Callie POV
Mom stood still in the middle of room, her eyes were full of concern "What is this about Callie?"
"Please, just promise m-" I repeated desperately
Mom cut me off, before I could finish my sentence "I promise, Callie!" She came back to the bed and sat down on the side of it. Mom reached for my hand and placed it between both of her hands "Please, tell me what's wrong."
"Please don't make it a big deal," I say quietly when I pull my hand out of her hold. This was my last effort in trying to talk mom into leaving my past in the past. One last try. If she won't, I will tell her the truth.
Mom was surely taken aback by my statement and by my action. Her face was all frowned up, I saw a little bit of hurt in her eyes, because I pulled my hand away from her. The worry never left her eyes.
"I heard you talk to David over the phone. About the false medical history" I elaborate a little, so she would know what I was referring to
"Callie-" She started, but I cut her off
"No, mom, please...don't make it a big deal out of it. No one was hurt or injured. It was just some false info about chickenpox. It is no big deal!" I said desperately trying to get her off the case
"It is big deal, honey!" She scooted a bit closer to me and argued back "Someone falsified your medical records. It is not something I will take lightly. Who knows, what else have they falsified, kept under the rug, hid from us. What if they had hid the fact that you were, for example, allergic to some medication and the doctors would have prescribed it you. It could have caused some serious side effects!"
At this point I knew, there was no way out of it. She has set her mind on finding out the truth. I have to tell her. My eyes travel down to my lap, avoiding her look. There was no way I could tell her, when she was looking at me with those warm and soft eyes.
"Callie, do you know something?" mom asked the moment I glanced away from her. She read me like an open book.
I could feel her eyes on me. Mom was observing my every move. Watching me closely. Momentary I glance up to her. The look in her eyes hasn't changed. It was too much for me to handle right now, so I look down remorsefully the next second.
"Callie, please look at me," She coo softly when she places hand on the side of my neck "You can tell me!"
"It wasn't David's fault. He didn't know," I finally get the courage to admit to her while still looking down to my lap, because I didn't want to see her disappointed look "It was...my fault"
Flashback
2008. around mid September - time between house #2 and #3. Yearly physical exam
I was sitting on the exam table, wearing one of those one time paper gowns. My legs were hanging over the side of the table. I was moving them slightly. The back of my heel touched the table side whenever I swung my legs harder.
In front of me, on the wall that I was staring into, was a poster of anatomy of human body. It showed all of the blood vessels, all of the bones. I tilted my head to the other side while still keeping my gaze on to the ribs of the human skeleton.
In the end, all humans are alike. We are all made of bones. 206 of them. Every one of us has blood flowing in our veins. We all breath in oxygen. We all have muscles, fat, tendon, cells... Underneath we are all the same. What differs is the skin color, eye color, personality, voice...
10 minutes ago, after an x-ray, he had told me that I have fractured my 5th, 6th rib on my left side and the 8th on my right side some month back. 4 weeks, 5 days, 18 hours ago to be exact. But who is counting. When the doctor had asked me if it hurt, I shook my head. And it was true. It doesn't hurt now. It hurt before. Now it is just sore. And I can take sore. I have had worse than sore.
Falling down the stairs can do that to you. There are lot of sharp edges where you can hit and hurt your body. And you keep rolling down the stairs till you reach the end and hit the floor. When you are falling, tumbling down the stairs, they seem way longer than when you are normally walking up and down them.
I have become very clumsy. When mom was alive, I had never accidentally run in the doors, slipped on the wet floor or tripped and fell down the stairs ever before. Foster care makes all the kids very clumsy. It is a trait every kid gains when he or she enters foster care. It amazes me how it goes unnoticed by all of the adults that are around us. No one seems to notice. Or maybe they do notice, but simply don't care enough to act on it. No one but me has counted how many times I have run in the doors by accident.
Mom would have noticed. Mom always used to notice whenever something was wrong with me. Or Jude. She saw everything. Even the small things.
Tears formed in my eyes, when I started to think about mom. Stop it – I tell myself and run my left hand over my eyes quickly – mom is dead, she won't help you, you are not a baby!
