A/N: This chapter had to be written entirely outside of work, because of the content, so it's taken me getting over some procrastination to sit down and write it. I hope it lives up the expectations of everyone, as I haven't written anything of the smutty nature in a year. I was going to TRY and make it so that not reading the explicit portion of the chapter wouldn't effect the story, but I'm not talented enough apparently. :lol: If you don't want to read it, PM me and I'll try and fashion you a tamer version. Ha-ha. Then again, I never find it all that dirty, so what do I know?

BTW:Kudos and kisses to my darling Issa, who not only previewed the chapter to soothe my nervousness, she guessed, very easily that the name of this story and the chapter titles are all songs by the group Hanson. Yes, they are still around, and they totally rock. I reallyrecommend listening to the song that this chapter is named after. It really fits the feelings I was trying to convey here. So look it up on Youtube, would ya? :lol: You'll like it. :D

Disclaimer:I don't own Blair, Chuck, or Gossip Girl. If I did, Blair would realize that Nate is a whiney baby and Chuck is all the man a girl could ever need.

Warnings: This chapter is rated M for SEXUAL CONTENT.

IF ONLY

Chapter 8

"Save Me"

The force with which Blair had thrown herself into his arms may have taken him by surprise, but Chuck was still able to maneuver them into the room and close the door without alerting his neighbors. Now he was standing with his back pressed up against his wall, holding Blair Waldorf, who was calmly crying into the cloth covering his shoulder.

What the hell was Chuck Bass supposed to do with a crying woman? It wasn't like he had any experience consoling people.

Wrapping his arm around her and rubbing her back, he only knew that he needed to make her stop. "Blair," he whispered quietly, "Do you want to sit down?" When she made a slight nod of the head, he led her over to his bed and sat down, never letting go of her.

After about ten more minutes of no sound but the tiny gasps and sniffles that told him she was still breathing, he tried to ask, "Are you going to tell me what's up, or are you going to continue leaving me in the dark as to the reason for all the tears?"

He watched in relief as she slowly raised her head, first glancing at his lips before meeting his eyes. "Scotch," was all she said.

Resisting the urge to shake her in frustration at her random subject choice, he spluttered, "What about it, Blair?" He was really reaching the end of his rope in the previously unused 'patient understanding" department, "You want a glass? What about it?"

Her eyes seemed to widen, causing her to look momentarily bewildered, then she tilted her head to the side. "No… it's on your breath," she completed her thought and suddenly, he wished she was still crying on his shoulder. Blair's eyes hardened as she spat, "You didn't expect me to show up, did you?"

"You must be hallucinating… I don't know what hell you're talking about, Waldorf," he turned his head from her, finding the comforter next to him on the bed fascinating.

He felt her hand turn his chin so that his breath fell on her face and he was suddenly looking into her unforgiving eyes again. "Yes, you do, Bass." The woman was persistent; she'd bend him until he broke on the subject or until she could read everything she needed in his face. "You didn't expect me to really end things with him, did you?" Her voice had quieted and her bottom lip was quivering, "You gave up on me, expected me to crawl back to him, even though I swore it wouldn't be like that this time." Releasing his chin from her fingers, she started to stand, "And here I actually thought…"

"What, Blair?" Chuck stood and grabbed her arm, pulling her against him so that their midsections were flush with each other, "What assumption did you make?"

"I was naïve enough to think you actually had faith in me, trusted me… understood me the same as I usually do you." As she backed away from him, he released her, trying not to feel his heart tear from the pain her expression held, "So much for hoping you'd be as proud of me for following through with one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life, as I was of you for trying to make something of yourself. I can see now that I was wrong."

His eyelids closed at her words, but he could tell by the sound of her voice that she had turned away from him. "Blair," after taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes to see her back slumped in sorrow. He hated the way she stiffened when he placed his hands on her shoulders as he spoke, "History has shown that all roads in your world lead to him... so, how could I know this time might be different?" As he gently turned her to face him, he saw the tears welling up in her eyes again, "Whatever happened last night was a detour and I accept that... no matter how many delusions I may have developed to the contrary."

"But you aren't delusional," her hands were on his chest, with her eyes glued to the floor, "I am. All the years that Nate and I were together, I don't think he ever really knew me. I needed him, tonight, and I know he's never been there for me when I needed him, but..."

"But what? What are you saying?" Her words were all about Nate, so they told him nothing; especially not what he really wanted to know. "What made you come to me?"

