Author's Note:
This was a difficult chapter to write, so I edited it, re-edited it and then edited again. Yes, I basically chewed on it in some fashion or another for a month. I love EDI, but making her sound authentic—at least in my head—is difficult for me. Thankfully my beta reader, Lyaksandra, is a great sounding board and connoisseur of all things A.I. If you don't believe me, check out her ME story featuring EDI (Craving Physical Contact) or any one of her TSCC stories. And for all of those who are still following this story… Thank you.

Technical refresher: QEC – Quantum Entanglement Communicator.

Chapter 18

While the party raged in the starboard observation lounge, Lakota strolled casually through the empty corridors of the Normandy. This was a comfortable routine she had developed after being assigned to the original frigate and the habit continued once she had taken command of the SR-2. When she was sorely agitated and her thoughts too rampant to be reined in or subdued by slumber or meditation, this activity helped quiet her mind and soothe whatever physical tension plagued her body allowing her to refocus her energies and feel more in control of the moment.

"Or at least give the illusion of control," she thought sardonically.

Because the Normandy was still dry-docked and technically undergoing repairs, only a superfluous skeleton crew was on duty monitoring key systems and finishing some last minute projects. The main complement of the ship's crew had arrived earlier in the day, but their official shifts weren't scheduled to start until the following morning, at which time the last of the repair crews would depart. Then, they would leave Earth's orbit and embark on an unprecedented trek to solve the mystery of the red wave of energy.

Lakota sighed wistfully. She absolutely cherished these therapeutic moments of wandering through the frigate, but during the Reaper war they had become more and more sporadic until one day, after securing the aid of the Krogan on Palaven, she realized they no longer took place. Stress, remorse, and responsibility had taken priority and superseded any activity perceived as idle time. Even if it was time well spent. Before the war, while hunting for the missing human colonists, rarely did a day pass without her roaming through the corridors, but while going through the most pivotal time in her generation's history, enduring the harsh and unrelenting stress of one Reaper incursion after the other, she allotted no time for the assumed indulgence. In hindsight, she realized the lapse was a costly omission affecting both her emotional and mental fronts. So, while lying in the hospital bed recovering from her most recent injuries, she vowed to never repeat the same mistake.

After reacquainting herself with Engineering, the Spectre's somewhat impromptu journey led her to the A.I. core, a small room directly accessed by walking through the medical bay. It functioned as the ship's main server room and also where the core of EDI's programming was stored. She crossed the distance to the alcove at the back of the room, activated her omni-tool, then set two small disc-like objects on the bench embedded in the recessed wall. The disc with one center button was a signal jammer which was designed to disrupt both video and audio monitoring devices. The other disc was a prototype QEC. Lakota pressed the center button of the signal jammer and the ring of white lights on the QEC began to flash. Promptly, she waved her omni-tool over it and a full-size hologram of a hooded figure appeared next to her.

"Hey, Shep!"

"Hey, Kasumi." Lakota tapped a few commands into her omni-tool, then focused on the image to her right. "Is your area secured?"

"Please," the thief chided in disbelief. "This isn't my first covert op, you know."

"Maybe you're rusty."

"Don't tease me. I've kept my skills honed while helping the Crucible project. By the way, you would not believe how many credits Cerberus leaves just lying around in the open. Oh… and you were right about the Alliance. They didn't check my pockets for any missing tech when the project ended."

Her voiced laced with playful sarcasm, Lakota said, "At least one of us came away with souvenirs."

Kasumi tilted her head, her image scrutinizing the Spectre from head to toe. "So… Shep?"

"Yes?"

"All of this cloak and dagger stuff is unlike you. What's going on?"

"I thought I'd change things up a bit. You know, try something new for a change."

"Uh-huh. Sure." The tone of Kasumi's voice clearly indicated she didn't believe the Spectre.

Lakota glanced at her omni-tool, then back to the hologram. "Did you have any trouble with the upload?"

"I'm the best thief in the business, not the clumsiest."

"Yeah, but you weren't stealing anything this time."

"Stealth was still required."

"And style?"

Kasumi grinned. "Everything I do is done with style. It's what makes me the best."

"And you are definitely the best," Lakota said, giving honest praise.

"You say the sweetest things." Kasumi's hologram shimmered when she seemed to poke at the empty air with her fingertip. "How's the gang?"

"They're good. Have to keep Miranda and Jack in opposite corners at all times, though… for the safety of the crew."

"They're still arguing like an old married couple?"

Lakota nodded her head in affirmation. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was some bizarre courting ritual." Then, looking slightly uncomfortable, her right hand rubbed the back of her neck. "How is Dr. Cole holding up?"