206 bones and I have broken or fractured more bones in the last 1 year or so than I have in my first 10 years of life. I wonder how many more bones I will break? How many more visits to the hospital will I have? How much longer till someone notices me? How long do I have to wait till someone will care about me again? How long will I be alone in this world? Will someone ever love me again?
What if the foster parents aren't the bad guy's? What if it is me? What if David was right - what if am the problem? Maybe I am the one that causes all of the problems. Maybe I am simply...unlovable.
I take a deep sight and look up to the doctor. His mouth is moving. He was asking me something. I shake the thoughts out of my head and concentrate on what he is saying. I only hear the end of the question "-have you had it?"
Had what? What is he talking about? – I ask myself as I look to him. He keeps looking down to me, waiting for an answer.
Should I ask to repeat the question? Last time I was in hospital and I did that, the nurse yelled at me. Telling me that I wasn't listening and that I was wasting her time. She was really mean and grumpy looking nurse. Around middle age. Maybe she was annoyed with me, because it was the middle of the night and she wanted to sleep. Why didn't I listen to him more carefully...
I make a quick decision and nod my head, looking at the doctor.
"Did you have any temperature or any other side effects? Or was it just the rash and itching?"
"Um...just the rash and itching" I tell him, even though I have no idea what he was referring to
"When was this? Weeks, months ago?"
"Erm.." I swallow a lump in my throat "like few months back, before my birthday" I tell him with a straight face. I have become a better liar as well. That is another trait I have picked up while in foster care. The lies come much more easier to me. Sometimes, they don't feel like lies anymore.
"Age 10...got it." He mumbled to himself and wrote in my chart something
"And that's it" He says putting a big, fat dot in my chart " Do you have any questions to me?" He closes my chart and holds it in front of him after he places the pen in his white coat pocket
"About what?" I ask back warily
"Anything, your health for one. Maybe you have some concerns?"
"Nop" I shook my head
"Okay, then we are done, Callie," He smiles at me "You can get dressed and come out when you are ready. I will go have a word with your social worker!" The doctor informs me
"Okay," I mumble to myself and watch him walk out of the exam room. I jump down the table and walk to the chair that had my clothes on.
End of flashback
Mom takes a deep breath and tilts her head sideways, to have a better look to my eyes "Oh, honey" Very gently she reaches up to my hair and runs her fingers around my ear, tucking some lose stray of hair behind my ear and then takes my hand in hers. Her lips were forming a sad, small smile.
I try to explain my actions as fast as I could "I wasn't really listening a-and..." I stop and take in a shaky breath "Back then, I had no idea what he had asked me. I didn't realize. But now I do...I have the rash and itching he was referring to. I heard you make call to David...and I connected the dots. It's my fault, mom! David didn't do anything! It's my fault!" I say with tears in my eyes
"It's okay!" mom say fondly looking to my eyes "It's all right, honey!"
"...I'm sorry, mom!" I blurred out as the tears fell
With her thumb, mom wipes away the tears that fall down my cheek "Don't cry honey. Why are you crying?"
"Because you are probably mad and disappointed in me," I say through sniffing
"Callie, I am neither mad nor disappointed in you!" Mom said running her thumb softly over my cheek "Why do you think I am disappointed in you?"
"I screwed up. Again! I lied to the doctor! You don't want me to lie, not to you, not to anyone. Because of me, there is false information in my medical file. I screw up so often!"
I might have been more emotional than normally, because I was feeling so damn sick and I was exhausted. The guilt that I felt, was enormous. Yet again, I have worried mom, caused problems for her. And the fear that I am a disappointment to mom, was still lingering in my mind. My emotions got the best of me. I was overwhelmed.
"Callie, that was years ago. You were what – 11, just a kid. David had taken you out of yet another home, another abusive home. You were all alone, scared and you had no idea where you will be placed next. And you didn't lie to me, sweetie. You told me, the moment you could, right?"
I nod back slowly as two more tears fall down my cheeks. Mom wipes them away with her thumbs.
"So you are not mad?" I ask warily, my lower lips whimpers a little "Or disappointed in me?"
"No, of course not!" Mom replied instantly caressing my cheek "Besides, the way you said – please don't be mad at me – I had figured it would be something much, much worse. I prepared myself for something much worse" Mom said with a small chuckle "This wasn't even close to what I pictured in my mind when you said that."
