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Chapter 4-The Best is yet to come
Standing in front of her mirror, Jane studied her reflection. She couldn't see anything different, but she knew something had changed. Dark brown eyes stared back at her, the same dark brown she saw every morning as she got ready for school. The image before her appeared to be the Jane Rizzoli she thought she knew, but she felt altered in some way. Leaning forward she looked closely at herself. She hoped she'd see something to identify the change she was feeling, a change she wasn't sure she was ready to accept.
Jane wasn't exactly sure how to handle what she had seen in Maura's eyes earlier that afternoon. At the end of the day, Jane did the only thing she could think of, she ran. She ran away from Maura and a need she had never experienced before. Jane knew she had hurt Maura greatly, but something was holding her back. If she had the guts to admit it, she knew exactly what it was. It was fear. For the first time in her life she felt like a coward.
With a resigned sigh, Jane ran her fingers through her long dark hair, pushing it back over her shoulders in the process. She rubbed her tired eyes with the palms of her hands before turning her attention back to her weary reflection.
"You're in deep trouble Rizzoli." she said aloud. "Deep, deep trouble..." When the only response was silence, she smirked at herself. "Figured you wouldn't have much to say…"
As Jane rummaged through her drawers, looking for something to sleep in, a wave of guilt came over her. Her stomach churned with uncertainty. She hadn't called Maura when she got home. It was something that she had done every day since they had started their study sessions, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.
Doing her best to push down her doubts and remorse, Jane decided to listen to some music. As her fingers ran across a stack of albums, she pulled out one in particular and considered it for a minute. She flipped it over and scanned the song titles until she found what she was looking for. She placed the record on the player, bringing the needle to hover over the third song. When she dropped the needle into place, the room filled with the sound of Foreigners "I want to know what love is." With a small smile, Jane leaned back against her bed. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to get lost in the lyrics.
Disappointment was something that Maura was familiar with. She had experienced it all through her life in one form or another, usually moving on without much thought. She had long ago built an invisible fortress around her, keeping people at arm's length, protecting herself from heartache. But tonight was different and it was because Jane hadn't called. It had become a ritual that Maura looked forward to every night and not hearing Jane's voice before bed caused an ache in her stomach. With a heavy sigh, Maura came to the realization that Jane had climbed those walls she had so carefully erected around her heart. Jane was slowly, but surly making a place for herself within Maura's once guarded life, leaving Maura defenseless.
As Maura got ready for bed, she tried to reason with herself that Jane was probably tired. She could still feel the sting of Jane's rejection as her mind began to wander back to what had happened between them that afternoon.
It had been one moment, but what a moment it had been. Maura could still feel Jane's hands, warm and strong as they held onto hers. The heat that had emanated off of Jane's body still left a lingering burn on Maura's skin. Jane's eyes had been intense in a way that Maura had never seen before, but she thought she recognized the desire. She felt completely and utterly safe with Jane, but she wasn't sure that Jane felt the same way. Having almost convinced herself that what she saw in Jane's eyes was something she had imagined, she felt an overwhelming sadness sweep over her as she slipped under her covers.
Standing outside of their anatomy classroom, Maura leaned against the wall as casually as she could. She was waiting for Jane, who had stayed after class so Mr. Dennison could grade her test. It had been a unit test consisting of the first five chapters. Having studied consistently for two weeks, Maura was confident that Jane had passed. As she watched people walk by, gathering things from their lockers and hustle out the door, her thoughts turned to Jane.
Maura had never been so comfortable with anyone before. Jane didn't judge her, make fun of her, or make her feel strange. She was beginning to realize that her attraction to Jane had moved far past the Jane in the football uniform, to the Jane that had become her friend.
Maura was taken by surprise when Jane flew out of the room and propelled herself at her, arms outstretched. The unexpected force of Jane's hug caused Maura to drop her books.
"I passed, I passed." Jane squeezed Maura hard. "Thank you so much for helping me." She pulled back so she could look at Maura. "Not only did I pass, but I got a 92!" She smiled that dazzling, dimpled smile and held her paper up for Maura to see.
Maura felt weak at the knees as bent down to pick up her books.
Jane watched Maura gather her things off the floor. "Sorry Maura, did I do that?" She bent down to help.
"It's okay Jane. I'm really proud of you. I had no doubt you would do it."
"Well," Jane said picking up the last book and handing it to Maura. "I couldn't have done it without your help. Thanks…"
"I am happy that I could help." Maura took the book from Jane. When their hands touched, warmth traveled up Maura's arm, straight towards her chest. As she stood up, she caught a glimpse of something new in Jane's eyes. Was it fear Maura had seen?
"I'd better go give Coach the good news." Jane said with a shy smile. "You're gonna come to the game aren't you?" She looked hopeful.
"I wouldn't miss it." Maura smiled back at her.
"Great." Jane picked up her book bag and slung it over her left shoulder. She stopped before turning away and gave Maura a cautious smile. "Thanks for everything Maur."
"Anytime..." Maura whispered feeling something stir deep down inside of her as she watched Jane walk away.
Leaving Maura alone in the hallway, Jane hoped that Maura hadn't seen the fear that had welled up inside of her when they touched. Her need to be near Maura was so strong that it frightened her. Having never felt anything quite like it before, Jane had no reference. With one last glance over her shoulder, she could see Maura gently biting down on her lower lip. She couldn't help but think that Maura looked adorable, but deep down she knew Maura had seen the fear in her eyes. Jane knew she needed to make things right, but she wasn't sure exactly what she could do. As she headed towards the football field, she decided she would think about it later.
Surrounded by a calm silence, Maura sat in the bleachers alone with only setting sun to keep her company. The sky had changed from its usual brilliant blue to a color palette of pinks and oranges as the sun began to slip down past the horizon. Although it had been a warm afternoon, the beginnings of an autumn chill now filled the air around her. As a cool breeze blew past her, Maura shivered slightly. She had forgotten her jacket, having worn only a light oxford button up shirt with a pair of Capri pants. Realizing it was not her best choice for a wardrobe, she wrapped her arms around herself. She hoped that she would be able to stand the cold air as the temperature was sure to drop throughout the night.
The game didn't start until six o'clock, allowing Maura time to sit back and watch people trickle in around her. Off in the distance she saw a bus pull up. Kids filed off one at a time, carrying all shapes and sizes of instruments for the band, followed by what she presumed was the opposing football team. Fear gripped her as she saw the size of some of the young men that she knew Jane would be facing on the field. As another shiver passed through her, she hugged herself tighter although it wasn't the cold air that made her shiver this time.
Jane stood back, watching Maura from a distance. She wasn't quite ready to make her presence know yet. Jane wanted to observe the other girl without being seen. It was still early and Jane had been pleasantly surprised to find Maura sitting in the bleachers already. If she was being truthful with herself, she had been afraid she would have to wait until after the game to see Maura. For some reason it pained her to think she wouldn't get to see Maura's smile before she took the field. It was the smile that lifted her spirits so much, making her feel like she could conquer the world. As Jane watched, silently contemplating, she saw Maura wrap her arms around herself and shiver. Pushing away from the wall she was leaning against, she decided it was time to let Maura know she was there.
Maura felt Jane's presence before she saw her. Something had changed the air around her and she knew it was the energy that radiated off Jane. She could feel it every time she was near Jane. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. With a small smile on her face, she quietly waited for Jane to approach.
Jane could almost see the smile on Maura's face as she got closer. As she slipped into the seat next to Maura, she pulled her sweatshirt off.
"Here," Jane handed Maura her worn, faded, Red Sox hoodie. "Take this."
Maura took it without a word. It was still warm from Jane's body heat as she set it in her lap.
Tilting her head slightly, Maura looked over at Jane. Her mouth went dry at the sight before her. Jane was wearing a black tank top and a pair of gray sweat pants. The muscles in her arms stood out against the tanned skin that had a health glow in the late afternoon setting sun. For the first time Maura could see how strong and broad Jane's shoulders were. She blinked a few times, unsure what she should say or do. Jane was an athletic goddess and Maura wanted nothing more than to worship the body next to her.
