Episode 10
Asher blinked when he felt something on the bed move. He opened his eyes slowly. It was still early; there was barely any light streaming in through the half-open window, and an eerie silence in the room. He could hear nothing expect for the distant ticking of a clock and the slow breathing of the woman lying in bed next to him.
He'd missed this. It had only been a few nights since Lexi had been missing from his bed, but there was an indescribable joy in knowing that she was there right now, her gentle breathing music to his ears. Feeling his sore limbs, he slowly rolled over to face her. Lexi was lying flat on her back, sheets pulled up to her armpits. Her eyes were wide open as they stared at the ceiling.
"Hey," Asher greeted, surprised to find her awake. He moved closer, inhaling the smell of his soap on her skin. It was strange, yet familiar. She usually smelled of lavender. He wrapped an arm around her middle and pulled her into his chest. "Why are you awake this early?"
Lexi's gaze was still fixed on the ceiling. Asher was disappointed to see that the same, haunted look was still in her eyes. There was something wrong; something had happened, something that she wasn't telling him. He watched her take a deep breath before turning to face him. Her smile was forced. "I couldn't sleep," she whispered.
"Was I snoring again?" he asked with a grin, hoping to make her smile. Lexi looked at him, but her lips didn't move. It was the same, haunted gaze, Asher bit his lip, before slowly releasing her. He sat up on the bed and rubbed his face with one hand. "Was last night a mistake for you?" he asked suddenly. "Because I thought it was amazing and I was really happy, but if you regret it…"
Lexi looked at him for a long moment. He looked agitated and upset. She slumped back against the pillow and closed her eyes. "I don't know," she whispered.
"You don't know?" he asked.
"I know that I needed it at the time," Lexi replied shakily. "But I don't know if I regret it."
Asher turned, kneeling beside Lexi. He saw the small, broken girl lying on the bed with her eyes closed, her messy, dark hair covering her face and the pillow. He lifted a hand and brushed aside a few strands. She gently pushed his hand away. "Lexi, have you forgiven me for what I did to you?"
Lexi felt her voice break. She burrowed the side of her face into the pillow. "No."
"Then why did you come here last night?" Asher demanded. When she turned her face away from him, he grasped her chin. Her brown eyes were scared, and she flinched away from him suddenly. Asher released his grip on her and moved away. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said, sounding frustrated. "Lexi, why did you come here last night when you still hate me? You clearly don't trust me, you keep flinching away as if I'm going to hit you or something. Is that how little you think off me? That I would hurt you? Are you afraid of me?"
Lexi stared at him. "I'm not afraid of you, Asher."
"You're clearly afraid of something."
"I just… I don't want to talk about it," she whispered. She sat up, clutching the bedsheet to her chest. Her tangled hair framed her face. "Can we just not talk about it?"
Asher sighed. He stood up, his fists still clenched. He paced the room once, looking like he was trying to frame his sentences. Lexi watched him quietly. After he was silent for a long time, running his hands through his hair, he came over to her side of the bed. He took one of her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. "All right, this is how it is," he said, gently but firmly. "I don't want to make you talk about something you don't want to share with me. But I love you, Lexi. And I want you to come here because you love me and you feel safe with me, not because you hate me and want a fuck to distract you. So either tell me what's going on with you, or get dressed and I'll drop you off at your apartment right now. Because I'm not sure that you really want to be here."
"I do want to be here," Lexi whispered.
"Yes, but why?" Asher demanded. When she didn't respond, he took a deep breath. "Don't do this, Lexi. I don't want to be used for sex. Not by you, I-I can't take it." His voice was starting to crack and Lexi felt tears well up in her own eyes. She'd never realized that her impulsive actions would hurt him so much. She grasped his hand tightly, lifting another one to caress his cheek.
"I'm not using you!" she insisted.
"That's what it feels like," Asher replied quietly. "Tell me what's going on so that I can feel differently, then. Let me be there for you; not just physically, but the way you were there for me when I got kicked out by my Dad. Talk to me."
Lexi felt herself tremble. She could see the pain in his eyes; she didn't want to hurt him. No matter how much Asher had hurt her before, Lexi knew that she would have to provide some explanation for her behaviour, or risk losing him. She couldn't be alone right now. She took a deep breath. "Okay, we'll talk. Can I go to the bathroom first?"
Asher sighed and ran a hand over his face, before nodding. "Yeah, of course. Go ahead. I'll make coffee," he mumbled, moving out of the bedroom. Lexi waited until he left the room, before quietly removing the sheet from around her and sliding on a discarded shirt that was lying over a chair. She grabbed her phone and slipped into the bathroom.
Her face was a mess. Her eyes were red from lack of sleep and there were circles under them. Lexi splashed water on her face, before leaning against the sink. What do I tell Asher? I can't say anything about Sam. The others will kill me. And if we're discovered, they'll turn against me. She took a deep breath and wiped her face before dialling Connor's number with shaky hands. She sat on the edge of the closed toilet, running her fingers nervously through her tangled hair.
"Lex?" Connor's voice asked quietly. "What is it, did something happen?"
