AN: Chapter updated with a version where the error about CPS is fixed (thank you Sydney-C for pointing it out to me)
Lena POV
I glance up to the clock once again - 3:36 PM. The minute head has moved one section, since I last looked up to the clock. Few doctors have walked in, but neither one said the name of the two officers we were here for.
Cooper stood up after sitting impatiently in his seat "I'm going to the café. Anyone wants anything?" He asks, looking over to the kids
All of the kids shook their heads, only Jesus answered Cooper "No, thanks. Not hungry"
"Lena? Anything for you?"
"I want to stretch my legs, I will go with you" I needed to talk to Cooper, alone. This was the chance to do it.
I help Frankie get from my lap to Jesus. Cooper was waiting for me by the doors.
"Don't go, mama!" Frankie cried out, once I turned to followed Cooper out. Without hesitating, I turn back and crouch down by her. I look up to her and take her little hands in my.
"Don't worry, baby. I will just walk quickly to the café with Cooper. We will be back in 5 minutes, love"
"You promise, mama?" She asks, tears in her eyes. I had a hard time fighting my tears back, I hated to see my kids so scared.
"Promise" I kiss her forehead softly
"Okay" Frankie sniffs back. Jesus kisses the top of her head and rocks her softly in his arms.
I glance to Brandon "Call me if the doctor comes in!" Brandon nods back
Cooper and I walk out together and head down the hallway towards the café. We are 10 steps away from the waiting room when Cooper speaks up.
"Tell me...how bad is it?" He asked keeping his eyes up front of him
"I only know what Captain Roberts knows - Amy was shot in chest and leg, she had lost a lot of blood and she coded on the way to hospital" Cooper glanced to the side, away from me, as we kept on walking. He tried to process the news and not show his true emotions to me. Cooper tried to stay strong, but I saw the fear and concern in his eyes.
"What about Callie? If Amy is in hospital or if she-" He choked up, it took him few seconds till he got the next word over his lips "dies..what happens to her?"
We both knew that Amy dying was a possibly. We all hoped that won't happen, but knowing the circumstances - there was a chance of that happening. Yes, it would be easier to not think about it or to be in denial about the possibility. But this is not just about Amy, Callie is in the equation as well. It's her life, that is put on the line and impacted the most. We needed to prepare for the worst.
"If Amy is in hospital, one of us should take Callie in temporary, till Amy is back on her feet and can take care of her again. If Amy doesn't make it, we have a huge decision to make. If neither one of us takes her in - then she is going back to foster care-" I started to explain to him, but Cooper stops in the middle of hallway and he cuts me off in half sentence
"Callie is not going back to foster care!" Cooper was upset, he threw his right arm up, gesturing back to the way we came from, where Callie was "No! No, no way! She can't go back to the system!" Cooper states loudly
"Cooper, I said if! "I tell him calmly, Cooper takes a small step back to cool down "Callie is no longer alone, Amy is not the only one who cares. She has extended family and friends that cares about her."
"You will take her?" He points to me
"That's one option" Cooper just blinks back at me, waiting for me to continue "You are the second option. And Amy's parents are the third"
"Shouldn't we be waiting for Amy's parents then? I mean, to discuss this"
"Cooper, she can't stay at hospital tonight" I say back keeping the eye contact "Amy's parents are flying here from Boston. We have no idea when will they be here. It could be at the middle of the night, next morning, next day. We need to take it one day at a time."
"What are you saying?" He looks momentarily confused at me
"As much as I want to take her in, I can't, not tonight. I have 5 scared kids and a wife, whose condition I don't know anything about. I am running on fumes as it is. You need to step up!"
Cooper POV
In the end I bought coffee, few snacks and sandwiches. We both knew the kids will want to eat something or at least have a snack sooner or later. No one knows how long we will have to wait for any kind of news.
Lena takes her coffee and Callie's (I know she wants one, she won't say it, but she wants one), while I take my cup and carry the rest of the products in a small plastic bag.
"How are you so calm?" I ask Lena when we leave the cafeteria
"I'm not calm" Lena replies after she finishes taking a small sip of her coffee "It's just the front. Inside - I'm a mess. There are half of a dozen of kids I need to worry about. They are depending on me. Even Callie. If I lose it, they will too. I have seen it happen before" It sounded like she spoke from experience
"This has happened before?" I ask curious
"Yes, Stef was shot a year back. It was an off duty shooting. It's a long story" Lena glances to me, I nod back understanding why she wouldn't want to remember it "Anyhow, we were in the hospital, Stef was in surgery. I was too concerned about losing her that I didn't notice my own kids were slowly falling apart. Brandon was blaming the twins, the twins were blaming themselves, Jude was being the strong one. It was...chaos" Guilt was still evident in Lena's eyes. Clearly that event left a huge impact on her life. Probably on all of their lives.
"Does it get easier?" I ask after a small moment of silence
"What?" Lena turns to me confused and lowers the cup down from her lips
"Dating a cop?"
Lena shakes her head "You need to prepare yourself for a lot of bruises, cuts, gashes, sore muscles, black eyes, broken noses, concussions" Lena took a small pause before adding sadly "and nightmares"
Lena slowed down, because we were almost back at the waiting room "When they are on job they are always so tough and strong, they put their feeling and personal issues aside so they could help other. They simply have to do that, otherwise they won't be able to do the job. But when they get home - it is different story" Lena now stops completely and I stop along with her, Lena looks up to me, with sad, thoughtful look in her eyes
"Stef tries not to take her job home with her. But sometimes the job is too much for her to handle on her own. Sometimes she needs me to be strong for her, because she no longer can. It's rare, but it happens." Lena presses her lips together, her gaze goes somewhere to side "Most of the time, Stef doesn't like to talk about it. Stef thinks she is protecting me that way, but in truth, she is just making it harder for herself. I see her struggling, but she doesn't talk to me. That's the worst part!" She says taking a step backwards to lean at the wall
She looks down to her feet, holds both of the cups in front of her "It doesn't get easier. Living with a cop is hard, it can be a struggle sometimes. You will worry constantly. When your phone rings, you will experience a new found fear" Lena was definitely scaring me "But it is not all bad. There are good days too. When Amy will tell you about how she saved someones life or how she helped someone...it will make up for all the bad days!"
"How can you handle it?" I ask when I lean at the wall next to her
"Do you love Amy?" Lena asks quietly, turning only her head toward me, to look me in the eye
I look down to my feet and suck in my lower lip. When I look back to Lena's eyes I answer "I haven't told her yet, but I do. I love her! Have for a while now!"
"There is your answer" Lena says simply and smiles at me "Love"
I nod to the waiting room when I lean off the wall "We should probably...head back"
"We should" Lena agrees leaning away from the wall
"Lena?" I stop her before she walks in, she turns around to face me "Thank you! For the talk and…for calling me"
Lena smiles at me warmly "Thank Callie for the last one" She replies and walks in the waiting room. I am standing in the hallway alone, with a small smile on my lips.
But the moment is short lived - the smile leaves my face quickly, when I remember why we are all here and what has happened. When I walk inside the waiting room, Lena was handing one of the cups to Callie.
"Cooper got you this" She said when Callie reached for it. Callie glances to me and mouths - thank you. While Frankie gets comfortable on Lena's lap, Jesus was holding on to her coffee. I walk up to Jude and Mariana.
"We got snacks" I hand them the bag. Jude takes it and peaks inside first. He reaches for something he would like next moment.
"Pass it around" I smile to them before I head back to my previous seat. All of the kids take something from the bag even thou no one asked for anything.
Callie was ripping off the label of her now empty coffee cup, when a doctor walked in. We all hold our breathe, waiting for the doctor to say a name.
"Officer Stefanie Adams Foster?" The tall, partly grey haired man asked when he reached up for his scrub hat to take it off
"Yes!" Lena said as she and others jumped up from the seat. Callie was the only one left sitting, but she was still listening to the news.
