Chapter 13: The Darkest Hour Before Dawn

It has been two weeks since Soi Fong woke up from her coma. The first black out she had startled Yoruichi so badly that she didn't want to let her out of the sick room in the 4th division much less out of her sight. It seems to Yoruichi that each time something came close to triggering her lover's lost memories, she would black out from the pain. Unohana had said that the lost memories was due to a miniscule clot in Soi Fong's brain which would have to dissolve on its own for the location makes it too risky to heal by kido.

It's either she recover her memories completely or lose them permanently. And the chances of the latter happening is as high as 75%. There is no way in hell I'm risking that. Yoruichi mulled over what the 4th division captain had told her weeks ago. 'The best way for her to recover is to gain them back on her own. And the only way you can help is by doing things that would trigger the lost memories. The blackouts might be because she is unconsciously suppressing those memories. The emotional pain from the lost memories have manifested into physical pain causing her to blackout each time she tries to recall something. There is nothing we can do about it unless she overcomes those barriers; her memories will stay lost forever. Either that, or until the blood clot dissolves by itself. There is no telling when that would happen. It could be tomorrow and it could be a hundred years from now.' Now that is as good as telling me that there is no hope for Soi anymore. How can I do things to trigger those memories when my heart shatters each time she blacks out from the pain?

"Excuse the intrusion" there was a knock on her door before the shoji was slide open. Byakuya stared at the sight in front of him. Never in his life had he seen the Goddess of Flash so down in the dumps.

"How are you holding up?"

Yoruichi jumped at his voice. When did he get here?

"I got here while you're dreaming"

She looked back at him totally uninterested and completely lost in her thought.

"Hey!" he snapped his fingers in front of her only to get a vague waving hand gesture in return.

Admitting to himself that today had been a failure as it had been for the past two weeks, he returned to his mansion and fully intent on consulting every single medical book there is in his house. It's time someone told Urahara what is going on here.

So lost in her thoughts, Yoruichi did not even register Byakuya's visit. And I thought leaving her all those years ago was the most painful thing ever. The yawning gap in her heart is back and the loneliness she felt while she was in "exile" in the human world was nothing compared to what she is feeling now. The pain that course through her veins was almost tangible. Soi Fong's recovery from her coma wasn't widely advertised and was restricted to a need-to-know basis. The Commander General had made Yoruichi interim captain of the 2nd division in efforts to help Soi Fong transit from her original state to her current memory loss state. No one in the 2nd division knows the truth. Not even their vice-captain. If anyone was puzzled when they accidentally run into Soi Fong and see her trailing behind Yoruichi like she did more than a hundred years ago, they kept their suspicions to themselves. Just to ensure that there isn't any rumor about her lover in the rumor mill, she had one of her trusted servants posing as a member of the 2nd division to get the down-low on everything.

Yoruichi sat back and recalled everything they had shared together. Did my leaving did so much more harm to her? Or was it because of the time she thought I was supposed to marry Byakuya-yao and I was happy about it? Or was it my sudden return after disappearing on her for such a long time? Pain clouded her golden eyes as she tried to put herself in her lover's shoe. It has to be all of the above and everything else which I never really notice. She concluded. No wonder she blacks out. It hurts so bad just thinking about it and trying to feel what she felt.

"Excuse the intrusion" a soft, timid knock followed the voice. The only voice that could snap Yoruichi out of any funk. She hurriedly rearranged her facial expression; bending over her paperwork, Yoruichi began scrawling something which might pass for words on the paper in front of her. Yamamoto isn't going to like this.

"Come in"

The door slide open and Soi Fong walked in with her head tilted low and her eyes to the ground.

"Gundanchou-sama, I have finished the tasks you have assigned to me. Is there anything else I can assist you with?" she asked shyly, unable to look the mocha skinned woman in the eye.

Damn! I was hoping that she would take at least till the end of the week to finish those, just so that I could have enough time to figure out what I should do next. She sure works fast. Just a mere two days and she is done.

"You can look up you know. I won't bite." Do you know how much it hurts me to be so near you yet you have no recollection of 'us' at all? Do you even remember that there is an 'us'? Oh Soi, all I want is to curl up in bed with you and tell you how horrible everything is. You've lost your memories and the elders are pushing for the union between me and Byakuya-yago. I'm lost Soi. I'm lost without you. You are my shelter, my safehouse. The only place where I can be myself and not have to be that dignified head of clan, princess of the Shihouin clan. Being head is so much harder without you next to me… Are you ever going to come back to me?

Soi Fong looked up as she was told only to find those arresting golden eyes filled with pain, love and tenderness. All those emotions are directed at her. Is that…love? Why would the Gundanchou be looking at me with love in her eyes? She must be thinking about Urahara-taichou. It seems as though he have been banished from Soul Society for good. She must be hurting because of him. Unknowingly, a burst of jealously flared up within her and consumed her being for that split second. Now why would I feel that way? A sudden wave of pain hit her and Soi Fong swayed on the spot, her right hand clutching her head as the memories of the fight between her and Yoruichi washed through. The pain…it seems like I can take it better now. What is all that? The only thing she could remember from the flood of memories of the fight was the intense look in Yoruichi's eyes. The very same one that Yoruichi was now directing at her unknowingly. Pain. Tenderness. And above all, love. Soi Fong shook her head to rid herself of the memory of those eyes and the emotions that swirled in them.

"Gundanchou-sama, are you alright?"

Yoruichi jumped a little at Soi Fong's voice.

"Yeah. I'm fine. You need to return to Unohana taichou's for a consult, am I right?"

Soi Fong nodded. Maybe Unohana taichou could help me make some sense of what I saw in my head just now.

"You are dismissed. You could go see her now."

Soi Fong nodded and was about to turn and go when Yoruichi called out.

"Please follow Unohana taichou's instructions to the T."

"Hai, Gundanchou-sama."

"I don't want anything to happen to you." Yoruichi could not help but added.

Soi Fong blushed at the evident concern in Yoruichi's voice. Nodding her assent and lowering her head to hide her blush, she left the room and made her way to the 4th division barracks.

AN: I know! I disappeared from the face of the earth. Anyway! I hope you all would like the new update. (: