Hi everyone sorry I took so long to update, but this is the longest and one of the most importants chapters of the story.

I wrote it three time and I'm still with doubts about it , so let me know what you think.

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Disclaimers: I own nothing. All characters are owned by Charlaine Harris, Alan Ball and HBO.

Chapter 5

Bill's POV

God, I hate that woman! Nan Flannagan is the most annoying person I have ever met!

When I became a King, I knew it would be hard, but besides the normal difficulties, I am always under pressure because of her.

Russel Edgington brought us many problems, especially in what concerns of people's fears and doubts about us. It was very difficult to bring people to do not be afraid of us, the truth is that they still are but at least we got a bit of theirs trust.

In addition, after what Edgington has done, vampires think they are free to do what they want, feed from whom they want, where they want, and that has brought me many headaches. I lost count of how many vampires we had to execute because of their crimes.

So because of all of this, Nan is always behind me, telling me what to do, because she doesn't care about the vampires security, she cares about image, public image. I even had to change my haircut and my clothes style because of me being a king. I knew it was necessary because being a King is a very important business but she controls every small detail when I am on public, even my voice tone or my better face's side.

It's so stupid. Being a King shouldn't be only fame and success or richness, although I appreciate that too, I has to be about our community, the well-being of the people we are controlling.

Well she was here for about one hour and a half, discussing what I should wear, say and how to act. Now she has finally left.

My thoughts turn to Sookie, my beautiful Sookie. I'm so glad she is fine.

The last year was the worst in so many things because I thought it was my fault that she was dead, and the fact that other's also blamed me for her dead, only made thing worse.

I missed her. I missed her scent, her heat, her voice, her lips, her body… I missed her in my arms, the feeling of her being safe in my arms, although I am a monster. All of that, I miss.

I hope that one day she will forgive me. I'm not going to lie and say I don't hope she will come back to me same day, because I do, but that is a dream. A dream that if came true, would make me the happiest man in the world.

I know Eric will be after her now, he will try to make her his and she probably will go with him because he told her the truth and especially because she has his blood in her system.

It's selfish but need to see her. I need to make sure that the she being back isn't only just a dream. Even have pasting almost three months, sometime I can't believe.

I decided to go to Merlotte's. Through our bond, I could feel Sookie was in a mixture of feeling.

I heard a knock in my office door.

- Come on in.

Katarina came in.

- Excuse me, Mr. Compton.

- Say Katarina – I said with a cold tone of voice. She felt it.

- Well, I just wanted to know if you need anything.

- Please, ask to prepare the car. I'm leaving.

- Do you want me to come with you?

I remembered the last time Sookie saw Katarina. That thought almost made me laugh.

- It's not necessary. Just ask for the car.

- Certainly, Mr. Compton. Excuse me – she said leaving the room after.

I had the feeling that Katarina thought she was more than just one of my security guards. I fucked her sometimes but there was nothing but that. Sex. Well, there was blood too.

Maybe Sookie was right. Katarina was just a fangbanger .

The memory of that night, also made remember about Sookie and Alcide's complicity. Maybe it was just something of my mind but he called her "baby" and she kissed him on his cheek, twice. Probably it was my vampire possessive instinct talking.

I hope. Werewolves are dangerous and aren't even in public knowledge. They have more secrets and problems than we vampires do. Yes, they are our mortal enemies and I do not support seeing Sookie with our man in that way but I fear for her security before everything.

- Mr. Compton the car is ready – the voice of my security guard broke my thoughts.

- Thank you.

She smiled and left. I went to my room to dress my jacket and went to the car.

Simon, my driver, was already waiting for me outside the car. He opened the door for me. That was one of the things that were hard for me to get used . I entered the car, sitting in the back sit.

- Where do you wish to go, Mr. Compton?

- Merlotte's, please, Simon.

He turned the car on and started the ride to Merlotte's.

Twenty minutes later, he was parking in Merlottes's.

- We arrived. Do you want me to accompany you or stay in the car.

- I would rather you stay in the car, please.

- As you wish, Mr. Compton. If you need anything just call.

- Thank you, Simon.

I left the car and walked to Merlotte's. I could feel Sookie was sorry for something. When I came in I saw Sookie sat next to Jason

- It's okay my day was a little boring anyway – he said.

I sat in one of her tables. She noticed my presence, kissed Jason in his cheek and headed to my table. She sat in front of me

I smiled and said:

- Good evening Sookie.

- Did you know Russel Edgington is alive?- she blurted and I felt smile varnished. How…

- Sookie... – I tried. I had failed with her. Again.

- Did or didn't you?

- Yes.

- Was there any truth in our relationship? – she asked furious. I could understand her but that made me feel hurt.

