:Lab Accident:
Penny closed her eyes and pretended she was on a beach. The sun was warm. The sand was soft. The air smelled of salt and suntan lotions. It was relaxing and soothing. With a sigh Penny reopened her eyes and looked at Sheldon. He fidgeted sheepishly.
"It wasn't my fault," he said anxiously.
Penny sighed and looked at the body at her feet. "How do you explain it, then?"
Sheldon's right eye twitched and he hung his head with embarrassment. Penny bent and poked her forefinger into the body of her ex. "Dammit. I liked Zack, too. He was sweet and funny." She looked back up at him. "Sweetie, you have to stop doing this! I'm running out of places to dump a body."
Sheldon nodded and dropped down into his spot. "I know," he whined, looking at her pleadingly. "It's just… I was hungry!"
Penny walked over to the closet, patting his arm as she passed him. She grabbed a garbage bag and went back to bundle up the hollowed out body.
A lab accident 16 weeks ago had not turned Sheldon into an evil genius. It had turned him into a ravenous genius with a taste for human organs and bones. He had even grown a specialized appendage to help him feed in a fastidious way. It reminded her of those Sigourney Weaver movies with the big bugs. A tube-like protrusion injected venom into his *ahem* prey, that dissolved the bones and cartilage and allowed him to suck out everything neatly. Trust Sheldon to stay tidy and clean while sucking out someone's insides.
All that was left behind was a squishy, icky meat-suit. Luckily they folded easily and fit into a garbage bag. So far, Penny had been forced to dump 37 bodies. Mostly strangers off the street, but Raj and Leonard's families were still asking questions. She tied off the bag and stood up.
"I'll pick up a pizza on my way back. No snacking while I'm gone," she warned.
Sheldon gave her a petulant look but nodded. As she left, she heard him muttering. "Good thing I love her, or I'd suck her dry." She smiled as she went down the stairs. He could be so cute sometimes.
A/N: Yeah, I don't know. I have no excuse. It is what it is.