"Not exactly," she replied. Her head was still aching and she clutched at it in frustration. She lowered her voice, afraid that Asher might hear her from outside the bathroom door. She turned the sink on and left it running, hoping that would be enough to cover her voice. "Listen- where are you right now?"
"I'm just leaving Oliver's."
"Oliver's?" Lexi demanded. "You went to his place last night? He didn't figure out that you were behaving weirdly? You were a complete wreck when I left you."
"Thanks, you were pretty composed yourself," Connor snapped. "Yes, I went to Oliver's. Yes, I broke down completely while I was there. Of course he noticed something was wrong, I had to lie to him. I told him I was high and that I have a drug problem, okay?"
Lexi groaned in frustration. "That'll never work with Asher, he knows I don't do drugs. Connor, I need your help. He's interrogating me and giving me ultimatums, I have no idea what to tell him to excuse my break-down last night. Should I make something up?"
"No shit," Connor replied. He sounded frustrated. "This is why I thought it was a bad idea for you to go there. Look, you can't just copy my excuse. Think of something on your own."
"I'm not as good at making up stories as you are! What, should I- maybe I can say there was a death in my family? My grandmother or something… maybe someone's in hospital…" Lexi mumbled desperately. "I know it's not very creative, but-"
"Fuck creative, it's stupid. You'll get caught. You need something that doesn't involve solid, traceable people and something that nobody else knows about, so he can't accidentally hear the truth from anybody."
"Why don't you stop giving me lessons, and give me ideas?" Lexi snapped. She was panicking and she clutched at her hair tightly. What if she couldn't think of anything? How would she go out there and face Asher? How was she supposed to tell him that she'd helped commit murder and erased the evidence? "God, he must know I was at the bonfire last night so that limits my options-"
"Exactly. The bonfire," Connor replied. He sighed. "Look. You were a gorgeous, drunk girl who was at a college bonfire. Use your common sense. What do you think happened?"
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Lexi clutched Asher's shirt to her body as she walked out of the bathroom, her hair combed and face washed. Her hands were trembling. Not only was she almost certain that she would be going to jail soon, but she was about to tell the man she loved the biggest lie she'd ever told. Lexi had seduced, manipulated and snuck her way out of situations before, but she had never cooked up a story so completely outrageous.
"Hey. Coffee?" Asher asked, as Lexi entered the kitchen and sat on a stool near the counter. She nodded as he poured out a mug and slid it across the breakfast bar. It was black and sweet; the very first sip sent a jolt to her brain. Asher watched her calmly, sipping his own coffee. "Okay, are you ready to talk to me?"
Lexi nodded. She clutched the mug with trembling hands. "You're not giving me much of a choice."
"Is it so wrong for me to want to know what brought my ex-girlfriend onto my doorstep in the middle of night, a dirty, sobbing mess?" Asher asked. He sighed and moved around the breakfast bar so he was standing behind her stool. He slipped an arm around her shoulder and pressed her head to his chest gently with the other hand. "Lexi, I want to help you. That's it."
"I know." Lexi whispered. She leaned into his comforting warmth, pressing her face against his chest. She couldn't believe that she was about to say this. The lie wouldn't come out of her mouth; even though it was ready, on the tip of her tongue. Just say it, she willed herself angrily. Say it. One, two, three… "I was almost raped last night."
The sentence hung in the air between them for a few moments. Lexi felt something heavy sink into her stomach as she realized what she'd done; she'd told Asher, a man who had just confessed his love to her last night and who wanted to be there for her, a horrible, blatant lie. It was out there. He'd heard it. Lexi felt her fingers tremble as she realized that it was too late to take it back. She'd said the words and now she had to stick by them.
Asher was still; his arm was still around her shoulders, his fingers tangled in her hair as he pressed the side of his face to her chest. Had Lexi not felt the rapid increase in the thudding of his heartbeat, she would have wondered if he'd even heard her. "What?" Asher whispered.
"I was almost raped," Lexi repeated. The words left a bad taste in her mouth and she felt nauseous. She repeated the lines that Connor had told her a few moments ago, almost as if they were a poem she was reciting without understanding the meaning. "It… it was at the bonfire. I was drunk, and I was mad at you. I was flirting with a couple of guys, and they were drunk too. One of them started getting out of hand. He-he started touching me, and I didn't like it. He kept doing it, though. He managed to get me into a corner- I was too drunk to resist him and he half carried me into the woods and he shoved me to the ground and…" Lexi trailed off. She couldn't finish her sentences. She felt sick. The words weren't even hers; Lexi remembered reading them from the victim's statement of a case that she'd read a year or two ago.
Asher's grip on her tightened. Lexi couldn't look at his face, afraid that she would break down, that he would be able to read the lie in her eyes. He was shaking slightly; he pressed her head to his chest tighter, and his fingers gripped over the back of her head. Lexi winced, hissing in pain. "What happened?" Asher asked suddenly, releasing her.
"Nothing-I-it's bruised there," Lexi admitted quietly. Asher stepped away for a moment, tilting her face up so that she would look at him. Lexi could feel her heart thudding. Could he see through it? Did he know it was a lie? "But… but he didn't- Connor came into the woods looking for me and the guy ran away at the sound of his voice."
It had been Connor's idea to use almost raped instead of raped. For one thing, the fact that she hadn't even had sex in a few days, much less been raped, would easily come out in a medical exam. Yet she had bruises and cuts on her body that might prove she'd been pushed around in the woods. Lexi had wondered why the hell anyone would even test her for rape, when Connor pointed out the most likely thing Asher would do.
"We have to go to the cops," Asher said after a long moment. His fists were clenched and his eyes were flashing red. "You have to tell them, they'll find this bastard that tried to hurt you and then I'll make him wish he never-"
"Asher, no!" Lexi whispered, her voice cracking.
"Lexi, I know this is difficult," Asher mumbled. He caressed her cheek gently, running his thumb over her skin. Lexi closed her eyes and leaned into his warmth. She wanted to reach over and hug him tightly, press her face into his chest again, but the sick feeling in her stomach wouldn't stop. "I know you don't want to relive this. But I'm here for you, you know I am. My Dad will make sure he goes to jail." Asher crouched down so his face was level with hers. "You don't need to be afraid. Okay? I will kill the next man who tries to lay his fingers on you, do you hear me?"
"You can't go to the cops," Lexi insisted. She was breathing heavily, terrified of what Asher might do. "You can't. I won't let you. It was my own fault- I was so drunk, I barely remember what he looked like. I'd been flirting with him and other guys all night, I –"
Asher stared at her with wide eyes. "For fuck's sake, Lexi, what is wrong with you? This wasn't your fault! The cheap sleazeball cornered you in the woods and tried to violate you, how can you blame this on yourself?" he cried. Lexi blinked and looked at him silently, while Asher calmed down. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm not handling this very well."
Lexi forced a weak smile. "It's okay-"
"No, it's not." Asher cupped her cheeks gently, and pressed his forehead to hers. She could feel his warm breath on her face. "I promise I will help you through this. I love you, Lexi. I'm here, whatever you need. Okay? You won't regret talking to me about this."
Lexi bit her lips, trying to control her shaking. "Then promise me you won't go to the cops."
"Lex…"
"No, Asher, you have to promise me right now. Don't you understand? If we tell the cops, it's only a matter of time before my Dad hears about it from some old colleague of his. I can't face him about this. It would break him, Asher, please. Don't go to the cops. Don't make me have to look my parents in the eye after they find out I went and almost got myself raped."
Asher was silent for a long moment. "Are you sure about this?"
"Yes. Please." Lexi looked up at him defiantly. "If you go to the cops, I'll deny I ever said anything. Nobody can ever know about this. Just you, me and Connor. That's it."
"Okay," Asher agreed reluctantly. "I won't say anything to anyone."
As he stepped away from her to check on the toast, Lexi clutched her coffee mug and closed her eyes. The sick feeling in her stomach wouldn't go away. She sent a silent apology to every woman who had ever been raped.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
"Did it work?" Connor asked quietly, as he stood in the living room of Annalise Keating's house, watching policemen carry boxes of evidence in and out of the house and generally milling about. Lexi was leaning against the wall beside him. It was the same wall she'd been leaning against when she had her panic attack the previous night, with Sam Keating's body a few feet away. "Did Millstone buy it?"
"He bought it," Lexi mumbled, forcing a smile at a young policeman who glanced in her direction. She'd been looking at all of their faces, wondering if she would recognize any of her Dad's old colleagues. But all the men around here seemed too young and inexperienced to have worked with her father. She glanced sideways at Connor. "Doesn't mean I feel good about it."
"He cheated on you." Connor said it simply, seeming oblivious to the fact that it was the last thing Lexi needed to be reminded of at the moment. "You're hardly the guilty one. You don't see any blood anywhere, do you?" he whispered nervously as he watched one police officer inspect the floors.
"Shut up," Lexi snapped. She watched the cop as well, feeling her heartbeat thud as he paused for a moment and pressed his shoe against one of the floorboards. But he shook his head and walked away, leaving Lexi to release her breath. "It's suffocating in here. Let's go out," she mumbled.
They went out onto the front porch, where Wes, Laurel and Michaela were standing to one side, trying to look calm. Lexi jumped out of a cop's way and clutched her coat around her, sliding into the space beside Laurel.
"Last I heard, we were all being interviewed by the police," Michaela was mumbling through gritted teeth. She was forcing a smile on her face, rather similar to the one Lexi had plastered on hers. All of them looked tense and nervous. Lexi wondered if the police officers would think this was normal, or if the group of college students huddled around the front porch looked as suspicious as they were.
Wes sighed, trying to calm them all down. "We're being interviewed because we work here," he replied. "We need to stay calm and stick to the story."
"How do you know she's not setting us up?" Connor demanded. "That she knows everything and she's using these interviews to get us all to confess? I mean, how do we know the campus cop didn't call her last night and-"
"Connor, shut up," Lexi snapped for the second time. She had no idea whether Annalise Keating knew or not, but if Connor kept talking in that nervous tone, the cops were definitely going to know. She grabbed his arm hard and pinched him through his sleeve. "Keep it down." She smiled politely at another cop who gave them a curious look.
