[Izaya's POV]

Izaya pushed passed people on his way back to his dressing room, just wanting to be alone for a while as his head started pounding harshly. He knew Kasuka was probably right behind him, if not it was only because of how shocked he was that the informant ran off at all. Sorry, Kasu-kun.

He got inside and shut the door behind him, locking it soundlessly before he leaned back against it and slid down, the pain in his head not letting him look around his room to see if Shara or someone else was there with him. He just hoped he'd been lucky enough to be in here alone. After a moment of the pain not going away, he curled up where he was and buried his head in his arms, trying to push out the light around him and drown out his own thoughts.

Izaya knew it wasn't Kasuka's fault that he was feeling this sick, he'd never done anything for the man to run off like that, but just the mention that he couldn't remember something from his first year back in Ikebukuro.. The memories he did have in place of them, were not pleasant.

The first day Izaya had come to Shinra's highschool, where he had recently been enrolled in, had been an adventurous one. In just that one day Izaya had managed to see most of the students and been able to sort them out into his own mental categories, which ones would be the most fun to pick on, which ones he could use to his advantage, which ones would probably try to pick on him instead before they figured out it wouldn't work; the only one not having a place yet was named Shizuo Heiwajima, but since he was actually fascinating to the ravenett he would keep him isolated as long as possible for observation purposes.

All in all, nothing seemed wrong about his new life in Tokyo. Except for the reason he was there at all.

It wasn't a mystery that he'd been born in Ikebukuro to his loving mother and father, and it wasn't a mystery that he'd been an odd one, always studying people and staring no matter how many times he'd been told it was rude. He'd constantly say odd things to the other children and occasionally his teachers, making him almost infamous in the two primary schools he'd been to. But he'd been bright and there hadn't been anything wrong with him, so everyone let it slide and didn't pay attention.

It especially wasn't a mystery when Izaya met Shinra and the two 'weirdos', as some had called them, hit it off and became fast friends. In their own way, most supposed..

What was a mystery, was how his father and mother could both get so suddenly preoccupied that they'd had to send their children, Izaya and his two new little sisters who were only about 2 at the time, off into the countryside to live under the care of their grandparents. They'd been given no warnings and one day his mother had been acting odd while his father had been, to their knowledge, bed-ridden.

With Izaya being 12 and a very bright child to begin with, the parents had no qualms about sending them off on a plane to get there and meet their close-family, but Izaya could tell something was wrong. The two had never been too busy for them, only forgetting to pick up Izaya from school nearly once a month, and even then one of them had been able to call and let him know that he'd have to go to Shinra's house for the night if he could. For Shirou and Kyouko to give them up so easily, it sent off quite a few alarms to the ravenett.

But what could he do? He'd been given no choice, so he got his and his sisters' things together before wishing Shinra farewell and taking off on the flying death-trap towards his new home.

And that's where the trio stayed until suddenly, in the beginning of Izaya's sophomore year, his mother called to let them know that they needed to come back, Izaya most of all, and that when they got there she would have bad news for them. Not the most promising of her phone calls but... After being separated from his parents for nearly 3 years and having to technically raise his little sisters into fine, young toddlers because their grandparents weren't the most attentive people at their age - he was ready for any excuse to go home.

When he got there was when he became disillusioned.

He'd stepped into his old home with his sisters on his arms, and looked around to see almost all of their worldly possessions gone - pictures of them still present but no longer framed or put up somewhere because there was nothing to hang them with. The whole place was barren and on further inspection, their father was no where to be seen. The reason for why made Izaya feel all the worse.

Apparently, not to most people's knowledge, Izaya wasn't the first in his family to get into a bad business - the yakuza could get anyone they wanted after all, as long as they were quiet about it. And as long as they kept quiet even further, they could make anyone they wanted disappear. Along with Shirou Orihara. They'd been sent off so the parents wouldn't have to spend so much money on food or clothes, leaving more in their bank to send to their father's boss, Shiki, and pay their debts. Even so, the money had run out when Shirou inevitably got injured and could no longer work. With him out of business and Kyouko not having a job at the time, they were completely out of luck and had begun resorting to selling their own things to pay him off, something that also didn't get them anywhere near the quota... After 6 months of not being able to live up to Shiki's demands, their father had gone missing and Kyouko went to her last option - calling her son back so he could work for them in return.

