Date: TA 2941
Thorin: 195 years old
Lina: 192 years old
"What do you think of our burglar?" Thorin asked as he settled his large frame on the ground beside her.
Lina looked at him in mild amusement. They had barely spoken all day for one reason or another, yet, since the moment he saw her talking to the hobbit, he had been looking for a way to speak with her.
"I like him," she answered lightly. Her eyes caught the slight tightening of his jaw, the hardening of his gaze, and the sudden control he exerted over his breathing. Those signs had become more familiar of late.
"You're jealous. Why?" Thorin seemed surprised she'd noticed his reaction. Did he really think he was that skilled at masking his emotions? Spending the first twenty years of her life under an abusive father had honed her ability to read emotions. Being married for over a century had made deciphering Thorin's mood and emotions relatively simple. For a moment it seemed as if her husband was going to object. His mouth tightened as he bit back a reply, one Lina had heard many times though he'd gotten better about not using it.
"So what if I am?" Thorin demanded, his whole body stiffening and straightening subconsciously at the apparent threat to his dominance.
"You're honestly jealous of my friendship with Dwalin?" Lina was incredulous. Dwalin had been present at their joining. If her fellow line breaker had any attachment to Lina beyond friendship, he would not have stayed silent then.
"You're my wife," he answered evenly.
"Your point being?" Lina felt her annoyance with Thorin's irrationality bubbling perilously close to the surface. They'd been married barely five years, and suddenly Lina's closest male friend was a threat to Thorin? All Dwalin had done was physically defend his friend from the unwanted advances of one particularly persistent admirer of Lina's. Someone, and Lina suspected she knew who, had begun spreading around rumors that Dwalin was interested in the prince's wife beyond mere friendship.
"You belong to me, not to any other male," Thorin replied. Lina stared at him, shocked at the words coming out of his mouth.
"I belong to you?" The look in Lina's eyes brought Thorin back from his defiant stance a little bit. He took an involuntary step backward as his wife took a step toward him. Her entire demeanor had changed. No longer did she seem as short as she really was. It seemed as if she towered over him, stifling him with her anger.
"I belong to no one," she continued, her voice frighteningly low and even. "I told you years ago that I was tired of being controlled, or having males attempting to control me. That has not changed."
Thorin's natural stubbornness overcame his momentary fear of his wife. He raised himself to his fully height, literally towering over Lina and forcing her to look up at him. His whole body had suddenly gone ridged with anger.
"We were bound five years ago, or have you forgotten that?" he snapped.
"Being bound does not mean I am your property to do with as you please."
"By our law—"
"Our marriage law does not apply to me," Lina snarled, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Or have you forgotten what your father did for me? As a head-of-house, I belong to no one, married or no."
When Thorin had no reply, Lina stalked out of the room. There was armor to pound back into shape waiting for her in the forge. At least she would be able to work out her anger and frustration.
Apparently Thorin had remembered that argument as well, for he was careful to avoid saying any of the things he used to say. It had taken him nearly three years to stop considering her as a belonging. As enlightened as he was, thanks mostly to the fact his lady-wife could give him some nasty wounds in a bout, he still possessed some of the more unsavory views of women shared by other males.
Thorin said finally, "I'm jealous of any male who can make you laugh. You seem to laugh around others more than around me."
That stunned Lina. That the simple act of laughing with another male made Thorin jealous was strange to her, but what really shocked her about his admission was how insecure he seemed. After over a century of being together, Thorin had suddenly become very insecure about their relationship. Earlier jealousy had revolved mostly around rumors spread about a love affair between Lina and one dwarf or another. Not all of those rumors had involved males.
"You make me smile and laugh in ways no one else could ever hope to," Lina pointed out gently. Thorin just smiled softly. He said nothing further, and indication he was not interested in discussing the matter any longer.
The female warrior watched quietly as Thorin stripped off his armor, undressing until he wore only his leather trousers and tunic. For the first time, she noticed looks of surprise on the faces of some of the company, Bilbo among them. What was so surprising to them?
Thorin was completely unfazed by the attention the couple was receiving. In fact, he did not appear to even realize they had become an object of interest to the other members of their group. Oin was preparing to put out the evening's fire, slowly breaking it apart and allowing the flames to die. The expressions of interest and surprise vanished into the darkness. Lina would have to ask someone the next morning what had fascinated them so.
As the last light faded from the fire, Thorin slipped into their combined bedrolls. His lips drifted tenderly across her forehead. Lina slid her body close to his, enjoying the closeness she knew would soon be gone. No matter how long Thorin tried to drag out the journey to the Mirkwood path Beorn had mentioned, the journey would end and Lina would leave the company. Then they would be separated until they could be reunited in Erebor. Only the dreams would connect them then. So, for the time being, Lina reveled in her husband's arms holding her close, his scent filling her nose.