"What if one of us cracks?" Connor demanded. He glanced pointedly at Michaela. "Goes to the police and tries to get a lesser charge? Huh? What then?"
"Then, the rest of us will pin everything on that person," Laurel replied calmly. She gave Connor and Michaela pointed looks. "It's five against one, so- don't even try it."
Michaela stared at Laurel nervously. "Don't look at me. If anyone's going to split, it'll be the scholarship brat. She's the one with police contacts, who's to say she hasn't already told them everything?" she demanded, looking at Lexi accusingly.
"My Dad's an ex-cop," Lexi said through gritted teeth. "I use his name to get access to semi-confidential police documents, it's not going to get me out of a murder charge."
"What about Asher? What if he really knew we were in here last night?"
Lexi sighed. She couldn't believe that she was standing here and trying to console Michaela Pratt of all people, when she herself was almost positive that they were going to get caught. She shook her head impatiently. "Don't worry about Asher. I'll handle what he says to the cops. If we get caught, it's not going to be because of him."
There was a brief, tense silence, before the sound of a car pulling up to the driveway startled them all. Connor turned around, clutching the sleeves of his jacket. "Mommy's home," he mumbled.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
"Are you kidding me?" Asher asked, as they all gathered in Annalise's living room once the cops were gone. Lexi was curled up in an armchair, her knees pulled up to her chest. She watched as Asher paced the floor in front of her. "I have everything to worry about! I came here last night, looking for the trophy. What if they don't think he's missing, what if they think there's foul play and I'm somehow involved?"
Connor glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. "Sounds like you might need a lawyer."
Asher gave him an incredulous look, and Lexi sighed, leaning back into the sofa. "Asher, relax. That's a pretty far-fetched idea. If Sam Keating really murdered Lila Stangard, then he's the murder, why would anyone hurt him?" she asked, trying to sound casual. Asher looked at her and sighed, before sitting on the arm of her chair.
"I guess," he muttered with a sigh. He glanced at Lexi and gently lifted a hand to run through her hair. "Maybe I'm freaking out. All the same, I don't want the cops thinking I have anything to hide." Lexi closed her eyes as she felt his soft fingers brush her scalp. It was relaxing. Lexi paused for a moment, before she turned to look at Asher. She lowered her voice so none of the others would be able to hear her.
"Asher," she mumbled. "You promised, you know you can't say anything about…"
Asher bit his lip. "Lex, I don't want to lie-"
"Please," Lexi whispered. She looked up at him, her eyes pleading him in desperation. Asher felt a sudden rush of pity for her. He sighed and nodded, leaning closer to press his lips to her forehead gently.
"Okay. I won't say anything," he mumbled.
Michaela looked up suddenly. "Professor Keating," she greeted, as Keating entered the room. Lexi jumped to her feet along with the others, as they all gathered around Annalise.
"We have work to do," Annalise said sharply. "Rebecca goes to trial in three days unless we get the charges against her dismissed."
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Lexi took a deep breath as she sat down in the chair. There were two cops on the other side of the table; a man who was leaning casually against the windowsill, and a woman who was sitting with notes and files in front of her. Lexi couldn't help her heartbeat thudding.
"You look nervous," the woman commented as she watched Lexi shift in her seat.
Lexi laughed, trying to sound casual. She couldn't tell how much of her guilt was written on her face but she tried to look as calm as she could. "Sorry. I'd seen this room as a kid a few times before. I guess I always imagined myself on the other side of the table, like you."
The woman picked up the paper in front of her and raised an eyebrow. "Alexis Gray."
"Daughter of David Gray?" the man asked, looking a little interested. He pushed away from the window and walked over to the table. "I worked under your father on a few cases before he retired. Excellent man. Really inspired us to do our work. How is he?"
"He's doing a little better," Lexi admitted, feeling herself relax. She knew that the nervousness was disappearing from her face. "His leg still bothers him most days, but if you know him, then you know that he can stay positive in any circumstances."
"That's right," the man replied. Just as Lexi had relaxed, she could see the slight shift in the cops' demeanour. They both seemed a little less hostile in their behaviour. "We just have a few routine questions for you, Miss Gray. Your friends claim that you, Wes Gibbins, Connor Walsh and Laurel Castillo were at a study group at Mr. Gibbins' house. Is that right?"
Lexi nodded. "It is. Connor drove me there. We'd been planning it for a while; we have exams coming up and it's always easier to just split notes."
"I see. And you were at the study group for a while, before you decided to go to the bonfire?"
"Yeah. We'd all had enough. We figured it was time to take a break and it wasn't as if I had anything better to do," Lexi replied simply, leaning back. She paused and frowned. "Well, not exactly. I was supposed to meet Asher Millstone that evening, but I stood him up."
"Why is that? Were you otherwise detained?"
Lexi sighed, rolling her eyes so that she looked a little annoyed. "No, I was just at the study group. I didn't really want to meet him. He'd been bothering me about getting back together so I was tired of his crap."
"The two of you were romantically involved?" The woman asked.
