*The holidays came and went so quickly, leaving me in a slight daze and a little behind on my writing. I did have this chapter finished, but an idea came to me which had me doing a total re-write…so I hope it was worth it. The next chapter will definitely have me turning up the heat on Jane though…here's hoping that she doesn't put up too much of a fight. Again, thanks for reading and please continue to enjoy…
Chapter 8-It's Only Love
Maura leaned back in her seat; eyes wide with wonder at the sights and sounds that surrounded her. She didn't realize how overwhelming her first baseball game was going to be, but she was comforted by Jane's presence next to her.
Jane could hardly contain herself, the excitement overflowing in every movement she made. She had a huge grin on her face as she continued to point things out for Maura to see. It was a huge rush knowing that she was the first person to share this experience with Maura.
"See that red seat over there…" Jane pointed towards right field. "That's the lone red seat. It signifies the longest home run hit by Ted Williams on June 9th, 1946. The ball went about 501 feet from home plate that day." Jane's cheeks were flushed with enthusiasm.
Maura could only smile at Jane's exuberance as she continued to explain the finer points of Fenway Park.
"And that over there is the Green Monster…" Jane said, drawing Maura's attention towards left field.
"The Green Monster…? I don't see a monster…" Maura squinted as if she might see better, not exactly sure what she was looking at. All she saw was a huge green wall.
"The wall Maur…it's called the Green Monster. It stands just over thirty seven feet high. It is around 315 feet from home plate. It's a popular target for right handed hitters." Jane continued.
"Oh…" Maura wasn't at all sure she understood what Jane was telling her but she tried her best to listen as Jane continued to rattle off facts. She nodded in all the right places as she heard words like Pesky's Pole, Duffy's Cliff, and the Triangle. Jane was a wealth of knowledge about Fenway Park and Maura felt privileged to be on the receiving end of so much information. She could easily see how much Jane love being there.
As Maura sat quietly listening to Jane, her eye's roamed over groups of people as they milled about trying to find their seats. The sun was high in the sky, casting a shadow across half of the stadium. Maura smiled as she felt the warmth of the sun against her face, glad they weren't sitting in the shade. Lost in the sights and sounds around her, Jane's voice started to fade into the background as Maura settled into the moment.
"Well…if it isn't Jane Rizzoli…" A far off voice pulled Maura from her reverie. When she looked up to see who the owner of the vaguely familiar voice was, she was surprised to see a woman who looked a lot like Jane.
"And if it isn't Carlotta Rizzoli…" Jane jumped up and wrapped her arms around the woman in a tight hug. "What are you doing here?"
"Your Pop gave me tickets…" The young woman said as she released Jane from their hug.
Maura watched with the utmost curiosity. The young woman that stood before her was an older version of Jane by about four years. She had long, dark hair that matched the color of Jane's, although it was straight and held no hint of the curl that played throughout Jane's. She had a tall, thin build and stood maybe two inches taller than Jane. When she smiled, she exhibited the same Rizzoli charm that Maura had come to love in Jane's smile. There was however one huge striking difference between them, their eyes. Where Jane's eyes were a deep, dark, lustrous brown almost like liquid velvet, the woman standing next to her had blue eyes the color of the sky above. So caught up in her observation, Maura didn't hear Jane speaking to her until she felt a nudge in her side, only then did she look at Jane.
"This is my cousin, Carly…" Jane said when she had Maura's attention. "Carly, this is my friend Maura."
"I can see the family resemblance…" Maura said as she extended her hand for Carly to shake. As they shook hands, Maura noticed a petite blonde standing slightly behind the taller woman. Vivid green eyes shyly peered at her from around Carly's broad protective shoulders. Maura was surprised to see a cherubic face, framed by short, shaggy blonde hair as the woman smiled at her warmly, her nose crinkling up in the cutest way. A strange feeling of kinship surged through Maura as she smiled back at the woman who matched her in size and stature. Maura's first thought was that these two women made a striking couple. She wasn't sure why, but she had the strangest feeling she was looking at her and Jane a few years down the road and it made her smile.
"Um…this is my friend Ryan…" Carly said as she placed a protective arm around Ryan's shoulder.
"Nice to meetcha…" Jane politely smiled at Ryan. She had seen Carly's defensive stance and decided it would be in both of their best interests if she didn't question it.
"And you as well…I've heard a lot about you." Ryan said before turning her attention to Maura. "And it's nice to meet you too…" Their eye's locked for a brief second, and Maura felt a silent understanding pass between them.
