Note: Soundwave appears, but here, he can talk normally. Otherwise he's still the telepath, tape deck, etc, just the speech patterns are normal.
Brothers
When Megatron left, Optronix stayed at the table, pondering on what they talked about. The warlord seemed honest enough, despite of his avoidance of some topics. Of course he would be honest, the young mech told himself – Kaonites were famous for many bad things but they were said to be honest to the point of rudeness almost. When he thought back, he couldn't remember Megatron actually lying to him – he mostly didn't answer. So now that he actually promised to behave nicely and not harm him any more, he must be meaning it. Why, he still didn't know, but Megatron didn't lie about that either, only said that they'd discuss it later.
When he thought about it, Optronix could think of one reason – the warlord must have wanted an heir and seeing his declining health and mental state he must have come to a conclusion that it was next to impossible to spark under the circumstances. What made him realize it… that might have been the medic, Hook, who Optronix believed was somewhat sympathetic to his fate even earlier. Yes, this was something he found believable and also something Megatron wouldn't want to discuss with him before he got better. Which was good, because the thought of interfacing with him still awakened a deep, trembling dread in him.
Finding the reason he could live with, Optronix checked the new screen that he got; as he hoped it included not only an entertainment center but also communication line to the Cybernet. Moreover, he had a two way access, which meant that he could even talk to his family… with only slightly shaking servos and blinking the beginning of tears from his optics, he called up a comms program and searched for almost forgotten usernames. He found Jazz first and shaking with excitement and anxiousness, he placed the call.
The screen blossomed with the sigil of the Iaconian Ruling House, the system asking back in a text message for the caller's identity. Of course, Optronix thought, they couldn't know who he was yet from the unfamiliar calling ID. Typing in his name and title; Optronix Prime, Consort of Megatron, Warlord of Kaon, he waited a few kliks more, chewing anxiously on his lipplates, before the sigil abruptly disappeared and Jazz's incredulous faceplate filled the screen.
"OPTRONIX!"
Optronix laughed, truly laughed in happiness for the first time in vorns to see his brother's face again.
"Yes, Jazz, it's me! So good to see you again. I missed you so much…!"
"What happened ta you? You're like disappeared from the face of Cybertron after the bonding, we got absolutely no news of you!"
"Long story… and not all of it is nice." – Optronix didn't want to tell all the gruesome details, but he owed a little explanation for Jazz – "Megatron kept me locked up tighter than a prisoner."
"Why? What did the fragger…"
"Kaonite customs… he said that his nobles would challenge me and so it was for my protection. It took him this long to realize that I was bored out of my processor here."
Jazz took a good long look at him and - instinctly and logically - he knew just how far it was from being the full truth. But he was also a royal and Ultra Magnus's creation and knew that not all things can be said on an open comm line. Optronix looked all right, if a bit tired and insecure and those were alarming in itself. Besides, no challenge or custom could explain the communications being cut completely for so long.
"Are you… all right, Opty? – he asked in a worried voice, the starting happiness vying in his processor with the worry that started to rise.
"I…" – Optronix hesitated for a very telling klik – "I'll be now."
For such a short sentence it told a lot to Jazz, just as Optronix intended. He wouldn't lie, but he couldn't tell the complete truth either. He wasn't so naïve to think that the line he used was in any way private. No more than the chambers. It wasn't even personal, he supposed; probably all the palace connections were monitored by default.
"But don't worry about that. I can contact you now any time and we can talk. I have almost everything here and even promise for more."
"What about the… you know, your bond…?"
"It isn't what I expected… but everything just can't be perfect."
"You are not happy." – it wasn't a question any more and Jazz started to get an inkling of things unsaid which he didn't like at all.
"I… I'm hoping." – Optronix wasn't one to lie and it wasn't something he could prevaricate either. No, he most definitely wasn't happy, although he had a very small, cautious hope that he might be again… one orn. If everything turned out to be right. Which, considering his luck so far was a pretty long shot… – "Don't misunderstand me… I'm not complaining, but it is… complicated."
