AN: Sorry about the wait. I had to rewrite the chapter few times.
At first, I wanted to write this chapter all from Jude POV, but I realized I can't do it. I am straight and I have never had to come out to anyone. I don't know how hard it is, I don't know what it is like, what goes through the persons head, what they are thinking...I simply don't know the struggle and I don't know what it is like.
Probably some of you do know the struggle, probably some of you have come out to friends and family. Knowing that, I just didn't want to portray Jude the wrong way. I tried to write this chapter the best way I could and I hope that I haven't messed this up completely.
Stef POV
Jude sat nervously by the kitchen table, look at his four siblings, waiting for their reactions. He looked nervous and a little bit scared as well, his body looked all tensed up and stiff.
"Cool!" Jesus said first, smiling back to Jude. I almost face palmed. Was that all Jesus could say to his brother when he comes out to him? Where's the love? Where's the support?
"Doesn't change how much we love you. Thank you for telling us, Jude!" Brandon did a lot better. He showed support and reassured Jude that he is still loved.
Mariana squeaked out and jumped up from the stool. She run around the table and squeezed Jude tightly "Ah, Judicorn! I'm so happy for you!" Jude looked taken aback by Mariana's reaction at first, but Mariana continued to squeeze him tightly in hug until Jude returned the hug and a huge smile appeared on his face. All the worry disappeared from his face at that moment.
Lena and Frankie were sitting at the other end of the tale. Frankie was sitting in her mama's lap. Lena took Frankie's hand the moment she started to scratch her neck again.
Mariana finally let go of Jude and kisses his cheek "I love you Judicorn!" Jude beamed back at Mariana, while she walked back to the spot she sat before.
"Frankie, do you have any questions?" I ask, knowing she might have some questions regarding this subject. I lean forward and press my elbows to the table.
"About what?" Frankie looked confused about my question
"About what Jude just shared with you..." I said and smile up to my youngest boy before looking back to Frankie. Frankie shook her head back vigorously.
"Not a single question?" Lena asked stroking her hair gently and then tucking some of the stray hair behind her ear
"Nop! Love is love!" Frankie turned a little in Lena's lap to look up to her mom "Right mama?"
Lena kissed her forehead "That's absolutely right, love!" I guess the talks we have had with her about our relationship, about her two mommies helped a lot. There was a moment where Frankie was really confused, because every other kid in her day care class had said they had a mommy and daddy, but she had two mommies. That caused a lot of questions for her. The three of us had to sit down and have a serious talk.
I lean back, place my hands in my lap and looking around the room to my kids.
"I have a question!" Jesus said taking me a little by surprise
"Go on," Lena encourages him
"Actually it is not a question, but more like a suggestion," Lena and I share a look over the table "The rule - no hanging out with girls behind closed doors - you should alter it so it would apply to Jude as well! So it would be fair! I don't want to walk in on those two doing it in our bedroom!" I look up to Jude, who blushed. I doubt Jude has even though about having sex at this age, but Jesus was right, the rule needed to be altered a little. The rules should be the same for all of the kids, doesn't matter if they like boys or girls.
"Yes it's...it will be altered for Jude" I confirmed it after Lena and I share another look
"Any more questions?" Lena asked looking around the room to the kids. No one spoke up so it would seem this little family meeting was over. The kids, except for Jude, all scattered away.
"I'm gonna head over to Callie's," Jude told us after he finished drinking his glass of lemonade
"I can take you!" I offered right away
"No," Jude declined "I think I need the walk and figure out how to tell her."
"Jude, honey" Lena said gently, reached for his hand and rubbed her thumb softly over the top of Jude's palm "It won't be any different than telling the twins, Frankie and Brandon...or us for that matter. Callie loves you. And we know Callie loves you unconditionally!"
"Mama is right. You don't have to be scared about telling her. Callie has never had a single problem with mama and I," I added hoping it would calm Jude down a little. Lena and I both knew how nerve wrecking coming out can be. You worry about the persons reaction before telling, but once you have told the person - you worry how they will treat you after.
"I am not scared," Jude reasoned back. When he looked down to the table he continued in a hushed voice "I just...I don't want to disappoint her!"
I got up from my seat and walked over to Jude "You are not going to disappoint her, Jude. There is no reason for her to be disappointed in you!" I said wrapping my hands around him and pressing my lips to his temple "You need to have a little bit of faith in your sister!"
Lena got up from her seat and walked up to Jude's other side to wrap her hands around him. Now Jude was squeezed in a the middle. He was in the mama sandwich. He giggled out when Lena and I both started to place kisses on both sides of his face.
"We love you, we love you, we love you" Lena said between kissing his cheeks many times
After I gave Frankie an oatmeal bath and got her dressed, she run down to see her favorite cartoon. She didn't want to spend another minute with her old mom, when there are cartoons. They are after all way better than her old mom. I walk to our bedroom, where Lena was now folding some clothes.
"Where's Frankie?" she asked when she saw me enter alone
"Her favorite cartoon is on. She didn't want to miss it!" I said walking over to the end of the bed and slump down. I just now noticed that my sleeves were a bit wet, because Frankie was splashing with water while in the bath.
"Don't be sad, babe" Lena says with a smile "She would rather watch her cartoons then spend some time with me as well!"
"At least I am not alone in this!" I said with a smirk and laid down to the bed and stare up to the ceiling
"She is growing up fast," Lena replies taking out another shirt from the laundry basket "Too fast!"
