Rose has changed. This much Shinji knew. He was never the same after that fateful day and no one understood. It even left Shinji, Ukitake and Kyoraku a little speechless. Nobody could have anticipated this change in him, even knowing what caused it didn't seem to quite justify it. For one Rose has not played music for the last few years. At least nobody heard him play anymore. He was colder, preferred to be alone. He avoided Shinji at all cost. Shinji tried to understand, tried to talk to him, the answer he got would forever be carved in his heart.

It had been like any other day but on this particular day Shinji had had enough of Roses constant silence and avoidance, he confronted him, like he had about Ichigo, and visited his barracks. After posing his question Rose had looked at him for the first time in years and had answered in a whisper. "Because I understand. I understand why you did it…but I can't forgive it." That had been the last words the two of them had exchanged in private. Shinji had been hurt by his friend's words and tried his best to ignore the constant guilt he felt whenever he looked at Roses too tired, too pale, too lifeless face. Ukitake and Kyoraku had tried to talk to Rose on several occasions, he rebutted every single one of their advanced with a mumbled apology and tired smile. And the years passed by.

It seemed like any other day when the message for another assemble of all Captains reached them. Shinji took his usual stand and nodded at the Captains already present in greeting. Slowly everybody filled in, Rose came among the last, face as drawn and cold as always. The Soutaichou banged his cane on the floor. "With this our meeting begins! We have gathered here today for a very simply reason. Ichigo Kurosaki has died." Everybody stared at him wide eyed. Shinji immediately looked at Rose when the news finally sunk in. He swallowed heavily when he saw his friends face pale even further, he was blinking fast and looking on in absolute shock. Hitsugaya was the first to break the silence. "He-he couldn't have been older than 30." He stated with wide eyes. "How did he die?" He questioned face pale. The Soutaichous face grew grimmer. "Suicide." He said. They all stared at him.

Even Kenpachi had lost his smile and was staring at the Soutaichou uncomprehendingly. Kurotsuchi surprisingly was the one to break the silence next. "While I did not know the boy well…I must voice my doubts. Ichigo Kurosaki ever committing suicide, it does not seem like something he would restore to." He said, voice surprisingly soft, his usual arrogance nowhere to be seen. The Soutaichou nodded grimly.

"And you would be right to doubt it. Yoruichi Shihoin has informed me that Kurosaki was suffering an illness. He relayed his plans of Suicide to her before committing such. His reasons were that he did not wish to wield to this illness, he wished to die with his dignity intact." The Soutaichous words vibrated and echoed in all their minds. It still did not make sense to them. Ichigo Kurosaki, dead. The Soutaichou cleared his throat. "I declare that every division is to help in the search for Ichigo Kurosaki. While he has not been in contact with us for many years, we shall not be ignorant to the debt we still have to repay him. Dispatch search parties through the Rukongai. Urahara Kisuke has informed me that the boy's father has already sent his soul on." All the Captains nodded in agreement and understanding.

"Otoribashi-taichou, remain behind." The Soutaichou spoke as the other Captains quickly left the meeting hall to assemble their search teams. Rose looked surprised at the order but quickly stepped in front of the Soutaichou. The old man cracked one of his eyes open and looked at him. "While many think me ignorant to the inner workings of Seireitei and the emotional wellbeing of my Captains, I am no such thing." Rose swallowed heavily, opening his mouth to defend himself if need be. The Soutaichou stalled his answer with a raised hand. He pulled out an envelope and passed it to Rose.

"Yoruichi Shihoin has asked me to pass this on to you. I do not play messenger every day, but I agreed simply to tell you this: Memories do not reign over the heart." With that the Soutaichou turned around and vanished, leaving Rose standing alone in the meeting hall and staring at the envelope. He quickly stashed it in his pocket and rushed to his barracks. Closing and locking the office door behind him, he sat down at his desk and pulled out the envelope once again. With shaking fingers, he opened it. Out fell several pieces of paper. The first one he immediately recognized. It was the poem he had written to Ichigo all those years ago, he looked at his own writing, smuged from tears that weren't his. Slowly he placed the paper on his desk and pulled out the next one. Unfolding it he was met with the writing he himself had stared at for years, the memories of the words burned into his mind. I love you. I'll wait for you. Forever. He swallowed as he began to read.

My dear Rose,

If you are reading this I am already dead. You might think I have done something wrong, going and committing suicide like that but I did not wish to be eaten away at by an illness that could not be cured. I always thought I would go down with a fight, to be killed by an illness is not something I could have let happened. I wished to remain in my families and friend's memories as the person I was, not the shadow I was about to become. But enough of that.

You remember our talk all those years ago, I am sure. You told me to move on, to have a life, but at the same time you promised to wait for me how ever long it might take. You idiot! I was too riled up at the time to really comprehend what you were saying. Afterwards I had to suppress the urge to kill myself right then and there and just to storm into Seireitei to hit your over the head. You can't expect me to live happily ever after knowing that you are waiting for me. That's just plain unfair. So, I made a very simple decision. If you wait for me, well then, I'll wait for you too. Hah! You weren't expecting that, were you? Yes, you heard quite right, I have not moved on. At all. Period. So, suck it up.

I just realized that this was supposed to be a love letter, but I keep insulting you…Sorry for that. We are coming to the love letter part right about now.

I love you, Rose Otoribashi. And I expect you to find me where ever the hell I might be and make me fall in love with you once again, you hear me? I have waited all my life to be with you, so you better make sure that I spent the rest of my death at your side. I have no doubts that I will fall for you once again. You will forever have my heart, Rose, and this part of me will never forget you, no matter whether I am alive or not.

I know you are sad that the few memories we had together are probably gone forever, that I won't remember them, but we'll have the rest of our time to make a ton of new ones. I have told you once and I will tell you again. I love you. I'll wait for you. Forever. So, search for me and find me and love me. I know I am sounding pretty selfish, but I couldn't care less. I want you, Rose. I want to be with you. I wish you were here right now. Truth being told: I am scared to die. I don't want to forget you, the thought that I might have to live without you scares me. So, please, please fulfill my last wish and find me.

In eternal love,

Your Ichigo

Rose started blinking rapidly as he stared at Ichigos words. Tears were stinging his eyes as Ichigos message finally sunk in. He waited, he waited all this time to be with me. That idiot. He reached out and traced his last wish with his fingertips. Yes, he would give his all to find him. He would not stop until he had Ichigo in his arms once again. No matter what.

A/N: Thank you for your wonderful Reviews and Support :) I know this Pairing is quiet rare, which is a shame in my opinion ^^ Seriously guys try googling this Pairing...literally nothing Shows up ^^'

Anyways I simply wanted to thank you for continuing to read this :)

Sal