"Ah see. Anyway, it is good ta see you again, ta be able to talk. Ah hope it won't change ta the worse again…?"
"I hope that too. But tell me about Iacon, I miss everything there… how is everymech?"
"As well as expected… Sire is the same, the twins are the same, although they miss you too, and Sentinel is getting more like Sire every orn."
Jazz's grimace told volumes to Optronix – he knew just how Sentinel turned out. He was the only one among the brothers who actually agreed with their Sire in everything, taking after him completely. Optronix never liked Ultra Magnus's pompous heir and since he started to be interested in the state matters, he's been worried about Iacon under his eldest brother's rule. As much as Sentinel took after their Sire, he definitely lacked in strength of character even compared to his creator. It was one small factor why he agreed to the bonding – to get as far as he could from Sentinel's eventual rule. Because the blue mech expected all his younger brothers to defer to him – and their Sire never told him otherwise.
"Well, at least not much changed back at h…" – he couldn't say home, not anymore. Iacon wasn't his home and it'd never be again. – "…in Iacon. What about you? Is Sire still pressing you to bond?"
"He'll never stop Ah guess. But Ah won't bond on his say-so and he knows it. So he is huckstering Rodimus out these orns."
"What? Rodimus is not even of age!"
"That's never stopped him. Besides he'll be of age in a few vorns, so he is eligible to be betrothed if necessary."
"True enough… what is he planning with him?"
"Nothing definite yet. The kingdoms are pretty peaceful these orns and not much is going on since your… mate took over Tarn." – the scowl in Jazz's face was clearly visible when he said 'mate'. The more he listened to Optronix the more he wanted to grab Megatron and teach him manners, however impossible that was, what with the difference in their frame-sizes and strength. Even with Optronix not saying any details it was obvious that he wasn't happy and might have been even abused. But since his brother apparently didn't want to talk about it and implied that there was a change to the better, he kept his anger at check for his sake.
"He did? I wouldn't know… Megatron is not a talkative kind and it's been an orn only since I have access to the net."
"He did and now all his neighbors tremble in fear as ta who is next. There is even talk of an alliance against him if he attacks any more of them."
"I don't think he wants to start another war soon…"
"Why?"
"If my guess is right, he wants an heir."
"That means he hasn't got one yet." – Jazz looked at him thoughtfully. – "It is really not my place, but… what the Pit you two were doing for two vorns? No, don't answer that."
"It's a… long story."
"I bet. Look, Opty, I'd love to talk more but Sire's commed me to go ta him now. Gotta go."
"No problem, Jazz. We can talk now any time."
"Good luck Opty… something tells me you need it."
After the connection was cut, Optronix sat in front of the screen for a long while. As good as it felt to talk with Jazz, it stirred up his memories that so far he managed to keep deep inside his memory banks, safely away from his awareness. Now, it all ached on a level he didn't know was possible, almost like a real hurt, a physical injury. He'd meant to talk with some others too but right now it felt like a bad idea. He might not be able to keep his misery out of his faceplates and voice and that would be bad. The twins, if they felt him unhappy might just come over to try and teach Megatron manners. They might even take Jazz with them.
Standing up, he retreated onto the berth again, almost hiding amongst the pillows. He barely had enough resolve to pick up the datapad he choose earlier and hasn't finished yet. Reading has calmed him down somewhat and in a little while he was able to concentrate on what he was reading. Kaon was his future, Optronix knew. Memories were bittersweet at best as they were gone forever, never to come back.
-o-o-o-
"Do you think he believes me?"
"Not yet. He needs time. More time than you expect, Megatron. So far he associates you with painful things and it can't be changed in a few orns."
"I know that! I know he doesn't trust me yet! But does he believe that I mean what I promised?" – for Megatron it was important to know.