"But you were there…" Lifting her eyes to his, she gave him a small smile, "You're always there when I need you… and right now, I need you, so I'm here."

He was speechless. After all these years, she'd finally figured out how much was really missing in her relationship with his best friend and now she was turning to him? Could it be possible? "Blair…"

As her face neared his, she whispered, "Just don't push me away this time, Chuck…"

She pressed her lips gently to his and he was lost; in the feeling of her lips against his, the arms wrapping around him, the heavy emotion welling in his chest. Bringing his hands up to cup her cheeks, he turned his face slightly, and found she parted her lips automatically, exposing the depths of her mouth to him. Their tongues danced together, in a sensual slow-motion; neither of them was in a rush until her hands pulled his shirt from his pants and found the bare flesh of his back.

Their mouths still connected, Chuck brailled his long fingers down the curves of her body. When he reached the bottom of her skirt, he ran his hands up her Wolford tight-covered legs and grasped her thighs, pulling her up to wrap her legs around him. Clenched in her tight grip, his breath hitched as she ground her center into his groin while he carried her over to the bed. He reluctantly broke the kiss so that he could see to pull the covers down the bed and had to stifle a groan at the tiny nibbles she was placing down his jaw.

Laying her down horizontal to the pillows, he laughed when she grabbed one to put under her head. "Is that necessary?" He climbed on top of her and ran his hands back up her legs to work on removing those pesky tights.

Lifting her head to kiss him, she started to unfasten the buttons on his shirt, "Of course it is." She kicked off her shoes without missing a beat when he worked the tights down her legs, "I wouldn't want my hair to get too crushed." After pushing the shirt off of his shoulders, she pulled the undershirt up over his head, "Never know when I'll need to get out of here in a hurry."

His eyes snapped to hers after dropping the tights to the floor, "You have to know how sorry I am about my behavior this morning." Leaning back over her body, he pulled the clip from her hair, spilling the curls over her pillow, "And I prefer your hair crushed." He smirked as her hand flew to her loose hair, "Kind of a 'Chuck was here' mark."

Slapping his hand away, she began to loosen his belt, "What if I don't want to be marked, Chuck?"

Smirking again, he pulled her up onto her knees so that he could unzip her dress, "I think it's a little late for you to escape intact, don't you?" After he lifted the Valentino dress over her head and tossed it over the nearest chair so she wouldn't yell at him, he was rewarded with the image of Blair Waldorf dressed in only her matching black silk bra and panties. The sight would be indelibly written on his mind forever if he had anything to say about it; it was magnificent to behold.

With her hands on her scantily clad hips, she proclaimed, "You're appalling, Chuck." Returning his impish grin, she leaned forward and pushed his unfastened pants down his hips to pool at his knees. "And entirely overdressed for this occasion."

Pulling her to him, he began trailing kisses over her throat as he laid her down. He was laying between her legs as he whispered, "Your naked wish is my command," and kicked off his shoes and pants over the edge of the bed.

Suddenly, pressed against her with only their thin undergarments separating them, peering into her lust-glazed gaze, their playful atmosphere was gone. The room was suddenly thick with tension, the images of last night floating into the air, reminding him of just what was happening here: she was giving herself to him… again. And this time, there was no blaming the alcohol or the heartbreak or thinking that revenge was her motivation; they were going to be fully aware of decisions they were making, to be responsible for their actions. He needed to be sure she understood all those things, so he whispered her name, as reverently as any prayer, "Blair…"

Her expression was tender as she brought her hand up to brush the backs of her fingers along his cheek, "I'm sure, Chuck…" Fingers traced his jaw-line and grazed the skin of his neck, curling around it and pulling his face toward hers, "No regrets."

Resolving that he would help her maintain that perspective, he captured her lips with his, knowing a verbal response wasn't necessary. For the minutes following, he would read her expressions, gasps, and moans to know that he's fulfilling her desires. Every sensation was still so new to her and her reactions were both gratifying and terrifying; she completely released control to his more knowledgeable hands.

Chuck was the only man with which she'd trusted her body and he found himself praying that he was able to keep it that way.

It was almost unbearable how much Blair wanted this, to re-experience the sensations and pleasures that he'd shown her the night before, and he seemed to be hesitating. The wide eyes, caramel-colored in the lamplight, staring into hers were uncertain and bordering on petrified; she felt like the finest porcelain doll that he was afraid to break. As someone who'd known Chuck for over a decade, the experience was humbling… and an incredible turn-on.

