2
Piper did not see Alex the next day.
She woke up that day with the strange feeling of having something to look forward to, for the first time in years, something she had never done in as long as she could remember. In fact it was the other way around, going to bed each night dreading for light to come once again. She felt safest in the dark because it hid her from the rest of the world that obviously hated her. And the unknown that the next day might bring terrified her in ways she knew she'd never understand. She closed her eyes every night not wanting to expect anything from the day she would be waking up to but that day after she met Alex was different.
She expected to see her, she wanted to see her.
She walked her way to work finding herself stop in front of Alex's house, lingering a little bit longer than she was supposed to. She found no signs of any life in there, just like any other previous days she would take notice of the slightly dingy house that looked as if it had survived so many years. But she attributed it to the fact that it was still really early for Alex to be awake, especially because she was pretty wasted the night before.
So she kept walking until she reached Red's Diner and started her work more chipper than usual. That was how her day started and as it progressed, she would constantly look at the door whenever she would hear it open, expecting to see a certain raven-haired woman only to be disappointed when it turned out to be a different person. So her day went like that until she was already closing the diner, feeling slightly, probably more than she would ever admit to herself, frustrated that Alex didn't come. So she walked home, stopped in front of Alex's house once more, only to see the same thing she saw earlier that day and all the days before, the house still showed no sign of any life inside it.
The next two days weren't any different.
She still expected to see Alex, and she still didn't show up. The disappointment within Piper kept growing by the minute, more than she would ever really acknowledge, because she really thought she'd see her again. She couldn't exactly blame herself because Alex hinted at seeing her again. Or did she really? Thinking back to that day they met, it was her who had said the words 'next time' and Alex did not say anything back in agreement. She just smiled at her and said good night.
Realizing that, Piper felt despondence take over her and she scolded herself slightly for feeling this way towards someone she barely knew, or someone at all. Sure, there was something about Alex that urged her to want to know more. That woman could only be described as a walking enigma and Piper wanted nothing but to unravel the mystery that was Alex Vause. In facade, Alex showed a strong and confident woman but Piper couldn't help but wonder whether there was weakness that hid behind that.
But with the recent turn of events, maybe there was no way for her to find out about that. Maybe Alex was not different. Maybe she was just like anybody else.
She should be thankful, really. She had spent most of her life trying to avoid attachment to anyone, even anything and she shouldn't be changing any of that just because of a woman she had interacted with twice. She didn't even understand whatever this was she was feeling towards Alex and maybe she should take her not showing up as a pretty big sign that she shouldn't take it any further, whatever that meant.
So she went on with her day that fourth day since she met Alex and she tried going through it just like any other day she's had for the past four month in this thankless job. Surprisingly, she was successful in ridding her mind of thoughts of Alex that day, and she was partly thankful to the swarm of people that kept coming into the diner. The fact that she was kept busy meant there was no way Alex-Vause-related-thoughts could occupy her mind for a while.
The day ended with Piper almost wanting to just crawl back home from too much exhaustion. She could barely feel her feet from all the walking and running and sprinting. She was inside the storage room again, about to close up the diner when déjà vu took over her and she suddenly started hearing footsteps from outside. And just like that previous night this first happened, she slowly walked her way towards the connecting door, but this time without any weapon on hand and somehow with a slight idea on whose footsteps those belonged to.
And there she was, leaning against the doorway with that smug look that Piper found startlingly attractive, wearing a black shirt that emphasized her assets underneath a black leather jacket and black jeans that fit her like a second skin completed by a pair of black biker boots. Piper thought she'd never seen black look so beautiful on a person before. It was again dark in the room and Alex was illuminated by the light coming from outside like she was some holy figure that was only right to be knelt in front of. To say she looked even more gorgeous than the last time Piper saw her was an understatement. Her long blue-tipped jet-black hair only emphasized the gorgeousness Alex already exuded and Piper was in no way prepared for the rush of emotions that were only piling up every minute she kept staring at her.
And just like that, any doubts she had about getting herself even deeper into the hole she had dug that led to Alex were thrown away. She wanted to know this person more, she fucking craved for it.
