Soul Song

Chapter two:

He should have pressed for more, he should have insisted to talk with Ichigo about their mutual feelings. Now he was in Seireitei, literally a world away from the person he loved and said person was alive and well and didn't have an ounce of Reiatsu left. Rose looked outside the window, the sun was setting just like on the day they kissed. He remembered Ichigos smile, his soft lips, the twinkle in his eyes as they confessed their love at the same time. It had been almost one year now. One year and he had pleaded and begged them to let him go to the world of the living to speak to Ichigo. But all contact was forbidden, the Vizards as it stood were balancing on a thin rope. Not everybody was happy that they had been reinstalled as Captains and anything out of line or order could send all of them straight into the Maggots nest. Rose couldn't endanger his friends like that, but he had to clear up everything with Ichigo. Talks of giving Ichigo back his powers had been shot down immediately. The Soutaichou had no intention of helping Ichigo, according to him everything had worked out splendidly and Kurosaki Ichigo could now lead a normal life like any other human.

Rose knew his love for the organette was by no means something fleeting. He had never fallen this hard or fast for someone and he knew he would keep on loving him even without seeing him or speaking to him or having the simply pleasure of sharing a smile. There was no helping it. Ichigo would move on. He was alive, he would age, he would marry, he would have a family and the memory of his time with Rose would fade to the back of his mind. A spear of pain shot through Roses heart at the thought, but there was nothing he could do. He kept on living with that thought for five years.

Ichigo was a constant in his head, every song he played, every smile he gave, every sunset he watched, Ichigo was on his mind. Five years and he hadn't seen him, he didn't know where he was or what he was doing. And then it had happened. A whisper among two members of division four. "-rosaki Ichigo. Yes, they say he became a violinist of all things." Was all Rose had heard. A violinist, his Ichigo. Twenty years old and a violinist. He had to hear it. So, he contacted the only person that could travel through Seireitei completely undetected.

"And why should I do that?" A very taken aback Yoruichi Shihoin asked Rose in complete surprise. "To help an old friend?" Rose said, voice hesitant. Yoruichi pulled face and scratched her cheek. "Well, I guess I could take you to the world of the living. But is there any reason you want to go now of all times? It's been five years already…" Rose looked down, oh he had a reason alright. He couldn't stand another day without seeing Ichigo. Knowing he had become a violinist, he had to hear him play at least once. "Not really…" He said, trailing of a little. Yoruichi huffed in frustration. "Alright, keep your dirty little secret. But you own me for this, clear?" She asked him. Rose nodded eagerly.

The next thing he knew they were speeding through Seireitei. A Soul Gate opened in front of them, seemingly out of nowhere. Yoruichi ushered him through after she pressed a small black ball into his hand. "Portable Gigai. Be back before midnight. I'll keep the gate open for you." Was all she said before making a shooing motion and sending him on his way. He rushed through, coming to a skipping halt as he landed far over Karakura town, overlooking the familiar scenery. He landed in a small alley and inflated his gigai. It was wearing a simple pair of black trousers and a light blue button-down shirt. Shrugging he slipped into his Gigai and felxed his hands to get used to the feeling. He quickly jogged down the street. There was only one person that could help him now. Inoue Orihime. She knew him, and she would surely have an idea where Ichigo was. Concentrating he made out her Reiatsu.

He took in the simple flat in fornt of him and knocked on the door three times after taking a deep breath. "Coming." A voice called from the inside. "Yes, how can I…" Her voice trailed off in surprise as she took in Roses form. "Rose-san. What-What are you doing here?" She asked, he eyes had widened almost comically in surprise. Rose took in the changes in her. Her hair was longer, she was wearing an apron and flour was covering her hands.

"Hello Inoue-san." He greeted he with a friendly smile. "I was actually hoping you could tell me the whereabouts of Ichigo-kun." He told her, his smile never wavering. Inoue blinked a few times and smiled kindly. "Ichigo lives in Tokyo now." She told him. Rose looked at her surprised. "Yes, I know, quite the shock isn't it? He became a violinist you see! And he's like super famous now. Normally he wouldn't be here right now but Yuzu-chan graduated a few days ago. If you're lucky he's still staying at the hotel. It's the really big one near the station." She told him, smiling and gesturing in her typical manner. Rose chuckled a little at her antics. "Thank you, Inoue-san. You really helped me." He nodded at her and was about to leave. "Ahh, Rose-san!" He heard her voice call. She stood a little outside of the door, hands wringing in front of her. "He waited." She finally said, turning around she hurried back into the house and shut the door behind her. Leaving Rose to stare in shock at the closed door, trying to process the words just spoken to him.