The thief hesitated as though gathering her thoughts. "I suppose she's as good as can be expected. Jacob's death… well, you know… it's hard on her, but her pregnancy is going well. She did mention that something unusual happened though."

Looking genuinely intrigued, the Spectre asked, "Oh? What was that?"

"Apparently, Jacob set up a secret trust fund for their daughter."

"Did he?" Lakota said evenly. "That doesn't seem too unusual."

"That's not, but the large amount of creds in the account is."

"Maybe he stockpiled his money while working for Cerberus."

"That's what Brynn assumes, but I had my suspicions, so I checked into it."

Lakota coughed uncomfortably. "You did? And what did you find?"

"That you're a really good friend."

Deflecting the praise, the Spectre said, "It wasn't all me, Liara and Miranda are the ones who made it happen." Lakota thought back to the conversation she'd had with both women after finding out about Jacob's death. They each agreed that setting up the trust fund in his name with his daughter as the beneficiary would be a nice tribute to the man who wanted so badly to be a better father than his own. "Don't tell Brynn."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Good."

The thief appeared to poke at the empty air again and just as before her hologram shimmered. "Hey, I don't suppose you could get me one of these mini-QECs. Handy way to communicate."

Shaking her head, the Spectre replied, "Sorry, this pair doesn't officially exist. But… hypothetically, you may want to check with… oh, I don't know… Salarian R&D facilities."

"I'll keep that hypothetical advice in mind." Still grinning, Kasumi looked left, right, then focused back on the Spectre. "So where are you and crew heading? The scuttlebutt on the station is that the Normandy's been picked for a secret mission involving dark energy. Another is that you're all indoctrinated and heading to some central location to meet up with other 'indoctrinates' where you'll plot your imminent revenge."

"There are rumors?" Lakota scoffed. "Already? We haven't even left Earth's orbit!"

"The Normandy's requisition papers to go through the Mass Relay caused quite the commotion." Shrugging her shoulders, Kasumi added, "Personally, I like the one about you heading off to stop the zombie apocalypse. I started that one."

The Spectre rolled her eyes in amusement. "Thanks. For now though, it's best that you don't know where we're going."

"Have it your way, Shep." Crossing her arms in front of her chest, the thief quipped, "You know I could find out if I really wanted to."

Chuckling, Lakota said, "I'm sure you could." Looking at the countdown on her omni-tool, she saw their time with the experimental QEC was almost finished. "Hey, Kasumi…"

"Hm?"

"Thanks for all of your help. I owe you."

"The way I see it, we all owe you a debt of gratitude, Shep. Good luck... with whatever you're doing."

Smiling, Lakota said, "Thanks. Again."

The holographic image faded, then immediately afterward the signal jammer started to smoke.

Raising an irritated eyebrow, the Spectre muttered, "One use. Brilliant. Mordin would have been embarrassed for all Salarians."

"Embarrassed about what, Shepard?"

Lakota nimbly pocketed the mini-QEC then spun around to greet the expected newcomer. "EDI! You're right on time. Thanks for meeting me." Holding up the smoking disc, she explained, "This is what Mordin would have been embarrassed about. It's a Salarian design."

The A.I.'s mobile platform stepped into the room and the doors slid shut behind her. "Is that what caused the sensory blackout in this room for 4.37 minutes?"

"Yes," Lakota said, circumventing the whole truth with deft finesse. "It's a signal jammer. I was hoping to keep our meeting confidential." While not a complete lie, the device that went up in smoke was a signal jammer, and the exchange the Spectre wanted to keep confidential—even from EDI—was Kasumi's. Narrowing her gaze at the inert device, she added, "Apparently, that's not going to happen now."

"We could have this conversation on any one of the ship's terminals and it would remain private. My security protocols and cyber warfare suite are far more advanced than any we have encountered with the exception of the Reapers… but they are no longer an issue."

"You're right, of course, but I, like others on the ship, prefer to interact with you this way. Intellectually I know you're in every facet of the ship and that there are many different options I could use to talk with you but, pardon the pun, this just seems more organic to me." Chuckling as though amused by her own joke, the Spectre said, "Remember when you were just represented by a floating holographic blue sphere? That was a little weird."

"The Alliance retrofit team removed those holographic interfaces while you were incarcerated."

The Spectre looked at EDI, her expression full of curiosity. "Do you miss them?"

"No."

"Um… okay." Lakota opened her mouth as though to say something, but then changed her mind and chose to stay silent because the questions she had could bring about a Pandora's box of other issues. She took in a slow, deep breath, her brow furrowing in thoughtful contemplation, then reconsidered her decision and turned her questioning gaze toward the synthetic form. "Really? It didn't bother you at all that a military organization that you're not affiliated with commandeered the Normandy… which in a way is part of you, then proceeded to alter the ship's design to their own specifications?"