"Like what you see?" Alex asked, slurred, with a shit-eating grin that made Piper blush like a freaking 12-year old and look away immediately.
She wanted to disappear right there and then for having been caught staring but her giddiness about seeing Alex again after too long a time won over any other emotions she was having at that moment so she silently told herself to just 'Fuck it' and started (or rather, continued) the conversation.
"You know, I'm trying to remember the last time I saw you sober," Piper said in a surprisingly steady voice, not moving any closer to Alex because only God knew what she would do if she did. She now knew she could never trust herself around this person.
She could barely make out Alex's face from the dark but she could see her cock an eyebrow and a look of amusement was suddenly evident on her face. "You've only seen me three times, kid."
"Yeah? Well that's because you haven't shown up since." Piper almost swore at the slip up. She had practically told Alex how she'd been waiting for her to come over ever since they met, which was of course true, but Alex didn't really need to know that. She silently prayed the other woman would just ignore whatever she said.
But this was Alex she was talking to. Even though Piper didn't really know her, she had this vibe that somehow made Piper believe she always used these kinds of things to her advantage. And true enough, she did. "Hmm. Been waiting for me, I see." Alex looked so pleased with herself that Piper wanted to remove that smirk off her face but at the same time, she found herself fighting off a smile that was threatening to give her away, to reveal to Alex that she actually liked this subtle flirting.
One did not need to be a genius to know that Alex was gay. There had been numerous of times when Nicky would mention a certain best friend who liked to fuck women just for the pleasure of it. She honestly thought Nicky was talking about a guy at first but when Alex mentioned Nicky being her best friend, she knew right then that she was who Nicky kept talking about. Add the fact that she had seen the difference of the way Alex interacted with guys as opposed to women that first day she was at the diner and Piper didn't really need any verbal confirmation about this anymore.
Piper on the other hand had never been with a woman before. She'd never even been attracted to them, in a romantic sense. Ever since, she's only had one serious relationship and a number of flings or one night stands or any label for a relationship without any emotional connection, all of which were with guys. She'd probably kissed a girl or two out of a dare or drunken shenanigans, but that was it. She'd never really considered herself as anything other than straight so these strange feelings she was having towards this woman in front of her right now was puzzling her to her cores.
She knew this wasn't a crush. It was fucking ridiculous to call this that because first, she wasn't in freaking high school anymore, second and more importantly, the intensity of what she was feeling undeniably fell into a spectrum between anything more than infatuation and utter and irrevocable kind of love. And that's what's scary because that range contained an infinite number of feelings balled into one continuum and she didn't know whether what she's feeling was something closer to the infatuation side or the other scarier side. Which was nonsensical to say the least because she's only met this person four days ago, on three brief occasions.
"Uh, you're here for coffee, yes?" Piper almost stammered, wanting to divert Alex's attention, albeit unsuccessfully because the other woman's face was still plastered with a teasing smirk.
"No, kid. I'm here to take you home."
Piper was on her way to the kitchen to grab some coffee but she was suddenly glued on her spot, somewhat dumbfounded. "What?" she said, looking at Alex with a slight chuckle, trying to come off as if she found Alex's joke ridiculous, when in fact, her chest felt as if it was gonna explode because of the loud thumping of her heart.
"You told me the last time we saw each other that you'd let me take you home the next time. Well, this is the next time."
"You're kidding me, right?" asked Piper, still unable to want to acknowledge the fact that she felt the need to grapple for some air to be able to function properly because this was the last thing she was expecting Alex to say.
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"
Of course, she did not. Alex looked serious, more than she'd ever been with Piper, which wasn't really saying much because, again, they've only met twice before this, but it made Piper want to hide, to run from this. Because even though she kept allowing herself to feel these things, it still did not mean that she wanted whatever this was to go anything beyond that. Sure, she wanted to know more. But she wanted it to be in her terms so that if there was any need to finally stop and go the other way again, she would know what to do.
"Uhhh, yeah!" Piper said with a slight chuckle, trying to mask the nervousness that was seeping through every fibre of her being. "You're drunk. And what I meant with next time was next time you're sober."
"Nope. You didn't say anything like that."
