Blaire

I continue to frown at Daryl as he goes back to work on his motorcycle. It's like everyone is so scared Rick will snap that they're just avoiding all confrontation. Daryl wants to be out looking for people and he needed to tell Rick. Although it looks more and more like Rick will soon be in charge of Alexandria, he isn't yet. Deanna still gets to make the decisions. Daryl should have told Rick that he would follow whatever Deanna and Aaron want to do. Mainly, I feel bad because I know what it's like to be stuck in a cage. The walls surrounding Alexandria act as Daryl's cage. He needs to have an excuse to get out every once in a while.

"What? You upset with me?" Daryl questions, coming to sit on the curb next to me.

"No. I just think you should've stood up for how you felt." I answer back.

"Would you have?"

I shrug, "It isn't like Rick has a gun anymore. What's the worst he could have done? Gotten upset with you? Threatened you? You're stronger than him, Daryl. His judgment is clouded with anger and distrust. You need to show him that, because Lord knows if he's going to listen to anyone, it'd be you."

Daryl blinks back at me as if he doesn't quiet believe the words that have just come out of my mouth. I might not have been right on everything I initially thought about Daryl, but one thing is true; Daryl has no idea how strong he is or how much influence he could have on this group. Instead, he just hides in the background, silently observing everyone else. That's not what this community needs right now.

"Michonne…" Daryl starts, but I cut him off, not in the mood for excuses.

"Sure, I guess, but she's got Carl and Judith to think about. She needs to keep everyone else from falling off the edge. She can't handle everyone else and Rick. Rick is your responsibility, Daryl, whether you like it or not."

Daryl stands, once again using his arms as a barrier between himself and my words. If he wants to get upset with me and yell again, so be it. Carol told me he would be a challenge and I promised her that I wouldn't back down. Although I'm sure he should, Daryl doesn't intimidate me. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, smart – ass."

"Do I not know or do you just not want to admit that I'm right?" I question back, getting to my feet.

The corners of Daryl's lips turn up for a split second before his face falls back into its normal, stony expression, "Maybe."

I smirk back, turning the bike key in the ignition, "Come on. I want to get out of here for a little." When Daryl makes no move to get on, I throw my leg over the motorcycle. "If you don't come I'll go by myself."

Daryl shoves the rag he's been holding back into his pocket, motioning for me to scoot back so he can drive. "Do ya even know how to drive one of these?"

Wrapping my arms around Daryl's chest, I nod, "I'm offended that you would even ask that question."

"Hold on, smart-ass."

Daryl drives until we reach the same field where I learned to shoot the crossbow. Together we walk out to the pond I had fallen into, both of us sitting down by the edge. I pick up a few pebbles, throwing them into the still water. For a long time the two of us stay quiet, enjoying the sounds of the nature surrounding us.

"Do ya feel trapped too?" Daryl finally questions.

"I guess. Even though I've been offered a permanent place in Alexandria I still feel like everyone is watching me. Sometimes, I just need to feel like I'm free." I answer back, turning to look at the man sitting next to me. "As surprising as this many seem, I didn't take a liking to people until all this shit happened."

Daryl grunts, the ghost of a smile playing across his face, "Where'd ya learn to ride motorcycles?"

"One of the guys my mom brought home rode them. I was sixteen as the time. He was one of the nice ones. He taught me how to ride and take care of them. Those two years were the most free and alive I ever felt." I answer back, lying down across the grass.

Daryl follows suit, his thumb grazing against my arm. He lifts it off the ground, tracing over a few of the scars that crisscross the skin there. "What happened? With the guy?"

I frown, fighting off the urge to pull my arm away. I don't want Daryl to ask about the scars there. Not all of them have a run in with the dead story to explain them. I'm not sure Daryl and I are close enough for me to tell him all about my troubled past just yet. "He had cancer. He proposed to my mom and she said yes. Then one day the hospital called and our happily ever after disappeared. It was probably for the better. He was a nice guy, trusting. He wouldn't have made it in this world."

"Ya ain't always gotta think about it like that. There 're a lotta people livin' now that ain't supposed to be makin' it in this world."