As Carly and Ryan moved past Jane and Maura to their seats, Jane couldn't help but wonder if she was missing something. She had seen something unspoken pass between Maura and the two other women before they took their seats and it bothered her. Deep down, she knew what she had seen, but her stubborn subconscious wouldn't allow her to recognize it.
"So what brings you out on this fine afternoon…besides baseball?" Maura asked.
"We're celebrating…" Carly immediately perked up. "Ryan just got accepted into Harvard Law School, so we thought we'd take in a game, seeing as she loves the Red Sox."
"That's wonderful news!" Maura clapped her hands together in excitement. "My mother is a professor at Harvard."
"Really…? What department?" Ryan leaned forward so she could see Maura as they talked.
"The Art department... I don't suppose you'll be taking any art classes though…" Maura gave Ryan a wry smile.
"No…don't suppose so…" Ryan shook her head.
Jane listened half-heartedly to the conversation taking place next to her because her mind was elsewhere. She couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that something else was going on, something she wasn't privy to, but Maura was.
"What do you plan to do with your law degree?" Maura questioned, her curiosity piqued by the cute blonde.
"My goal is to someday work for the D.A. It's been something I have wanted to do since I was a kid." Ryan's voice was filled with conviction.
The sound of Ryan's voice carried to Jane, who was lost in thought. The conviction of her words hit Jane hard, causing her to turn her attention to the conversation she had been previously ignoring.
"You want to work for the D.A.?" Jane asked.
"Yes…," Ryan gave Jane a wary look. She wasn't exactly sure why Jane was suddenly interested.
"I plan on becoming a homicide detective with the Boston PD…who knows…maybe someday we'll work together." Jane gave Ryan a genuine smile.
"Who knows…," Ryan smiled back. "What about you Maura?"
"Oh, I plan to go to medical school…but I am not sure what I want to specialize in. There are just so many things I want to try…" Maura began to ramble on, but stopped when she felt Jane's hand gently patting her own. "Sorry…I am very passionate about medicine…" She stopped when she looked at Jane who was beaming with pride.
"She's real smart. I don't doubt she will be the best doctor ever." Jane had a huge smile on her face.
Maura could feel her heart melt at the look on Jane's face. No one had ever looked at her with such pride before. She felt Jane give her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. The move did not go unnoticed by Carly or Ryan who gave each other a knowing smile.
"I guess I am the odd one out…" Carly chuckled. "I just want to bake…but I am one passionate baker."
Jane missed the wink that Carly gave to Ryan, but Maura didn't. She could see Ryan's cheeks flush slightly so she looked away not wanting Ryan to know she had seen. Maura had seen a playful twinkle in Ryan's vivid green eyes that were now gazing loving at Carly. Realizing that both she and Ryan had the same reaction to the Rizzoli wink brought a small smile to Maura's face.
"You're one hell of a baker Carly. I haven't had any of your macaroons since our families got together on the 4th of July." Jane smacked her lips together at the thought of the small, sweet cookies that Carly had made for the party.
"Oh I love macaroons!" Maura sighed at the thought of the bakeries she had frequented when she was in Paris.
"Yeah…?" Carly gave Maura a sideways glance. "I guess I will have to make some for our Thanksgiving get together. I am working on some new flavors…"
"Sounds good…" Jane leaned back in her seat as cheers erupted around them. The Red Sox were taking the field as well as Jane's full attention.
"Well, guess that's my queue to stop talking." Carly whispered to Maura. "This one is the same way…" She said as she hitched her thumb at Ryan who was also totally captivated by what was happening on the field.
"So, you're not as into sports as Jane is?" Maura settled back into her seat so she could continue to talk to Carly.
"Nah…I just came because it's important to her." Carly tilted her head towards Ryan who was giving her full attention to game. "Jane still playing football?"
"Um-hum…," Maura nodded in affirmation. "She really is incredible."
"Yeah, I've been meaning to catch one of her games."
"Oh, you really should. I've been to every one so far. I love to watch her play." Maura's eyes shone with excitement, causing Carly to chuckle lightly.
"Is that how you met?" Carly couldn't help but wonder how her cousin had befriended this pretty young woman.
"I guess so…I tutored her at the beginning of the year so she could keep her position on the team. With a lot of hard work, we were able to bring her grade up in anatomy so she could play the first game of the season."
"Anatomy, huh?" Carly studied Maura for a moment with those sky blue eyes, quirking a dark eyebrow in a playful manner.
Maura saw the light blue eyes darken slightly with an unspoken question, causing her to shiver slightly, but not in an uncomfortable way. "You're a lot like Jane." She said, giving Carly a shy smile.