"Well, I'm telling you now, Alex. You can walk me home the next time you're sober. Deal?" But Alex was back with that shit-eating grin, and it was enough to make Piper's train of thoughts unravel. "What?"
"I just realized how much I like the sound of my name so much more coming from you." Piper opened her mouth to say something but before she could even think of a response that would make sense (because she now believed whatever would come out from her mouth would never come close to describing the feel of jolt of electricity that ran through her hearing Alex say those words, not that she would want to let Alex know that, really), Alex had spoken again. "But you got yourself a deal, kid. I get to walk you home the next time I'm sober."
Piper felt herself relax for the first time ever since she had Alex in front of her tonight. And after a few seconds of realizing what just transpired between her and Alex, she found herself smiling like she'd never had ever since she and Alex parted ways the first day they met. "Good, now come on, let's get you home then."
Minutes later, Alex and Piper were walking side by side again, this time a little closer than the first time they did, making small talks she knew Alex would forget the next day. She still couldn't walk straight and her words were still slurred, but Piper could not help but label this as the best conversation she had today, or any day for that matter.
Few more houses before they could reach Alex's place, Alex would ask the question that would change the direction whatever Alex and Piper had was taking, and take the control Piper thought she had over this that's happening to them.
"What time do you get off work tomorrow?"
"Uh, I don't. I mean, I'm taking the day off tomorrow." Piper wasn't looking at Alex so she had not seen the smile that had now formed on Alex's lips, the broadest smile she had allowed herself to have ever since she could remember.
"Good. Do you have a pen?"
"What?" asked Piper, now looking at Alex, a little confused by her question.
"Pen. Do you have one?"
"Uhh, here," said Piper as she took the pen she always had to have in her back pocket, a rule Red had insisted on all her employees, and handed it to Alex. The raven-haired took the pen and then grabbed Piper's arm, and Piper had to ignore the sudden sparks that seem to fly the moment Alex touched her, and then started writing numbers on it, which were, was, obviously her number.
She let go of her arm and suddenly missed the feel of Alex's palm over her arm. "There. Give me a call tomorrow."
She stared at her arm, Alex's numbers scribbled over it, and couldn't help but smile. She then looked back at Alex who didn't know was staring at her until her own blue eyes met Alex's green ones. "Hmm, you do realize that you could've just typed your number on my phone, right?" Piper said, waving her phone in front of Alex's face.
Alex chuckled as she again grabbed Piper's arm and held it against her stomach to hold it in place. "Well, I like old school," she shrugged, still not letting go of Piper's arm.
"Yeah well why should I call you?" she asked, again trying to ignore the fact that Alex had taken her arm captive against her, and how much she liked the feel of their skin against hers, and how she wished they stayed that way a little longer this time.
"Because I'm taking you out, kid. You really look like you need it."
And before Piper even knew it, Alex was making her way inside her house, leaving her with thousand thoughts going through her mind, with only one thing registering clearly inside it.
Tomorrow, she was going out with Alex Vause.
-o-o-o-
Alex woke up with a raging headache and felt like someone was drilling a hole in her head. She had never been a lightweight, really. And she wasn't even that drunk last night but maybe four straight nights (which would have been more if only she hadn't travelled back here and had to have one alcohol-free night) of drinking all kinds of alcohol she could take in, and that meant a lot, had finally taken its toll on her. She tried opening her eyes but felt attacked by the light streaming through her window that she had to immediately shut it close again.
Not even a minute of waking up (and trying to go back to sleep again) she felt footsteps coming from outside of her room. And Alex knew very well the only person who had the audacity to come in and out of her house without having the need to ask for permission. Nicky. "Oh there you are! Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty. Your carriage awaits you."
The familiar voice of her asshole for a best friend boomed inside her room as she grabbed the end of the blanket strewn all over her and pulled it until it was off her body. If Alex wasn't having this massive headache, she would have kicked Nicky's ass by now, literally.
"Fuck off, Nicky! What do you want?!" she grumpily said as she put a pillow over her head, aware of the fact that Nicky liked to fuck with her and she was surely gonna yell only to rile her even more.