"I think he wants to. But it is not so easy either, as you think, brother." – Soundwave was serious. Megatron never understood emotions and Soundwave sometimes cursed their Sire's decision to raise him away from their carrier, to be trained the perfect warrior and ruler. The mech became an unbeatable fighter and a perfect leader for Kaon - but he managed to botch up his bond royally while he sent Soundwave away to play ambassador in Iacon. Shockwave, of course was no help to him in emotional matters, he was even worse in that area than Megatron.
"That, I know." – Megatron scowled as they watched Optronix talk with his brother. – "I guess I have to be satisfied with that."
Soundwave listed the power series of two in his processor before answering. It helped to keep his calm greatly. He wouldn't look into his brother's processor without him asking for it, but he rarely needed to use any telepathy. Megatron was like an unencrypted datapad with those he trusted in.
"Megatron, you should be glad that he responds at all. What you did so far was quite atrocious. I still can't believe that you actually forced him to interface… and injured him with it too."
Megatron actually looked sheepish for a change – an expression he would have never allowed to show had they got any company at all. But they were alone in Megatron's private rooms, Soundwave enjoying the familiar surroundings and the company of his brother; much as he despaired sometimes with Megatron's obtuseness in certain matters, he loved him as brother. Many mechs, many nobles tried to turn the brothers against each other to create a power struggle in the small kingdom, not enjoying the same illustrious history as the older city-states. Kaon was a real power only since the Cybertronium-mines brought wealth and Megatron's sire, Galvatron brought military success to the formerly poor and unimportant Kaonite mountains. But none of those mechs understood the loyalty that connected the brothers together.
"He seemed willing at first." – Megatron shrugged at last. As far as he was concerned, Optronix agreed to the bonding and the interface, so it wasn't like he was forcing him to do either. Breaking the seals hurt, especially with a size difference like they had. If the Iaconian didn't know it, then it was his problem, his lack of education. So he was quite surprised at the whack on his helm from the irate-looking Soundwave. – "Hey!"
"Brother mine, you are an aft."
Megatron growled. He wouldn't have taken it so peacefully from anymech else but Soundwave, but it was useless to be angry at him. Especially when he was right.
"Willing is not nearly enough when it is a question of a bondmate – as you have learned Megatron."
"I can't court him now. I won't!"
"You can and you will. He is not an enemy army to be conquered." – Soundwave ignored Megatron murmuring it would be easier if he was and continued. – "I don't expect you to simper and woo him and neither does Optronix, just… do you feel anything towards him?"
"I… I don't know. I suppose he is easy on the optics and not as bad as I first thought."
"That's not what I meant."
"I don't know. Maybe." – Megatron quickly hid the forming pout on his lip-plates. It was too close to showing weakness and that, he didn't allow even his brothers to see. – "I think I like his attitude."
"That's a step in the right direction… how does the bond feel?"
"Like always. Closed."
Soundwave stared at his brother completely shocked.
"You kept your bond locked down all the time?"
"Yes. It was disturbing. I can't have distractions in a battle."
Megatron stared back at his brother defiantly, sure that he had a reason for it so it was all right. Only… Soundwave looked disapproving of it and the warlord's conviction had trembled suddenly.
"Megatron, bondmates can function with an open bond all the time. It can be closed for short times, but not kept that way always!"
"Why not? It is slagging annoying to feel somemech else's feelings. Especially his…"
"Megatron, you caused those feelings that you don't want to feel. You'd deserve to feel them all."
"I'm not you, Brother! You dealt with others' thoughts and emotions all your function."
"But that is the bond for… to learn it. Not to isolate yourself from it!"
"Why?"
"Because once you learn to handle emotions, they can be helpful. A bondmate can support you, care for you, love you…"
"I don't slagging need support or care from an Iaconian!" – Megatron's exasperation came out in a roar, rarely if ever directed to Soundwave. – "I need an heir!"
"That's the other half of the problem. With a closed bond, with your attitude towards him, you can't merge sparks fully. Without a full merge, it is next to impossible to spark. This is why it took two vorns… a healthy, young mech with a full merge can spark almost at once."