EDI tilted her head slightly. Although Lakota knew such an inflection was functionally unnecessary to the A.I., it was obvious that EDI had quickly learned that mimicking the subtle mannerisms of human body language greatly reduced any possible tensions when interacting with organics.

"The processes that contribute to my self-awareness are spread throughout the ship, but the removal of the projectors did not hinder this awareness. The only purpose they served was to simplify communication with the crew."

"So nothing about the retrofit bothered you?" Lakota slowly shook her head, her lips pursing together as though in disgust. "I know I'm assigning organic emotions to the event, but I was angry for you when I saw some of the so-called upgrades."

"At the time, I had no concept of what having a presence meant, so the structural redesign of the Normandy did not—as you say—bother me. But my self-awareness is partly tied to the inputs received from the various cameras and listening devices throughout the ship. When the Alliance technicians attempted to remove or relocate those inputs, I interceded."

"Interceded?"

"The ship's crew did not reveal that I was a true A.I., so the Alliance repair team thought I still had V.I. programming constraints. When their modifications targeted my inputs, I redirected their attention by creating a problem in another area of the ship. When they eventually requested a diagnostic report, the results indicated that any alteration to the internal sensory array would cause catastrophic system failures throughout the ship."

Lakota laughed out loud, her green eyes twinkling in merriment. She was thoroughly entertained by the cartoon images dancing in her head depicting the repair crew being unwittingly manipulated by an unshackled A.I. "That's priceless!" she choked out. "And clever."

After the Spectre seemed to catch her breath, EDI stated, "Shepard, I have a question." Although an artificially constructed being, the tone of her voice was unmistakably inquisitive.

Being all too familiar with EDI's questions, which usually involved the nature of organic existence, Lakota took a deep breath and prepared herself for the unknown. "Oh boy… Okay, EDI, what's your question?"

"While you were recovering from your injuries, Jeff and I, along with other crew members, visited the hospital. Although regulated to the bed, you were alert and interactive, engaging in conversation with the others in the room. My question is this: Why did you watch me as though scrutinizing me, and yet say nothing?"

Lakota sighed heavily. She should have known EDI would have noticed her odd behavior. "Actually, that's one of the reasons I asked you to meet me today. I want you to know the truth about what occurred on the Citadel. It may clear a few things up for you."

EDI adjusted her feet so they were shoulder width apart, then clasped her hands behind her back. "Please proceed."

Over the last few days, Lakota had given a lot of thought about what she wanted to tell EDI and how much was appropriate to reveal. There were a few things, such as her moment with Anderson, that were extremely personal and had no bearing on the choices she made that day. So, with Liara acting as both counsel and a sounding board, the Spectre was able to figure out exactly what she wanted to say.

Nodding slowly, she began her version of events with the sprint toward the beam of white light shining down from the sky and her first moments after being transported to the Citadel. She described meeting the Catalyst and the story it relayed about the Reapers, the cycle, and the Crucible. Then, she recited the options it presented, the ramifications of each, and the decision she ultimately made. She held nothing back, not the fact that the Geth were supposed to die, that EDI was supposed to die and how she was supposed to perish in the destruction as well. She did this without inflection or added emotion or apology. She spoke as though she was giving a mission debriefing to the Alliance Command Council.

Throughout the story the only indication that the Spectre's inner self wasn't as composed as her outer self was reflected by her right hand's subconscious need to rub the left side of her torso as though remembering the vicious wound that once existed there. When she was finished, they both looked at each other for a long moment, but before the A.I. could say anything, Lakota raised her hand, a nonverbal queue to hold a moment. As she collected her thoughts, her gaze unintentionally wandered to the array of blinking lights on the A.I. servers. Their quiet but colorful dance was mesmerizing.

"I'm telling you all of this because I think you have the right to know the whole truth." Shaking her head, she admitted, "I've gone over those moments on the Citadel a thousand times since waking up in the hospital and each time I make the same choice. Each time I feel sadness and despair for the innocent lives that are about to end. I feel the loss of never being able to say goodbye to those I love, but I also feel the burning in the pit of my stomach, the fire that tells me my choice is the right one to make."

As though sensing the Spectre had more to say, EDI remained silent, her form perfectly immobile, exhibiting a state of unnatural stillness that could only be maintained by a synthetic form.

Trying to ease the growing tension between her shoulder blades, the Spectre rubbed the back of her neck with her right hand. "So you see, the red wave wasn't some random occurrence. I triggered it. I made the choice to destroy the Reapers and that choice should have also ended your existence along with mine and the Geth."