I turn my head so that I can look at Daryl, "It's the only way to think about things now. You know that just as well as I do. Everyone who is dead now had some kind of quality that worked against them: trust, compassion, curiosity – " As I try to go on I choke, a few tears spilling down my face. Daryl rolls onto his side, wiping them away with the same red rag he was using on his bike earlier.

"Don't think 'bout that stuff."

"Tell me about a happy memory you have after this whole thing started," I challenge.

For a while Daryl is quiet, tracing over a few of the more prominent scars that cover my arm. He's far away right now, his mind lost in a different time. I watch as he chews on his bottom lip. "Was at the prison. Merle just returned. He was tryin' to change. Tryin' to be a part of the group there. It was the first time since the beginning that I thought we could make it. Our group coulda made a life there. Rick was growin' food. We had some animals. Maggie 'n' Glenn coulda had a baby there. People were ready to settle down, to stop runnin' for a while. It was the first time I thought we all might make it outta this thing alive."

"Yeah, but that got screwed up too. Just like everything else in this world," I answer as Daryl trails off.

Daryl nods, picking at the skin of his thumb. Once again, his bottom lip disappears between his teeth. After a second he reaches forward, brushing his hand against mine before pulling it away. "Ya ain't gotta think about it like that. We can't. Not if we wanna survive."

As I blink back at him, my resolve crumbles and I'm reduced to a crying mess. Daryl sits up, scooting closer to me so that he can wrap one arm around my shoulder. I melt into his chest, my tears soaking through his shirt. We sit this way for a while, Daryl's fingers gently brushing over the exposed skin of my arm. This reminds me of the day on the bed.

"Are ya really doin' better or are ya just good at pretending? You ain't gotta to be over their deaths, you just gotta stop feelin' guilty about 'em."

I sniff, wiping my face off with the back of my hand before looking up at Daryl. His gaze is gentle, concerned. He genuinely cares. "Some days are better than others. What about you? Are you over the deaths or are you just good at pretending?"

Daryl's face falls, his eyes resting on the bracelet tied around his wrist, "I'm doin' what I gotta do."

I curl in closer to Daryl, my arms wrapping around his ribs. He lets me, his body only going stiff for a second before he relaxes, his cheek coming to rest on the top of my head. "Do you think it ever stops being a struggle? To forget? To stop thinking about what more you could have done? To forgive yourself?"

Daryl lets out a sigh, "I hope so."

Daryl

Blaire and I get back to Alexandria as the sun begins to set. We'd sat out in that field for hours, both lost in our own thoughts, arms wrapped around each other. Beth floated around the edges of my vision. She'd stayed quiet this time, no longer shouting about how I shouldn't be letting Blaire get this close to me. At one point I looked down at Blaire and saw Beth in her place. I'd almost wished for their places to be swapped. Blaire's question stays with me as we walk, hand in hand, up the streets of Alexandria towards Rick's house. The weight of Beth's death still sits heavy on my shoulders. I could have staid with her. I could have shot first. I could have tried harder to find her. I'm not sure it's ever going to stop hurting, if I'll ever stop feeling guilty.

Blaire makes pasta, smothering it in red sauce. We sit in front of the fire, batting Duchess away from our food as he tries to eat out of our bowls. As I settle down on the couch, Blaire reads aloud from a book she's been working through. I fall asleep to the sound of her voice and the crackling of the fire.

"You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon."

I jolt awake. Beth is sitting on the coffee table, her big blue eyes blinking down at me. Her soft pink lips are pulled into a frown as she slowly turns, her gaze shifting to Blaire. The brunette is curled up in the leather armchair set by the fireplace. Getting up, I take the big red blanket I'd used last night and lay it over her.

"Do you like her, Daryl?" Beth questions as I move to the front porch, pulling out my lighter to light the end of my cigarette.

"She's hurt, Beth."

"That wasn't the question."

"Maybe," I answer back with a sigh. "I don't know her well."

"She's making you forget."

I shake my head, trying to get the apparition to disappear. Beth takes up a spot on the porch railing, her eyes never leaving me. There's accusation in them. "Ain't true. You wouldn't be here if she was."

"I'm barely here! You ignore me when I am!" Beth lunges forward, getting in my face.

"You're dead. You ain't supposed to be here!"

"Who are you talking to?" Blaire appears in the doorway, wrapped in the red blanket I'd laid over her earlier. There is a cup of coffee held in her hand.