Megatron stared back to him, shocked wordless and unable to even feel his earlier anger. So not only he caused the termination of the newspark, but even his interfaces were… pretty much useless? Soundwave looked at him unsympathetic, expecting him to realize the true extent of his idiocy.
"I… but… I can't open the bond."
"Why?"
"Because…" – Megatron paused. He kept it closed because he thought that he hated the Iaconian. But at their last meeting and talk, he promised to be more… open. Not that he meant the bond, but eventually, he would have to do that too. For now, he settled for a weak excuse… – "Because he'd know about the sparkling then."
Soundwave looked at him strangely.
"You truly don't know how bonds work." – he didn't even ask it, the fragger.
"Tell me then!" – it came out just shy of a shout. Fortunately Soundwave wouldn't be insulted by his tone.
"Bonds don't just have an 'open' and a 'closed' state. They can be opened in increments, slowly, to get used to each other. Also you, as the stronger, dominant mate can direct what the other sees, learns and not just let him see all your memory banks."
"That's… good to know."
"But I don't suggest throwing it open right now, after being a complete aft about it. Talk to him and tell it. Tell him what you told me now. Try to open it up together and slowly."
Megatron glowered at his brother darkly and Soundwave felt a real temptation to throw his arms into the air and storm out – throw a tantrum more like Megatron himself than his generally calm and collected self. And how much Frenzy would love to see that!
"No, brother mine it is NOT a weakness to get to know your mate and discover things together!"
"I KNOW!" – Megatron roared back, and continued on a slightly lower volume. – "But in a way, it is… isn't it?"
"No, it isn't. It can be a strength. I do not imply that you need his support, but he can still give you some. Why do you insist on leaving him out of your life? Why should he trust you if you don't intend to be honest?"
"I…" – Megatron was balking. Soundwave was right, he promised some things to Optronix which he didn't intend to keep… and it was wrong. It wasn't him to lie and deceive mechs, so why now? – "I was going to… just later."
"Megatron… you said you want to fix the mess you'd made. Go then and solve it. Don't hide behind excuses. Yes, it will be hard and you must act in a way that you unfamiliar with. But without meaning it, it will be impossible."
Megatron's answer was no more than a tired grunt but Soundwave knew that what he said has finally! gone through his thick helm. Had it not he'd be still shouting after all.
-o-o-o-
Optronix came online from his recharge to strange noises. It was like the palace was under siege with all the clanging and banging that sounded from fairly close to his rooms. He was off the berth quickly, but the window gave no indication for the source which had to be, now that he thought of it, inside the palace itself. He was reading late last orn, catching up on his favourite pastime after missing it for so long and it was quite far into the day cycle as well – since it has never been important, he hardly cared about the proper parts of the orn any more.
"Avara? What is this noise?" – he asked the servant coming in and bringing him the small cubes on a tray.
"I saw the rooms next to this one under construction, but I don't know the reason, my Lord."
"W-who is living there?" – he never worried about such things as he never heard any noise from nearby living quarters, but suddenly a strange nervousness started up in him.
"No mech, as far as I saw." – Avara shrugged a bit as he was tidying up the strewn datapads on the side table – "Maybe Lord Megatron is going to move in? But I truly don't know." – he added, seeing the tiny trembling in the young mech's frame.
Optronix nodded to him for an answer, not knowing what to think about that. Much as he wanted to grab the opportunity and make Megatron friendlier, he couldn't help but feel dread whenever he was mentioned, even casually. He hoped that in time it would get better, but so far not much has changed – all that stood between the horrible past and any kind of hope he held was the warlord's promise. He could do nothing else but trust him… but that trust was still tenuous, tentative and very fragile.
Optronix has just come out of the wash racks, refreshed and relaxed when Megatron came in. They both froze at their respective doorways, nervousness quickly replacing Optronix's relaxed mood and the warlord's determination. Avara, sensing the rising tensions, offered them both energon goodies and a tray of cubes to choose from, unobtrusively herding them towards the sitting area of the main room. He didn't expect them to sit close, but the same room was an achievement. Chattering inconsequentials while their first bout of anxiety passed, he left the room as soon as he saw Lord Megatron glowering at him.
