Date: TA 2884
Thorin: 138 years old
Lina: 135 years old
"Heyla, sister!" The cheerful voice drew Lina's attention from the chainmail she was repairing.
Kira strode confidently into the forge, a ridiculous grin plastered across her face. She unbuckled her sword and laid it across the table before settling herself down onto a stool.
"Are you returned from the villages of Men already?" Lina felt a bit surprised. The trip didn't seem to have lasted long. She calculated the time in her head. No, the traders had been out for nearly a month. Enough time to visit the main trading centers and get back to the city.
Lina took one look at her friend's slightly sadistic grin. A vague uneasiness began to grow within her. Whatever had put that particular look on her friend's face, it would do one of three things to Lina: make her laugh, make her cry, or, possibly, both at once. The last time Kira had worn this particular smile, she'd just sent three young dwarven-warriors-in-training sprawling in the largest mud hole she could possibly find. Two of those dwarves had been Lina's nephews.
"What did Kili do?" Lina asked warily. The grin had to be because of something Kili had done. After all, Kira had been out on the road for a month, and the only dwarf with her in that caravan Lina was interested in hearing about was Kili.
In the five years since Fili had gone out on his first trading caravan, Kili had been chomping at the bit to go outside the city. His twentieth birthday had marked his passage into what could loosely be described as adulthood. He was fully grown, though not necessarily fully matured. While Fili's experience with battle had tempered his own desire for fighting, Kili did not have that to temper his desire.
"Absolutely nothing," Kira announced with a sly grin. Lina set aside her hammer and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Care to explain?" she asked, quirking one eyebrow at her friend.
"He was hoping for an adventure like the one we had with Fili," Kira chuckled. Her chuckle turned into a full on laugh at some past event, obviously revolving around Kili.
"He got adventure, just not the kind he was hoping for." Kira wiped away tears of laughter from her eyes as she began to tell Lina what had transpired in one of the towns of Men.
Ever since the destruction of the warg pack by the dwarves, the town they'd rescued had played host to the dwarven caravans more than once. In fact, much to the dismay of some of the older men in the town, the dwarves, in particular the female dwarven warriors had gained a bit of a following. This following consisted mainly of young human females, determined to be as brave, as fierce, and as strong as Lina and Kira. The two female dwarves had given the young girls some lessons in the use of the short sword, knife, and bow.
As the caravan entered this particular town once more, a group of young girls, wearing what passed for armor, descended joyfully upon Kira. They begged and pleaded with the dwarf to give them more lessons with their weapons. Chuckling, Kira had agreed, as she always did. This time, however, she called Kili over to help with teaching archery as she was no great archer. This is when the adventure began, at least for Kili. It was also at this point Kira found the most entertaining thing she'd seen in many years.
Now something needs be said about the girls coming for lessons. These girls came from all over the town. They were the daughters of shopkeepers, merchants, craftsmen, and a few farmers coming into the town for trading. Most were between the ages of thirteen and seventeen: just old enough to begin truly thinking and deciding for themselves who and what they wanted to be, but young enough that most had not yet begun to court. There were exceptions of course. There were a couple of girls in the group who were only nine or ten. A few of the girls had married by sixteen as they did in those times, but most had remained single. For some it was a tossup as to which they found more appealing: weapons or males. Unfortunately for Kili, Kira had just combined the two for them.
Kira started giving the lesson as first one girl, then another noticed Kili standing a few feet away. Soon tiny whispers began to circulate through the group, and all eyes turned to the young male dwarf. Kili, however, was oblivious. He was checking over his bow, making sure the string was taut, and the like.
Upon looking up, he'd found that Kira had stopped speaking and was looking at him with great interest. It seemed all the females were. Now Kili had never come across so large a group of females before. Being raised among dwarves, he was accustomed to very few females as there are few females to be found among the dwarves. In the towns of men, however, women were at least equal, if not greater, in number to males. So the sheer number of females before him was strange. Even more strange were the expressions on their faces. A few had their mouths open in something akin to awe. Others looked very thoughtful. A couple of the youngest looked positively gleeful.
Throughout the lesson, or at least while Kira was watching, the girls were well-behaved. They only shot a few dozen glances in Kili's direction, blushing furiously whenever he caught them looking. Kira noted something she found highly amusing. The older girls pretended to focus only on their weapon training, but were actually far less focused than normal. Girls who could have hit the center of the target nine times out of ten now could not even place one arrow on the surface of the target. Apparently something, or someone, was distracting them. The youngest girls made no pretense. They openly gawked at the handsome young dwarf trying to show them how to properly hold their bows. One got a rather devious look on her face as she watched him.
This young and devious looking girl you would do well to remember. She was only nine, but quite fixated on males already. Unlike the older girls, she had no qualms about her fascination with Kili. Now, being young, her dirtiest of thoughts were actually quite pure. She had some notion of how one expressed their attraction to another. This was usually done with a kiss as she'd seen done many a time. She wasn't quite sure what exactly was so special about kissing, as she'd never been kissed, but she did know that the kisses the blacksmith's son gave her older sister produced such beautiful sighs. Whatever the kiss was for, she dreamed of finding someone handsome to kiss and be happy with. Marriage or anything beyond the kiss did not factor at all into her fantasy. The kiss was her goal. What she would want afterwards was irrelevant because even she had not thought that far ahead.
Foolishly, Kili thought this young girl would be the safest to be around. He, like many dwarves his age, had not yet developed any interest in members of the opposite sex. The young dwarf's mind was too filled with dreams of adventure and treasure of his own to have any room in it yet for females. Perhaps someday his mind would empty enough to allow thoughts of a woman in, but that day would not be today. Realizing the older girls found him attractive, Kili had decided to stay closer to the younger girl, mistakenly believing that age had something to do with how likely the girls were to desire him.
It took all of five minutes for the young girl to realize her great fortune. The man of her dreams, or so she thought then, had decided to be close to her! After the lesson, the girl had followed Kili quite stealthily, or so she believed. At first Kili paid her no attention. Then the giggling began. He'd whip around just in time to see the little girl turn aside, trying to pretend she was not following him.
The next two days the caravan spent in the village were pure torture for Kili. The little girl did not give up her pursuit of the handsome dwarf for it never occurred to her to do so. Kili took to hiding in the back of merchant wagons to escape her. Yet she somehow always managed to find him. Kira, of course, had nothing to do with that. After the wagons were spoiled as hiding places, Kili could be found in all sorts of interesting places. Kira's favorite was watching Kili accidentally trap himself on top of the covering over the town's bell. He'd been stuck up there until the little girl's mother called her for supper.
On the very morning the dwarves were to begin their journey back to Belegost, Kili made the mistake of letting his guard down. The relief of knowing he would soon be out of the little girl's range distracted him. Being, obviously, a dwarf, Kili was just the right height for the little girl. With a flying leap, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him squarely on the lips.
At this point in the story telling, Kira started laughing so hard tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes. Lina could not help hold back laughter of her own at the thought of Kili's face as the little girl kissed him. According to Kira, Kili's whole body went stiff as a board. His dark eyes went wide with shock. When the little girl finally went skipping away, quite pleased with having kissed her prey, Kira could quite clearly see the young dwarf's face. His eyes remained wide and the corners of his mouth turned down, his lips parted slightly in a combination of shock and horror. Kira was forced to literally pull him out of his catatonic state so the caravan could finally leave.
"I see Kili's adventure was nothing like he had hoped," Lina finally managed between snickers. She was, as she had predicted, torn between laughing and crying. Poor Kili. His first foray into the outside world had been such a disappointment. He'd been hoping for a fight like his older brother had once been in. Instead he finds himself hiding from a little girl bound and determined to kiss him. Fili came home from his adventure with a scar to show off proudly. Kili came home having been kissed for the first time in his life, and he was not pleased.