Without even being back in his hometown for a month, Izaya had been sent back and forth from his new 'work-place' and school more times than he could count. And if you asked him, he had never once gotten a break.

At school he could talk with Shinra once more and get all the medical help he needed for free, along with his mother once he and his companion had worked something out with Shinra's father, but once school ended it was right back to work.

Unlike what he had expected, he hadn't been permitted to live at home with his mother anymore, his new boss thinking he'd try to rat them out in return for killing off Shirou. So instead, he was forced to stay at his work almost constantly and go get anything and everything his boss and his boss' friends wanted, no matter what time, item or person they asked of him. And at first that was fine, until he had finally paid off his family's debt and thought he could leave.

In retrospect, he was bright enough to know that something like that wasn't something a person could walk away from and never think about again, but when he'd tried to do it in reality everything went very quickly down south. Once he was told that his debt was paid off, that he'd done very well and that anything he earned in the future did not have to go through Shiki and could instead go right to him and his family - the ravenett was elated. No more living in his tiny office-space, no more having to wonder how his mother and sisters were doing because he wasn't permitted to see them yet, no more having to go right from school back to selling a drug or tricking someone into an alleyway with only one hour of personal time to himself, that hour being counted by the very second with high punishment if he went over. He was finally free to be a teenager again...

Except that he wasn't. The very day after he'd been told the debt was paid off, he was then taken back to Shiki to 'have a discussion' with him. That discussion involved his boss letting him know that if he tried to leave the business, he'd not be lost of only one parent. And while he could come and go as he pleased, not having to live at work anymore and report right to Shiki -there was no option for him outside of this business, now or any time in the future. He either forfeited his life or agreed to work for them and continue to earn his family's pay as the bread-winner.

He made the obvious decision of living and continuing to help his family, but with saying the word 'yes' he'd also given them permission to break him in order for him to never betray them. Which led to a good year of him being kicked around, wounded, stabbed and sometimes publicly humiliated in front of his co-workers on nearly a daily basis until they thought he was loyal enough to not even think of going near the police. With all of the beatings, some very pointedly at his head, came a very good portion of his life leaking out of his mind and into what Shinra had called 'non-selective amnesia', leaving him with his memories - good or bad, of Shinra, Kasuka, Shizuo, his mother, father and anyone he came into contact with - warily becoming forgotten in the blink of an eye.

Izaya had no idea when he'd forgotten about meeting Kasuka, or the many events that Shinra would go on about from their time together in middle-school, or even when he'd gotten that mysterious and admittedly creepy head that was hidden away deep in a closet in his home - but just knowing that he was still working for the man that had made him forget them all and only remember loyalty was surely enough to make him sick to his stomach at the very thought.

And even if it wasn't Kasuka's fault, he was sure that for the next week, at least, he was going to be making himself sick trying to regain the memory he had lost in place of those awful years he'd been forced to live.

Back-story filled and Izaya-centric, it's Chapter 19!

So, there you go.

Now you have a good, long description of what I have viewed since watching the anime and reading the manga as Izaya's shitty childhood!

Since there's nothing really telling us in the media-sources or even wiki about how he came to meet Shiki, and also it not telling us much about his family besides Mairu and Kururi in general, this is my own scenario for his life and why he's so pessimistic and killer-fied now.

I know I warned for angst and this isn't too angsty in and of itself, but Izaya is like my baby, and this all happening to him could make some people cry T^T

(Including my sister, who has beta-read this chapter because she has no patience for me to submit it. - PS, these chapters aren't usually beta read, I reread and fix them all myself immediately after they're posted. Sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes on occasion.)

I hope you all liked this chapter! Favorite, follow and review to see more!

PSS. Please, review and tell me what you think of Izaya's back-story.

Let me know if you agree that this is highly plausible or if you disagree, let me know why.

I'm always interested in what you guys have to say, so don't be afraid to review!