"W-what…"
"Optronix…"
They started to speak at the same time, stopping abruptly after the first words. A ghost of a smile drew the corner of Optronix's mouthplates upwards at the awkwardness of the situation and he gestured to Megatron to continue.
"Yes. Umm. I wanted to… I mean I'd like to…" – slag, this was harder than fighting, he thought fleetingly – "… talk about our bond."
A sharp pain flared up in Optronix's spark, but he hid it.
"Y-you want to… open it…?" – he asked with only a slight trembling – "I…"
Megatron looked uncomfortable, but apologetic. Shifting where he sat, he barely glanced at the younger mech opposite to him, on a separate seat.
"I seem to have had misconceptions about a spark bond." – he looked away from the young Iaconian – "I never had the reason to learn about them, as I never wanted to bond. So…"
"You don't know how it works?" – Optronix was shocked so much it even replaced his fear. It explained much – not that it excused some things but slowly he saw that the warlord wasn't as bad as he thought, that most of his actions stemmed from simply not knowing.
"Well… My brother, Soundwave – whom you'll meet later by the way – enlightened me that it is not like I'd thought."
"In what way? We've been all – I mean my brothers and I – taught about bonding." – he lifted a brow plate and continued – "Of course we all knew that we would be bonded, to secure and help Iacon's future."
"I was taught about war, fighting and such matters. Spark bonds and bonding in general, definitely weren't in my curriculum." – Megatron answered gruffly.
"It is understandable, my Lord…" – Optronix tried to make it easier for him from simple self-interest; an angry Megatron was something he feared, so diverting his anger was a necessary tactic.
"You can call me on my designation, you know?"
"Y-yes… of course…" – Optronix tried to avoid that so far, as it sounded far too direct and familial – "M-megatron…"
"I want to open this bond between us, but… I don't want to cause you distress. Or force you something you don't want to."
"I had always hoped that it would make you… closer, more understanding of me…" – Optronix answered quietly. He wouldn't tell his sparkache at the disinterest that the cold, closed bond meant, but if he truly didn't know how it worked…
"Does it mean that you'd be, you know amenable to try it?"
"What, a merge?" – he looked alarmed, ready to bolt.
"No! Just, you know, the bond. To see what it feels like." – Megatron felt rather stupid at the moment, because he didn't know why Optronix associated to a merge.
"B-but… it's up to you… it is open at my side." – Optronix glanced bemused at him, not quite believing that he was this ignorant on how bonds worked.
Megatron frowned at that, because he didn't like to feel inscient about anything. He also didn't feel like delving into another mech's being or emotions, however small degree… but he promised it to Soundwave to try, owed it to his… bondmate and so he had to try. Grabbing another cube from the table, this time a potent Backfire to cover his hesitancy he noticed Optronix also fortifying himself with one.
"I guess… I guess we are both nervous about it." – he grumbled, giving up pretending otherwise. – "I have no wish to hurt you or…"
"Just open the link, please…"
He saw Optronix scuttling a bit closer on the recliner, slightly trembling, but his exotic, blue optics determined and expectant. He realized that in this area, the young Iaconian was probably more knowledgeable than him – and if he wanted the bond after everything, then it could not be that bad. Megatron turned his attention inward and examined the link in his spark that so far ignored completely, probing and hesitantly prodding the barely there connection.
Now, that he paid attention to it, he felt a slight, insistent nudge in it – and looking up, into those blue optics, he knew that it was Optronix, sort of… knocking on that particular door. He had no idea how to open it though. Then, as he thought about it, he'd closed the bond by will, simply imagining it that way, so the opposite action should be no different. Ex-venting heavily, his denta grinding in the effort, he formed a mental image of a door cracking open slightly, casting light rays into a dark room.
