[Kasuka's POV]

Kasuka paced his dressing room after getting the news that Izaya wasn't feeling well and had decided to go home, needing bed rest or something like that. He'd been advised to not go and check on him until tomorrow, for his own health and so that Izaya wouldn't worry while recovering, but he didn't want to listen to them.

Sure, the man had looked sick when he ran out earlier but sickness doesn't hit someone that suddenly, at least not that Kasuka knew of. His boyfriend had looked completely fine and just a little bit tired until he blurted out how long he'd had a crush on him - stupid decision on his part... Why? Why did I have to tell him that? I could have lied! I could have just gone 'Ive had a crush since the moment I laid eyes on you' and not lied, and kept it vague and then he wouldn't have run off because of me being a freak!

The actor took a deep breath as he sat back down on the couch, head in his hands as he tried to calm himself down and not think that their relationship was over. Sure, he'd said something weird - but it's not like Izaya would dump him over it, right? Kasuka made Izaya happy, it was that simple and the actor was pretty sure he was right about it. He'd given Kasuka nothing but love and affection back, in his own way, the entire time they've been dating and even took steps forward himself - it's not like Izaya wasn't enjoying himself to begin with, so this one little thing couldn't possibly make his boyfriend dislike him...

He hoped.

Kasuka took another few deep breaths as he felt his head pound again, making him groan at himself as he laid down. Now's not the fucking time for a panic attack, brain! Thank you very much... He cursed at himself, pushing his mind somewhere else and thinking of various things that made him happy until he felt fine again, peaking at the clock before letting out a sigh. Well that only wasted 45 minutes of my life.

He sat up slowly and went back to pacing, not knowing what else to do as he couldn't seem to sit still without making himself feel even worse.

The more he paced the more he thought though, pondering how Izaya would act around him when they saw each other the next day or the day after that if he really wasn't feeling well. Speaking of which, he wasn't even sure if Izaya was really sick or not. He looked bad when leaving, but like he'd said... If he is sick though, then I'm an ass for assuming it's just my fault..

He paused in the middle of the room and wondered what to do before running a hand through his hair, the growing headache he had not helping him think clearly. "Ugghhh... First things first, find aspirin. Second, go check on Izaya." he decided, going to his desk and rummaging around until he found what he wanted and could walk out to find some water, downing 2 of the small pills before discarding the bottle with a sigh. "Alright.. I have a boyfriend to comfort." he muttered to himself, thinking of an excuse quickly before leaving and heading off to Izaya's apartment.

Kasuka now stood in front of his boyfriend's door, fidgeting his hands in his pockets as he wondered if he should knock or just leave. He'd been confident on the ride here that going and checking on him, whether Kasuka was the issue or not, would be the best thing to do - but now that he was here, the thoughts of consequences in case he WAS the problem kept entering his mind and making him hesitate.

Ideas of Izaya dumping him the moment he opened the door made him falter even more but he gritted his teeth and finally knocked, thinking that if Izaya didn't want to talk to him then he didn't want to talk and they could leave it at that.. Hopefully.

He was patient with waiting for the door, not wanting to rush his boyfriend, but once 5 minutes passed he knocked again, convincing himself that Izaya just hadn't heard him. There was a peep-hole on the door, so if the ravenett had seen him through it and just decided to ignore him he wouldn't be surprised either, but hey, he could at least say he tried.

He tried a third and a fourth time, finally feeling like giving up as he scuffed his shoe on the floor while he waited. A deep frown was on his face as he turned away from it, about to head off before he stopped himself and bit his lip, turning back to it and shuffling around as he looked for a spare key. Almost everyone had one somewhere, so if he just looked hard enough he could be able to get inside. And no, he was not doing this for his own personal gain, he was worried sick about his boyfriend - who he'd just so imagined to have fallen somewhere and gotten himself hurt, making him unable to answer the door.

The actor finally found a key, taped to the bottom of the door where there was a little gap from the floor. Damn, I should try this with mine.. He brought himself back to the task at hand and turned the key in the lock, biting his lip again as he stepped inside. "Izaya?" Kasuka called out, looking around the spacious apartment.

"Up here." a voice called from upstairs, making him freeze. He'd never heard someone other than Izaya inside the apartment before so he momentarily wondered if he should call the police. It wouldn't be a surprise if someone had decided to come in and try to kill him for something he'd done as his work, but he didn't want to be too hasty. After all, if the police came and found out what Izaya did then whoever was here wouldn't be the only one to go to jail. So, he just got out his cellphone and opened it, hand ready to dial something as he trailed up the stairs and looked around, seeing Izaya's door cracked open.

"Who's there?" he called again, slowly walking towards it and pushing it open more to see Izaya laid on his bed with a woman sitting in a chair beside him. The informant tried to say something before the woman flicked his head and she turned to the door, about to answer him. When they locked eyes she cut off quickly, looking as shocked as he did.

"Damn Izaya, I knew you could trick just about anyone, but an actor? Good on ya.." she huffed in amazement, standing up and going over to him to shake his hand. Kasuka cautiously returned it. "Don't look at me like that, I'm this bastard's assistant. And you must be this psycho's partner, yeah?" she asked casually, making his eyes widen before he glanced at Izaya.

"Namie, you're being a cruel bitch again. Either do your job or leave." Izaya whined from the bed, sounding just as bad as he looked at the moment. His bangs were stuck to his forehead from sweat and he looked even more pale than usual, a very bad sign.

"My job description never included taking care of dipshit informants, ya got that? You're lucky you pay me, if you didn't then I just might be mean enough to let you stay here and die." The woman, now known as Namie, commented, making both ravenetts sigh.

"Namie, correct? Thank you for taking care of him, but I can handle it from here." he muttered, giving her a small smile before going to Izaya's side and beginning to worry over him. "Hey, how you feeling?" he asked softly, giving him a smile to hopefully calm him down a bit. The man had his eyes firmly shut though, brows knitted from a headache.

"Not good, so you can leave too." Kasuka frowned. "Izaya, you shouldn't be alone when you're sick." "Don't care, just go down and watch TV or something if you don't want to go home." "Izaya." "Kasu-kun." Izaya finally opened his eyes, sounding serious even though he'd used his nickname. It was probably because Namie was still in the room and watching them in confusion.

"Izaya, do you really want me to leave?" the actor challenged, keeping his face neutral as he hovered over him, eyes staying locked on his boyfriend's. When the ruby-eyed informant just turned his head to the side, he knew the real answer was "no". Kasuka finally let out a small smile again as he sat back in the chair Namie had been using, listening to her finally leaving.

Chapter 20~

I know there isn't much in this chapter except a worry-wort Kasuka, but most of the drama is currently in Izaya's head at the moment, so I hope you understand.

Anyways, here's a little filler before he got through various parts of Izaya trying to regain his memory, some more painful ones and some very happy ones popping up along the way instead. I hope you all like flashbacks, because the next chapter and possibly the one after that are gonna be full of 'em!

I hope you all liked this chapter! Favorite, follow and review to see more!