"I need an explanation on why I wasted an hour of my night last night looking for you when you were supposed to be with me the entire fucking night."
Alex was expecting Nicky to say some sarcastic shit but was surprised to see her slightly pissed. Alex did not make an attempt to answer, though. If this had happened months ago, Nicky wouldn't have cared if she just disappeared on her, but Alex noticed how her best friend had been extra apprehensive when it came to her lately. She should really understand where Nicky is coming from but it was becoming quite annoying to be treated like a child when Nicky knew that she could take care of herself.
"What?!" Nicky pressed on, throwing a pillow at Alex.
"Jesus Christ, why are you being such an asshole today?! No wonder you're single, you are such a fucking nagger," Alex complained, finally sitting up, before grabbing her glasses, blindly, because she still had her eyes closed, on her bedside table. "What are you doing here so fucking early?" she asked, still trying to dodge the question. She grabbed her phone to check the time and was surprised to see that it was almost one in the afternoon.
"I'm serious, Vause. Where the hell did you go and why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"
"Why is this such a big deal? I do that all the time. You do that all the time."
"It's not the same, okay? You're not—"
"What?"
She saw Nicky hesitate for a second before speaking. "It's just... ever since you came back, I've only seen you sober once. I mean, I know you're a fucking alcoholic, but... but not like this. You're acting really strange lately. What the hell really happened, Alex?"
Alex just sighed, a little pissed at Nicky for her questions, and even more pissed at herself for everything. She went back here hoping it would somehow make things a little better, hoping she could forget but every fucking second still reminded her of everything she was trying to stop remembering. She knew it was pathetic to resort to alcohol but it's the only way she thought that was left for her to do. If she didn't do this, she knew she would finally break.
"What, you're really not gonna tell me? You used to tell me everything!"
"And nothing's changed, Nicky!" She pulled her glasses from her face and moved it over her head, looking Nicky in the eye, wanting to let her know that she was telling the truth.
"I don't know, Vause. That's not what it seems like to me."
Alex took a deep breath, knowing Nicky would not give this one up so easily. "Look, can we not do this right now, please? Not when I'm barely awake. My head feels like it's about to explode and I really am not in the right state to talk."
Nicky shook her head, and Alex could see how disappointed she was. She thought she wouldn't say anything else, but was relieved when she spoke. Nicky's silence was the last thing Alex wanted to be thrown at her because it only meant one thing and that was her being tired of Alex's shit already. And Alex wasn't ready for that yet. She had to know that Nicky still had her back.
"All right. But you have to promise me, whatever this is, you won't let it fuck you up. I know you, Alex. I've seen you on our worst times and I don't wanna have to see that again." She paused. "You're gross when you look pathetic."
Alex had to roll her eyes because Nicky couldn't let herself be serious without adding anything insulting but felt herself smile at Nicky's words. "I won't, you fucking sap."
Alex felt a tad bit better, but when her phone rang, she immediately got pissed again because she felt like people wouldn't even give her a break today. It was happening to her a lot lately, snapping at the littlest things.
She answered her phone, not bothering to look at whoever was calling. "What?!" she knew she sounded really harsh but she really couldn't give a care in the world.
"Is that how normal people answer their phones now?"
For a while, Alex did not recognize the voice from the other line. She racked her brain trying to remember where she had heard that voice and instantly froze when she recalled the person behind the sweetest voice she had ever heard. "Next to hers..." a voice inside her head suddenly whispered to her and she felt as if someone had stabbed her right on her chest when she remembered.
"Hello? You still there?"
Alex was thankful that Piper had spoken again because she'd been immediately pulled from the dangerous thoughts she'd been trying to avoid for months now. She couldn't go there again. Not right now. Not ever.
"Hey, kid. Sorry about that. Nicky's here and you know how good she is at pissing people off." She looked at Nicky, and saw her raise an eyebrow at her, a silent question on who she was talking to. She ignored her and turned her back on her instead.
Piper chuckled on the other end of the line and Alex wasn't sure why that sound calmed her. "Oh, yeah I get what you mean. Anyway..." Piper dragged that last word and Alex was more than sure the blonde was hesitant to say whatever she was about to say. "You told me last night to call you today... I'm not sure if that was just some drunken thing or whatever, or if you even remember anything last night, but I just decided to call you since I'm not doing anything today anyway."