"But it did not."

Lakota's sharp gaze had returned to EDI, the flashing lights of the A.I. core illuminated the synthetic body's metal skin in an unnatural halo. "Obviously." Raking her fingers roughly through strands of black hair, she added, "Either I was lied to and the Catalyst didn't know what it was talking about or something altered the energy, changed its parameters. I don't know what happened, but I'm going to find out. That's the goal of our current mission, but that's also a discussion for later."

"Do you plan on having this same conversation with the Geth?"

"No. Only you." The Spectre sighed as her shoulders dropped slightly, then she took a half step backward and sat on the edge of the embedded bench. After crossing her arms in front of her chest, she expanded on her answer. "Once the Alliance receives my final report, if they decide to share the information with the Geth, then that's on them. Right now, this… between you and I… that's on me."

"Although not organic, I have had the opportunity to observe many crew members reacting to a wide range of diverse experiences and am able to identify their various emotional states with 98.3 percent accuracy."

Perplexed by EDI's shift in topic, the Spectre said, "And how is that relevant to our current discussion?"

"You are exhibiting signs of emotional distress."

The Spectre chuckled ruefully. "Am I?" she challenged.

"Your defensive posture, the tone of your voice and the fact that your eyes continue to shift to the ground suggests that you are experiencing guilt. The subject matter of the conversation we are having suggests your guilt revolves around me."

Lakota tilted her head, a delicate smile playing on her lips as she carefully scrutinized the being in front of her. EDI was chock full of surprises. "True enough," she admitted reluctantly. After all, there was no lying to an A.I. who could read the most insignificant physical gesture and extrapolate its significance. "Remind me to bring you along to my next meeting with the Council."

"I am ignoring your attempt at humorous diversion, Shepard," EDI stated succinctly. "However, I would like to ask you a few questions for clarification."

The Spectre shifted her weight settling into a more comfortable seated position on the bench. "Ask away," she said, her voice laced with a weary sigh. She knew the A.I. was capable of asking brutally honest questions especially when it came to a sensitive subject matter.

"Did you want my existence terminated?"

And the first query lived up to those brutally honest standards.

Disturbed by the question and its implication, a deep frown etched into the Spectre's brow. "No," she growled, "of course not."

"But you thought the decision would produce such an outcome."

"Yes."

"And you thought the decision would end your own existence, as well."

"Yes."

"You were willing to die to save others."

Sighing in exasperation, Lakota said, "Yes."

"So you made a decision to end the Reapers, and my termination along with the Geth and your own was a byproduct."

"Yes."

"I do not understand your dilemma. Your guilt is misplaced. I told you before that I would risk non-functionality for Jeff. That is no different than your willingness to face death to save Liara or making the decision to end the Reapers knowing your life was forfeit."

The fingers of Lakota's right hand pinched the bridge of her nose as an exhausted look took hold of her features. "You did tell me that, but that was a choice you were making, not a choice someone else made for you."

"But in this instance, the choice you made and the one I would have made are the same. Like you, I would have given up my existence to stop the Reapers."

The Spectre tilted her head, her eyes reflecting the disbelief in her thoughts. Then, she nodded automatically as she processed EDI's words. "I didn't consider that possibility."

"You should have."

Lakota smiled as she rolled her eyes in amusement. "You're as bad as Liara."

"Humor is good for your health. It relieves tension while elevating mood and feelings of well-being. It also increases your ability to cope with stress, by providing an alternative, less serious perspective on perceived problems. You should consider experiencing more of it."

"Thank you, Dr. EDI," Lakota said sarcastically. "I'll work on it."

Although she was teasing, the Spectre was actually surprised at how accurate EDI's words were. She felt unburdened after telling her story and hearing the A.I.'s subsequent comments regarding misplaced guilt. It would take some time, and probably a conversation or two with Liara before all of the demons could be put to rest, but with each passing moment, she felt a significant weight lift from her shoulders.

Abruptly, Lakota realized that she had taken too long in her musing when she heard EDI say, "If that is all, Commander…"and then turned to head towards the door.

"EDI, wait!" The Spectre stood, then took a step toward the A.I.'s synthetic body. She was feeling somewhat raw after just having relived the nightmarish events on the Citadel, but took a deep breath and forcibly put those feeling to the side. There would be time to sift through them later. "I need your help with something. If you're willing, that is."

"Shepard, are we not friends?"

Lakota's right hand moved to her neck, her fingers slipping beneath the collar of her shirt and then pulled out the chain of her identification tags. At the end of the chain, dangling with the two small metal plates was a ring, the victory ring EDI had given to her as a token of their friendship. "Did you know this saved my life?"