"That you are right about, love!" I agree and change the subject "I'm so glad Jude has a safe home where he could be who he is. That he doesn't have to hide or pretend" I said thinking back to when I was a kid and my dad forced me to talk to the minister about my sexuality.
"He is so brave," Lena added quietly "I am so proud of him for coming out!"
"I don't think I could do it again – coming out I mean" I was thinking out loud "The way my dad was looking at me...I felt like I disappointed him, like I wasn't a good enough daughter for him!"
"Your dad was a man of religion. No matter how hard you wanted to, you could never change his beliefs. You could never change who he was, Stef" Lena replied in a soft tone of voice
"Yet he tried to change who I was!" I said back sadly, Lena sighed knowing how hard it impacted my life "At least my mom was sportive," I change the subject to a happier note
"I'm glad that you at least had your mom. I was luckily enough that both my parents were okay with it. I am pretty sure they both knew I was gay even before I told them, maybe even before I knew it myself" Lena said thoughtfully
"You know Connor's parents..." I said turning my head to the left so I could see Lena "Do you think they are sportive of him being gay?"
"Well..." Lena put another folded shirt down and reached for the next one "I know his dad has some homophobic tendencies. I am not sure about his mom. I have only met her when she enrolled Connor in the school."
"Let's just hope at least one of his parents is supportive of him" I said hopeful, gazing back to the ceiling
Callie POV
I wrapped the big blanket around me and stumbled out of the bedroom. Mom was in the shower, so she didn't hear the doorbell, but I did. So I had no choice, but to get up from the bed and walk down the stairs. I wrapped the big blanket around me, because there was no way I will get out of this warm cocoon.
When I was on the stairs, the person behind the doors, ringed the bell one more time.
"I'm coming!" I called out and started to cough
"It's me!" Came a little voice from the outside
"Doors are open!" I stop in the hallway and no longer intend to make my way to the doors. If it was Jude, he can open the doors himself. I will save some energy by not walking all the way up to the doors. I wrap the blanket more tighter around me, when Jude opened and let in some colder air.
"Hey Callie!" He smiles when he enters. I can see some worry on his face. He is trying hard to mask it with the smile, but I can tell there is something bothering him "Why are you up? Shouldn't you be in bed resting?"
"Mom's in shower," I reply turning to the living room. I don't think I will have the strength and energy to walk up the stairs. The couch will be good enough place for a rest. I fall down in the couch and pull my legs up to my chest, to keep as warm as possible. Jude sits down on the other side of the couch, legs crossed under him, he was turned to face me.
"How was the Go-kart?" I ask him curiously. It looks like I surprised him with that question "You did go, right?" I ask worried that I had spent all that money for nothing
"Oh...yeah, yeah, I went!" He replies quickly once he snaps out of his thoughts
"How was it?"
"Good, good..." He said indifferent, looking down to his hand. That wasn't much of an answer. In fact, Jude has never been so shy with his answers. Something was seriously bothering him.
"Who did you go with?" I ask him and watch him carefully. Maybe I can figure out what was he so worried about.
"Um...a friend," he said at first and then added "With Connor"
"Everything okay?" I ask worried because he was barely looked at me this past minute or so. Jude nods his head back stiffly few times, but still doesn't look at me.
"Jude," I say hoping he would look up to me "You are scaring me. What's wrong?" He starts to pick his nails nervously, but I still haven't seen his brown eyes. He was still shielding away from me.
"Jude, please..." I pleaded desperately, but that did not change anything. So, I moved a little closer towards him on the couch. I was now sitting on my knees, right in front of him, the blanket around my shoulders. I moved my hand out from the blanket cocoon.
When my hand touched both of his hands, he finally looked up to me "I need to tell you something," He told me warily and in a hushed voice, almost like he was scared
"Okay, I'm listening," I said and held my breath waiting for him to talk to me. My heart started to beat a little faster, while I waited for him to speak up. Safe to say, I was concerned. I had no idea what he wanted to tell me. Please don't be sick, please don't be sick.
We held the eye contact for few more seconds till he finally spoke up "I'm gay!" I let out the breath I was holding and my shoulders relaxed
"Connor is my boyfriend!" He told me with certainly in his voice. A little smiles creeps on my face. I had assumed that some while ago. I had only spoken about it with Jesus, when we were in the holding cell. We hadn't brought it up after that. I knew better than to push him. I trust him enough to know that he will come to me, when he is ready. And I guess, that time is now.
"Thank you for telling me!" I said looking straight to his eyes. My eyes traveled down to our hands for a moment. I gave his palm a little squeeze, just to show him that I am 100% supportive of him "This does not change how much I love you!"
When my eyes moved up to his face once again, I saw that he had some tears in his eyes "You are my baby brother and I will love you forever and always. Nothing will change that! Nothing!"
I had to detain a little pause so I could find the right words to say "Don't ever let someone else convince you otherwise! Just know that I am 100% behind you!"
I let go of his hand and placed my hand on the side of his neck, like Amy does to me. My thumb moves softly and gently over his cheek, while I gazed to his beautiful brown eyes, that were now filled with tears.
"Mom would be so proud and happy for you..." A single tear rolled down his cheek as he closed his eyes. I lean forward and place a kiss to his forehead, before pulling him into my embrace.