*** Slowly updating because I feel a sense of obligation to finish this. I'm so lost in my other fandoms now but it feels like I have to complete this ^^***

She sat in her bed, unable to control her thoughts. They meandered loftily above her body, seemingly lifting her with them. She had never dreamed that anyone would come to want her. Years of being told she was other, she was dirty, that her blood was tainted by either side, had only given her hope of a quiet life alone, but not this. How could she abandon such an opportunity?

As this thought sped into her clouded mind, her flight suddenly crashed down upon the wool sheets. Was that all this was? An opportunity? Not two months ago she had been smitten with Kili, motivated to recovery by the chance to see him again, but now… was it the rejection of her heart that let her accept Thorin so readily? Like a wild strawberry, a small taste left her desiring another? Slyly searching and then entirely open to the next find? She searched herself then. Running her mind through the past few weeks. Reactions and personalities had seemingly changed like coal under pressure. The hunger, endless damp, days, and nights. Imprisonment shifted parts of them around, everyone slightly more desperate, slightly more wary of each other. Even the touch of a hand to a shoulder had seemed foreign and bizarre to her. Still, she thought she could detect a change in Thorin before he had left Galadriel's Eastly home. She herself felt mostly unchanged, but instead, renewed.

He had been more forgiving, willing to accept her as she had been. She did not doubt his intent, but she had reason to doubt her own. Could the lengths he had gone with Queen Galadriel affected her? She knew that while she reveled in their brief moment the night before, it warranted more thought. So she flung the bed sheets aside and readied herself, for the sun had begun to touch the waters of the lake.

The dwarves and Bilbo were gathering by a dock. There was a boat, a fisherman's boat, borrowed by the Master for their quest. Bilbo could hear the spaces between dwarf bodies and ill-fitting armour as they packed the boat. Stocked with goods, food, and weapons, the thirteen sets of hands had made light work of it. Asta seemed focused, if not a little red faced and all around, the company blocked view of her from the crowd. Every member was stone faced and serious, but the heavy morning air around them was parted through easily enough. They would not be stopped here. Not when they were so close. To him his heart was beating slowly in his chest, almost to a stop. Whatever lay within the mountain, there was no turning back.

Thorin came out, monitoring and helping along the line of supplies as it made its way to the boat. He looked out at the company; so sure of their cause, his cause. Soon his throne room would be full of the shouts of his people, the Arkenstone gleaming above his crown. He could not fail. Which is why seeing Kili brought him no joy this morning.

"Not you." He said to Kili and all emotion, and physical pain fell away and was replaced by disbelief on his face.

"But…Uncle…"

Asta watched on as Thorin exempt his nephew from their journey. Asta too noticed Kili's pallor had transformed from yellow to that of weak tea. His eyes were dark around and the slightest movement pained him. Looking at him, even from afar, she realized she would not see Erebor this day. She was no elf, but she had knowledge of medicine that could help.

Fili rebuked Thorin, and chose to stay with his brother. Too Oin left the boat announcing that his "duty lies with the wounded."

Asta turned to Ori who breathed out in a relieved sort of way. 'Ori is fast. Dori knows the city. Nori is resourceful.' She said it over in her head a few more times to convince her before pushing her forehead to Ori's. His hand gripped the back of her head and their noses touched.

"Be safe" she whispered to him, eyes closed.

Ori knew she needed no such reminders, so he nodded and silently let her go.

She clapped her hand on Dori's shoulder blade as he positioned a sack into the boat's portside.

"Where are you going?" He said louder than he intended, but she moved her way through to Nori, who looked confused but nodded before helping her to the wooden dock.

Dori's cry had roused the attention of Thorin.

"Not you." He said sternly and without kindness.

"My King," she held the words tenderly between them, "I will protect your line, should those who would see it undone return." this she uttered in unheard tones as the crowd was seemingly split into camps: for and against this journey. To hear of pursuers would eradicate those in the company's favour.

His face softened and he rubbed his temples with his finger and this thumb. "I wanted to share it with you."

"We all did."

Reluctantly he breathed out. He noticed her frame begin to shake slightly, but her eyes unwavered from his face. The crowd was staring, surely acknowledging her lack of beard, her short stature and elven clothes.

He had to do what he could now, "Then I leave my kin with you. With this time, I hope you can give my proposition more thought."

The dwarves stopped moving as Thorin grabbed her hand in his. It was warm, despite the chill of the humidity. As he had done the night before, he rubbed the top of her hand with a rough thumb. She couldn't hear anything except the sound of her own heartbeat. As he raised her hand to his lips, her eyes widened, but all she could see was him. The human crowd stared from a distance at this declaration, and she became horrifically aware that if there was a dragon in that mountain, these would be their last moments. So she lived the feeling between them. The seconds they had she remanded to her memory. The weight of his hands, the smell of him, the bristles and beard on his cheeks. She wanted to take him into her arms. She wanted to beg him not to go to the mountain, not to rouse what lay there, be it dragon or sickness. She wanted to cry into his neck, but she didn't. Instead she gripped the hand he was lifting and whispered to him, "My brothers…please…"

He squeezed back as he said, "Of course" and he kissed the inside of her palm, causing heat to rise into her face. "I wish there was more I could do for you here."

"I'll be alright." She smiled, softly with her brows raised and met in the center of her forehead; unsure at all if she would be.

"I know", then without releasing her hand, he stepped into the boat. The others clambered in and he squeezed her hand one last time before the boat pushed off and their hands fell from one another. He moved his eyes to the mountain, peeking from the mists.

Soon, they were out of sight and Asta turned to those who had been left behind, all of them looking about trying to not seem curious, except for Kili, whose face was contorted in a bout of pain. She looked one last time over the lake. It was time to ignore all that had been, and what had not yet come to pass.