"Yeah…?" Carly smirked.
Suddenly they were interrupted when Jane and Ryan jumped up to high five each other over Carly and Maura's heads. It was obviously something important, but Maura had no idea what could have prompted such an impulsive action.
"See what I mean?" Carly grinned at Maura as Jane and Ryan returned to their seats, their attention back on the game.
As Maura settled back into her seat again, she leaned closer to Carly so they could continue their conversation without being disturbed again.
"Have you ever been to France? The bakeries there are heavenly." Maura briefly closed her eyes at the memory.
"As a matter o'fact, I have. That is where I fell in love with baking. It was there that I decided I wanted to become a pastry chef, much to the dismay of my parents." Carly grinned sheepishly.
"My favorite bakery was this little place on du Cherche-Midi called…" Maura started to say.
"Poilane!" They both said at the same time.
"Yes, I know that place. They had the most exquisite butter cookies. It was one of my favorite places too." Carly's eyes shone with excitement at their shared interest.
Jane caught the slight movement of Maura next to her as she moved closer to talk to Carly. Something caused her to shift uncomfortably, something she wasn't used to feeling. As Jane sat, eyes looking straight ahead, her attention was on the exchange between Maura and her cousin. She didn't like the familiar way they were talking to each other. The ease of their conversation made Jane silently seethe with, of all things, jealousy. Exploring this new feeling, Jane realized that she didn't like sharing Maura.
"Hey Maur…I'm gonna go get something to eat. Wanna come?" Jane said, trying to lure Maura away from Carly.
"Oh, no thank you. I think I'll just stay here and talk with Carly." Maura answered innocently, not noticing the intense look in Jane's dark eyes.
Seeing the anger flash across Jane's face, Ryan decided to take it upon herself to defuse the situation. "I'll go with…" She jumped up, pushing past a surprised Carly and Maura.
"Um, okay…" Jane mumbled, stepping aside to let Ryan out ahead of her. Before she left, she turned back to Maura. "I'll bring you something."
Maura opened her mouth to speak, causing Jane to hold up a hand, stopping her. "And before you say anything, just so you know, the only green food I will be bringing you is the relish on your sausage dog." She said with a finality that gave no room for argument.
All Maura could do was nod as she watched Jane turn on her heel and follow Ryan up towards the concession stands.
With a confused look on her face, Maura turned to look at Carly who was grinning at her sheepishly.
"I think someone's jealous."
"Jealous…? Why would Jane be jealous?" Maura was truly baffled, not understanding why Jane seemed to be angry at her.
"Well…I think that Jane probably wasn't expecting to share you today." Carly reasoned.
"Oh, no…" Maura groaned, placing her head in her hands.
"I think that Jane is just going to have to get used to sharing though…especially when she has such a pretty girlfriend." Carly paused, giving Maura a chance to meet her eyes. "Am I wrong about that?"
"I don't know…I mean yes, but it's something I want…I just don't know what Jane wants." Maura let out a sad sigh. "I'm so confused. One minute I feel closer to her than I have ever felt to anyone, but in an instant she seems to disappear, putting miles between us." She turned to look at Carly, a serious expression on her face. "Jane doesn't know about you and Ryan does she?"
Carly didn't say anything for a minute, causing Maura to think maybe she had made a mistake, but then Carly shook her head.
"No one in the family does, except for my brother and sister." Her voice was barely a whisper as she nervously ran her fingers through her long, dark hair. It was something Maura had seen Jane do on numerous occasions.
"Why…?" The question was innocent enough, but Carly let out a bitter laugh.
"You don't know the Rizzoli's very well do you?"
"I'd like to think I do…" Maura mused out loud.
"Well, if you did, then you would know that shame and guilt are the foundation on which the Rizzoli clan was built. It is the thread that holds the fabric of our family together." Carly frowned at her own words. "I'm not ready to lose my parents yet. I don't want to make my brother and sister chose between me and them, because that's what it would come to."
"I'm sorry Carly. Do you think Jane feels the same way?" Maura could feel fear forming a lump in her throat.
"I don't know… I can't speak for Jane. But I do think that Jane and I are a lot alike. Watching the two of you today reminds me of how things were between me and Ryan in the beginning." Carly looked away as if trying to remember. "Ryan knew what she wanted from the start. Thank goodness she had the patience to wait for me to get my head out of my ass…" Carly looked back at Maura with a crooked grin on her face.
"How long have you been together?"
"Almost four years." Carly answered proudly. "We met our freshman year in college, been together ever since."
"I thought you went to culinary school?" Maura asked.
