"Don't worry old man, the great Naruto Uzumaki will protect you!"

Naruto started flinging kunai and shuriken wherever and whenever he could, making Sakura and Tazuna extremely jumpy.

Ever since their run in with the Demon Brothers, Naruto had been trying to show off. Sasuke had taken it upon himself to take care of those too, so he wouldn't feel any guilt about not helping in the fight against Zabuza. Not that he would have felt much remorse to begin with.

"Would you cut that out, Naruto?" Sakura asked, annoyed. "What if a real ninja shows up and you run out of weapons because you were too busy showing off?" Sasuke had to agree with her a little on that, though he did have a bunch of extra kunai and things in a storage scroll if they needed it. He saw a little white rabbit jumping through the bushes, and apparently Naruto noticed it too, since it soon had a kunai lodged in the tree behind it, a mere inch away from its head.

"Oh no!" Naruto yelled, and ran over to pet and apologise to Haku's bunny. Sakura was close behind, berating him for being so "juvenile" as she liked to put it.

Sasuke calmly walked up behind them and took the rabbit from the Dobe. No need to let him scare the poor thing anymore, he figured. After he had gotten the rabbit calmed down, he shoved Naruto and Sakura to the ground, jumping up onto a tree branch above him so he could avoid the giant, swinging arch of Zabuza's sword. He smiled as he saw Kakashi order them into a defensive position around Tazuna.

"Why would we do that, Bakashi?" he asked from his perch upon the tree."You're going to end up trapped in a water prison jutsu anyway." He couldn't see Kakashi from where he was at, but he was hoping he'd had the effect he wanted. Apparently he had, since Kakashi rushed straight at Zabuza while he was still giving his, "I'm a big bad murderer come to eat you all" speech. Of course Zabuza got out of the way, but still, it was the thought that counted, Sasuke figured.

Kakashi and Zabuza got into a fight, throwing water clones and jumping around in the mist. It almost reminded Sasuke of a game of paintball. He wanted to join too, but he had to take care of the rabbit, whom he had dubbed Sir Derick. Naruto and Sakura stood awkwardly around Tazuna, trying to make up for the hole he had left in their defensive stance. Sasuke looked at Derick one more time, then tied him to a tree. With any luck, his new pet would still be there when he got back.

"Hey guys, long time no see!" he said, smiling and taking up his defensive stance between the two of them. Naruto cast him a dubious look, probably wondering where he had been, while Sakura just kept watching the battle before her.

"Is he going to be ok?" Sasuke heard Tazuna ask from behind. Naruto and Sakura exchanged worried glances, but he nodded enthusiastically.

"Bakashi Sensei will be fine! Sure, he's going to almost lose the battle and pass out afterwards, but he won't be dead. That's counted as just fine in my book." Sasuke watched as yet another one of Zabuza's clones was turned back into water, and wondered when the battle would turn. It couldn't take very long, since the two ninja had been fighting for almost five minutes. In a world of hyperspeed weirdos, five minutes was an eternity.

Sasuke's eye caught Kakashi's red one right before he was trapped inside the water prison. He briefly wondered how his sensei hadn't passed out from lack of air the last time, but just shrugged the thought off. If he got to questioning everything in his world, then the entire series would fall apart, and the fourth wall would shatter.

"Sensei!" He heard Naruto and Sakura yell. He just waved over to the white haired man cheerfully.

"Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke! Run! You three are no match for Zabuza. His clone won't be able to go far from where he's at, so make some distance." Sakura and Naruto didn't move, and he realized they were looking at him for leadership. Finally, some real appreciation, he thought.

"No thanks, Bakashi, I think we're good here. And you better not argue, you're not Kisame, so you can't really breathe underwater."

"Sasuke, you will be leading yourselves to death! You need to lea-"

"Hey! I just said don't argue! And don't worry, I have a plan." he said turning to Naruto and Sakura.

"You, and you" he said, pointing at each of them in turn. "Attack!" Naruto and Sakura looked at him like he was crazy, which he thought he may actually be. Then again, being crazy in a made up world of crazy almost made him sound sane. He may have to talk to the authors about- oops. He forgot about the fourth wall again.

"Come on guys. You don't want to watch Sensei drown, do you?" Sakura paled while Naruto growled.

"Then why aren't you going to help?" The blonde asked, angry at him for acting like he didn't care.

"Because I need to go take care of another person. I did tell you about a guy named Haku before we left. Can't you guys remember anything?" he asked, incredulous. They really shouldn't have survived that first fight. He marked it down as another showing of Naruto's unbelievable luck.
"But how are we going to beat him?" Sakura asked, gesturing towards the imposing figure of Zabuza Momochi.

"The same way we beat Kakashi!" Sasuke answered, holding up the flowers he had bought earlier from Ino. The pedals had wilted a little bit, but they were still usable. He quickly got out his dandelion chain he had been making on the journey, and securely placed it on his head.

Go time.

Sasuke sat on a branch behind Haku and watched him watching the battle. He had Derick with him, sitting in his lap, since he was worried about his little bunny getting lonely. He saw Haku lean forward to get a closer look at something, and did the same. Below them, Sakura threw the windmill shuriken, which he new had a bag of glitter glue and coconut shavings attached to hit. He had hidden a lot of traps on the weapons he had given them. Watching the effect of his masterpiece made his heart swell with joy, and he considered going and finding Deidara, just to show him the way of true art.