Breaking into a run he sped through the streets, his feet carrying him and clapping like thunder on the concrete beneath him. He quickly composed himself and stepped into the hotel. Putting on his most charming smile he walked towards the receptionist. "Hello, mademoiselle." He told her, he saw the blush creeping over her face as she was greeted in this fashion. "G-Good day, sir. How can I help you?" She asked, trying to maintain professional while her face turned redder. He was well aware of the many stares and chatter of the female staff as they took in the form of the slightly exotic looking gentleman with the charming smile. "Ahh, you see I was told an old friend would stay here for the night. And I was hoping to greet him before our ways part again." He told her, leaning closer. "It would help me a lot, beautiful mademoiselle, if you could tell me in which room he is staying. I want to surprise him, you see." At that he flashed her another smile and winked. He clearly wasn't above a little flirting if it got him what he wanted. "I-I see. Yes, of course. The name of the person?" She asked him, turning redder and fumbling with the keyboard in front of her. "Kurosaki Ichigo." He told her with a smile. "Ah- Kurosaki-sama is staying in room number 105." She told him, not even bothering with the keyboard or computer. He raised an eyebrow at her knowledge but didn't say anything about it. "I see, thank you very much." With that he swooped down, took ahold of her hand and kissed the back of it with a bow. She looked like she was about to pass out.

Hurrying away he quickly got into an elevator to the first floor. He sprinted down the corridor the second the door opened. With a pounding heart he stopped in front of door number 105. He raised his hand and was about to knock when he heard the faint sounds of a violin being played. He stopped and listened closely as the music became louder. A sad heart wrenching melody. Roses breathing stopped as he stood there for several minutes and let the music wash over him, finally it stopped. Taking another breath, he knocked. Soft footsteps drew closer before the door was opened. There stood Ichigo. His hair was long, brushing past his shoulders and was kept in a messy side braid, falling over his shoulder. He was wearing a pair of black trousers and a white button-down shirt; his feet were bare. He had become even more beautiful. His jaw stood out strongly, his cheeks bones were pointed, a poised nose and a pair of full rose-colored lips.

Rose was pulled out of his staring by a voice. "Rose!" And the next thing he knew he had an armful of Ex-Shinigami holding him close. "Ichigo…" He whispered back. Ichigo slowly let go of him, stepping back a little. He saw Ichigos gaze, full of confusion and happiness. Ichigo stepped aside a little, letting him into the room. Rose stepped inside. A double bed, a desk, a small table with two chairs was all that furnished the room. Turning around when he heard the door close he saw Ichigo standing and looking a little lost. "Ichigo…" Rose called out softly. Ichigo looked at him. "Why? How-? Why now?" Ichigo asked him. He looked so incredibly confused, and it hurt Roses heart to see him like this. Ignoring the two chairs Rose sat on the edge of the bed patting the space next to him to get Ichigo to sit down. Ichigo walked over and let himself sink down next to Rose. "I…I don't know, why now of all times. I needed to see you. I wanted to see you for all these years Ichigo. But as you might know we were reinstalled as Captains…One wrong move and it could have sent us all into the maggot's nest…or worse. I…begged them to let me go and talk to you…begged them to give you back your powers…I am so sorry…I failed you." Rose whispered, his voice broke on many parts. He finally let it all out, the many feelings pilling up over the years. He let his head fall forward into his hands. He had failed so spectacularly. "And-And then I heard some talk…they said you became a violinist. I wanted to hear it…so bad. I know now it was just an excuse. 'The last straw', so to speak. I couldn't take it anymore…I had to see you. I've never…never stopped loving you, Ichigo." At that Rose looked up, lifting his head out of his hands and looking at Ichigo. The sight that greeted him would forever be burned into his mind.

Ichigo was sitting there, one foot pulled under the other and facing him, sitting straight and tears streaming down his face. No sob, no cry left his lips, his mimic didn't even change much but the tears kept streaming and were all Rose could see. He reached out and cupped Ichigos cheeks, whipping away the tears with his thumbs. "Sorry…" Ichigo whispered. "I-I waited…" Ichigo told him. His voice wavering. "And I was never sure…whether you…abandoned me…I couldn't come to see you…I tried…but you were already gone, and I didn't know what to do. I love you, Rose. I really, really do." He told him, looking deeply into his eyes. He saw the pain and heartbreak and love reflecting in them. "I am so sorry…I am so sorry." Was all Rose could say as he pulled Ichigo closer and held him to his chest. Ichigo hugged him back. "I've missed you." Rose whispered to him. And it was true. He had missed this person more than anyone else.