"My parents insisted that I get a degree. They promised that they would support my decision to go to culinary school if it was something I still wanted to do after I graduated. So…while Ryan is off becoming a lawyer, I'll be realizing my dream of becoming a pastry chef…one step closer to owning my own bakery." The smile that lit up Carly's eyes was dazzling, causing Maura to smile back at her.
"Sounds like a wonderful dream." Maura said wistfully.
"Look Maura…," Carly said quickly when she saw Jane and Ryan making their way back to their seats. "Give Jane some time…if there's one thing I know about her, she never gives up on what she wants and she wants you."
Maura looked surprised by Carly's admission. "How can you be so sure?"
"I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you. I see the same look reflected back at me every time I look at Ryan." Carly gave Maura a quick wink just as Jane and Ryan approached.
Ryan saw the exchange between Maura and Carly. She couldn't hide her smile as she shimmied past Maura to her seat. Handing Carly her beer, Ryan let her fingers linger for just a second longer than needed as their eyes met in understanding. "She figured it out huh…?" Ryan leaned close to her girlfriend, whispering the words in her ear. "You know, I hear she's a genius."
Carly just smiled at Ryan, giving a slight nod of her head, not wanting to move away from the soft lips that were so close to her ear.
"Jane wouldn't shut up about her…it was Maura this and Maura that. The girl has it bad…" Ryan said as she leaned back, taking a sip of her beer. "Kinda reminds me of someone else I know…" she said with a satisfied smirk.
Carly gently nudged Ryan in the side before leaning slightly closer to her so their arms were touching. She sighed contently at the familiar contact as Ryan's warmth comforted her.
Maura's mouth dropped open as Jane handed her a sausage dog, loaded with ketchup and relish.
"I thought you were kidding…" Maura held the offending piece of food at arm's length, away from her. "I didn't really think you would bring me this…this…nitrate filled piece of meat."
"Come on Maur…you gotta have one…its tradition." Jane whined as she sat down in her seat.
Maura turned to look at Jane, surprise written all over her face. "You really expect me to eat this thing? It's full of nitrates, not to mention the sodium content. I know that nitrates are added to the cooking process to help prevent botulism, but once you ingest them, they form nitrosamines which have been associated with various cancers…" Maura rattled off, not noticing the looks on her companion's faces.
"Really…? Please don't ruin this for me Maura, it's all part of the experience. "Jane's bottom lip poked out in a pout.
Seeing Jane pout broke Maura's resolve. She couldn't help but think that Jane was adorable when she pouted and that was probably why she always got her way.
"Okay, okay…the things I do for you…" Maura mumbled as she tentatively took a bite of the sausage dog, trying not to make a face as she chewed and then swallowed. When Maura turned to Jane, she saw an expectant look. "Um…good…" She nodded with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
Jane had a huge goofy grin on her face as she watched Maura eat. She knew that she had Maura wrapped around her finger, learning early on that Maura was a sucker for her pout. As she watched Maura continue to eat, her eyes drifted to Maura's lips, noticing the ketchup that was smudged at the corner of her mouth. Without much thought, she reached out, brushing the offending condiment from the side of Maura's soft lips. As she brought her thumb up to her own mouth, she suddenly felt three pairs of eyes watching her with interest. It was only then that she realized what she had just done and was on verge of doing next. Smiling shyly, Jane wiped her hand on a napkin. She could feel the heat rise in her cheeks as a furious blush spread across her face and neck. Shifting lower in her seat, she attempted to make herself smaller and less obvious.
Seeing Jane's cheeks turn bright red under the scrutiny of three sets of eyes, Maura's expression softened. She had been taken by surprise by Jane's move, the soft touch of her fingers wiping away the ketchup smudge that Maura was unaware of until that moment. There was such tenderness behind the gesture that had Maura wishing they were alone. She wanted nothing more than to explore more of the soft touches that Jane was capable of, but she knew that now was not the time.
"Like I said, the girl has got it bad…" Ryan mumbled only loud enough for Carly to hear.
Carly's only response was to slip her pinky finger around Ryan's, giving it a gentle squeeze. She didn't let go, instead allowing them to share the closeness of the slight touch. It was the only thing they dared to indulge in, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.
Jane tried to inconspicuously glance out of the corner of her eye to see if everyone was still looking at her. She saw Carly wrap her pinky finger around Ryan's and she was surprised to see that Ryan did not move away from Carly's touch. In that instant, she realized that the two women were probably more than just friends. Her stomach clenched with uncertainty as she began to pull away from Maura, not wanting anyone to think the same thing about them.
Feeling Jane fidget next to her, Maura lightly placed her hand on Jane's forearm. She could tell the contact instantly calmed Jane as she felt the tension drain away from them both. Allowing her hand to continue to rest on Jane's arm, Maura decided she needed this closeness, to hell with everyone else. Feeling bold, she leaned her head against Jane's strong shoulder, hoping beyond hope that Jane wouldn't pull away.
When Jane felt Maura's hand, it sent calming waves throughout her body. Suddenly she didn't care what everyone else thought. All she cared about was being close to Maura, feeling Maura next to her. When she felt Maura lean her head against her shoulder, she too leaned into the comfort of the body next to her.
"Are you having fun?" Jane's voice was low and husky. She tilted her head slightly, rubbing her cheek on the top of Maura's head.
"Um hum…I always have fun with you Jane." Maura said, just above a whisper so only Jane could hear. She settled back into the intimacy of the moment as she reveled in their closeness. Feeling Jane relax next to her, Maura knew there was still an underlying tension that Jane was trying to hide; she could feel it vibrating off of Jane's body. Deciding to enjoy what Jane was willing to give her in that moment, she sighed contently as she snuggled just a little closer to dark haired beauty next to her.
Carly had seen a myriad of emotions play across Jane's face ranging from fear to uncertainty, finally settling on contentment when Maura had touched her arm. 'Oh my dear cousin…how alike we are…' she thought to herself. Her heart rejoiced for Jane as she thought about the journey of self-discovery Jane was about to embark on, knowing that she finally had another ally in the Rizzoli family. Perhaps strength in numbers would prove to be true as they navigated the mine field they would surely find themselves in when their families found out the truth. But just as her heart filled with joy, fear nibbled at the corners of her mind. Carly feared that Jane may not be able to handle the pressures of this new relationship that seemed to be blossoming between her and Maura. Knowing that she was already four years into her relationship with Ryan, Carly had a head start on experiencing the highs and lows of loving another woman. She just hoped that Jane was strong enough.
"It will be okay…"Ryan whispered into Carly's ear. "Everything will work out…after all, it's only love."
Carly looked down at the smiling face of her girlfriend, who had the uncanny knack of always knowing what she was thinking. Looking into the bright green eyes she had come to love so much, she nodded in response. Grabbing Ryan's hand fully in her own, she laced their fingers together, holding tightly. "Thanks for loving me." Carly said quietly.
"Anytime…" Ryan quipped, smiling so her nose crinkled in that cute way that had Carly melting in the palm of her hand.
As the innings slipped past them, Maura was surprised when the game finally came to an end. She was so lost in the comfortable position she was in, leaning against Jane, she almost didn't realize it was over until she felt Jane move away from her. Just as she was about to protest, she heard both Jane and Ryan mumbling things like 'Can't believe it…lost again…5 to 8…'
"So, um…I guess I'll see you at Thanksgiving…" Jane said as Carly slipped past her towards the aisle to leave.
"Yeah…" Carly awkwardly shifted her feet as she shoved her hands deep in the pockets of her jeans.
"You gonna bring Ryan this time?" Jane asked.
"Nah…not this time..." Carly sighed, shrugging her shoulders in a defeated way.
Jane cocked her head to the side, quietly studying her cousin. She was trying to read the unspoken words in the light blue eyes that silently pleaded with her to understand. With a curt nod, Jane gave her an awkward smile. "It was nice to meet you Ryan."
"Same here…and you too Maura..." Ryan gave a small wave goodbye as she felt Carly's hand against the small of her back giving her a gentle push.
"Bye guys…" Carly said as she followed Ryan.
Watching the two women walk away, Jane suddenly felt like she wasn't alone. She realized that maybe she wasn't the only Rizzoli who had a soft spot for petite blondes. Now the only problem was convincing herself that Maura felt the same way.
"I think I want to pick what we do tomorrow." Maura leaned her head back and looked up at Jane who was reclining back against the arm of the couch, her hand casually draped over Maura's shoulder.
"What are you talking about?" Jane was focused on the basketball game on the TV.
"I just thought that I would like to share some my favorite things with you."
"I already know what your favorite things are Maura. Reading, studying, listening to classical music…" Jane rattled off. "Plus we do plenty of stuff you like."
"Really Jane? Red Sox games, ice skating, bowling, rock concerts…not my favorite things." Maura frowned.
"Come on, that was Nirvana!" Jane sat up straighter.
"My ears rang for a week, not to mention I didn't realize they were guys until halfway through the show." Maura let out an exasperated sigh.
"Yeah…awesome wasn't it?" Jane gave a chuckle.
"Not really Jane. I thought I might have had permanent hearing loss due to that awful show."
"It's not a real rock concert unless you can't hear for a week after." Jane smirked causing Maura to glare up at her. "Okay, okay. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, we'll do it."
"No complaining…" Maura said.
"No complaining." Jane huffed. "Just please don't make me go to the ballet…I just don't think I could handle it."
"Don't be silly Jane. The ballet isn't in town this month." Maura reached up so Jane could help pull her up off of the floor where she was sitting. Jane rolled her eyes, but helped Maura to her feet. Maura stood right in front of the TV causing Jane to throw her hands up in the air.
"Maur…you're blocking the game." Jane whined.
"I'll see you tomorrow at eleven." Maura said as she stood her ground not moving an inch. "And wear something comfortable, but not ripped jeans." She gave Jane a stern look.
"Alright, alright..." Jane tried not to smile because she wanted Maura to think she was annoyed with her.
"And don't give me that ' I'm trying to act like I'm annoyed with you' look ." A smile played across Maura's lips as she tried to give Jane her best eye roll.
Jane crossed her arms and pouted. "I am annoyed with you."
"No you're not." Maura said over her shoulder as she headed towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Jane watched Maura leave then let out a loud sigh.
"What's wrong dear?" Angela asked from the door way. "Was that Maura who just left?"
"Yeah it was and nothin's wrong." Jane huffed.
"I know you Jeanie."
"Okay, okay… Maura wants to pick what we're gonna do tomorrow." Jane sighed again.
"And this bothers you…why?"
"I don't know…"
"I do…" Mrs. Rizzoli gave Jane a small smile.
Jane looked at her expectantly. "Well?"
"You like to be in control Janie. Face it, you're not a follower. You never have been."
Jane rolled her eyes. "And here I was just thinking I didn't want to anything too boring."
"Come on honey, just enjoy the day. I think Maura has been more than obliging by following you around and always doing what you want. Give her one day…it's not too much to ask for." Mrs. Rizzoli crossed her arms. She wasn't sure why, but she felt the need to defend Maura. She had watched over the last few weeks as Jane dragged Maura all around town and never once had Maura complained about being taken out of her comfort zone.
"You're right Ma. What could go wrong?" Jane threw her hands up in defeat her words laced with sarcasm.
"Nothing, as long as you remember this is Maura we're talking about." Mrs. Rizzoli said with a laugh.
"Thanks Ma." Jane jumped up off the couch and headed upstairs.
"Hey, the games not over yet, where are you going?"
"I'm not in the mood anymore. I need to figure out what I'm going to wear. Maura said no ripped jeans." Jane said pointing to her pants and the holes that exposed her knees.
Mrs. Rizzoli shook her head as she dried her hands on a dish towel. "Honestly Jane…sometimes I just don't know about you."
"Aw…but you still love me…" Jane quipped over her shoulder as she sprinted up the stairs to her room.
"And no matter what, I always will…" Angela sighed quietly so Jane couldn't hear.
Maura waited patiently in the car for Jane. When Jane finally flew out of the front door, as Jane usually does, Maura was pleasantly surprised. Jane was wearing a pair of black jeans with a black turtle neck and a gray sweater. Of course she was wearing her trademark white converse high tops and that made Maura smile. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that swung to and fro as she bounded down the stairs towards the car.
As Jane slid into the passenger's seat next to her, Maura was awestruck and it showed on her face. Her eyes raked over Jane's fit form, causing her cheeks to color with a flush from the thoughts that were crossing her mind at the moment.
"I take it by the look on your face that you approve of what I'm wearing." Jane winked at Maura.
Maura blinked a few times and swallowed hard. "Um… yes. You look great." She couldn't help touching her face to see if her cheeks were as hot as they felt.
"Well, you said no ripped jeans." Jane said with a grin. "So, what adventures do you have planned for us today?"
Maura felt that flutter in her stomach again. She tried to clear her mind of the thoughts she was having about Jane at the moment. Why did she feel like she was taking Jane on some sort of date? She had painstaking planned the day out so that Jane wouldn't get bored; taking into consideration that she also wanted the day to be special.
"Well, I packed us a lunch. I thought we could start at the Arnold Arboretum at Harvard University." Maura said cautiously, hoping that Jane was okay with that.
"Arboretum? Sounds boring…" Jane huffed.
"It's where the botanical gardens are."
"Botanical gardens…like plants and flowers?"
"Yes, plants and flowers among other things." Maura said with a smile.
