A/N:
Again, apologies for the delayed update and for the mistakes you'd find in this chapter. Thank you to everyone who had favourite and followed this story, I heart you guys so much!
I don't own the characters, I still wish I did.
8
Alex was never used to waking up before Piper. Usually, it would be the blonde who'd wake up first, sometimes leaving her alone to sleep, but sometimes waking her up with little kisses or any sweet gestures either because she couldn't wait for her to be up or she just really wanted to piss her off knowing she hated waking up really early. But the best time Piper woke Alex up was probably that time the raven-haired woke up panting and moaning with Piper's head between her legs.
That's why it was a pleasant surprise when Alex woke up finding Piper still tucked against her body. The blonde's head was at the crook of her neck, her hair just on the right place for Alex to smell its beautiful scent, her body was almost on top of hers with her arm draped possessively around Alex's waist. They were both naked, only wrapped in each other and a comfortable blanket.
Alex should have found this position uncomfortable, since her left arm was already numb under Piper's weight but instead she found herself smiling waking up to this. She couldn't see Piper's face but she could feel her breathe against her neck and she couldn't help but wonder why she had wasted a lot of time not waking up before Piper to see her in this state. Not wanting to wake the blonde up, Alex kept herself from moving too much, except for her right arm which pulled Piper closer to her, resting on her back gently.
Since she couldn't do anything else, Alex just recalled everything she could from the previous night, which wasn't that much, really. Piper was wasted, very much so, being drunk and high at the same time and the entertainment Alex, and most especially Nicky, found in this could last them an entire lifetime. She chuckled softly at the memory of Piper dancing around her uncomfortable best friend until they were both dancing together like idiots, even getting the attention of everyone in close proximity. But the laughter went away as soon as it came when she remembered how they had gone from four normal crazy people, her, Piper, Nicky and Lorna, to the more fucked up, uninhibited version of themselves after they all took the X that Nicky handed them.
Alex was used to all of that. She had imported drugs all over the world for so many years for her to be able to steer clear from it. She would use every now and then but only if her job really needed her to. She hated the effects that drug caused. She loved having control over everything and drugs would take that away from her so she never really patronized it.
But her drug use had become worse when her mom died. It became her way to escape from the agonizing pain of her mother's death. Still, it was never out of control, she would always know when to stop, when it was becoming close to too much. She only stopped when she realized how disappointed Diane would be at her knowing that she was using. So from then on, she never used again, no matter how much her job needed for her to do it.
And then Ashley died, in the worst way possible and she would constantly find herself itching to take one, because she knew it was her only way to forget how much she fucked up, and how much it hurt. She almost did, again. But the thought of now two people who would be disappointed if she ever did that to herself stopped her. So she decided to resort to alcohol, lots of them. She knew it was just as pathetic but it wasn't as bad as drugs and she badly needed something, anything, or she was going to break.
So she tried racking her brain for why she had allowed herself to take drugs last night, and even worse, giving Piper one, when she had spent so many years avoiding it. Did she take it because the alcohol wasn't enough anymore? Or was it because she was not in her right state of her mind to remember that she was supposed to not take one? Or was she just having so much fun and it would only be a one-time thing, and there really was no harm done?
Alex was so deep in her thoughts that she had not noticed Piper move so she was a bit surprised when she suddenly spoke. "Fuck me," she mumbled to Alex's neck.
"Uhm, Pipes I would love to but haven't you had enough last night?" Alex chuckled.
"Ugh, shut up!" Piper groaned, pulling herself away from Alex as she rubbed her hands all over her place. "Fuck, my head hurts." Alex propped herself up on her elbow to take a better look at Piper, who was obviously having the worst hangover of her life. "Stop. Moving! My head's fucking spinning."
Alex laughed at Piper's temper which, she just realized last night, was worse than she would have ever thought of the blonde. When they were at the bar, one guy, who clearly had no idea that she was with someone and the more important fact that she was gay, kept hitting on her. Alex tried to ignore him, seeing that he was drunk, too. But Piper who had witnessed the whole thing went into full-monster mode and introduced the guy to her fist. Thankfully, Piper was too drunk to punch properly that she didn't do much damage to the guy's face, and especially her fist.
"Alex, I'm dying," Piper exclaimed dramatically, still with her hands all over her face.
Alex expected this from Piper knowing she was a lightweight. What she wasn't sure was how intense the hangover was going to be, but looking at Piper now, she knew it was bad. "I hope you're not, because I don't want to have a dead woman on my bed."
"This is my bed, asshole."
Since she woke up, Alex was too preoccupied with the blonde in her arms and her thoughts from last night that she did not notice that she was actually inside Piper's room and not her own. She chuckled and shook her head, feeling a bit stupid. "Shit, you're right. How could I have not noticed?" She then kissed the top of Piper's head before she sat up. "Anyway, do you still need me to fuck you?" she asked, wanting to piss Piper even more.
Piper finally took her hands off her face and gave Alex a glare that could kill an entire generation of family. "Seriously, do you want me to kill you? Coz I'd do it." Alex's laughter resonated inside the room which made Piper wince. "Ugh, you're too fucking loud."
Alex opened her mouth, with a mock hurt on her face. "You know what, I don't like you like this," she said squinting her eyes at Piper, but still with a smile etched on her lips, before she put her legs off the bed and started getting up.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to look for something that can kill that monster inside you. Hang on." Alex put on some clothes before going to her medicine cabinet to take two pills of aspirin and then went to get a glass of water. When she got back to Piper, the blonde had already sat up, her head against the headboard with her eyes closed. "Here."
"Thanks," Piper mumbled as she took in both the aspirins. Alex took the glass of water back and eyed Piper intently. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Alex took a few seconds before she responded. "I'm sorry about last night, kid."
"For what?" Piper asked, confusion on her face.
Alex wanted to tell Piper what was on her mind. She wanted to apologize for letting her drink even if she knew she was already too wasted, for letting her get high, for letting her take the drugs. But she knew that voicing it out loud would make her feel so much worse and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that kind of guilt. She was already carrying too much of that. So instead, she shook her head and shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing."
But Piper already knew her enough to know that it wasn't just nothing. "Alex, what is it?"
Alex just stayed quiet, silently cursing herself for opening her damn mouth and backing away.
"You do realize that I'm a grown up, and wouldn't have done anything I knew I wouldn't be able to handle, right?" the blonde then added, giving Alex a knowing look. She knew what Alex was saying sorry for, she could see the guilt in her eyes. But she wanted to hear her say it, only so Piper could tell Alex straight up that she didn't do anything wrong, that she didn't force her to do all that, and that they were all Piper's choices. "Alex, I'm okay. Well apart from this fucking hangover, I really am," she looked Alex in the eye, wanting her to see the sincerity in her own. "Come here," Piper patted the bed and waited for Alex to sit beside her. When she did, Piper turned her body slightly so she was now facing the raven-haired. "I really had fun last night," she smiled, her mind going back to what felt like the best night she'd ever have in a long time.
"Yeah? Well, you don't seem to be having that much fun today," Alex offered her a hesitant smile.
Piper chuckled. "Eh, who cares? At least I have a reason to lie in bed all day." She turned serious when she noticed that Alex still looked a little apprehensive. Piper then brought her hand to cup the older girl's face before she leaned in and pressed a soft but long kiss on her lips. Her eyes met Alex's when she finally pulled away, "I meant it, okay? I had a great time and I don't regret a single thing."
And Alex finally smiled genuinely and at that time, Piper's look of sincerity and affection was all she needed to ignore the gnawing guilt on her chest.
-o-o-o-
True enough, Piper spent all day in bed. But it wasn't actually that bad, aside from her raging headache and annoying feeling of wanting to puke every damn hour, since everything she couldn't do, Alex did for her. She cooked her meals, she even fed her, she would hand her anything she needed because Alex knew standing up and walking were strenuous enough for her. She literally did everything for Piper and the blonde had a sudden selfish feeling of wanting to be like this all the time if only it meant Alex never leaving her side when she didn't need to.