I shrug, holding out my cigarette packet to her. Blaire shakes her head, lowering herself into the chair next to me, pulling her knees up to her chest. She takes a few sips from her mug before offering it to me. Tossing my cigarette butt over the porch railing, I take the cup. We pass the coffee back and forth between us until its gone.

"It's okay to tell me, Daryl. I'm not going to think differently of you." Blaire says softly, gently reaching over and taking my hand.

Swallowing hard, I run my thumb over Blaire's knuckles. I could tell her. Blaire has been through loss before. She is gentle and patient and would probably understand. I don't think she'd run away. But, we'd never be the same. Blaire would always look at me differently. She'd always wonder if I was still struggling. "I'll tell ya. I just need some time."

Blaire smiles over at me, squeezing my hand a little, "The food storage is starting to run low. I was thinking about taking a trip to my old supply place to see what is left."

"You should run it past Rick 'n' Deanna first. With everythin' that's been goin' on they ain't gonna want you out by yourself."

"It isn't that I don't want to be a team player, but my life isn't Rick or Deanna's problem. I can handle myself out there, Daryl, but – " Blaire looks over at me, a mischievous look in her eyes – "if you're really that worried about me you can come along."

Before I can agree to accompany Blaire on her food run, Carol comes up the porch steps. She glances at Blaire and my connected hands, but says nothing about it. "Daryl, Rick needs all of us. Something about a quarry Morgan and him found this morning. Blaire, would you be able to look after Judith until I get back?"

Blaire nods, getting up out of her chair, "Let me just go change."

With that the brunette disappears inside of the house, the front door shutting behind her. I glance over at Carol, waiting for her to share more. Instead she takes the chair Blaire was just in, letting out a long sigh. "Do you want to talk about the hand holding?"

I shake my head, "Naw. It ain't nothin' important. She does better when I let her. Somethin' about keepin' her grounded."

"You're helping her, Daryl. She looks more alive when she's around you…happier." Carol answers, giving me a smile, as Blaire exists the house.

The three of us head up the street towards Rick's house. As Blaire turns to leave our group I call out to her, "I'll fill ya in on what we talk about on that supply run."

Blaire turns, a smile lighting up her face. "Okay."

"Supply run?" Carol questions as we head towards Maggie and Glenn's house at the front of the community. "That isn't either of your jobs."

"Blaire has a place she used to get stuff from. She wanted to check 'n' see how much was left. Thought she could bring it back for people here. Didn't think she should go alone, not with everythin' Aaron 'n' I saw out there."

Carol grins, raising an eyebrow "Is that the only reason?"

I shrug as we walk into Maggie and Glenn's house, "Maybe I like bein' around her. What's this meetin' about anyway?"

"I don't know anymore than what I told you at Blaire's."

Once everyone has gathered around the kitchen table, Rick stands, glancing over the group. "Morgan and I were out this morning. We came across a quarry. It's full of walkers. Now, there are semi-trucks blocking the entrances, but the ledges they're parked on look unstable. I wanted everyone here 'cause we have to decide what to do."

"We need to tell Deanna," Maggie says from her spot next to Glenn. "This could affect everyone in Alexandria. They should all have a say."

"That's an option."

"What other choices do we have?" Glenn questions.

"We could take care of it ourselves. Clear out a small section at a time," Rick responds.

"How many walkers are there?"

"Enough to be a threat. The herd in there could take down the walls if they all came this way at the same time," Morgan answers, stepping into the middle of the room from the corner he's been lurking in.

"Maybe a few of us could go out there for a second opinion," Carol suggests. She looks worried.

"That's not necessary." Rick jumps in. "Morgan and I saw the herd. It is a threat. That isn't what this meeting is about. We need to know what to do about it."

"Tell Deanna," half the group choruses.

I glance across the table at Carol. Rick is still unstable. If the herd is as big as Morgan described it, our small group won't be able to handle it. Letting a few of them out at a time might work, but depending on the layout of the quarry and the stability of the trucks that could get out of hand quickly.

"If it's as big a threat as yer sayin' we should get others to help." I voice before getting up. "If you ain't gonna tell her, I will. We can't keep tryin' to do stuff on our own. We need people."

Blaire

"So he really wanted to just try and handle it on his own?" I question after Daryl explains to me what Rick's meeting had been about.

