."
"Shut up love! I was doing a serious investigation!" yelled the ape woman who was nursing her stinging butt. "Like the pool girl from Taki?" asked the young man as he sat down and opened a can of soda. "Don't bring Carly into this! She made the first move on me!"
"Don't forget. I might be sharing you with Carly… but you were my girlfriend before then… should I remind you of that?" said the blonde man making the dark skinned ape yell out "Nooooooo! Not now! Goku was too rough on me! I'm still sore!"
"No rest for the wicked." Spoke her boyfriend as Konoha was filled with screams of pain… followed by pleasure.
Meanwhile a certain Monkey King was snoring away. Taking a nap after brutally spanking her cousin and using her staff for… various purposes.
End Omake.
A/N: No need to take Omake seriously. This chapter left me in a funk for awhile. So I had to claw my way through an inch at a time. And for those that have complained about Goku's personality, get over it. She isn't necessarily stupid. Just simple and it is just the way she talks. Anyway, my next update is possibly another chapter of One Bad Day, or a Naruto/(Shingeki no Kyojin) Attack on Titan story I've been holding on to for awhile now