"I love you," Thorin murmured in the darkness, his voice thick with sleep.
Within moments, Thorin was asleep, leaving his wife still wide awake. Her head resting on his chest, Lina stared up at the stars. The light from the moon was nearly bright enough to walk by had she so desired. Lina never had been any great astronomer like some of the peoples of Middle-Earth. Few dwarves were due simply to a life below ground. However, she did recognize a few of the constellations. The dwarves, like other peoples, had legends and history behind many of the individual stars and constellations. The great warriors and kings of the past shone above her, some still locked in the deadly struggles which had cost them their lives.
She wondered if any of the dwarves she knew would ever be counted among the stars. Would anyone even remember their names when their children and grandchildren were dead? The question gnawed at Lina. It wasn't that she wanted fame and glory. She had seen what that did to a dwarf's head and personality. No, she only wanted to be remembered, to have mattered. The worst fate, Lina imagined, would be to never have one's name remembered in a future generation. All the struggles to simply survive, the pain and loss, would be for nothing.
In some respects that was what worried Lina the most about this quest. This quest was dangerous. If they succeeded, then their names would be remembered long after their bodies had turned to dust. If they failed, there was little chance the sacrifices they had made, and would make, in the attempt would be remembered.
There would be no children born of Lina and Thorin to carry on their names. Only great deeds would ever keep their memories alive to future generations. For the first time since Thorin had broached the subject, Lina understood why he might want his nephews sent to safety. If they died on this quest, there would be no one left to carry on their line. Dis might have other children, but they would be to carry on the line of her husband, not her brother. Her mind in turmoil, Lina fell into a fitful sleep.
The next morning could not come soon enough for Lina. She did not remember her dreams, but a sickening feeling filled her whenever she tried to remember them. Too often, she had woken up and been unable to fall back asleep in a timely manner. She was careful to hide her exhaustion from Thorin. There was no need to compound his worries with her own.
Bilbo, however, noticed almost as soon as they began to move than Lina was withdrawn. The hobbit fell into step beside her, looking inquisitively at her. Lina had to give him that, he was very observant.
"Something's bothering you," he observed.
"There's one thing bothering me, another confusing me," she answered.
"Can I help?"
Lina gave Bilbo a tired smile.
"With the second perhaps."
"How?" Bilbo looked up at her, trying to watch her face and the road at the same time.
"What was so fascinating about Thorin and me last night? Everyone was watching us with absolute surprise on their faces."
"Since we set out from Hobbiton on this venture, Thorin has not removed one piece of armor or clothing to sleep. His armor was as much against any enemy as against us. He was always angry and short-tempered. As I'd mentioned before, until you arrived he never smiled or laughed. To see him take off his emotional armor was surprising enough," Bilbo explained.
"Why would his figurative armor coming off be more surprising than his literal armor?" Lina asked curiously.
"You're his wife," he continued, "If he kept his emotional armor on around you, it'd be a really bad sign. Yet his physical armor is such a part of him that to see it removed was strange. In Beorn's house it seemed normal for him to take it off, but not out here in the open. You make him feel safe."
Lina looked down at Bilbo. She made Thorin feel safe? Events of the past had made her realize that her presence was of great comfort to her husband was he was hurting. She knew that her touch could soothe his worries. Yet she had never thought about Thorin feeling like he always had to be on his guard. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Thorin had only ever removed his armor around her, literally and figuratively.
"Does he disarm around your children?" the hobbit asked.
"We—we don't have any children," Lina replied, her voice dropping with sadness. The hobbit looked at her in surprise. Couples in the Shire, especially those who'd been married for any length of time, had several children.
"Do you not want them?"
"We want them very much," she told him, "But a wound I received many, many years ago has prevented that dream from coming true."
"Oh." The pair fell silent, neither quite sure what to say to the other.
"Can I make a request of you?" Lina asked, finally breaking the silence.
"Anything," Bilbo responded.
"Make sure Thorin's name is not lost in time," Lina requested, "I don't care how. Write it in a book for your own children, but, please, don't let Thorin's name pass from memory."
Bilbo was surprised by the pleading her heard in the fierce warrior's voice. Her eyes were soft and sad. In that moment Lina looked more like a lost child than a fully grown dwarf. Something was deeply troubling her about this quest, beyond simply dying. What that was she did not feel it necessary to share with Bilbo.
"I will make sure he is remembered, Lady Firehammer," Bilbo answered gravely.
"I promise."