Alex knew how even the slightest noise made Piper's head ache so whenever she would join Piper on the bed, both of them seated against the bed's headboard, she would just keep quiet, brushing her fingers on the blonde's hair, kissing her head ever now and then. At one point, Alex fell asleep and Piper just spent the whole time watching her and studying her face, thanking any responsible god out there for bringing this woman into her life. Before, she would be cringing at the thought of relying on someone so badly, but now, she actually loved it because she knew that Alex genuinely wanted to do all of those things for her. She felt that Alex really cared and it was all the difference she needed in the world.
Piper then dozed off after a short while of staring at Alex, her head resting on Alex's shoulder. They spent a good amount of time just tangled together, sleeping peacefully until Piper woke up, already lying on the bed, without Alex on her side. Thankfully, Piper already felt better, finally able to stand up and walk without feeling like her surroundings were spinning. She went to her bathroom and took a shower for the second time that day, the first time being this morning when Alex almost dragged her just so she could shower and feel even just slightly better.
When she went out of her room, she could hear the soft music coming out of her stereo, Tegan and Sara's You Wouldn't Like Me playing on the background. She then found Alex with her back on her, obviously preparing dinner, her head bobbing up and down slightly. Alex's hair was up, with a number of hair strands falling on her back. She was wearing her favourite Bourbon shirt with her black boxer shorts.
Sometimes, Piper could feel Alex lose her care-free attitude when she's with Piper, she would start putting up a wall, not only between them but also over the two of them against the rest of the world. The latter, Piper was okay with, since she didn't really care if she was cut off from the rest of the world as long as she's going to be cut off with Alex on her side. But when the wall was already between her and Alex, she couldn't help but feel a little helpless because she didn't know how to break the damn wall to be able to reach her.
She knew what Alex was trying to do. She was trying to act all tough and invincible because she thought that it was what Piper needed. Alex's protectiveness over Piper was radiating off from all over her body and Piper was grateful for that but sometimes, Alex needed protection, too. And Piper wanted to give her that as well, but Alex would barely allow Piper to do that for her.
That's why Piper decided to stay quiet, wanting to take in this look of Alex, stripped of her strong, protective facade. She wanted to see Alex just being herself without thinking that there was someone who needed her to be a little tougher because right now, Piper liked seeing her a little less out of control.
After a short while of staring without Alex's knowledge, Piper slowly made her way towards the raven-haired, and then put her hands on her shoulder gently. Alex looked behind her a little surprised but managed to smile as soon as her eyes met Piper's. "Hey, you're alive."
"Yes, I am," Piper responded, sliding her hands downwards until her arms had snaked around Alex's waist, her hands meeting just right on Alex's stomach. She rested her chin on Alex's shoulder, as she pressed her lips softly on her jaw. "Thank you for taking care of me today," she added, softly, her arms wounding more tightly around Alex.
Alex smiled, and put her hands over Piper's, squeezing them lightly. "Anything for you, kid." They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the peacefulness that they were now aware they brought to each other. Piper took in Alex's scent, her now favourite smell in the world and Alex was leaning against her body slightly. After a while, Alex then turned around, copying Piper's position as she, too, had wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist. She didn't say anything else, she only looked at Piper intensely, causing Piper to raise an eyebrow at her.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, aware of the heat on her cheeks under Alex's gaze.
"Who doesn't like to stare at beautiful sights?"
"I knew it," Piper said, her smile widening at Alex's words.
"Knew what?"
"That deep inside that tough exterior of yours, you're hiding the cheesy Alex Vause you hate for everyone to see."
"Na-uh. Not cheesy," Alex said, shaking her head.