Feeling Maura's eyes on her, Jane couldn't help but smirk. Her usual bravado was returning under Maura's hungry gaze. As another gust of wind blew around them, Jane looked at Maura with a raised eyebrow.
"Are you gonna put it on?" Jane asked.
"What?" Maura wasn't sure Jane was talking about. Her attention was on the figure next to her, not the sweatshirt she now held in her hands.
"The sweat shirt Maur. Are you gonna put it on?"
"Oh…" Maura held up the grey sweat shirt with 'Red Sox' across the front in red letters. "What about you Jane? Won't you get cold?"
"Nah, I got my letterman jacket in my bag." Jane said as she took the sweatshirt from Maura. "Put your arms up."
Maura did as she was told, allowing Jane to pull the sweat shirt over her head. As she slipped her arms into the warm garment, Jane reached over to pull Maura's hair out from the collar. Maura shivered again when she felt Jane's warm fingers brush the back of her neck as she gather the long strands of hair before letting them splay out around Maura's shoulders.
"How very chivalrous of you Jane…" Maura sighed into the warmth that now surrounded her.
"Well, you know me…a regular knight in shining amour." Jane laughed as she gave Maura a slight bow. "Please promise me you'll wear jeans and remember to bring a jacket to the next game."
"I guess I didn't really think about how cold it would get. I'll remember to dress more accordingly next time." Maura smiled as she snuggled into the sweat shirt not at all sorry that she had forgotten her jacket. "Thanks for letting me borrow this."
"Keep it…I've got like five of them at home." Jane said with the wave of a hand. She leaned back on her elbows, looking out at the field she was going to be playing on in just a little over an hour. "Maura…? You do have a pair of jeans, don't you?"
"Um…yes? I think so…I'm pretty sure I do…" Maura struggled to speak as she tried to remember if she had any.
Jane couldn't contain the laughter that erupted from her as she tried to imagine Maura in a pair of blues jeans. Since the moment she had laid eyes on Maura, she knew that Maura was anything but casual. Her appearance was always impeccable, as was her choice in clothes. Maura's wardrobe was a far cry from Jane's typical teenager without a cause appearance.
"What is that for?" Maura asked, slightly affronted by Jane's laugh.
"I was just imagining you in a pair of Levi's…I bet you don't even have a pair of Levi's do you?" Jane glanced sideways at a frowning Maura.
"Although I am not entirely sure what Levi's are, I assume they are some sort of denim pants." She watched as Jane nodded confirmation. "Therefore, yes I do own a pair of denim pants…at least I am pretty sure I do. They are probably somewhere in the back of my closet."
Deciding she had teased Maura enough, Jane turned her attention back to the darkening sky. "Fall is my favorite time of year." She sighed in contentment.
"Really…? Why?" Maura asked, grateful for the change in subject.
"Guess it's cuz I get to play football…" Jane said as she stretched her long legs out in front of her, propping them up on the row bleachers in front of them. "The hope that the Red Sox will make the World Series is still alive…although barely… it starts to cool off…the trees change color…you know…stuff like that. I'd give spring a close second…with spring training and all…" She looked at Maura expectantly as if she should understand.
"Spring training…?" Maura blinked a few times, not at all sure what Jane was talking about.
"Baseball Maur…" Jane said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Oh…"
"What's your favorite time of year?" Jane asked. She watched as Maura leaned her elbows on her knees, placing her chin in the palm of her hand.
"I guess I never really thought about it." Maura said with a sad sigh. She bit down on her bottom lip as she quietly considered Jane's question. "Can I get back to you on that?"
Jane saw Maura bit her lip and recognized the worry behind the action. She tried to smile before giving Maura a nod.
"I think my favorite thing about fall is Thanksgiving…all that food…yum." Jane ran her hand across her flat stomach.
"It amazes me Jane that you can consume so much food and still stay so thin. You definitely have an ectomorph body type."
"Excuse me? What did you just call me?" Jane looked over at Maura, her face scrunched up in offense.