"What did you think I was going to tell you?" I ask lifting my hand up to my nose to wipe it
"That's not important honey," Mom said reaching for the napkins on the nightstand "What is important, is that you told me. And that is all that matters -that you came to me and told me the truth. That I didn't have to find out from someone else." She handed me the napkin "While we are on the subject, is there maybe anything else that you want to tell me..."
I took the napkin from her hand and blew my nose. Mom took the crumbled up napkin back once I was done "I don't think there is"
"You are not allergic to anything" I shook my head, but mom elaborated "Not to any citrus fruit, hazel nuts, honey..."
"I think I have eaten all of what you just named in front of you"
"Any medication - penicillin...what else, insulin?" I shake my head few times back
"Okay, good to know," Mom pats my hand gently and stands up "Then get back under the blanket and rest!"
I scoot back down to the bed and lay down. Mom pulls the blanket up to my chin and leans down to kiss the top of my head "Thank you for coming to me and telling me the truth. I love you!"
"Love you too, mom" I reply quietly when she kisses my head one more time
"I will be back with the soup in few minutes" Mom says walking out of the bedroom
Lena POV
October 25th
"Did Jude seem off to you?" I ask Stef as I put lotion on my legs
"You mean after the Go-kart thing to which he went with Connor?" Stef asked back walking out of the bathroom with toothbrush in her hands, and some toothpaste in her mouth
"So you noticed," I smile to my wife
"Of course I noticed," Stef replied and headed back to the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth "I was the one who drove him back and forth, remember! I saw how those two were sharing looking in the backseat of my car!"
"I just hope he comes to us when he is ready" I say mostly to myself, right before Stef calls the same thing back to me from bathroom
I pull my PJ pants on and get in the bed, under the warm blanket. When I reach for the book, there is a knock on our bedroom doors. I knew that knock, that knock belong to Jude.
"Come in Jude!" I call out and place the book in my lap
The doors were slowly pushed open and Jude shyly peaked his head in "How did you know it was me?"
I smile to the little boy "You have a very specific knock!"
"Oh, I didn't know that," He breathed out and came deeper inside the room. Jude stopped in the middle of the room. I could tell by the look of his face, his eyes, that he wanted to tell us something. Something important. He looked anxious and nervous.
"Hop in, " I pat on the middle of the bed and place the book back on the nightstand
Jude crawled on the bed and situated next to me. He asked when he leaned back to the headrest "Where's mom?"
"In here!" Stef called from the bathroom, hearing Jude ask about her. The light turned off the next second and Stef came out. She jumped over my legs to the bed and then crawled her way over to her side, to sit down next to Jude.
Once we were all sat down, Jude started to pick his fingernails nervously "I wanted to tell you something"
"We are listening," I reply looking at the young boy
"Something happened..." He said shyly and looked up to me nervously "At the go-kart" He took a small pause and continued "With me and Connor..."
I share a quick look with Stef. We both knew where this was going, we both knew what he was going to say. We share a small smile and then we both look back to the boy, who was sitting between us.
Jude turned his palms up, his fingers were a little bent. He was now looking at his blue nails. It was like he was gathering up courage. We knew, we can't push him. He will tell us, when he is ready.
"We kissed" He admitted and then looked up to us, to see our reaction. I reached for his left hand and took it in mine, giving him a little squeeze, while Stef put her hand on the back of his neck and smiled at the boy.
"We are together," He said more proudly, with a lot more certainty and with a smile on his lips "Connor is my boyfriend!"
AN: I will do the Jude story line first and then I will start Callie dating. I realized that I can do the transition from Callie's chickenpox story more easily to Jude's coming out story line, than Callie jumping into dating. This way, I don't have to do a time jump, till Callie is healthy again. I can kind of blend these two mini-stories together.
Oh, and I know, some of you probably excepted the Callie and her falsified medical records storyline to be something huge and dramatic, but I don't think, that everything in her past, has to be overly dramatic and connected with some sort of abuse. She was just a kid, who was too much in her thoughts and didn't really listen to what some doctor was asking her. Kids sometimes tend to do that. I still sometimes lock out (or zone out while people are talking to me) what people are saying to me, because I am deep in my thoughts and then just get out by saying - yes, aha, I agree or something like that.