Boo. I'm back. I seriously wanted to write for the longest time, but series of life events prevented me to do so. BTW slight URL change on tumblr and consequently here, but like who remembers my old one bc it's very long so it becomes a string of letters at one point or the other. (follow me on tumblr at the same url as my pen name)
In this chapter, FYI: you need some background knowledge on the Stanley Cup playoffs, the only thing that I think you need to know is that the finals of the Stanley Cup is a best of seven games and the Toronto Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup since 1967. Also I refer to "Murdoch Mysteries" in the middle, which is a detective TV show about a Toronto detective in the late 1800s/early1900s. Many famous Canadian actors have been on that show and man I really want Jay Baruchel to guest star next season. Good show, gay characters, fun times, it's on Netflix, give it a watch.
SADNESS WARNING: It gets sad, and character death. but like the next chapter will be cute and nice and fun, but for now, sadness.
Please remember to comment and follow, I'll update sooner than last time.
3: Game 7
Astrid returned home.
Alone.
Returning to the bedroom, she reached under the bed and pulled out a box. In the box, there was one end of the a splintered hockey stick, the stub from a Roll Up the Rim coffee cup, and a small velvet box. All memories from Hiccup, memories that now were too painful to think of. Maybe some day, she'll be able to look back on the memories with a smile. Now, tears tracked down her face and carefully, she placed the unused tickets on top, adding one more memory to be forgotten for now.
Closing the box, she slid it under the bed, never to see it again.
-xx—xx-
Hiccup opened his eyes slowly.
The room was peaceful, his heartbeat beating steadily with the beeping of the monitor, and the small TV in the corner was on, an announcer excitedly reporting the current Stanley Cup playoffs. As the reporter called out that the Rangers scored against the Leafs, Hiccup looked around the rest of the room, smiling as he saw Astrid was sitting beside his bed, reading a textbook. To him, Astrid looked absolutely lovely. Her blonde hair framed her face, falling out of its braid, as she tapped her pencil against the edge of her textbook. Hiccup watched Astrid for a couple of moments, watching her clear blue eyes flicker over the page as she read the notes. A couple of moments later, Astrid sighed, closing her textbook. Looking up, she smiled as she saw Hiccup awake. "Hey, babe, how are you feeling?"
Hiccup smiled and sighed in happiness as she brushed his thin hair out of his eyes, kissing his forehead. "You look beautiful," he whispered, taking her hand as she sat down next to him on the bed.
She smiled and lifted his hand to gently kiss his fingers. "Thank you," she said with a smile. For a moment, they sat together, just enjoying each other's company and listening to the hockey game on the TV.
"I can't believe that the Leafs actually made it to the playoffs, even if it's the first round," she said softly. "Game 3, and they've only lost two, maybe they have a chance."
Hiccup laughed, though his laughter died off into coughs. Astrid smiled, happy that she managed to make him smile. He rested his head against her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him, planting a kiss against his forehead.
In silence, they watched the game, the players racing across the ice and the crowd cheering. It was nearly half time when suddenly Hiccup spoke up. "Toothless likes baths, nice warm ones, especially on days he's outside when it's cold. He also loves salmon and maybe an occasional piece of cod or shrimp. Don't forget that he loves to be rubbed under the chin and –"
"Hiccup, why are you telling me this?"
"I just want to make sure you know all of this before..."
Astrid shook her head. "I know everything. So please... just stop talking."
He didn't stay silent for very long. "You need to find someone after I'm gone."
"Hiccup, that makes no sense."
"No. Astrid. This is important. I need you to hear this," Hiccup said, pulling himself out of her arms so that he could look into her eyes directly. "Through all of this, the only thing that has made it bearable is you. You. Someone that I love, would've protected through everything, someone that I wanted to marry someday. There's going to be a day long, long, long time from now when you're going to be... dying as well. I want you to have someone beside you, holding onto you, kissing you, hoping and praying that you won't die. I want so badly that could be me, but it seems like it won't be, so I want you to find someone who can love you and who you can love to. I'm going to be happy for you no matter what. I love you and I want you to be happy and to be loved."
"You loved me. That's all I need," Astrid said, tears brimming in her eyes. "I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love you."
"Astrid—"
"No!" She reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope. "Look. I bought us tickets to the Stanley Cup," she said her tone angry, but it was weakened by tears in her eyes. "You are coming to this game with me. You are coming to this game!"
Hiccup sighed and dropped his gaze. "But... Astrid... I really love this, but... I'm not going to be able to go to this game, you know that."