"I said you were an ectomorph. You are tall and thin. And based on the fact that you can eat pretty much whatever you want and not gain weight, you have a fast metabolism. These are just a few characteristics of an ectomorph." Maura said. "You have the perfect physique for a quarterback. Although your musculature is well defined, it isn't bulky." She reached over, giving Jane's exposed bicep a gentle squeeze as if to illustrate her point. "See…strong, but lean." Maura cleared her throat in an attempt to cover up her sudden nervousness. She hadn't meant to touch Jane and had done so without thinking.
Jane could still feel the lingering warmth of Maura's fingers on her skin even though Maura was no longer touching her. She closed her eyes in an attempt to center herself, needing to push them away from Maura and direct them towards the upcoming game. It would do her no good to be distracted by Maura's presence because she needed Maura there.
"Thanks…I think." Jane tried not to smirk. She reached over to touch the spot that Maura had, running her fingers over the skin that still tingled. This move did not go unnoticed by Maura.
"Are you nervous?" Maura's voice was soft and thoughtful.
"Yeah…maybe a little…" Jane sighed. She looked straight ahead as if watching some imaginary game already taking place on the field before her.
Maura studied Jane's profile and in that moment she saw a quiet strength that moved her beyond words. Maura knew this is what made Jane a good leader for her team.
"I'm afraid for you." Maura's voice was barely a whisper, but Jane heard her.
Breaking free from her thoughts, Jane looked over at Maura and tried to smile. "Why?"
Maura nodded her head in the direction of the newly arrived bus. "I saw the other team. They are huge Jane. I'm worried that you'll get hurt."
"I can hold my own…" Jane said more firmly than she intended. "I mean…thanks…but I've got a good bunch of guys out there with me. I trust them to protect me." Her voice softened slightly as she spoke about her team mates.
For a minute, they both sat quietly, each lost in their own thoughts. It wasn't until the sounds of people arriving for the game pulled Jane from her quiet contemplations that she decided it was time to get ready. She leaned her head back and looked at the darkening sky with a resigned sigh before standing up.
"I guess I gotta go get ready now." Jane said as she picked up her bag. She looked down at Maura who was still sitting. "I was gonna ask you if you wanna come to the after-party with me and Frankie. Hopefully it will be a victory party."
"Um…I'm not too sure about that Jane. I don't really know anyone." Maura looked away shyly.
"You know me…and that's all that matters." Jane said as she nudged Maura's shoulder with her knee to get her to look up. "I'd really like it if you'd come Maur…" Jane tried not to sound too desperate for the other girls company.
"Well…" Maura considered the backs of her hands before looking up at the expectant expression on Jane's face. "Okay..."
"Cool…I'll see you after the game." Jane said with a wink as she reached down to give Maura's shoulder a gentle squeeze. She allowed herself the guilty pleasure of running her fingers over the silky honey-blonde locks. Taking a deep breath and then exhaling slowly, she jogged down the bleachers and away from all distractions, especially one named Maura Isles.
As Maura watched Jane head off towards the locker rooms, she was sure she had felt Jane's fingers brush through her hair when she had touched her shoulder. Even though she was still apprehensive about watching Jane play her first game, Maura couldn't keep the smile off of her face.
As the late afternoon light gave way to early twilight, Maura watched with interest as people filed into the high school stadium. She had chosen to sit off to the side where the crowd was thinner.
Maura looked up when she heard the pop and hiss of the flood lights overhead as they illuminated the football field and bleachers. She could see the puffs of steam rising from the hot lights as they came into contact with the cool air that had settled around everyone.
Slipping her hands into the front pocket of Jane's hoodie, she burrowed further into the gray sweatshirt that now protected her from the chilly air. As she did, she caught a whiff of Jane in the process. It smelled like lavender, vanilla, and something uniquely Jane. Maura had smelled it many times when Jane would return from the locker room having just showered and washed her hair.
Running her finger over the material, Maura felt as if she was somehow feeling Jane. She hugged herself, reveling in the sensation of Jane's sweat shirt. Feeling it against her skin gave her goose bumps. Maura marveled at the fact that the mere idea of Jane having worn it thrilled her. She could feel herself falling deeper and deeper into whatever it was Jane had to offer. She gave pause to that thought as she realized how much she had come to need Jane's presence in such a short time.