"Okay, not bad. That sounds interesting." Jane gave Maura her best smile, dimples on full display. "What did you pack for lunch though? Not a bunch of healthy crap I hope."
"You'll just have to wait and see." Maura started the car and gave a smirk that made Jane laugh.
"You've almost got it…"
"Well, I've learned from the best." Maura laughed.
"I guess you can add sarcasm to that list of languages you speak." Jane said buckling her seat belt. "At least you've got the smirk down…"
"I'm not sure I will ever be as fluent as you."
"Well, I've had years of practice..." Jane gave a triumphant smile.
"All right, let the fun begin." Maura said as they drove away
"Okay…so what am I looking at?" Jane leaned over the railing and stared at the tall tree in front of her.
" Tsuga chenensis."
" Okay…don't know what that is." Jane tilted her head as if it might help her understand better.
"It's a Chinese hemlock." Maura laughed.
"Really Maur…you couldn't have just said that to begin with?" Jane sounded exasperated as she pushed away from the railing.
"Come on…" Maura grabbed Jane's arm and pulled her a small clearing cover in lush green grass. "Let's find a place to have our lunch."
"I swear, if there's nothing but rabbit food in there…I'm gonna be pissed." Jane huffed, crossing her arms like Tommy.
"You said you wouldn't whine Jane."
"I'm not whining…" Jane stopped when she saw the look Maura was giving her. "Much."
"Don't worry; your mom kind of helped me with the lunch."
"Really?" Jane sounded hopeful.
"Yes, she made your favorite…" Maura stopped at a partially shaded area on the grass and opened the bag. Pulling out a blanket, she spread it near a tree before kneeling down. "Peanut butter and fluff for you." She handed Jane a sandwich in a bag. "And a nice salad for me."
Jane took the sandwich and sat down across from Maura. She had a big smile on her face as she took the first bite. "Yum…," she sighed as she chewed.
Maura shook her head. "I don't know how you stay so thin eating stuff like that. I've gained 2.5 pounds since I've started hanging out with you."
"Really…what must you weigh…102 pounds soaking wet?" Jane said in between bites.
"No…I weigh 106.5 pounds thank you very much."
"And let me guess, you're drinking water instead of soda."
"Soda is bad for your teeth." Maura grumbled as she looked down at her salad. She was determined not to have the same argument about the evils of soda, especially today.
"So, what's next?" Jane took another bite and reached into the bag to find something else to eat. She pulled out a bag of chips as she moved to sit closer to Maura.
"I was thinking about the Harvard Art museum here." Maura watched as Jane shoved a handful of potato chips in her mouth.
"Mufhf dhs dhlon?" Jane said
"Jane, you really shouldn't talk with your mouth full." Maura chastised.
"Sorry," Jane said after she swallowed. "The art museum, huh?"
"Well, my mother is a professor here and some of her work is featured. I thought it would be nice to share it with you." Maura looked reluctant to continue.
"What?" Jane raised her eyebrows. "Do I have potato chips all over my face?"
"No. It's just that my mother asked if I would bring you over for dinner tonight so she could meet you. I hope that is alright." Maura looked worried.
"Sure…why wouldn't it be?" Jane lay back on her elbows as she took her last handful of potato chips before shoving the handful into her mouth. Rubbing her hands together to rid herself of the crumbs, she shifted until she could put her head against Maura's crossed legs. She looked up at Maura, her eyebrow raised as if asking for permission. At Maura's nod of consent, she moved until her head was fully in Maura' lap.
"Um," Maura paused. "My mother can be a little formal sometimes."
"So?" Jane sighed as she settled comfortably.
"So…," Maura nervously bit her bottom lip and had that worried look on her face that made Jane weary.
"Sometimes she comes across as being kind of…I don't know what word I'm looking for is…" Maura stammered.
"What? Maura Isles at a loss for words?" Jane tried to tease.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that she isn't warm and fuzzy like your mom."
"I could do with a little less warm and fuzzy." Jane laughed. "Really Maura, it's okay. I'd love to meet you mom." Jane said trying to reassure Maura.
"I don't want you to think she's a bad person or anything…it's just that she's not around much. Don't get me wrong, I love her very much, but I don't really know her well. I'm sure she will have a lot of questions for you and I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Maura rambled on nervously.
"Come on, it couldn't be any worse than having a front row seat at the Rizzoli family circus."
"I love spending time with your family." Maura said with a laugh. "I like warm and fuzzy."
"Well, you'll get plenty of that around us." Jane responded with a smirk.
"I really enjoyed meeting your cousin Carly…and her friend Ryan." Maura said tentatively, not sure if she should say anything else.