Astrid covered her mouth with one hand, trying to stop the tears. "Harold Haddock—"
"Don't tell me to hope. I can't stand this talk of hope any more," Hiccup said quietly, but it was like the loudest shout to her. "I can't find it in me to hope for anything any more. I can't find hope to live any more..."
Tears burned in Astrid's eyes, but she pushed them away. "But you're going to live. You're going to come back home with me to your—our house. Toothless is going to be there, Stormfly is going to be there. You're going to live.
"Someday, we'll have kids! When he's born, you're going to hold him and count all of his little tiny toes and make some bad joke about how you only have five when he as ten. We're going to watch him grow up and you're going to love him to pieces. He's going to grow up so fast that the day when he's off to college is going to here just like that. Then our life together can start. We can travel the world or we can stay at home with each together. We're going to grow old together. We can be together, and that's what matters.
"There's always going to be an Astrid and Hiccup. You're going to live. You... have to live..." Astrid took in a shaky breath and pressed her lips against Hiccup's forehead. "Promise?"
There was a pause as Hiccup worked to swallow the lump in his throat. He felt a flash of regret at his moment of selfishness, which had upset Astrid as now tears slowly fell down her cheeks. Trying to fix his wrong, he reached up to return her kiss. "I can't promise, but I'll try my best."
Astrid smiled, brushing away her tears. "That's all I'm asking for."
-xx—xx-
"Don't let go, Daddy!"
"It'll be fine, Hiccup. Steady on your feet."
"I'm right here, Hiccup, don't worry, I will catch you."
Three year old Hiccup teetered unsteadily across the ice and a big grin spread across his face as he landed safely in his father's arms.
"Good job, Hiccup!" Stoick looks up to the person behind the camera. "Valka, we have our very own hockey star on our hands."
"The best hockey player in Canada."
"In the world, Mummy!"
"Of course, in the world, Hiccup."
Astrid smiled as she watched an old home video of the Haddocks when they lived in Newfoundland. Hiccup was only three years old and his parents were teaching him how to skate on their own rink in their backyard. Little Hiccup was bundled up tightly from his tuque to his snow pants, so even when he fell on his behind, it didn't hurt at all.
As the home video finished, the next video was a recent one, from when Hiccup got his first prosthetic skate. Astrid helped him relearn how to skate, and Stoick got the idea stuck in his head to film the whole thing.
"Ah fuck!"
"Language, Hiccup."
"As if you give two fucks about a strong word," Hiccup retorted as he accepted Astrid's helping hand off the ice.
"And as if you have ever given a strong word because you landed on your ass on the ice."
"Yeah, I know, it's just... this stupid thing," Hiccup said quietly, shaking his left foot with the prosthesis attached. "It's different."
"It's just learning how to balance on the ice again."
"Someday I'll be fast as you again."
"In your dreams, Haddock, you could never beat me in the first place."
Astrid threw down her phone and rubbed her hand across her eyes, willing herself not to cry in the middle of a Tim Hortons. She was waiting in the Tim's around the corner from the hospital for visiting hours to start. She wasn't sure what made her watch the home videos, maybe a little bit of nostalgia mixed too much wistful thinking.
It had only been less than a day since she had last seen Hiccup, but she already missed him. Every single moment apart was filled with anxiety as she worried that Hiccup passed away without her beside him, but every day, she would return and Hiccup would be there for her.
But for how long?
Quickly wiping away the last of the tears, she picked up her things and headed towards the exit. Stopping by a garbage can, she drained the rest of her coffee and rolled up the rim of her cup.
Please play again / Réessayez S.V.P
Angrily, she threw the cup into the trashcan. Taking two steps, she had to stumble to a near by bench to collect herself.
Why was she so angry at loosing at Roll Up the Rim? Why did she miss Hiccup as if she was a love sick teenager? What was she going to do without Hiccup?
Taking deep breaths, she opened her eyes to look at the blue sky. Just one thing at a time. First priority: Hiccup.
There were good days and bad days. Sometimes Hiccup would be in so much pain that he would be high on painkillers and all he could do is lay in bed, resting. The good days were far apart and few in number, but those days, Astrid could nearly imagine it was before Hiccup's relapse. Nearly is the operative word. He was still skinny as a stick, his thin limbs poking out from under his hospital robe as he lay on the too small hospital bed. But still on the good days, Hiccup would smile at Astrid as if nothing was wrong and she would smile back, because she's happy at least in this moment.
This day, it was a good day. As Astrid came into the room, he was sitting up in the bed, slowly picking through a bland hospital meal.
"Astrid!" he said happily, reaching out to hug her.
"Hey, babe," Astrid said, leaning down for the hug and kissed his cheek. Hiccup didn't let go right away, just pressing his nose against her neck, breathing in deeply.