As Jane stood in the tunnel, waiting for her name to be called, she could feel the nervous knots twisting in her stomach. She was anxious to get out on the field, anxious and excited. An image of Maura sitting in the bleachers brought a smile to Jane's face. When she heard her name announced over the loud speaker, she took a deep breath and stepped out into the lights.
The sound of an announcer pulled Maura from her thoughts as the voice introduced each player. She strained to see Jane and Frankie, but she was mostly looking for Jane. She cheered when Frankie came jogging onto the field. When Jane appeared, Maura jumped up and clapped, unable to contain her excitement.
Jane trotted over to the benches on the sidelines and took her helmet off. Her long, dark hair was pulled back and she smiled up at the crowd. She scanned the people sitting on the bleachers until her eyes came to rest on Maura. She waved excitedly and gave Maura that thousand watt smile.
Maura almost melted right then and there, but she was distracted when Jane's gaze moved away. Maura watched as Jane directed her smile and wave at a small group of people before turning around and sitting next to Frankie.
Jane waved one last time before she turned her attention to the field in front of her, shutting out everything else around her.
Looking over to see who Jane had waved at, Maura had a strange feeling come over her at thought that someone else was there to cheer for Jane. She was relieved when she saw a man, a woman, and a teenage boy.
The woman was wearing a t-shirt with the number 24 on it and Rizzoli #2 across the top and Maura recognized Frankie's jersey number. The man had Jane's number 8 and Rizzoli #1 on his t-shirt.
Relief filled Maura as she realized they were Jane and Frankie's parents and youngest brother Tommy. As she sat there, she tried to take in every detail of this family that was there to support their kids. She felt a stab of pain as she thought of how many functions her parents had attended. She could count them on one hand.
As Maura sat back quietly observing Jane's parents, she got lost in thoughts of her own parents. Her father was rarely at home, spending more than half the year in Africa. Her mother, an art professor at Harvard University, was almost always busy. This left little time for Maura. She had learned early on not to expect too much from her absent mother and father. While she was wallowing in her pity, which was something she rarely did, she didn't see Jane's mother watching her.
When Maura realized she was being watched, she tried to smile. Jane's mother smiled back, then leaned over to Mr. Rizzoli and said something before getting up and making her way over to where Maura was sitting.
"You must be Maura." Jane's mother extended her hand towards Maura.
"Yes. Mrs. Rizzoli I presume." Maura took Mrs. Rizzoli's hand. It was strong like Jane's and Maura could see where Jane got that strong jaw and those incredible dimples. Mrs. Rizzoli's eyes were different though, softer maybe and not as dark. There was a twinkle of excitement, but the light hazel wasn't as intense. When she smiled, her eyes crinkled at the corners. Her smile though is what struck Maura. Jane and Frankie had that same smile. It was the smile that could light up a room.
"I'm so proud of my Janie, but sometimes I wish she would do something less dangerous." Mrs. Rizzoli shook her head as she watched the field.
Maura was quiet for a minute. She too was worried for Jane, having said as much to the dark haired girl before she had left Maura alone in the bleachers. Mrs. Rizzoli turned to look at Maura, who had a frown on her face as she thought of the thousands of ways Jane could get hurt.
"This must be your first official game." Mrs. Rizzoli gave Maura a reassuring smile.
"Well, yes, I suppose it is. I've only seen them practice. Is it really that different?"
"You'll see." Mrs. Rizzoli gave her a sad smile.
They both sat quietly lost in thought, watching the teams on each side of the field. The stadium erupted in cheers when the two teams took their place on the field.
"We'll be kicking off to start." Mrs. Rizzoli explained to Maura. "That gives me at least five minutes to breath before Frankie and Janie take the field." She sat up straighter and gave Maura a sideways glance. "I guess I have you to thank for making sure Jane could play."
"Um I suppose so…" Maura looked uncomfortable.
Mrs. Rizzoli reached out and gave Maura a reassuring pat on the arm.