Daryl nods, reaching over and taking Judith out of my lap. She smiles up at him, cooing as he runs his thumb over her cheek. I watch the two of them for a while. Daryl is good with Judith. He's patient and gentle, somewhat different from his usual tough persona. I wonder if he ever had a kid, but don't ask. We're doing better and I don't want to pester him to a point of him lashing out again. "Rick 'n' Maggie are with Deanna now. She'll probably hold a meetin' so everyone can talk about what we're gonna do."

"What do you think we should do?"

"If the threats as big as they're sayin' we gotta clear the quarry. I ain't seen it so I don't know."

I nod, letting out a sigh, "You'll follow whatever Rick thinks is best?"

Daryl looks over at me as he begins to bounce Judith up and down on his knees. She lets out a shrill giggle, "Rick is good at this kinda stuff. We'd all do well to listen to him. He'll have a plan. I don't agree with him always, but I will on this. He just wants everyone to be safe."

"Well, I'm in with whatever the plan is. If I don't get slotted with babysitting duty that is," I answer back with a laugh. Daryl knows Rick better than I do and if he trusts him with this so will I. Alexandria is my home now and the people here are becoming my family. I want them to be safe.

"She ain't that bad to sit with," Daryl responds, beaming down at Judith.

"Well then, you can stay with her and I'll go out and save the citizens of Alexandria."

I get a half smile and a look of concern. Daryl doesn't seem to like the idea of me going outside of the walls by myself. Although I've not figured out his motives behind this, it's nice to feel cared about.

"Blaire, Daryl, Deanna is having some kind of big meeting at her house; something about a threat to Alexandria. It seems pretty important. She wants everyone there." Tara huffs out as she comes to a stop in front of Rick's porch. Her chest heaves as if she ran to get here.

"What am I supposed to do with her?" I glance down at Judith who has shoved her fist into her mouth, drool running down her wrist.

Tara shrugs, "I don't know. Bring her."

Standing, I hoist Judith onto my hip, following Tara up the street towards Deanna's house. Daryl follows closely behind. The three of us enter through the front door, turning right into the living area. Rick's group is already there, sitting on the couch and various chairs that have been set up around the room. Daryl takes up a seat on the window seal. I sit down on the floor underneath the window. As more people file in, filling up the empty chairs and floor space, Rick begins to explain what Morgan and he saw while out earlier today. It's pretty much exactly what Daryl described earlier. There is a quarry right on the edge of the red zone full of the dead. The barricades put up aren't going to last much longer and once they fall that whole pit of walkers is going to be heading straight for Alexandria.

"My team, we saw it early on, back when we were on one of those first scouts, findin' out what was around here." a man named Heath says once Rick has finished his speech. "There was a camp at the bottom. The people, they must have blocked the exits with one of those trucks, back when everything started to go bad. They didn't make it. They were all roamers, maybe a dozen of them."

"No one's been back since?" Maggie questions from her spot next to Glenn on the couch.

Heath frowns, shaking his head, "DC, every town worth scavenging, is in the other direction. I never really felt like having a picnic next to the camp that ate itself."

"So all the while the walkers have been drawn by the sound and they're making more sound and they're drawing more in," Michonne explains.

Rick nods, beginning to walk everyone through his plan. He wants to move one of the trucks, killing off as many as we can before leading the rest of them about twenty miles or so away from Alexandria. This would require a group of about thirty individuals. While I understand there isn't any other option, the plan sounds shaky at best. There are a lot of moving parts. If one person slips up, if a few dead ones deviate from the path, we could lose the whole herd. Whoever agrees to help would need some kind of run through to ensure that it's even doable.

"Now, what I'm proposing, I know it sounds risky, but walkers are already slippin' through the exits. One of the trucks keeping the walkers in could go off the edge any day now; maybe after one more heavy rain. That exit sends them east, all of 'em, right at us. It's gonna happen. That's why we have to do this soon."

"This is, I don't even have another word for it, this is terrifying. All of it," Carol says from over by the door, her eyes scanning over everyone crammed into the living room. "But it doesn't sound like there's any other way."

"Maybe there is," a man says, stepping forward. "I mean, couldn't we just build up the weak spots? I could draw up plans. I worked on the wall with Reg. Construction crew, we can try and make it safe."