- How did you discover? – I asked.

- Why is that important? The real important here is that he is alive and you told me he was gone.

- Alcide told you didn't he? – I knew there was something between them. It had to be him…

- No. Wait? He knows too? – … but it wasn't. Who told her? Eric? I don't thinks so.

- Certainly. – I was being bad but he knew and I didn't like that friendship

- Great! Now it's official , you are all liars!

She stood and I grabbed my hand and pushed her back to her sit. She needed to know the truth.

- Sookie, let me explain to you.

- There is nothing to explain! Let me go! You're hurting me. – I didn't want to her, so I let her go.

- Sorry. But you don't understand.

- Why? Because I'm human?

- Sookie don't be childish! – Why did she had to act like that?

- So I'm acting like a child now? You come to Bon Temps seduced me, pretend to love me and to be someone you weren't , lie to me uncountable times and I'm the child?

- I didn't... – I started but she stood and walked outside.

I was feeling furious, sad and disappointed with myself. What she had just said made me feel heartbroken.

I let her calm down for a while. I knew how she could be when she was furious.

After a little while I went outside and knelt next to her.

She was crying. I could hear it and that made me feel even worse. She was trying to hide that because she turned her head.

- Sookie, I know you don't trust me right now but I going to learn everything I can about the last Russel Edgington moves – I said hoping that that would make her feel better.

She simply nod and I said:

- When you calm down, if you want, you can come talk to me to my place.

I really hoped she did. There were so many things I wanted to explain to her. So many things I had wanted to tell but never did. Things that would make me feel the worst man in the world and other's that would make feel relieved.

I went back to my car, not stopping to think that the night had gone from bad to worse.

When I finally got home, I went o my bedroom in vampire speed. I needed a bath to clear my thoughts.

Xxxxxxx

After the bat I felt better, not well, but better. I didn't know how much Sookie seemed to hate me until this night. Her words kept repeating in my head.

- So I'm acting like a child now? You come to Bon Temps seduced me, pretend to love me and to be someone you weren't, lie to me uncountable times and I'm the child?

And every time they made me feel worse. I shocked my head trying to clean my thoughts.

I didn't pretend to love her. I loved her. Loved her as I never thought was possible.

I didn't pretend to be someone I wasn't. Every time I was with her, I was myself. I felt free.

But I did lied to her. I lied to her and for that, I was sorry. Really sorry.

I felt Sookie fear, turning into shock and I froze but a few minute later she was already calm and I relieved. I dind0t know what had happened but now she was fine.

I opened my wardrobe and took my sleeping clothes and I quickly dressed.

I took a box off the back of the wardrobe. That was the box with Sookie's ones that she kept in my house.

One brush, a perfume, some nightgowns, a necklace and a picture.

The picture was exactly one of Sookie's possessions but something I had to remember her. The box smelled like her and that brought comfort to me.

I just stood that for a while, my mind full of memories; some were bad but mostly were good ones. I mean when you love someone it all seems perfect, for me Sookie was perfect.

I closed the box and put it back in its place. Turned on the alarm and went my bad.

A few minutes later, I feel asleep dreaming about Sookie as I did almost every night.

xxxxx

The next night was more peaceful than the last. There weren't many problems to deal with and I even got the pleasure of Jessica's visit.

I was glad she was happy, I was glad she had Hoyt because with life I had right now I wouldn't be able to give her the attention I knew she needed and deserved. I was proud of how much she had grown in the last year.

I was sitting on the couch watching the news because now I didn't have anything important that needed to be signed or reviewed or thought about, when I felt Sookie presence getting near. My attention turned to our bond. She was determinate. I hoped she was coming here.

I waited patiently and when I heard her footsteps, I stood. I asked to be alone so that we would have some privacy.

This was the moment of the truth.

I sent a message to my front door guard that they should let Sookie Stackhouse come in.

Few seconds later, I felt she was outside and heard her voice.

I opened the door and saw her. She was standing in my front porch. She was wearing a beautiful outfit and her hair was losen.

She looked like an angel.

-Good evening, Sookie. Would you like to come on in? – I asked with a smile in my face.

- Good evening, Bill. Please, thank you – she answered with a nervous smile.

I stepped back so that she could come in. I guided her to the living room and sat on the couch in from of her.

- I suppose you decided to talk to me.

- Well… Yes. I guess we should talk.

I nodded and waited for her to say something but she didn't so I asked:

- What to you want to ask me?

- Ah… There are so many things, Bill. I don't even know where to star… - she admitted with a sad face.

- What if we started from the beginning? I suppose you want to know how I came to Bon Temps?

- Yes, please.

- Some years ago, you should be a baby by that time, I met Nan Flanagan in London – I started. – She asked me the reason why I didn't kill humans and I answered her that humans had no fault that we needed to feed. She said there was a group of people who thought the same way I did. This organization was trying to synthesize blood.

- Did you join that group?

- I did and I moved back to the USA. I was involved in these vampires' policies almost since the beginning. I wasn't part of the laboratory or that. I was a spy. I was supposed to find people who had these ideas and wanted to mainstream. After we came out of the coffins, I continued working with the authority, just to make sure vampires weren't breaking the rules.

- Were you already living in Louisiana?

- Well, I moved to Louisiana about two years before our existence became public. Queen Sophie-Anne asked called me three months before I met you. She told me she needed me to do her a favor, and when she said she needed she meant I didn't have a choice. She told me I had to go back to my hometown. I was supposed to seduce a girl and bring her to the Queen. She told me the girl was special but didn't explain me in what.

Sookie's became heavier, this part of the story explained why I came to Bon Temps, why I met her and why we fell in love. I was afraid it would response to some questions she had but in the wrong way. I was afraid she would think I never loved her, so I continued.

- She gave a file about the girl, I guess you already understood it's you who I am talking about – she nodded. – I thought it would be easy, I would use my vampire skills and bring you to her. That was all. It all seemed simple. I came here and prepared my life just to stay here for a while and the night that planned, I went to the bar. I could feel your scent from outside. It was intoxicating, sweet.

Sookie looked to me attentively. I took a deep breath and asked:

- Are you fine, Sookie?

- Yes… - she breathed. – You can continue, please.

I nodded.

- When I walked in, I saw you. I had already seen you in pictures that were present in your file, but they didn't make honor to your beauty. You stared at me and instinctively knew what I was and you seemed exited with it. That put me confused. When you came to attend me you didn't look afraid. You were happy, kind. My first thought could have been "this will make things easier" but no, you interested me. I was curious about you. Then you saved me, and even closer to me you didn't seem scared. I wanted to know you, what you liked. The next evening was the worse for me. They wanted revenge and they did it on you. I didn't stared at you while you were being beat, like Eric said. I had just got there and as you saw, I killed them. About giving you my blood, well, there was more than just an intention actually, there were three. I gave you my blood because I needed to save you, I needed to reattribute what you had done to me, I cared about you. In addition, because that would make things easier for me to know where you were, in that part I was thinking about work. Finally, there was the vampire part, I wanted you, and I wanted you to be mine.

- Please Bill, just give me a minute – Sookie asked. I knew this conversation was disturbing her. I that made feel bad.

I stood and walked to where she was sit. I sat next to her and grabbed her hand. She didn't protest, she squeezed my hand and took a deep breath, then nodded. I continued:

- As the day pasted, I was beginning to ignore the plan more and more. The day you kissed me I felt bad, because you were being so kind and sweet with me and I wanted you in a forbidden way. Then your Gran was dead. I felt guilty and I made a promise to myself: I would protect you until I found the true dead. Then there was the night that made me realize what I felt: the night we first made love. That night I realized that the care and need to protect you could be resumed in one simple and little word: love. That night I realized I loved you, although I only told you those words many night later, too much nights later, now I realize. Then I almost lost, I promised myself I would save you but I know I have failed you many times. After that there was Jessica, there isn't any secret behind her, she was my punished that's all.

Sookie was still holding my hand and I understand she was crying. I knelt in front of her and raised her chin, cleaning the tears from her eyes.

- Sookie, sweetheart, are you fine?

She sniffled.

- Yes, it's just much to get that's all.

I kissed her forehead and continued:

- Sookie, I know you mustn't believe me but I love you, I think I did from the very beginning and all the times I told you that I meant. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. Last year was the worse of my existence. I have never felt as empty as I felt when I stopped feeling you. When I couldn't feel you were fine, safe, even knowing you weren't with me but you were safe. I dreamed about you every night. I missed you. I missed your scent, your heat, your voice, your lips, your body… I missed you in my arms, the feeling of you being safe in my arms, although I am a monster. I missed it and I still miss. I this may be hard to believe because I was with other women while you were gone but Sookie none of those women smelled like you, pleasured me like you, made me feel happy or alive as you do because none of them were you, because I did not love them.

Sookie started crying even more. I stood.

- Please, sweetheart, don't cry.

Sookie hugged me . Her head was in my chest.

- I love you too, Bill. I believe you.

- Than, please, do not cry.

Sookie laughed and said:

- You're crying too. There is something I need to tell you. I…

- Hum… If you two love birds don't mind.

The most annoying person in the world interrupted my Sookie: Nan Flanagan.

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