Zabuza looked down at the pink glitter, coconut shavings, and fire ants that had been sprayed all over him. At first, he didn't do anything. Then his mind caught up to what had happened, and he looked over at Sakura, who looked just as surprised as he did. Naruto wasn't there of course, because he had henged into the second shuriken and was at that moment walking toward Zabuza on the water, having learned the technique from Sasuke a week earlier.

"Hey Haku, can I have Derick?" he asked, causing the boy to spin around so quickly that he lost his footing and fell to the ground. He landed on his feet like a cat, and Sasuke noticed that the mask he wore was in the shape of a cat's face.

"I was wondering where you had gone." Haku said, quickly regaining his composure.

"Me too, I zoned out there for a little while, and I thought I had almost come back to life. Then I realized I had just been staring too long at the sun." Haku once again took a couple seconds to recompose himself.

"May I ask why you are here, instead of aiding your friends in this battle? And may I also ask how you know my name?" Sasuke had forgotten how girlish the boy's voice sounded, and he laughed a little.

"You may." He said, still giggling a little. Haku stared at him for a couple seconds, then tilted his head at him.

"Are you not going to explain?" the missing nin asked.

"Are you not going to ask?" Sasuke replied cheekily. "You only asked if you could ask. You didn't really ask what you wanted to ask me. So, you need to ask me what you want to ask, instead of asking if you can ask what you want to ask."

"Very well then." Haku replied hesitantly. "How did you come to know my name, and why are you not aiding your friends in the battle they are fighting, when it could be life or death? Are they not precious to you?"
"Well of course they are! I've known them for almost 12 years now! Of course, I've tried to kill both of them at one point, but that's also beside the point. As for the battle, I'm helping them win right now, by distracting, and possibly later fighting, you. As Zabuza's apprentice, you are just as much, if not more of, a threat than Mr. Squinty Eyes." Sasuke couldn't see Haku's face because of the mask, but he had the feeling the guy was getting a bit overwhelmed. He couldn't really blame him, not everyone was as smart and awesome as Sasuke Uchiha.

"You never answered my other question. How do you know my name?" Sasuke smirked. That was the easiest one to answer, but the hardest one for them all to believe.

"I can see the future. I have seen our battle on the Great Naruto Uzumaki Bridge. I have seen you gathering herbs for Zabuza after you rescue him from this fight. I have seen your Ice Mirror technique, and the danger it entails. I have seen betrayal from your employer, and your potential death at my team's hand." Haku didn't answer, and Sasuke was getting really bored with the conversation. Haku was hardly saying anything, which wasn't interesting at all. He had one last thing he needed to ask again, just to make sure everything was alright.

"Can I please keep Derick?"

The battle went along quite nicely after Kakashi was let out of his "prison cell". His sharingan made sure that he knew when, where, and how Zabuza was going to hit. Sasuke saw Naruto get swept back to land by the rush of water that came his way during one of the two battlers attacks.

Sasuke sat with Derick off to the side, patting his new pet absentmindedly. Haku had gone off to make sure that he could rescue Zabuza when the time came. Haku had been boring, and Sasuke didn't want to hang out with him any longer than he had to, even if it would be better for him in the long run if he were to stop the Swordsman's apprentice.

He walked over to his team just in time to see Zabuza fall to the ground, a single senbon piercing his neck. Naruto and Sakura stood, looking at the "corpse" with their mouths agape. Kakashi actually looked relieved, probably happy that he didn't have to deal the final blow. It wasn't that Kakashi wouldn't kill people, it was more of a moral thing, where he just preferred to not take someone's life. Sasuke himself had no such inhibitions. He was dead, and his afterlife was turning out to be one awesome party.

Kakashi gave Naruto his speech about how Haku was strong, he could be younger than Naruto, yadda yadda yadda. Haku left, and Kakashi passed out. All five of them, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Tazuna, and Derick ran over to make sure that the man was ok. Sakura diagnosed him with chakra exhaustion, even though he already knew it.

Once they were sure Kakashi wasn't in any actual danger, they tried to take off his mask.

"Do you guys really want to take advantage of him when he's like this?" Sasuke asked them. "He's only passed out because he gave his all protecting you two." They both shook their head and reluctantly moved away from his mask.

To be honest, Sasuke didn't care about Kakashi's pride at all. He just wanted to make sure that he was the only one who knew what was behind the mask. It was like Batman. Once you knew, you wanted to keep it for your own personal blackmail use forever. How he knew about a guy named Batman, he was still unsure.

They continued on their journey to the bridgebuilder's house, Naruto and Sakura carrying Kakashi, while Sasuke carried Derick, a confused and worried Tazuna following close behind. Sasuke checked to make sure that his dandelions were still in his pocket, his fake snake was still in Sakura's bag, and Kakashi had a bunch of catnip sprinkled in his hair. He seemed to recall there being quite a few homeless cats in Wave.

Watching them, or more specifically watching Sasuke, walk away, a man in a black and red cloak sighed.

Seriously Sasuke? I knew you were a weird kid growing up, but this is just a bit much. And what kind of a name is Derick?