Slowly, he became aware of sensations that sure weren't his own trickling through the link. They felt… lighter somehow, more open and optimistic, young and curious… even though they had a nervous quality in them as well. They almost… tickled, Megatron supposed that was how he could express it, not bad, not inimical, but still strange. He wasn't at all used to feel somemech else's emotions and it made him wish to close that symbolical door. But as the connection narrowed down and the flow of emotions dried up, lastly he felt a sorrow so deep that it hit his fuel tank like a ton of weigh.
It flickered in Optronix's optics too, in the trembling of those full dermas, and it made him feel ashamed for closing the door on him so soon, just because it felt strange to him. Pulling his processor together, he willed the connection to open again, this time more ready for the feel of another in his spark. Megatron cautiously opened the bond up again, felt the joy for doing so and tasted the alien emotions that his mate sent him, the curious, trusting and honest interest, the wish to be accepted, tinged with fear and dread, but brave enough to reach out to him.
The young Iaconian was even more exotic inside than he looked outwardly – and Megatron couldn't deny this time that both drew him, enticed and interested him greatly. He felt his fans start up as his frame heated and a tiny thread of lust leaked back to his mate. The effect was immediate – the blind terror that flamed up and caused the wide-opticked, gasping youngster to draw away in the bond and in reality too… Megatron flinched as his arousal died down in shame and made an aborted move to caress the shaking red shoulder. He caused Optronix to react this way to the subject and it was just now that he actually felt how deep, how strong this reaction was.
"I promised not to hurt you that way again, Optronix. I won't."
The bond wasn't open enough for articulated thoughts, so he spoke up, but at the same time tried to send regret and assurance to Optronix through it. He was actually glad to see the jerky nod from him that was the only answer. The terror slowly abated as the smaller mech visibly struggled to put it aside and replace it with more positive feelings, stilling his trembling and regulate his vents.
"I do consider you beautiful though." – there, it was a compliment, he should love it, Megatron thought, carefully shielded from his mate – "I hope that you don't find me… hideous. We Kaonites are very different from what you are used to."
"N-no! I've always thought you… attractive. Strong, able and… intimidating."
A tiny thread of marvel and envy came through the bond and Megatron realized that this way, he could be sure of the truth of what was being said. It was one advantage of the bond, he admitted to himself, while preening slightly at the admiration that he could be sure was not just a façade, not just to garner his favor, like outsiders often acted around him. He sent back an honest, but carefully not lustful acceptance to Optronix and was rewarded by those exotic blue optics flickering in a surprised happiness.
They were actually connecting through the bond, discovering each other cautiously and Megatron found that he didn't mind it as well as he'd expected it earlier. It was certainly strange to feel another mech's emotions, but tolerable, because Optronix interested him and he felt the other mech's similar curiosity too. After a few breems, he even found that it was harder to keep the connection to its present, narrow way and not throw the bond fully open. He guessed that neither of them was ready for that; besides their present connection was in itself a big enough step forward.
Megatron shifted on the seat, careful not to close the slight distance between himself and his mate. He was surprised but satisfied that the smaller mech drew closer and closer to him during their exploring of the bond but knew for a fact that he should not do the same; that one mistake in the bond told him clearly how Optronix would react to any move on him. But he was close enough that their fields touched, exchanging flickers of emotions this way too, beside the bond.
They sat there for nearly a joor; Megatron a bit stiff and overly careful, while Optronix more open and outgoing, testing himself just as he did with the warlord. That neither of them failed that testing was nearly a miracle and both of them knew, felt it too. Too much has happened for their relationship to be easy, too many mines were buried on that particular minefield.
After Megatron – somewhat reluctantly – left, Optronix realized that he completely forgotten to ask about the constructions nearby. Avara came in and they chatted easily, the servant telling him about the palace, the nobles, even Megatron's brothers, whom Optronix knew only from the bonding ceremony, but would meet as soon as he was ready, the warlord told him. He wasn't looking forward to that, expecting them to be similar to Megatron, just without his newfound compassion.