:Admit It:
"You are a colossal idiot."
Sheldon looked over his shoulder as Howard shut and locked the office door. "Excuse me? Who are you speaking to?"
"You," Howard said angrily. "You are an idiot! Why haven't you stopped this yet?"
Sheldon set aside his marker and turned around. "Are you having a stroke? You are not making sense."
Howard slammed his hand down on Sheldon's desk hard enough to make the pencil holder rattle. "What doesn't make sense is you standing by while Penny slowly kills herself!"
Sheldon stiffened and looked away. "Penny is perfectly happy."
"She's dying inside, and you know it," Howard hissed. "She's half drunk every night. Her confidence is shot to hell. She's trapped herself in a relationship with Leonard because she thinks he's the best she can hope for. She has no one outside our group and we've almost choked the life out of her!"
Sheldon wanted to argue. He wanted to pretend he didn't know what Howard was talking about. He was hopeless at lying, though. His shoulders drooped and he ran a hand through his closely cropped hair. "I know. But what can I do? Penny has made her choices."
Howard shook his head firmly. "Only because she didn't know she had other options, Sheldon. You should have said something. You should have told her you love her."
Sheldon's eyes widened in alarm.
The engineer nodded. "Yeah, I know. So does Bernie. I don't think Raj, Amy or Leonard do, though. I know Penny doesn't. If she did, maybe she would have chased after you."
Sheldon shook his head and slumped in his chair. "Why would Penny ever be interested in me?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. "I infuriate her. I spent years deliberately pushing her away. Always insulting her so that she didn't get too close. By the time I realized why I treated her the way I do, I was with Amy. Then she renewed her relationship with Leonard." Sheldon shook his head firmly. "Penny has never shown the slightest interest in me beyond annoyed friendship."
Howard pulled a chair around so he could sit facing Sheldon. "She called you a beautiful mind. She defends you against everyone but herself. You are the one she turns to for help or advice. You are the only one she takes care of when one of us is ill. She let you stay with her, even giving up her own bed. She fought for you against bullies. Hell, she told Leonard to grow up and stop playing with toys, but kneed a kid in the gonads to get your stuff back! God, Sheldon! She even puts up with Amy's creepy remarks and innuendos but punched me for hitting on her!"
Sheldon frowned as he thought about what Howard was saying. When presented in that light, it did seem as though Penny tended to favor him. "How can you be sure?" he mumbled.
Howard stood and returned the chair to it place. "How can you not be, with your IQ?" He walked to the door and unlocked it. He paused before leaving. "If you want to know for sure, ask her how she feels, Sheldon. She loves you. She just can't bring herself to say it first."
"What if I can't, either?" Sheldon asked as Howard opened the door.
Howard looked back at him with worry. "Then we'll lose her. Sooner or later, she'll leave because it will hurt too much to stay."
Sheldon smoothed his shirts and took a deep breath. He debated (for the 37th time today) whether this was the right thing to do. He was risking so much. Amy and Leonard would be hurt. He may even lose their friendships. On the other hand, if he did nothing, he would lose Penny. Howard was right. He knew Penny was miserable. He just doesn't know if he can be who and what Penny wanted. But he has to try. He loves her. She is more important to him that his roommate or his girlfriend. If there was even the slightest chance that he could make her happy, he absolutely had to try.
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny?"
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny?"
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny?"
The door opened and he found himself searching her face carefully. She was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes. He took a deep breath, trying to rally his scant amount of courage. He had it rehearsed. The words he wanted to say were on the tip of his tongue. He would tell her he loves her, and ask if she could ever love him back. He would tell her he was going to end his relationship with Amy, because he had realized she was the one he really wanted.
"Hey, Sheldon. What's up?" she asked tiredly.
He opened his mouth. Then he swallowed and opened it again. "Do you have any peppermint tea?"
Penny nodded and walked to her kitchen. She grabbed a box from the counter and walked back over. "Here you go," she said softly.
Sheldon turned the box over in his hands a couple of times. "Thank you," he finally mumbled before running back to his own apartment. He leaned back against the closed door, his eyes shut tight to try and contain his emotions. He heard her door close and he drew in a ragged breath. Slowly he straightened up and walked to the kitchen where he slid the box of tea bags onto a top shelf and closed the cabinet. He shuffled back toward his bedroom, his shoulders slumped with regret. Maybe he could try again tomorrow.