One hundred years away from home couldn't compare to the pain of a few years without Ichigo. "I missed you too." Ichigo mumbled into his neck, breath ghosting over Roses skin. Without doubt or stopping Rose pulled away and kissed Ichigo. And Ichigo kissed back. Despair and pain and longing mixing into it. They pulled apart, panting into the quietness of the room. "How long can you stay?" Ichigo asked him. Rose chanced a quick glance at the clock. It was seven o'clock in the evening. "I can stay until midnight. I didn't really get permission to be here. Yoruichi helped me." Rose admitted softly. "I see." Ichigo said looking down. "Will you come back?" Ichigo asked. He wasn't looking Rose in the eye, staring intensely at the carpet instead, he didn't want him to see the true despair he felt asking this question. "I don't know." Rose said, his voice broke, with trembling hands he reached out and pulled Ichigo close. "I don't know." He whispered again. Ichigo dug his fingers into his back, holding him close.

"Rose…" Ichigos voice was hesitant. Rose inched back a little and looked at Ichigos face, the younger man was chewing at his bottom lip and seemed to contemplate something. Suddenly Ichigo looked up, a fire was lit in his eyes but to Roses surprise a blush seemed to creep over his face at the same time. "I…uhh…" Ichigo looked down again, losing some of his determination. Rose looked at him in amusement. "You can tell me Ichigo." Rose told him, touching his chin to make him look up. Ichigos cheeks were red, his ears burning up and he was gnashing his teeth slightly. "Urg-Fine! But don't you dare laugh." He told him, blush still full force but a threatening glare on his face. "Promise." Rose told him solemnly, curious as to where this was going. Ichigo took a deep breath. "I want you to…" The last part of the sentence was mumbled so quietly that Rose looked at Ichigo in confusion. "I'm sorry what? I didn't quiet understand that." Ichigo looked up his face still burning and getting redder with every second. "I want you to…make love to me." Ichigo told him, he was definitely not looking at Rose now, staring at the wall like he wished to burn a hole through it. Rose sat there in surprise, whatever he had been expecting this was not it. He wanted to make love to Ichigo. He truly did, he loved him after all, it was natural. But he hadn't given it thought right now. Reaching out he directed Ichigos chin to look at him. "Are you sure?" He asked, he got a nod in return. "Why now?" Rose asked him softly. Ichigo looked at him with an inquiring look. "Isn't it obvious?" He asked, Rose shook his head. "This might very well be the last time I ever see you. I want you to be my first." Ichigo told him, blushing as he spoke but holding Roses gaze. Roses eyes softened. "I see." He whispered. Leaning closer he pressed a gentle kiss to Ichigos lips. "I will stop, if you want me to." Rose whispered into his skin as he slowly kissed his way down Ichigos neck, making him gasp. He pulled Ichigo up and made him lay in the middle of the bed, crawling over him and kissing him deeply. Ichigo pulled him down, running his fingers through his hair and down his back.

An hour later they laid in bed, cloths discarded next to it and long limbs tangled together as they held each other close. Rose pressed a soft kiss to Ichigos brow, Ichigo looked up his head resting on Roses shoulder and hand on his hip, drumming a rhythm Rose didn't know. "I want to come again, but if I do it to regularly they will notice. Slipping out every month or week won't work for long, if they let this slide at all." Rose said softly. "Five years…" Ichigo said softly, Rose looked at him in question. "It took us five years to get here…If I need to I'll wait another five until I see you again." Ichigo told him softly. "Are you sure? Five years is a long time, Ichigo." Ichigo smiled a little painfully at him. "I know, but not seeing you at all is even worse." He told him, brown eyes filled with pain. Rose pulled him closer.

"Then, five years from now, on this day I will see you again." Rose whispered. "Can you come to Tokyo? I mean we can always meet here if it is to inconvenient, but I guess…a home is way better than a hotel room." Ichigo told him. "Hmm…shouldn't be a problem." Ichigo pulled away a little and reached out to the nightstand getting a pen and paper he wrote something down. Rose looked at him in question. "My address." Ichigo said. "You can't really find me by Reiatsu sensing, so it has to be the old-fashioned way." Ichigo told him with a grin. Rose laughed and took the paper. The next hours left to them they spend in each other's arms, talking softly. Ichigo played a song for him.

When the clock showed fifteen minutes to Midnight Rose stood at the door. He was fully dressed, the paper with Ichigos address safely tucked into his pocket. Ichigo was standing close to him, his fist clenching at his side. Rose reached out and pulled Ichigo into another searing kiss, tasting the sharp and sweet of his lips and something purely Ichigo. "I love you." Rose said, as he pulled away. "I love you too." Ichigo said back. "Listen to it. If you can. My music. I write it all for you." Ichigo told him, caressing his cheek. "I will." Rose promised. "I have to go. Goodbye." He told him, pressing one last kiss to Ichigos mouth. Ichigo opened his eyes and Rose was gone. Standing in the hall to the open door, he stared at the place the man he loved had been at a second ago. If it wasn't for the slight pain making itself know in his back, he would have thought it had all been a dream. Walking back to the bed he fell down into it and stared at the floor. Looking around he noticed a piece of paper, neatly folded lying in the middle of the bed. Reaching out he unfolded it with trembling hands.