"Uh huh…" Jane closed her eyes as she relaxed into the warmth of the late afternoon sun as it touched her cheek.
"She reminds me a lot of you…" Maura decided to venture forward.
"Uh huh…" Jane sighed before the words sank into her half aware conscious. "What?" she pushed up onto her elbows to see Maura better.
"You look alike. It stands to reason…you are related to each other." Maura tried to defend herself as she gently pushed Jane back down so her head continued to rest comfortably in Maura's lap.
"Oh…" Jane mumbled as she let Maura push her back down. She settled again against Maura, but she didn't immediately relax. "I think that Carly and Ryan are together…" Jane wasn't sure she had said that out loud until she heard Maura's voice above her.
"And that bothers you… why?" Maura's voice was soft and soothing as her fingers began to run through Jane's long dark hair, gently brushing it away from her forehead. "For what it's worth…I like Ryan." Maura continued to let her fingers glide through Jane's silky strands.
"Yeah…I do too." Jane let herself relax under Maura's touch, but guilt stirred in the back of her mind.
"Does it bother you Jane…?" Maura paused to study Jane's face as she looked up at her with worried eyes.
Averting the serious gaze Maura was now directing at her, Jane shrugged her shoulders before looking away. Her movement was stopped by Maura who was now holding Jane's chin with two fingers, guiding her back so they could look at each other. With a small smile, Maura let her fingertips explore the soft skin she was now touching as she traced Jane's strong jaw.
Jane didn't move or dare breathe, afraid to break the spell Maura seemed to be under as she continued to touch Jane with a gentleness that brought tears to both of their eyes. Jane lay perfectly still under Maura's exploring eyes and fingers. She was afraid to look at Maura, afraid of what she would see reflected back at her, so she closed her eyes, allowing herself to sink into Maura's touch.
"You know…I've always thought these were my favorite…but…" Maura brushed her fingertips over Jane's cheeks, causing Jane to smile, showing off her deep set dimples. "But this…" Maura's fingers moved down to the deep cleft in Jane's chin. "I've just noticed how prominent it is…" She traced the dip with her index finger before allowing it to rest there. She waited for Jane to open her eyes. "You are a devastatingly handsome woman Jane…dare I say, absolutely gorgeous…" Maura's words were softly spoken as she stared into the dark depths of Jane's brown eyes. A kaleidoscope of brown and gold looked back at her and for the first time Maura could actually see the love she felt reflected back at her.
So much was said in those few seconds that Maura looked into Jane's unguarded eyes, but just a quickly, Jane's guard went up.
"I'm afraid for Carly…" Jane's voice was barely a whisper as she grabbed Maura's wrist with both of her hands just before Maura's thumb could trace Jane's bottom lip.
Maura tried to pull back, afraid she had pushed Jane too far, but Jane held the smaller wrist in her trembling hands.
"I think we want the same things Maur…" Jane's voice quivered with fear and longing. "But I just don't know if I can…" her voice trailed off.
Maura watched Jane as a tear slipped out of the corner of her eye, trailing down her cheek. Without hesitation, she gently wiped the tear away with her other hand before placing a chaste kiss on Jane's forehead. "We'll figure it out Jane…together." She said against Jane's warm skin before pulling back.
Blinking back the other tears that threatened to fall, Jane let out a sad sigh. She wanted nothing more than to follow her heart, to let Maura in. As she lay there, holding Maura's hand tightly in her own and feeling the tender kiss on her forehead, she realized she didn't have a problem with Carly and Ryan. In fact she envied her cousin. Jane couldn't help but wonder how easily she could find her home in Maura. Would she gain acceptance from her family or would she have to keep Maura hidden away, never allowing herself the joy of sharing her family traditions. Would she forever fear that someone might see too much in their innocent touches or the way they might look at each other, unguarded and full of love? Could she live a life where she would have to forever curb her desire to kiss Maura in front of people, to hug her, to show her how much she loved her? What pained Jane the most was that she didn't want to hide how much she loved Maura, she wanted everyone to know; she wanted to share it with the world. She wanted her family to be happy for her, but deep down she knew it would never happen that way. As these questions ran through her mind, Jane started to pull away from Maura.
Maura watched as Jane's brow furrowed as she drifted away in deep thought. Afraid Jane was going to drift too far away, Maura gave Jane's hand a gentle squeeze. "Come on…let's see what's for desert. I've been told that desert makes everything better…" she said with a crooked grin.
Watching as a small smile played across Maura's lips, Jane suddenly felt safe letting go of Maura's hand before diving back into the bag. "Yes, let's see what's for desert?"