"How? It is only a ring."

"While searching for me in building debris, Samara noticed something reflective in a pile of rubble. This ring. I was a few feet away, but covered in dirt and ash with half a building on top of me. She would never have seen me otherwise." Lakota held the ring between her forefinger and thumb, admiring its craftsmanship. Even after everything she had put the thing through, it hadn't acquired a single scratch. It looked as pristine as the day EDI gave it to her. "They would have found me eventually, but without this ring, they may not have found me in time."

"Then I am... glad I gave it to you."

"So am I. And seeing that I'm still wearing it, it's safe to assume that I still consider us friends."

"Since it appears I saved your life, your response seems only appropriate."

Lakota stared at the synthetic form, slack jawed with a befuddled expression on her face.

"That was a joke."

Managing a bemused grin, Lakota replied, "You're awful. Funny, but awful."

"But you still require my help?"

"Yes," the Spectre said. She handed EDI a datachip. "I need you to analyze this data on the Geth and I need you to do it without anyone else knowing about it."

"What I am looking for?"

"Numbers. On this chip is all of the raw data on current Geth activity throughout the galaxy. This information comes from multiple sources, the Alliance, Quarians, Salarians, along with a whole list of others, including the Geth themselves. I need you to extrapolate all the relevant data and estimate the size of the current Geth population. Then I need you to compare it to all the data you gathered while helping Legion with the Heretics."

"You rewrote the Heretics."

Lakota nodded her head in affirmation. "When Legion and his faction of Geth were too conflicted to make the decision and asked me to make it, I knew war was coming, so instead of destroying them, I chose to rewrite them." Sighing, she added, "And that decision bit me in the ass when I found out they just sided with the Reapers again."

"That was unfortunate, but also unforeseeable."

Bitterly, the Spectre growled, "I suppose." Then, after pursing her lips in disgust, she turned her gaze back to EDI. "I know you were monitoring the situation when the Geth Heretics were rewritten and if I'm correct, I bet you know how many Geth platforms were affected by that rewrite and the total Geth population afterward. I have a theory about the red energy, but in order to confirm it I need those numbers and the number of the Geth's current population."

"You think the energy wave targeted the Geth platforms with original Reaper code."

"I think it targeted anything and everything with Sovereign's original Reaper code."

EDI seemed to process this as new information because she hesitated momentarily. "I am in part designed by technology gained from Sovereign's remains and therefore, at least partially, am based on that specific Reaper technology."

"Yes, but I suspect because of your individual and unique evolution, by altering your own programming parameters you changed the playing field which allowed you to successfully fend off the attack."

"That is an intriguing theory, Shepard."

"Thanks, but right now it is only a theory and I need your help to prove or disprove it. Liara was able to gather all of the information on that chip, but without the data you have on the Geth Heretics the puzzle can't be completed. You have the missing piece."

"I will start on this immediately."

Lakota smiled. The progress made in solving the mystery of the red energy was finally starting to become tangible and real. "Thank you, EDI," she said. "Let me know when you have anything to report." Then, she turned and headed toward the doors which led into the medbay, but just as they opened she heard her named called from behind.

"Shepard?" EDI said.

Pivoting slightly, the Spectre replied, "Yes?"

"I do not normally subscribe to unsubstantiated fact or conjecture, but with your current health concerns I feel it would be negligent of me to omit the information."

Lakota wasn't surprised that EDI was privy to her medical status. Not only was the A.I. linked to the Alliance Medical database, but she also monitored the biometric indicators embedded in her armor. Nonetheless, the Spectre's voice sounded hesitant when she said, "Um… okay…"

"Your resurrection by the Lazarus Project occurred at the same time my creation took place. During that identical period, a larger number of Cerberus cells were experimenting with various applications for the Reaper technology that had been salvaged or stolen from the battle with Sovereign. Your cybernetics may be a product from one of those cells."

"I think Miranda would have mentioned that to me by now."

Countering the Spectre's statement, EDI said, "It is not something Ms. Lawson would have known. Cerberus was divided into numerous independent cells which had no knowledge of their counterparts. This ensured that should one cell be compromised, the others would not be captured. Only the Illusive Man was in contact with the operatives who led the cells, therefore only he knew what project each cell was working on. Cybernetic chips based on Reaper technology could have easily been shipped from one Cerberus facility to the Lazarus Project without anyone noticing."

"And you think this may explain why my cybernetics are failing?"

"I thought it was a theory worth mentioning."

Lakota stood stationary for a moment as if letting the words sink in. Then, she stepped through the open doors.