"I'm Dr. Wess, I operated on your wife. I am happy to inform you the surgery went well!" He placed his hand on Lena's shoulder "There is no nerve damage, the bullet didn't rupture her subclavian vein or artery, nor did it hit any bone. Your wife is lucky. She is going to be all right" the doctor said smiling to them
"Can we see her?" Lena asked back, she looked so much happier, than 20 seconds ago. They all looked relived.
"She is in recovery room right now. Once she is taken to her own room, nurse will come get you. It will be some hour or so" He informed them with a smile on his lips
"Thank you" Lena replies sincerely, the kids said it as well, in a choir. Once the doctor left, hugs and kisses were passed between them. Callie was forcing a smile, trying to be happy for them. But how can she be happy, when her own mom was still fighting for her life? I can't imagine how hard this must be for her.
It was, like the doctor said, hour later, when a nurse came to get them and they all followed the nurse to see Stef. I stand up from my seat and head over to where Callie was sitting alone, to sit down next to her. Moment later Callie leans closer to me and presses her head to my left shoulder.
"Cooper?" I barely heard her voice
"Yeah?"
"I'm scared" Callie admits quietly
"I know. I am scared too, Callie"
Stef POV
My eyes flutter open. I was still a bit woozy, it was still a bit blurry, but at least now my head felt clearer, my thoughts weren't jumbled up as much.
It felt like a Déjà Vu, when I saw Lena sitting next to my bed, looking down at me. I will always love waking up to her Angle like face. Lena smiles at me and places her warm hand on my forehead. I feel my right hand being squeezed tenderly. There are tears in her eyes just like the last time.
"Hi" she breathes out, when a single tear falls down her cheek
I gather all my strength to answer her. My voice sounded weak and it was hoarse "I feel like…I need to propose to you…again" I get the words over my lips and offer a weak smile to her
"I would say yes again" She replies and leans closer to me. Lena places the most gentle and sweetest kiss on my lips.
The hand from my forehead was now caressing my cheek "You need to stop scaring us like this"
"Sorry, love" I say looking to her eyes "Where are the kids?"
"They are all here. Eager to see you" Lena says running her finger gently over my cheek. I move my head towards her fingers. When she runs her fingers gently over my cheek, I close my eyes. Her touch was so calming, so soothing.
"I want to see my babies" I tell her, when I open my eyes to look at her
"I will go get them, two at a time thou. Doctors orders" Lena says back, stroking my hair. She kisses my forehead and then heads out to get the kids.
The doors open after minute and two little heads peak in. I shift in the bed slightly, trying to have a better look at them. I can't keep the smile away when I see them.
"Mom" Mariana blurred out as she hurried up to my bed. Jude was right after her. Mariana hurries around the bed to my right side.
"Come here, love" I raise my right hand up, inviting her in for a hug. Mariana doesn't hesitate to lean down and hug me.
"I'm okay love, I'm okay" I whisper to her once she was in my one hand embrace. I wanted to hug Jude with my other hand, but I knew better than to try and move my left arm. When Mariana leans out of the hug, to let Jude hug me, I see how she wipes away tears. I hold Jude for a moment.
"I was really scared mom" Jude whispers to me, when in hug
"I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm sorry…" I press my lips to his temple. When Jude leans out of the hug, I take Jude's hand, Mariana sits on the side of the bed, her hand placed on my leg.
"I don't know what I would do without you mom" Mariana said as two more tears fell down her cheek "It wouldn't be the same without you"
"Hey! I'm not going anywhere baby. I'm right here. I'm not leaving you" Jude let's go of my hand so I could reach over for Mariana's hand. I run my thumb over her palm.
"I love you both so much" I say looking between them
"We love you too, mom" They both said together
I spent another 10 minutes with the two of them, before they had to switch out so Brandon and Jesus could come in. They tried to act tough, but I could still see that they were scared, no matter how hard they try to hide it.
"Does it hurt?" Jesus asks looking to my left arm. It was covered in bandages, my elbow was rested on a pillow, it was slightly bent. My palm rested on my lower abdomen.