"And risk the lives of the people we're sending in there to construct this re-enforcement?" I question. "If there are as many dead ones as Rick and Morgan described it would be a death sentence to send anyone into that pit."

"Even if we could, the sound of those walkers is drawing more and more everyday. Building up the exits won't change that." Rick says quickly, avoiding any further conflict.

"We're doing what Rick says, the plan he's laid out," Deanna states. After Rick proved to be right about what should have happened with Pete, Deanna has been more willing to follow his lead. I think she sees now that he's just trying to do what is best for the people here.

"I told you all, we're gonna have Daryl leading them away," Rick continues on. This part of the plan seems ridiculous. Daryl can't be in charge of a whole herd. If something happens, if he crashes or dead ones start to leave the group he wont be able to do anything. I'd tried to bring this point up, but Daryl was quickly to grab my hand, shaking his head to silently tell me to hold my tongue.

"Me too," Sasha says, receiving a look from Daryl. "I'll take a car, ride next to him. Can't just be him. I'll keep 'em coming. Daryl keeps 'em from getting sloppy."

I smile over at the female, please that someone else is thinking like I am.

Abraham clears his throat, taking a step forward, "I'll go with her. It's a long way to white – knuckle it solo."

Rick nods, "We'll have two teams, one on each side of the forest helping with this thing. We're gonna have a few people on watch from now on; Rosita, Spencer, and Holly, so their out. Who's in?"

"Me." Michonne says almost instantly.

I shrug, "I don't see any other option. I'm in."

Daryl runs his knee into my shoulder, silently questioning me on my decision. I shrug back a response. These people are like my family now. I want to do what I can to help them out and make sure they all stay safe. If it means risking my own life so be it. I promised Patty that I wouldn't go down without a fight. This is about survival. We either do this or we risk getting overrun by the dead. Besides, since when did Daryl start caring what decisions I make?

"I'm in," Glenn announces.

Father Gabriel coughs, "I'd like to help too."

"No. Who else? We need more." Rick says, shooting Gabriel a glare. Everyone in Rick's group has been on bad terms with the priest since they discovered what he said to Deanna. I can't say I blame them. His comments could have gotten the whole group kicked out of Alexandria.

"There's got to be another play. We can't just control that many," the same man from earlier argues.

"I said it before," Rick responds sounding annoyed, "walkers herd up. They'll follow a path if something's drawing them. That's how we can get 'em all at once."

"So what? We're supposed to just take your word for it? We're all supposed to just fall I line behind you after –"

Rick cuts the man off, "After what?"

"After you wave a gun around, screaming, pointing it at people. After you shot a man in the face? After you –"

"Enough!" Deanna yells, causing everyone to go silent.

"I'll do it," A man standing in the hallway behind Carol states, getting everyone back on track.

Now is not the time to bicker amongst ourselves. Alexandria is at risk. We all need to ban together and save our home. We can figure out who should be in charge once everyone inside is safe from the current threat. For now, Rick is everyone's best option. He has a fairly solid plan and seems to be willing to risk his own life in order to save everyone elses'. In the current situation, that's about a much as you can ask from a leader.

"Me too." Another woman chimes in.

Tobin, a member of the building crew, nods, "Whatever you need. I'm in."

"Now, who else?" Deanna questions, her eyes traveling around the remaining individuals in the room.

"I'll go. We have to do this. I need to help." Nicholas steps up. I glare at him. He's the last person I'd want on my team. He obviously can't follow directions and is more concerned with saving his own skin than protecting everyone. He'll get someone else killed if he gets put on this project.

Rick turns to him, eyes narrowing, "You sure you can handle it?"

"You need people," Nicholas answers, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

Rick nods, glancing around, "We'll make this work. We'll keep this place safe, keep our families safe. We will."

The same male from earlier steps forward, his eyes narrow, arms across his chest, "The plan, go over it again."

Daryl sits up in the window ledge, going to stand up, "Man, he just said it."

I press my hand into Daryl's leg, urging him to stay seated. Once he's settled a little, I glance up at him. His temper is going to get him in trouble. We need to get these people to agree to work with us, not attack them.

The man, unfazed by Daryl's outburst, lays his eyes on Rick. "Every part, again. The exact plan."