Piper was rambling and Alex found her so adorable she didn't realize she was smiling like an idiot until she saw Nicky, who had by now gone in front of her again, looking at her as if she's gone crazy. "Kid," she said and Piper immediately shut up. "You're rambling. Of course I remember everything that happened last night. I'm glad you called."
There was a brief second of silence before she heard Piper's voice again, almost in a whisper. "You are?" asked Piper, sounding genuinely surprised.
Alex smiled again, imagining how Piper must have looked as she asked that question, this time not caring about whatever Nicky was thinking.
She didn't understand why Piper was having this effect on her. Ever since she saw her, she couldn't get her out of her mind anymore. She honestly didn't want to get any closer to her again after their first encounter but there was something about the blonde that kept pulling Alex towards her, like she was some force she couldn't fight no matter what she did.
When she went to Red's diner that first night they talked, she really wasn't expecting to see her. But when she did, there was a little relief that flashed through her at seeing Piper again, as if she was only waiting for the chance for them to meet again. And even though she was wasted that night, she had enough consciousness to realize that just like the first time she saw her that day, she again saw herself in Piper, her lost self, only it was someone better. And before she could even stop it, she had already entangled herself to Piper in ways she knew she could never avoid anymore.
But came the next day, when she was thinking a little more clearly than the night before. She wanted to see Piper again, to talk to her, to get to know her more, whatever that meant for her. But her more rational self told her that she had no right to pull Piper to the mess that she was already in. Her life was fucked up. She was fucked up. And even though she could see that in some ways, Piper might be, too, she could still be fixed. And being associated with Alex was the last thing she should do if she still wanted that for herself.
She lasted two days.
She really thought, she didn't need to have to talk to Piper anymore. She thought it was gonna be easy, she only had to avoid Red's diner and she would be fine. But as time dragged, her need to see Piper only grew incessantly. So when she couldn't help herself anymore, she went to Red's hoping for Piper to be gone by the time she reached the place, but to no avail. She was there and Alex felt happier than she should be.
And now they were here, Piper asking if she indeed was glad that she called. Not bothering to think of any reason as to why, Alex answered Piper's question as honest as she could. "Yeah, Piper. I really am." Piper stayed quiet on the other end of the line and Alex was relieved because she wasn't sure she was ready for any kind of response from her. So before she took the chance to say anything, Alex spoke again. "Look, why don't you text me your address and I'll come pick you up later?"
"Okay, uhm, what time?"
"...should you text me?"
Again, Piper chuckled and it was music to Alex's ears. "No. What time will you pick me up... so I'd know when to get ready."
"I actually am not sure yet. Just text me the address and we'll figure out from there."
"All right then. I'll text you."
"Good. So, see you in a few hours?"
"See you, Alex."
Alex put her phone off with a smile on her face, unaware of the fact that she was finally looking forward at something, for the first time in a really long time.
"Who the hell was that? And you were with her last night? That's why you disappeared on me? You ditched me for some chick?"
"She's not some chick, asshole. That was Piper."
"Piper?" Nicky asked, a look of confusion evident on her face.
"Yeah! Why are you acting like you don't know her?"
"Uhhh, because I don't?"
"What? You do. She works for Red." Nicky still looked like she had no idea who Alex was talking about and Alex wondered why Nicky didn't know her when Piper talked as if they really knew each other. "Tall, blonde, blue eyes, really gorgeous? Jesus, how long has she been working there?"
"Oh!" Nicky exclaimed, finally realizing who Alex was talking about. "You're talking about Chapman! Oh yeah, you're right she is gorgeous. And she's been working for Red for a number of months, I don't know exactly how long, but long enough that I really should know her first name by now."
"How on earth could you not know her first name?"
"Chapman? That woman keeps to herself, man. She barely talks to anyone. No friends, no family. She only speaks to me when I talk to her first and she's so boring as fuck I try to get away as soon as her third word. But yeah, I guess she's nice. Just a little... introverted, or something a little more extreme than that." Nicky paused and seemed to be lost in thought for a while before she spoke again. "How'd you know her anyway? And how did you manage to be in first name basis with her when you just got her a few days ago?"