"Well yeah. Until a couple of days ago, when he cheated on me. So I dumped his sorry ass," Lexi folded her arms against her chest and leaned back, remembering with anger when Asher had cheated and lied to her. She must have looked convincing, because the woman looked amused.
"He's your co-worker. Mrs. Keating was okay with this relationship?"
"Well, she didn't know," Lexi replied, as though it was obvious. She paused and her eyes widened.
"Wait a second. You can't tell Professor Keating any of this, can you? I don't know if it's legal, but it's definitely not ethical. I don't want to get fired over a relationship I'm not even in anymore."
"What happens here is just between us," the man promised her. "So you went to the bonfire. How long were you there?"
Lexi frowned. "Honestly? I don't think I could tell you an exact time. A couple hours, at least. I was pretty drunk."
Lexi felt her heartbeat thud as the woman gave her a slightly disbelieving look. "Was it really a good idea to be getting drunk so close to exams?" she asked calmly.
"Probably not," Lexi replied. "But to be fair, I didn't know that Sam Keating would go missing and that I wouldn't get a chance to study for the next couple of days. To be honest, I was just glad to get some time away from Asher. It was really hard, you know?" she asked, with a sigh. "After the break-up. I never believed that he would cheat on me. And I've had to see him at work every day since. I was relieved to get some time away from him, so I got drunk and flirted with a couple of strangers to make myself feel better. I know it wasn't smart."
"What did you do later?" the man asked.
"I got back into Connor's SUV. It was pretty late. I made Connor drive me over to Asher's."
The man raised an eyebrow. "You seem to have made a number of bad decisions last night, Miss Gray. You went over to your cheating ex-boyfriend's house while drunk?"
Lexi felt anger flare up inside her and frowned. "Yes, I did. I spent the rest of the night there. I assume you don't want more details? Perhaps you'd like to know how the sex was?"
The woman sighed and shook her head. "Calm down, Miss Gray. There's no need for that. Let's talk about Sam Keating. Did you have much of an opportunity to interact with him during your work at Mrs. Keating's home?"
"Well, he'd pass through the hallway sometimes," Lexi explained. "And he might talk to me if I ran into him in the kitchen on something. I was usually on coffee duty, so he'd make small talk. Ask me how work was, and if I was under a lot of pressure, stuff like that."
"That's all? Small talk? He never approached any more personal subjects?"
Lexi paused. She remembered discussing the plan with Laurel earlier this morning; they'd planned to make Sam Keating look like a man with a wandering eye, as subtly as they could. "Well, he never really said anything out of the ordinary. But there was something about the way he would look at me that made me feel a little… uncomfortable. I thought I was imagining it at first."
"At first?"
"Well, Laurel mentioned that she found it weird too. I started noticing it a little more after she said that, but it was just looks, you know? I could have been imagining it. I never even discussed it with her after that one time."
The man and the woman both nodded simultaneously. "There was nothing else unusual about Sam Keating or his wife? Did you ever see them interact with each other?"
"Sure. They seemed like a loving couple," Lexi replied with a shrug. "I mean; not in the usual sense; Professor Keating is damn scary, but he seemed to love her. Except when he was giving me and Laurel weird looks; but like I said, I'm not even sure about that."
There was a long pause as the man leant down to whisper something in the woman's ear. Lexi felt herself stiffen in her seat. Why were they discussing things? She had been confident that at least her interview wouldn't go too badly. But neither of the cops seemed convinced. Finally, the man looked at a paper in front of him.
"Mr. Gibbins was here earlier. He mentioned that you and Connor Walsh have known each other since before you started working with Professor Keating?" the man asked lightly. "How is that?"
Lexi blinked. "Well, we've been friends since we were kids. We used to be neighbours, and our parents know each other."
"Did Mr. Walsh often drive you and the other students around?" the man asked with a raised eyebrow. Lexi felt herself tense slightly. They were going to ask about Connor's car. This was one of their biggest loopholes; they had an excuse, but one that wasn't anywhere near solid.
"Sometimes," Lexi replied lightly. "We carpool a lot. I mean, Wes drives his bicycle around usually, but Connor's SUV is the biggest so we'd always take it if we all wanted to go out together. Like we did last night."
"Mr. Walsh's SUV was seen parked outside the Keating house. Why did you park there if you wanted to go to the bonfire?"
Lexi tried not to look affected. "What? Oh, that!" she pretended to suddenly remember, and shook her head in slight irritation. "It was Connor's stupid idea. He's so protective of that damn car; Michaela kept saying that we wouldn't get parking near the bonfire and Connor became afraid that somebody might damage it if he parked too close to the rowdiness. We saw a car getting trashed on our way. So we figured it would be safe if we parked at the Keating house."
The woman looked at Lexi with a raised eyebrow. "I see," she said quietly. Lexi suddenly felt herself tense. They hadn't bought it. She could tell. The man and the woman exchanged glances. "Now; why is it that Asher Millstone was the only one who wasn't invited to the study group and the bonfire with the rest of you?"
Lexi raised an eyebrow. "I told you; he'd cheated on me. We weren't about to hang around together. Everybody figured that it would be a mess if both of us were there."
"Yet you went to his house that very night and engaged in intercourse with him."