I spend my days waiting for you,

Searching the crowds for your face.

I stopped breathing the moment

You recognized me, as you captured

My Soul with your gaze. (by Christy Ann Martine)

In enternal love, your Rose.

Ichigo only noticed that he was crying when the tears started raining down on the piece of paper, written by his true love.

Rose was distracted. He knew the others had noticed that something had changed but he had rebutted their questioning looks. Completely ignoring them sometimes. He was wistfully staring at the wall, remembering the night he made love to Ichigo. It had been perfect. But now he had had a taste of the one thing he could never truly hold, and it was eating him alive. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't think straight. Everything reminded him of Ichigo. When he had remembered the paper with Ichigos address he had scrambled to get it, just to see Ichigos handwriting, to have something that was purely him. When he had unfolded the paper, he found in neatly written script an address and a PS that had made his heart melt slightly. There written underneath stood: I'll wait for you. I love you. Forever. Such simply words. Ichigo had always complained that he couldn't articulate himself in as many colorful words as Rose but while Rose needed so many words to tell what he felt, all it takes Ichigo were a few lines. Rose had taken to carry the paper with him. He pulled it out of his pocket and stared at it, he still had a few minutes until the Captains meeting began, he would need all the mental strength he had to pull through another day of grey paperwork and grey people without a speck of orange.

He was so immersed in tracing the writing on the small piece of paper that he didn't notice the other captains slowly arriving in the entrance hall to the first division meeting room. Kyoraku and Ukitake looked at each other in question as they took in the form of Rose staring at a piece of paper as if it held the questions to life itself. They didn't interrupt him but stayed at a respectable distance. Shinji arrived next, he was a little less hesitant and approached Rose with the intention of asking him about the paper. As was his luck, before he could even step closer the huge double doors opened and the Soutaichous voice loudly ordered them to enter. Shinji saw Rose startle and take in his surroundings. He quickly stored away the paper in his pocket and took his usual stand in the rows of Captains slowly filing in one after another.

The meeting dragged on and on, Shinji could literally feel the time pass by, every second a terrible drag to his being. He knew he wasn't the only one. Rose next to him was, which was uncharacteristically for him, staring at the ground, not even pretending to listen. Shinji had noticed his friend pulling away, he was more solemn these days, a quite sadness surrounded him that Shinji couldn't understand. He whished he could help his friend, but all their advances had been rebutted. The soutaichou finally announced the end of the meeting. Shinji had made up his mind to speak to Rose the second it was over, to inquire about his well being and the paper he had looked at, but he was more than surprise as Rose left the quickest he had ever seen. Taking a few long steps to the exit and shunpoing away in the next second, not even bothering with greetings or anything the like. "Is there something the matter with Otoribashi-kun?" A voice asked Shinji from behind, when he turned around he was met with Ukitakes worried expression and Kyorakus contemplative stare. Shinji sighed. "I have no idea…He doesn't really talk to anyone right now." He told them pulling a face at his admission. "I see…" Ukitake said concern in his eyes as he looked at the place Rose had been in seconds ago. "Maybe we should seek him out? There seems to be something the matter…" Shinji huffed a little but nodded in agreement. The three of them followed Roses trail of Reiatsu. They were surprised when they found him standing on one of the bridges between the white tower, overlooking Seireitei as the sun slowly sat. They had to walk around the tower to be able to see his face. Shinji was just rounding the corner and was about to call out to him with his arm raised when he stopped, arm slowly sinking to his side. Ukitake and Kyoraku looked at each other. "What's the matter…" Kyoraku asked Shinji before he stopped too as he was able to see Roses face. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, even though his mouth was pulled into a soft smile as he stared at the sunset. No sound could be heard from him as he stood silent and straight, his tears the only incarnation of his sadness. Shinji slowly turned around, eyes clouded in shadows. He took a few steps into the cover of the tower before leaning against one of its cool white walls. Ukitake and Kyoraku followed him in concerned silence. "I've never seen him like this…" Shinji said softly. Ukitake laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Never…not even after everything with Aizen, not even when Hiyori was terribly injured…" Shinji looked up at them, a deep frown on his face and his eyes clouded in pain and confusion for his friend's state. Ukitake sighed softly. "Maybe it would be the best if you searched him out on your own another time. From the state he is in…I don't think you should leave him alone even if he tells you to." Shinji nodded slowly. "For now, I think it's best if we leave." Kyoraku commented, making his way down the street they came from, Ukitake shot a concerned glance towards Shinji when he simply motioned for him to go ahead but followed Kyoraku a second later. Shinji stood there against the wall, taking a deep breath he chanced a last look towards Roses position, sighing he turned and walked away.

Rose stood at the mirror in his quarter, staring at his reddened eyes. How was he supposed to survive another 5 years of this.