"I don't know. She seems normal to me. And listening to you, I'm actually having a little doubt whether we're talking about the same person. She's far from boring. She's actually really funny."
"Whoah, wait a minute. You're talking about her as if you have a thing for her. Do you?
Alex was taken aback by the question because it was actually the last thing on her mind. Usually, when she'd see a gorgeous woman, all she could ever think of was that she had to fuck her. But with Piper, that was never the case. It wasn't that she wasn't attractive. She was, actually. Probably more than 90% of all the women she knew. "What? No, I don't have a thing for her."
"Did you at least fuck her then? Wait, why am I still asking, of course you did. Was she any good?"
"What, no! I didn't fuck her. We barely know each other, pervert."
"Oh, right. Coz you've never fucked anyone you know for only a few hours."
Alex laughed because Nicky had a point. How long she's known a person wasn't really one of the things she ever considered when fucking someone. It never mattered to her and Nicky knew that so she wasn't sure why that had been her answer to Nicky's question. "Point taken."
"Why then?"
"Why what?"
"Haven't you taken her home and fucked her senseless. And don't tell me because she's straight because that had never been a problem for you."
Alex thought for a while because she, too, was wondering why she hadn't. She was never the one to say no to sex. And she could see the way Piper looked at her, the way she studied her. If she wanted to, she'd probably be in her bed right now. But Alex never made a move.
Before her life fell apart, it's all she ever did. With the kind of job she had, it wasn't easy to find women. Women came to her, they worshipped her. She could just stand and not do anything and there'd probably still be people, yes, women and men, no matter how grossed out she was about that, who'd do anything for her to fuck them.
After her life made a 180-degree turn, she still did that but this time, for a totally different reason. It wasn't just for the pleasure anymore. It wasn't for the sense of control that it gave her. It had become one of her ways to forget. And she'd become even worse, because she already did it with men, too. She cringed at the thought.
But why not Piper?
"It's just... she's different."
"Why? Because you like her?"
She looked at Nicky for a brief second before she looked away. "Because she's different."
-o-o-o-
A/N:
Wow, thank you for your responses on the first chapter! I'm glad some of you think that this has potential =) Anyway, I'm not very happy with this chapter. I know not much has happened but I'll make it up to you on Chapter 3 =)
Marijn, Hi there, girl! My first reviewer, lol. Thank you! I'm glad you like this one, I'm not sure if you're gonna love it as much as you love HLWILY but I'll do my best, okay? Lol. Hugs!
Guest (who loves this so much), Haha, thank you very much!
valevauseman, Thank you! Yes, I'm gonna keep this going until the end. Hope you'll join me in my journey. Lol.
PhantomJazz, Thank you so much! Hope you like this chapter =)
elliellie1, Thanks, I'm glad you like it! I have quite a lot of ideas for this fan fic =)
Guest (who wants me to keep the chapters coming), =) Hi there! Here's a new one for you guys. Thank you!
moanzs, Hi favourite reviewer! You're amazing, thank you!
FFChik, Thank you! And yes, I will do my best to keep this story going =)
nabi69, Wow, I'm not sure about the one of the best part but thank you! Your review made my day! =)
lily, Hi! I'm glad you're with me again on this fan fic =) Thanks, girl!
VauseSearch, I'm glad you liked the previous chapter! I hope you'd like it til the end haha.
izzielg, Yeah, I will unfold each of Piper and Alex's story as the chapters progress. Thank you!
Guest (who loved it), Thank you! Glad you did!
Ellen0000, I love you for that review! Thanks, girl!
jo michael, Hey there my friend! You just scared me with that expectation haha. I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to live up to that but thank you! I'm so thankful for your kind words, you are amazing!
Guest (last reviewer), I'm not sure but maybe you're a reader from HLWILY? Coz you know my name? Haha. I'm guessing this is I3VauseMan? But thank you! I'm glad you also like the first chapter, you're wonderful!