"I was drunk," Lexi repeated. She frowned and leaned forward. "I don't understand how this is relevant. I feel like you're questioning me on my moral choices and not on my whereabouts or doings of that night. Yes, I went to Asher Millstone's. So?"
"Mr. Millstone said," began the female cop, "that you turned up on his doorstep, upset. May I ask what was it that made you upset? From what I remember, you were just having fun with your friends."
"I am an emotional drunk. I tend to cry when I'm wasted."
"I see," the man replied. He looked down at a few more pieces of paper on the desk, before glancing back at Lexi. "I think that's all we need from you, Miss Gray. Unless there's anything else relevant that you'd like to share with us?"
"I don't think so," Lexi replied, getting out of her seat. She hurried out of the small room, hoping to god that she would never have to sit on that side of the table with a guilty mind, ever again.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Lexi stood silently against the wall in the precinct. Michaela was being questioned inside; Lexi wasn't sure that she trusted the little princess not to snap. She couldn't help but feel her fingers tremble. She had come out of that interrogation room with a terrible taste in her mouth. Those detectives knew more than they were letting on.
"How was yours?' Connor asked quietly, as he approached her. He stood beside her, clutching his jacket around him. He had the same, nervous air that he'd been carrying ever since the murder. "Did they trip you up anywhere?"
"Not exactly," Lexi replied. She felt her hands continue to tremble. "They didn't ask me anything I wasn't prepared to answer, but there was just something about it that felt wrong. I don't know if they really knew more than they were letting on, or if they just wanted to make it seem that way."
Connor stiffened. "What do you mean?"
"Come on. These cops have interrogation tactics. They make it seem like they already know, just so that you spill everything. I think they were using that on me," Lexi replied. She wasn't so sure, but Connor's sudden nervousness forced her to try and calm him down. "Look, it's fine. Wes and Laurel didn't have any trouble. As long as Michaela keeps her cool, we might be able to make it through this stage."
Connor took a deep breath and looked at her. "I don't believe you."
"What other choice do we have?" Lexi demanded. "We have to do this, so we may as well go through with it as confidently as we can. There's no use panicking now."
"That's not true," Connor replied quietly. He took a deep breath. "I know you're going to freak out on me, but try to think rationally when I say this, okay? I think we should go to the cops and confess. You and me, maybe even Michaela and Laurel if we can convince them."
Lexi felt her heart drop down into her stomach. "You're crazy," she whispered.
"I'm not," Connor replied firmly. He glanced around to ensure nobody was nearby and lowered his voice. "What's crazy is us sticking our necks out for something that Wes and Rebecca did. We didn't do anything that night. We were just caught up in the tussle."
"It's a little late for that," Lexi snapped. She couldn't believe that they were discussing this in the middle of the police headquarters. She could feel her heart thudding. She turned to look at Connor- he was perfectly serious. "Rationally? Connor, we fucking helped burn the body. If we wanted to pin it on them, we shouldn't have helped cover up the evidence!"
"It's still justifiable," Connor insisted. "We can say that we were in shock. You even have your anxiety to back you up, explain why we panicked that night. We'll plead to a felony, testify against Wes and Rebecca. The DA will give us a good deal."
Lexi felt her heartbeat increase as his words sunk in. "We'll still go to jail," she whispered.
"But a felony conviction can't stop us from sitting for the bar. We'll still get to be lawyers. Our careers can still work out, Lexi. Think about this rationally." He grabbed her hand, and pressed it insistently. Lexi could feel her head spinning. Was Connor right? Did they need to do this? Lexi took a deep breath. Maybe she should go along with it. Anything was better than this constant fear, this worry that they would be caught. Lexi opened her mouth, but closed it as soon as she saw a familiar figure coming down the corridor.
"Asher's coming," Lexi mumbled. Connor released her hand and stepped back, just as Asher walked by with a grin, his hands in his pockets. He stopped near them.
"Hey peeps. What's the scene here?" he asked lightly, noticing the tense expressions on both of their faces. He glanced at Lexi and saw that she was pale. Her gaze was fixed on the ground and he frowned at her with concern. "Lexi? Hey babe, are you okay?" Asher asked, reaching out a hand to brush his thumb over her cheek.
Connor pulled his jacket tighter around himself, letting out a derisive snort. "Babe. Wow."
Lexi frowned. She took a deep breath and gently pushed Asher's hand away. As much as she loved him, it was hard to look him in the eye. Things were too complicated at the moment for her to have to deal with Asher as well. "I'm fine," Lexi replied quietly, before suddenly remembering. "Did you tell the cops that I came to your doorstep, upset? Why did you have to say that? They were questioning me about it."
Asher frowned. "Come on, Lex, I couldn't lie so obviously. They wanted to know why you came over to my place even though we'd had a messy break-up, so I said that you were upset about something and that you didn't want to talk about it."
Lexi groaned. She felt the urge to slap Asher. Connor looked between them, worried. "You didn't think to give me a heads-up on that? I told them that I'd been having fun at the bonfire all night and then they asked me why I was upset. What the hell was I supposed to tell them, genius?"