"It's okay Maura. I'm just glad that Jane is happy. That's all that really matters, even if she is going to give her dear mother a heart attack in the process." Mrs. Rizzoli smiled and Maura could see it reach the older woman's eyes. Maura smiled back and nodded.
When Maura heard more cheers erupt, she turned her attention back to the field. She watched with bated breath as Jane put on her helmet and trotted out onto the field. She felt something strange in the pit of her stomach as she watched Jane out there on the field. Jane was tall and lean, nothing compared to the visiting team. They were huge and Maura suddenly started to feel a little sick. She took a deep breath and then realized that Mrs. Rizzoli still had her hand on her arm and was squeezing it rather tightly.
Maura hadn't expected things to happen so fast. She saw Jane take her place in the middle of the field. Her voice carried over the sounds on the field as she called out a succession of numbers and pointed at certain players. Maura heard Jane's husky voice as it carried to her like it was meant only for her. She shivered.
In an instant, Jane had the ball and stepped back. Two gigantic players pushed through, their sights set on knocking Jane flat on her back, but Jane had other ideas. She shifted to her left then somehow managed to squirm away from the larger of the two who had reached out to grab her. Jane's left arm pulled back and she launched the football into the waiting arms of her wide receiver. Maura let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
"See what I mean. It's like they want to kill her or something the way they go after her." Mrs. Rizzoli tried to smile. She realized she was now gripping Maura's arm as if her life depended on it. "Sorry." She let go.
Maura hadn't even realized how tightly Mrs. Rizzoli was holding on to her until she let go. The feeling began to slowly returned to her arm. She didn't have time to say anything because her attention went straight back to Jane.
"Red 28, red 28, set hit!" Jane shouted before the ball was snapped to her.
All Maura could hear was the sound of helmets hitting helmets. She watched as Jane handed the ball over just before she was knocked down. But before Maura could blink, Jane was back up on her feet and back in her position shouting out numbers again.
"Red 18, red 18…green 22, set hit!"
"She's going for the touchdown." Mrs. Rizzoli said.
"How do you know?" Maura squinted as if she could see what Mrs. Rizzoli was seeing.
"She called an audible." Mrs. Rizzoli said, not taking her eyes off of her daughter.
"A what…?" Maura asked, not sure she had heard right.
"An audible…she changed the play based on what she saw from the defense. I should know…I'm the one who helps her memorize that huge play book of hers."
Maura watched the scene unfold just as Mrs. Rizzoli predicted. Jane threw the ball long and into waiting hands for the first touchdown. Everyone cheered and Jane threw her hands up in triumph. Maura couldn't see Jane's face, but she knew she was smiling that huge smile and she felt her heart skip a beat because Jane was looking right at her.
"Wow," Maura let out a sigh. Her eyes didn't leave Jane as she came off the field to slaps on the shoulder and the occasional high five.
As Jane took off her helmet she looked right at Maura. She smiled that huge smile and gave her thumbs up.
"Well I suppose I should be getting back over there." Mrs. Rizzoli nodded in the direction of her son and husband. Tommy was looking in their direction and gave Maura a shy smile. "You know, you could sit with us if you'd like."
"Um, maybe next time." Maura tried to smile. She didn't want to move for fear that if Jane looked for her again, she may not be able to find her.
"Okay, but I insist you come to dinner on Sunday. I know that Jane's dad would love to meet you. He enjoys this more than I do. He was so happy that Jane was able to play." Mrs. Rizzoli smiled down at Maura as she stood up to leave. "I won't take no for an answer, so I'll have Jane pick you up at six."
"Thank you Mrs. Rizzoli, it will be a pleasure to have dinner with your family." Maura beamed up at her.
After Mrs. Rizzoli left Maura to her solitude, she turned her attention back to Jane. She knew she must have the strangest grin on her face. Seeing Jane out there on the field excited her in a way she didn't think was possible. Jane was so good at football; in fact Jane was good at everything she did. Maura hugged the sweatshirt she was wearing closely against herself and wondered what else Jane was good at. Maura could feel her cheeks flush slightly as her thoughts took her away from the game. When it came to Jane Rizzoli, Maura knew the best was yet to come.