"No" I said honesty "It doesn't"
"Why didn't you have your vest on?" Brandon was upset "This is the second time you are shot and you didn't have your vest on"
"I was on a lunch break Brandon. I wasn't patrolling the street on foot. I had been driving around in the squad car" I explain to him, not taking my eyes of him
"Still...you should have your vest on all of the time" Brandon said looking to my left arm "I don't know how many more times of you being shot I can take, mom"
"I'm sorry I hurt you B. I didn't mean to cause so much pain for you" I look over to Jesus "To any of you!"
"We know" Jesus said with certainty. After a small pause Jesus added "I overheard Captain Roberts said you killed the guy who did this. Is that true?"
"It is. I had to do it in self-defense" I said back, wondering where this conversation will head to. I remember what Mike said last time, what Jesus said about Mike killing the guy who shot me.
"I'm sorry you had to do that, mom" Jesus said and very carefully touched my left palm
Lena was sitting at the right side of the bed, her hand resting on my leg. She was watching closely how Frankie enjoyed the 10 minutes with me. Frankie was sitting on the bed next to my torso, on the right side. She has told me all about her morning in kindergarten already.
"Mommy?" she asked when she was running her little fingers over my right palm
"Yes, baby?" I ask back when I raise my hand up to caress her cheek softy
"Did the good luck kiss help you? The doctor said you were lucky"
"It most certainly did, love" I tilted my head one side "I think I need a get well kisses as well" I smile at her
"From me or mama?"
"Both - of course. But I would love to have the first get well kiss from you" I poke her tip of the nose softly, causing her to giggle out softly, her cute dimples showed
After the kiss, when Frankie cuddles up to my right side, there is a knock on the doors and Captain Roberts peaks her head inside. Lena glanced over her shoulder to the doors, to see who it was.
"Frankie, love, it is time for us to go. Give mommy one last kiss before we leave" Lena says standing up. Captain leaves, allowing us to say good-bye.
"Can't I stay 5 more minutes' mama?" Frankie begged looking up to Lena
"I'm sorry, baby. We can't. Mommy need to rest and save up her energy so she can come home as soon as possible"
Frankie turned to look back at me. She once again had the sad eyes. You could tell that she didn't want to go.
"But who will read the nighttime story for me?" Frankie looked between us
"Mama can read the story for you, love"
"But only you can do the voices right mommy!"
"Tell you what, love" I say and gesture her to lean closer to me, so I could whisper to her ear. Frankie is leaned down in the next second, impatient to hear what I will whisper to her.
"Teach mama how to do the voices" I whisper to her and kiss her cheek "Can you do that?"
Frankie nods her head back furiously, her eyes glowing. She gives me kiss and then Lena helps her down the bed.
"I will take the kids home. I will be back. Rest" Lena gives me a kiss
"I love you" I say after the kiss
"Love you too" Lena says and walks hand in hand with Frankie out of the room. Frankie waves at me as she walks out. I wave back and watch them leave.
Captain Roberts reenters the room, smiling at me "Frankie looks more like Lena every day"
"That's the best part" I say smiling back when Captain closes the doors behind her. The smile leaves her face, she becomes serious.
I look down my injured arm "How's Amy doing?"
"Still in surgery. Fighting for her life"
"The boy?" I keep my eyes down
"Alive" That means there is only one boy's blood on my hands. One death was better than two. Captain walks closer to me, she rests her hands on the frame at the end of the bed "How are you feeling, Stef?"
"Okay"I look back to my injured arm "I will be better once I know Amy is okay too" I said honestly and looked straight to her eyes "You need my statement?"
"Yes. Are you up to it?" Captain asks concerned about my well-being and my emotional state
"I just want to get over with it" I said back keeping myself composed. Captain nods back and heads out of the room to get the officers.
I may be composed on outside, but inside, I was a freaking out. There were two people on my mind.
One of the person, was my friend and partner - Amy. Last I saw her, she was on edge between life and death. And I need her alive. I can't imagine doing my job without her next to me in the car.
The other person was the boy. I still need to find a way to live with myself for killing someone. It didn't matter that he shot me or that I did it in self-defense. Today, I killed a man. Today, I killed another human being. I killed someone's son.