Asher rubbed the back of his neck. "You could have told them the truth."
Lexi glared at him. She let out another groan and let her head fall back against the wall, the bruise behind her head making her wince. She couldn't deal with this. So many lies, that she was barely able to keep track of them all. "Fuck you, Asher," she snapped. "All you ever do is make my life more difficult."
Asher sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't realize they were going to question you on that, okay? It's not too late, you can still go and tell the cops." He turned and looked at Connor. "Do you really think that it's a good idea that she's keeping the fact that she was sexually assaulted from the cops?"
Connor raised an eyebrow. "I think she can do whatever she wants, and you should respect that."
There was a short silence, as Asher sighed and ran his hand over his face. He lowered his voice. "Look, babe, I'm sorry I-"
"First of all, stop calling me that," Lexi muttered. She was feeling frustrated and the sight of Asher served to irritate her further. "Secondly, I can't believe that you didn't have the decency to respect what I asked you for. It wasn't a lot. Okay? I really don't want to deal with you right now." She turned away, grabbing Connor's sleeve and pulling him out of the precinct building. Connor glanced back to look at Asher, who was standing where they'd left him.
"He looks like a kicked puppy," Connor said, as they stepped outside into the cool air. Lexi whirled around and shook her head.
"Forget him. If we go through with what you're suggesting, then he'll find out the rape thing was a lie anyway. Our relationship will be beyond repair." Lexi took a deep breath and looked at Connor. "Connor, I want to confess. I really do. But it's just…"
"Your Dad."
"Exactly. I can't face him."
"Look, Lex. Would you rather he found out that you confessed, or that you lied about your guilt and then went to jail? Because I think he'd respect you more for your honesty."
"You're right," Lexi whispered. She took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm in."
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Lexi felt her phone ring in her pocket as they exited the courtroom, having just proved that Sam Keating was the one who murdered Lila Stangard. It all seemed like one dream; but it didn't change the fact that she was about to go to the police and confess to a murder. She paused at the steps to the courthouse, pulling out her phone and checking the caller ID.
It was her Dad.
Lexi felt her hands tremble. She couldn't talk to him. He'd probably heard about Sam Keating going missing, maybe even that she'd been interviewed by the cops. David Gray would ask a lot of questions and Lexi wasn't sure that she could handle them with a straight face. She'd message him later. That way if she broke down, he wouldn't know.
"You gonna go talk to doucheface?" Connor asked, as he caught up to her on the steps. "He was making eyes at you throughout the trial."
Lexi sighed, looking back and noticing Asher a little distance behind them. "Once we confess, he'll hate me. He'll know that the entire rape story was a lie. God, it's such a mess, Connor. How did we get ourselves into this?" she whispered. Connor sighed, putting an arm around her shoulder.
"We'll manage," he promised. He glanced towards Michaela and Laurel. "They're in too. The four of us will drive down later tonight, okay? Just stay calm, don't do anything stupid until then." He glanced down at the vibrating phone in her hand. "Don't answer that."
"I wasn't going to," Lexi mumbled. She stuffed the phone in her pocket.
"Do you need a ride?"
"You go ahead. I'll talk to doucheface," she replied with a sigh. Connor nodded and left, while Lexi looked up and made eye contact with Asher. He seemed a little surprised, but he slowly made his way over to her. His hands were in his pockets and he looked hesitant as he came to stand in front of Lexi. She gave him a weak smile. "I guess this mess is over, huh?"
"Yeah," Asher replied quietly. He sighed. "Lexi, I'm really sorry about what I said to the cops. It was a slip of tongue. I didn't mean to do it, I swear."
"I know," Lexi replied. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad."
"I keep screwing up. I really want to be there for you through all of this, I just don't know how," Asher admitted quietly. "And I know you still hate me because I cheated. Which was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I'd do anything to take it back, I really would. Maybe then you wouldn't have gone to the bonfire alone and this wouldn't have happened to you."
Lexi raised an eyebrow. "You're responsible for your own mistakes, Asher, you're not responsible for mine."
Asher sighed. He leaned forward and placed his hands on Lexi's cheeks, gently cupping her face. "I feel responsible for a lot of things, including screwing up the most amazing girl that ever entered my life," he mumbled. "When did we become such a mess? I always felt like things were always so simple between us."
"Things can't stay simple forever," Lexi replied. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.
"Why not? I love you. Why can't it be that simple?"
"Because it's not." She leaned up, pressing her lips to his. Asher kissed her gently, his hands caressing her face as he pulled her closer. Lexi felt a familiar tug in her stomach. It was always there- whenever she touched Asher, whenever she looked at him. She couldn't be thinking about this. Lexi was about to confess to a felony, she was going to be spending years in jail. She gently pulled away, noticing the longing look in his eyes. "Don't look at me like that," she mumbled.
"I can't help it," Asher replied. He bit his lip, gently rubbing his thumb over her cheek. "Lexi, tell me the truth. What are we doing? Is there any chance we can try to work on us, or are we just going to keep hurting each other?"
Lexi took a deep breath. She couldn't do this. All she could think about was stepping into that police station to give them a confession. "You know what? I can't answer that question right now. But I think you might get your answer tomorrow."