"You went for Tim's?"
"Sorry, is that bothering you?" Previously, Hiccup had reacted badly to some scents, Astrid's coconut shampoo made him feel severely nauseous, enough for Astrid to switch shampoo that very day. She wouldn't be surprised if the strong smell of coffee would upset his stomach. Astrid tried to pull away, but Hiccup just tightened his grip.
"No. It's fine," Hiccup said, burying his nose more deeply into her shoulder. "It's like before..."
"I'm sorry, babe," Astrid said, kissing his forehead as she helped him lay down again. Hiccup groaned and Astrid quickly pressed the morphine pump for him.
"Thank you, milady," Hiccup said as she mopped the sweat of his face.
She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Let's watch something before the game starts," she suggested. "What do you want to watch?"
"Anything," Hiccup said, his voice soft, but he was not watching the TV, instead just staring at Astrid as she picked up the remote.
After flicking through channels, she found an rerun of Murdoch Mysteries. She settled down on the bed next to Hiccup, slipping under Hiccup and leaning his head on her shoulder. They watched the episode in silence for a little while until Astrid commented, "I like him," about one of the characters, Constable Crabtree.
"Does he remind you of anyone you know?" Hiccup said, striking a pose the best he could as he was attached to IV lines and was weak as a kitten.
"Hmmm... brown hair... funny... charming Newfoundland accent..." Astrid mused. "Nah. Nobody I know of."
"Hey!" Hiccup shoved Astrid.
She laughed and kissed his hand. "Okay, who do you like?"
"She's hot." Hiccup nodded towards Dr Ogden.
"Oh wow, you definitely have a type," Astrid teased.
"Yes, I do."
"Blonde and tall."
"Nope. Smart, caring, fiercely independent and kick ass."
"Don't you forget the last one," Astrid said, giving him a small squeeze on his shoulder.
"Never, milady."
They settled down against each other until the episode ended and the game started.
"Couple of more weeks until we get to go to the game," Astrid said.
Hiccup smiled. "I can't wait."
But as the Stanley Cup playoffs continued, Hiccup's health continued to slowly decline. The finals started, Hiccup's lungs started to rattle. The Leafs had made it to the finals, playing against the Oilers, while Hiccup fought with alternating periods of alertness and dementia.
It was a new morning in June and this was the day that Death came and told them, "It's time."
Astrid and Hiccup spent the day quietly. Astrid held his hand tightly as if when she would let go, she would be letting go of Hiccup forever. Visiting hours were over hours ago, but the hospital staff let her stay until the end.
The last moment of clarity came and Astrid told Hiccup over and over again that she loved him, but the only thing that Hiccup could think to say was, "The blue line..."
Astrid brushed her hand against his forehead. "What do you mean?"
"On the hockey rink... behind the blue line you're safe..." Hiccup whispered. "Home turf..."
"Yeah."
Tears burned in his eyes and he closed his eyes. "I'm nearly back at the blue line... I'm so tired..."
"I know you are... I know you are," Astrid whispered. "You are my hero, heroes fight so hard. It's okay if you need to... stop fighting now. I understand.
Hiccup nodded shakily and reached out to take Astrid's hand again. "For you, milady, I would've fought everything. I would've protected you from everything."
"I know," Astrid said with a watery smile. "I don't need you to fight for me anymore. I can look after myself."
Closing his eyes, Hiccup whispered, "But I wanted to be there for you."
"And I wanted for you to be there beside me for a long time," Astrid answered, kissing his hand gently. "I wanted to take care of you through happy days, sad days, ugly days and beautiful days, but your mom and dad will take care of you now. You don't need to fight anymore."
Hiccup felt Astrid press a kiss against his lips once more as she said, "I love you so much, Hiccup."
He so badly wanted to open his eyes once more to see Astrid's beautiful face, to look into her eyes and tell her once more with all of his heart, soul, and dying body, that he loved her.
Astrid seemed to know what Hiccup was trying to do as she hugged him closer and whispered, "You'll be able to tell me that you love me many, many, many times when we are together again. It's okay, Hiccup, I'm going to miss you so, so, so much until I see you again, but it's okay. I understand why you have to leave. I love you, Hiccup Haddock, see you on the other side."
The blue line beeped and then steadied before disappearing into a thin line.
-xx—xx-
Fate is too cruel. Leafs would lose to the Oilers in Game 7. The tickets to the game remained unused. Hiccup would pass away after fighting so hard for months and years.
Fate had decided from the very beginning that this is how his story ends.
Just some things were never meant to be.