"Yeah, you are. Don't worry," she said as she pressed a kiss on Alex's cheek, "...I like it." Her lips then travelled sideward, until she was kissing Alex's earlobe, causing the taller girl to moan slightly. "Have I also mentioned that I really, really, really like you?" she whispered on Alex's ear.
"Yeah," Alex responded shakily, her voice evidently lower, "I think you've mentioned it before."
Piper was now looking at Alex, and she almost melted at the look Alex gave her back. It was so full of affection that Piper had never had thrown at her way before Alex, and it was beautiful, achingly so. And she didn't how or why but something had finally clicked.
It was a feeling she was damn sure she had always been aware of but chose to ignore. It was something she didn't want to feel so soon especially after finding out about Alex's past because she knew then that this feeling wouldn't be easy for Alex to return to her. It was something that was so terrifyingly scary but also excruciatingly wonderful that she couldn't help but feel excited about the fact that she may just finally let herself open up to it.
And now, looking at Alex, she'd finally decided to come to terms with it. No matter what that meant for her. No matter how that would affect her and Alex's relationship. Piper's been running her whole damn life and maybe, just maybe, it was about time she stopped doing that. So with all the emotions she was feeling at that time, she pulled Alex to her face and kissed her like she's never kissed anyone before, her heart beating so rapidly with this new thing she had finally learned to accept.
Piper Chapman has fallen deeply and completely in love with Alex Vause.
-o-o-o-
Days turned into weeks and Piper found herself more and more at ease with her realization about having fallen in love with Alex. She wasn't sure how Alex was gonna react if she found out and she would constantly find herself on the verge of telling her about it. But her fear of pushing Alex away because of it always, always stopped her from doing so. So she let days pass by, keeping her feelings towards Alex like a secret that would potentially destroy the best thing she's ever had her entire life.
It had gotten to a point where Piper thought that keeping it from Alex for a while may have been a good idea. They hadn't been better. Often times, they would go out of town, Alex bringing her to places she's never been before. Sometimes they'd be with Nicky and Lorna, who were by now the two closest people to Piper next to Alex, and they would all just hang out until they were all wasted and too far gone to know what they were even doing.
It was one of the things that had become constant in Alex and Piper's relationship: the booze, the weed, the drugs. Both of them weren't talking about it. It just kept happening, every damn time and they would always refuse to give in to the thought that they shouldn't be doing it, that they should stop. But the escape that they always got whenever they would let the drugs consume them always won out whenever there was an internal struggle within them about what they thought they needed versus what they really needed.
So they just let it happen over and over again because after all and as far as they were both concerned, they were still in control.
-o-o-o-
When Piper got off from work, she immediately went straight to Alex's house. It had always been a routine for both of them, and it wasn't as hard for Piper to know where Alex was since she was rarely out of her house when she wasn't with Piper. Piper asked her once about finding a job but Alex just laughed it off, saying she'd worked for too damn long and she wasn't planning on doing anything else for a while, especially because she wasn't qualified to do anything else anyway. Add the fact that she's already earned enough that could last her two entire lifetimes and Alex was pretty sure she was okay doing nothing for now.
Piper slowly got inside Alex's house and wasn't surprised when she heard Nicky's booming laugh. Those two were almost as inseparable as her and Alex and it was one of the reasons why Nicky had become so close to Piper. Nicky, too, had grown to like Piper more than she ever thought she would. Nicky rarely showed she cared, but when she did, it was always directed to only four people: Red, Alex, Lorna and Piper.
"Admit it, Vause." Piper heard Nicky say.
"There's nothing to admit," answered Alex and Piper didn't know what had made her stop and listen to the conversation before she showed herself to the two.
"Oh come on! I see the way you look at her. You never look at another person if you don't feel anything."
"I do feel something, Nichols. I care about Piper, you know that. I would do anything for her."
Piper felt her heart swell at Alex's words and wanted to go to her and hug her right there and then.
"You know you feel something more than that, why don't you admit it to yourself?"
Piper waited for the answer, feeling like her heart was gonna explode out of her chest. She wanted to walk away, scared to know Alex's answer, but she also wanted to stay, wanting to know Alex's answer. So she waited. And it was the longest wait she's ever had to endure.
"I don't know, after Ashley... I don't... I don't think I'm capable of that kind of love again."
And before Piper even knew it, she was running away from Alex's house.
-o-o-o-
Piper slept that night out of exhaustion from crying. She knew Alex would be waiting for her at her home, that she would be calling her if she didn't come. But she ignored all of it. Tonight was going to be just like any other night before she's met Alex, Piper cut out from the rest of the world, Piper going through the pain until she was numb enough to feel anything at all.
She should've expected it. Alex thought she was fucked up. And in some sense, Piper could see that. What Alex went through was something that would never be easy to forget. It was something that could ruin one's life and Piper was aware that Alex was barely holding on so she would not succumb to that darkness that was constantly pulling at her, not letting Alex see that there was still something good left in her life.
If she was being honest, Piper really thought that she was enough, that her being there for Alex all the time was helping her get through it. It was one of the reasons why she didn't stop it when they were already drinking too much because she knew it was helping Alex forget. It was one of the reasons why she would always let Alex whenever she would give her the damn drugs because she didn't want her to think that she was alone in this. It was one of the reasons why she had let herself fall in love with her because she thought that it was going to be Alex's final escape from that terrible night that had been slowly ruining her every fucking second.
But she wasn't enough. She had never been for anyone before Alex. So why on earth would it be any different now?
"You're not worth it."
"That's not true."
"It is and you know it. It was true when you were a child and your brother left and never came back for you. It was true when your mother constantly chose her social status over you. It was true when your father cared for other people more than he cared for you. It had always been true."
"No, stop. You're lying to me. Go away, you're not real. Get the hell away from me!"
"Admit it Piper, even your own family couldn't love you. Now why the hell do you think that I would? I don't love you, Piper. I never will. I love Ashley, she will always be the only woman I'd ever love my whole life."
"Stop, please."
"And one day, you would just wake up and realize that you're all alone again. Because people always leave, Piper. I know it, and you do, too. They always leave anyone who's not worthy enough to stay for."
"NO!" Piper woke up panting, Alex's words at her still freshly etched on her mind. She was breathing raggedly and before she could stop it, her tears were dropping fast. Her dream felt so real and no matter how hard she shut her eyes so she could forget about it, Alex's face would always pop up, slowly killing her with those words that Piper only knew as the truth.
Suddenly, she could hear someone running outside her door and it was becoming nearer. Then the door swung open, and there stood an out-of-breathe Alex, looking so terrified it made Piper's heart ache. "Piper!" she ran towards her on the bed and reached for her face but Piper jolted away from her touch. Piper could see the confusion on Alex's face but it was quickly replaced by a look of worry. "Hey, I heard you screaming. What's wrong? What happened?"
"Nothing. I'm fine," Piper was still breathing heavily, and the fact that she was now seeing Alex in front of her was making things worse because all she could ever think of was the way she spit those words at her in her dream, like some venom that was never meant to kill but only to hurt to the point where you'd rather die than keep feeling it.
"You're not fine. Why didn't you come by my place? I was waiting for you. And I kept calling you but you weren't answering. Fuck, Piper, I was so worried."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was my obligation to do those things." Piper refused to look at Alex but she felt the raven-haired tense at her words.
"Pipes, that's not what I... I didn't mean it like that, okay? Just please, tell me what's going on, you're scaring me." Again, Alex tried to reach for Piper's face but the blonde stood up so quickly it almost threw Alex off balance. Piper looked terrified of her, and she felt the pang in her chest looking at Piper this way.
"You should go, Alex. It's late. I have work tomorrow."
"Not until you tell me what the hell's going on!"
"Nothing is!"
"Piper, we were okay a while ago. And then you suddenly don't come by my place, something you've always done for the all the past months we've known each other, and you don't answer my calls, something you've never done in all of those months. And now I hear you screaming, and I'm asking you what's going on but all I get is this cold treatment. What the fuck happened, Piper?!"
"You wanna know what happened?! I fucking fell in love with you, Alex, that's what happened! And you know what else? She happened. You and her happened." Piper felt her body weaken at the mention of her, someone who was gone by now but whose existence was always felt by Piper through Alex. So when she spoke again, it was so much softer, so much more pained, as if it was taking every ounce of her strength to say each of those words. "And I'm sorry. I know that I shouldn't be feeling this way. She's a huge part of your life, if not the most, and I am so mad at myself because right now, I fucking hate her." Piper knew it was selfish of her, but once the words came out of her, she couldn't stop them anymore. "Because I love you... so... so much, Alex. But it won't ever matter because it's her you love. It's always going to be her."
"That's... that's not—" Alex felt her body stiffen at Piper's words, and she wished she could say anything that would make more sense but she couldn't. And she knew it was making matters worse. It hurt her seeing Piper this way. It was like there was an iron fist squeezing at her chest, making it hard for her to breathe. She had never seen Piper look so broken. This was the look she swore to herself she would never allow for Piper to have. But she did it to her. Alex was breaking Piper and she felt her own heart break at the sight. "Piper, that's not true. I can—"
"Alex," Piper whispered and she sounded so defeated Alex thought she'd never hated herself more. "I just told you I love you. And you..." Piper choked back the sob that was threatening to come out of her mouth. "...and you didn't say it back..." Piper tried. She really did. But right at that moment, she couldn't stop the tears anymore. They were dropping one by one and it made everything so blurry she missed the same tears that flowed from Alex's own eyes. "You should leave," Piper softly added, looking down at her feet, scared to look at Alex.
"Piper..." Alex took one step forward, but Piper immediately took one back, that made Alex stop on her tracks.
"Please, just go."
"I'm not leaving you, Piper."
"People always leave, Alex. Everyone in my life before you, they all fucking did. What difference do you make, really?"
"I'm not them."
"Doesn't mean you're not the same."
"Pipes, please don't do this—"
"Don't. Just get out, Alex. Get the fuck out of my house and don't ever come back again."
And Piper gave Alex the look that she'd always been dreading to have from Piper since day one. That look that told Alex she was done and that she regretted having her in her life in the first place. That look that just proved Alex that she wasn't someone who should be associating with anyone. That look that confirmed the fact that Alex Vause was a life-ruiner and that she didn't deserve to be loved at all. Not now, and certainly not ever.
So when she's gotten this in her mind, it made walking away and not looking back so much easier. And when she closed the door behind her, one last dagger buried inside her was twisted like it meant to bleed her dry when she heard Piper's screams and cries, the sound of another victim of Alex's fucking hell for a life.
SHOUTOUTS:
izzielg, And thank you, as well, for reviewing! Haha, I got that same reaction from the other people who have seen the entire season. I think it's not bad in its entirety but there were some things that could have been better, maybe?But oh well, maybe season 4 will be better, especially for Vauseman. Let's just hope for that. And you're right! Lots of wonderful stories here, they keep me sane! =)
elliellie1, Thank you so much! I'm happy that you liked the previous chapter. And you'd find out about Piper's story soon, I promise. Thanks again!
Budda1127, Thank you for your review! I love it when you guys would go into details about what you think about the chapter that I posted. Piper's backstory will be coming soon, just finding it a little hard on how I'd go with it. Thanks for patiently waiting! Again, your review is one of my favourites and I love you for that! =))
TinyGuitarist, Awww, thank you! That means so much to me! Hopefully, you'd like this chapter, too! =)
vausegasm, OH MY GOD YOUR REVIEW IT'S AMAZING. Haha. That seriously lit up my face the entire time I was reading it, and even afterwards. I'm so glad you liked the smut. I heart you, too, woman! And thanks again, I missed reading your reviews as well. Sorry, this update took so long.
Joey2920, Thank goodness you weren't disappointed all the way! Haha. Thank you for your review and hopefully, you don't get disappointed with this chapter, too. Haha.
Phantomjazz, Hey, sorry about the delay and thank you for that PM you sent me. =) Here's the new chapter, I will try my best to post the next chapter as soon as I can.
moanzs, Thank you for your review, that was amazing. You've always been wonderful. Hope you like this one, too! =)
sara lance, Thank you! I've barely talked about their drug use in this chapter but they're gonna be explored further in later chapters. Talk to you in dm soon. Haha. =)
schillingarmy, Thank you, I'm glad you think so! =)) And take care as well, have an amazing day! Thank you for making me blush. Haha.
Guest (yay love this story), Aw, yay thank you! Love you! =))
xunconsciousx, Oh my gosh, you don't know how much you calling this your "favourite" made my day! It means a lot coz I know how many awesome fan fics are in this site so thank you, really, you're an angel. =) And I hope you get some free time soon. So you can read this without guilt haha. Thanks again! =)
Guest (can't wait), Thank you for your review! Here's the new chapter now, and so sorry you're gonna have to wait a while after this again haha.
Mamazingvauseman, Thanks girl! I'm seriously so in-love with you on the other hand lol. Here's a new chapter hope you like it =)
Marijn, Hi, girl! Yeah , it does feel like such a long time ago! I'm glad you're having a great time and congrats on your summer break. Lol. I just got a three-week break, too! So I'm going to try to enjoy it as much as you do. Wow, med school! Good luck, girl! I know you'll do great =)) I'm doing great, reading your reviews makes my heart swell. :") Your review is amazing. Thank you for pointing out the lil details of the previous chapter, it makes your review so much more special. So thank you! And you're right, we should really start talking through dm, I will send you one now. Haha. Hugs and kisses right back at you, girl!
haleynicole37, I hope you've reached this chapter so you can read my message for you. Haha. Thank you for the reviews you left! They help in motivating me to write more. So thanks again! =)
Guest (who loves me for updating), Aww, and I love you for reviewing! And I also love that you loved the previous chapter, I can't thank you enough! And yes, I will explore the pills thing further lol. Thanks again! =)
I3VauseMan, Hi there! I hope we're on the same page now? Haha. Anyway, life just gave me a breather and I now have a three-week break so hopefully I can use this time to write more =)) Thank you! I'm glad you think so, I try to get into their relationship a little further and at the same time explore them as individuals. And as for the bathroom scene, thank god you think it's hot lol. It was hard for me to write that. The drugs thing will be explored even further though I hope you'll still stick with this. I listened to the song you mentioned (Heroes by David Bowie) it's amazing! I like to associate what I write with music, too. Again, thank you for your review!
jo michael, Oh my gosh, that is so sweet! =) Sorry updates are taking so long. But hey, here's the good news! I get a three-week break so maybe I can update a little faster now. Haha. And also, you don't need to worry. I have no plans of abandoning this fic (unless of course it's already a life-or-death situation haha). Yeah, it'll probably rock getting high with Vauseman hahaha. And yeah, I had to add some things that are from the show itself so Lorna had to be getting married. I hope I can explore on her story with Nicky, too. Your super long review is making me want to jump up and down out of joy, it's really so kind of you. =)) And yeah, I missed you, too! I'm glad you're having a great time. Until next time, my friend =)
FFChik, Thank you so much! =)
ArabianKnights, Thank you! Glad you liked the previous chapter! Oh, that's great, hope you like this update. =)
Vausemaniac, Ooooh, I'm glad I finally have something I can call you. Haha. Aww, you're welcome! And also, thank you for your review. Yes, probably X or some other stuff. I'm going to be honest, I know very little regarding these things but I will try hard to be as accurate as possible =) Thank you about your review about the smut. I'm very insecure when it comes to writing that kind because I really don't think I'm doing it very well so your review really helps a lot, thanks! =)
Marauder-Lu, Thank you! And yes, I will definitely explore on that =)