Asher nodded. "Okay. If you need time, that's fine. I'll wait for you, Lexi."
Lexi gave him a forced smile. Asher Millstone probably didn't realize that waiting for her could mean anywhere from a couple of years to life.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Michaela was laughing hysterically. Lexi was sitting stiffly in the front passenger seat of Connor's SUV. She hadn't realized until she got in, how painful it was to sit in the same car which they had used to dispose of Sam Keating's body. She could see Connor's hand trembling where it rested on the stick shift.
"What's so funny?" Connor asked, as they pulled into the parking lot. Michaela was looking at her phone, the hysterical laughs still pouring from her mouth. Lexi felt the odd urge to laugh along with her. After all, it was a little too late to cry. The situation was so horrible, it was almost funny.
"It's my bridal boutique," Michaela giggled, as she scrolled through her phone. "They want to confirm a dress fitting!" Lexi bit her lip, feeling a mild rush of pity for the girl. It was odd; the first time she'd felt pity for her was when they were about to confess to murder. Maybe it was a good thing. They might even end up in the same prison; it would be nice to have a familiar face around, even if it was Michaela Pratt.
Connor sighed. "Look. If Aiden doesn't want to marry you that just means there's someone better around the corner."
Lexi felt her heart clench. "Yeah? You gonna help me find a new Dad, too?" she asked him lightly.
Connor raised an eyebrow. "What is your problem? For once, I am trying to make this easier on everybody. Your Dad will be fine, Lex. He's a strong chap, okay? He'll forgive you."
Lexi felt her heartbeat thud as she opened the car door and stepped out. She remembered approaching the police station so many times as a kid; usually it was out of excitement. She would get to see her Dad, he might let her touch his taser or show her the witness examination rooms. He'd let her play with the fingerprint ink once, when she was just about 5. She'd made a huge mess in his office, making little purple fingerprints all over the wall.
He hadn't gotten mad. He never got mad.
He just got disappointed.
Lexi remembered the pride that she'd felt when she showed her father her acceptance letter to Middleton. He'd kissed her on the forehead, told her that he was so proud to have her as a daughter. Lexi felt her stomach lurch violently. She grabbed a hold of Connor's jacket sleeve, and she felt her legs turn to jelly. "Connor, I can't do this," she murmured. He turned to look at her sharply. "I can't go in there, I can't do it."
Connor frowned. "Lexi, don't freak out on me now."
"I can't-I can't- how will I ever look my Dad in the eye? He won't believe it… he'll never believe that his daughter confessed to murder, I can't shame him like this-"
Connor grasped her wrist tightly. "Lexi, look at me. This is simple. Either we go now, like this, or we go later, in handcuffs. What do you want?"
Lexi closed her eyes. "I… I don't know…"
She felt Connor release her wrist and opened her eyes. He was staring in the direction of the police station, his eyes wide. Lexi whirled around and saw the car parked across their path. The door opened fluidly and Annalise Keating stepped out of it.
"What are they doing here?" Michaela asked, as Annalise and Wes began to walk towards them. Lexi felt herself tremble. They knew. They'd figured it out; but what difference did it make, whether they confessed or Annalise turned them in? "How could she know we were coming here right now?"
All three of them whirled around and faced Laurel, who had a perfectly calm expression on her face. "I had to," she replied simply.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Asher Millstone opened the door late that night. Lexi was standing on the doorstep, her arms full of books and files. He blinked at her, almost unsurprised. She seemed to turn up at all hours of the night so often that he almost expected her now.
"Lexi?" he asked, before opening the door wider. "What are you doing here? We have a Criminal Law exam in 12 hours."
"Exactly," Lexi replied, as she dumped half the books and files in her arms into his hands. Asher grunted as he took their weight and closed the front door after her with his foot. He blinked at her in surprise as she began speaking rapidly. "Okay, so these are all the textbooks I managed to issue from the library which have limited copies, those are the notes I gathered from whoever I could cheat them out of, I have about three different outlines and two sets of past question papers. Including a bunch of articles and materials on my laptop."
Asher blinked as he shifted the books in his arms. "Wow. That's a lot of study material. Hey; I've been trying to issue this book from the library for weeks, it's never available!"
Lexi gave him a small smile. "You're welcome. Now come on. We have an exam in 12 hours."
Asher paused in the doorway, watching as Lexi settled herself down in the couch and uncapped her highlighter pen with a pop. He carefully set the books down and then sat beside her, taking a deep breath. "Lexi."
Lexi looked up and paused when she saw the expression in his eyes. She hesitated. "Do you not want me here?" she asked quietly. She suddenly felt stupid. "Look, I shouldn't have barged in like that, I just-"
"What?" Asher asked. "No. That's not it at all. I would love to study with you, I just… I thought you needed time. It's only been a few hours."
"Screw time," Lexi replied. I'm not sure how much I have left.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
A/N – Phew! Longest chapter ever! I haven't seen the new season yet, but I really hope Asher/Bonnie isn't important. Because if it is, I don't have a clue what I'll do. Anyway, hope you guys are enjoying and leave a review!