Reaching behind her, she watched the eyes widen further as she released the clasp on her bra and removed it. The motion accomplished two tasks: exposing herself to his gaze and reassuring him that she was cognizant of her actions. It seemed that was all he needed to snap him back to attention because his head immediately dipped to take the hardened peak of her left breast between his lush lips, where he swirled his tongue on her skin and suckled like the expert she knew he was.

Throwing her head back at the feeling, her left hand threaded through the hair on his head while her right massaged the nape of his neck, twirling a tuft of hair around her finger. He was leaning on his right elbow and working her panties down her hips when he switched to her left nipple. Hands roaming from the chestnut hair to his broad shoulders, she dug her nails into his skin when he slipped a finger inside her, brushing her clit with his thumb, causing her to moan, "Fuck!"

A haughty chuckle made his chest rumble against her stomach, the vibrations rippling across the nipple between his teeth as he released it in favor of kissing her jaw, "Such a naughty word from such a pristine mouth…" She felt another finger join the first and when he hooked the tips of them to find her most sensitive spot, she barely heard the whisper in her ear over her spontaneous purring in response to his touch, "And I like it."

Trying to regain some sense of her mental cognition while he attempted to make her lose it, she gripped his shoulders and pulled his face to hers for a kiss. Then, using her feet, she slid his boxers down his hips, removing the last cloth barrier between them. When she felt how hard he'd become next to her thigh, knowing she turned him on that much, it pushed her to reach her climax, essentially failing in the 'regaining-control department' when she moaned his name.

His lips found hers, his kisses tender and caressing, as his hands cupped her cheeks. After taking a few moments to catch her breath, she used the opportunity to lock her feet together, grip his shoulders, and flip their bodies so that she straddled his hips. The only response he gifted her with was a proud smirk and a pair of raised eyebrows, while she sat astride him with a grin. Smart-ass comments were no doubt warring to escape from the tip of his tongue, but he held them in check.

She watched as his left hand reached under one of the pillows at the head of the bed and came back with a condom, which he ripped open, yet didn't unwrap. Holding it out to her, he challenged, "You'll do the honors, of course?"

Snatching it from his grip, she shifted down over him, causing his tip to graze her clit lightly, eliciting a twitch of pleasure from both of them, and kneeled straddling his thighs. After taking a second to tentatively touch him, fisting his shaft in her hand curiously, watching his eyes roll back when she did so, she carefully rolled the condom over his cock and tossed the wrapper over her shoulder.

Looking up at him, she met his amused gazed, her tongue beginning to form a retort, but thought of comebacks flew from her mind as she lowered herself on top of him, drawing moans from them both and causing her head to fall back. She felt the shift as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her, pressing their bare chests together and placing a kiss on her collar bone. "Done experimenting?"

Clasping her ankles behind his back, all she could do was nod. Chuck brought her with him as he lay down and rolled them over, his arms leaving her back to slide to her shoulders blades. Levering himself on his forearms, he immediately withdrew from inside her and then slowly slid back in. His lips were sucking and biting her neck, tongue swirling to soothe any injuries as he quickened his pace instinctively, just when she longed for more speed. The feeling was like being torn apart and then repaired, over and over again, finding the fitting completion their connection brought only to lose it again. It was a paradox; she had to go through this withdrawal to experience the delicious tightening in her stomach, to achieve that unseen goal of release that he caused her to crave.

Her hips were lifting to meet his thrusts and she knew her nails were leaving red scratches down her back, but there was no restraining her response to him. The planet was spinning out of control, whirling dangerously fast, the only sounds she could hear were the beating of their hearts and the mingling of their cries. Sweat was dripping down his brow, so she brought a hand to wipe it away, and bring his mouth to hers. All rhythm was lost as he shakily drove into her, the explosion of her orgasm racking her body with tremors, triggering his release, relaxing her muscles and quieting the indecisions of her heart.

Right now, there was one man, one place, one feeling, and no other sound but his heart beating erraticly in unison with her own. There was no telling whether she would ever grow tired of the place, the sound, or the feeling… or if any other man would be capable of making this act such an earth-shattering encounter.

A/N: I'm nervous about posting this chapter, so please let me know how I did with this. Right now I'm terrified of OOC-ness, since I've strayed so far from the script at the moment, so let me know if Chuck, in particular, was believable. Reviews will be laminated and cherished. :lol: