Chapter Nine: Girl Meets Smackle
"Ancient Greece" Cory started. He was holding two boxes in his hands. "What that? What that that?" Riley asked. "What thi-this? These are presents." Cory answered pointing at the presents. "Are they for me?" Riley asked. "What's your game, Matthews?" Maya asked narrowing her eyes at Cory. "Game? I mean no game. I just wanna know who here wants these presents?" Cory asked. Everyone except for Maya and I raised their hands, Cory noticed that we didn't raise our hands. "Oh Maya, Caroline, what? You assume by playing hard to get, I'm gonna give these to you?" Cory asked.
"No." I answered while Maya answered, "Well, yes. That's one of the many arrows in my quiver." I heard Farkle shuddered. "Medieval talk, what are you doing to me woman?" Farkle asked. "Riley." Cory said putting on of the boxes down while putting the other one on my desk. "Yay!" Riley cheered. She opened the box and pulled out a frame. "The Trojan Horse?" she questioned. I understood why Cory was doing this now. "Surprise!" Cory exclaimed.
"This isn't a present. This is one of your life lessons wrapped up in a class lesson wrapped up in a box of nothing." Riley ranted obviously upset about what was in the box. "How you doing, honey?" Maya and I asked. "I'm worked up." Riley replied. "We know." We replied. Riley put the frame back into the box.
"You assumed because it was all neat and pretty that something good was inside." Cory told her. "Ancient Troy was protected by walls. The Greeks couldn't get in, so they built a big wooden horse and left it behind. What do you think the Trojans did?" "They left it there because they were afraid that someone was trying to teach them something." Riley stated. "They captured it as a trophy and brought it inside. That night, the Greek soldiers crawled out of the horse and defeated Troy. What have we learned here?" Cory continued. Lucas raised his hand. "Mr. Friar."
"Don't make assumptions based on what you see?" Lucas guessed. "Riley, listen, I'm sorry I made an example of you. So here's a gift for you." Cory said holding out a small box. "Ooh no! I want to, no! Pretty ribbon, no!" Riley was having an inner battle. "I'll take my chances with that, sir." Lucas said. Cory handed Lucas the box. "No, Lucas. You have to assume it was no good because the first one was no good. Aren't you all proud of me, dad?" Riley asked. "No." Cory told her.
Lucas opened the box and held a card. He read what was on the card. "Get out of detention free." Lucas read. I quickly opened my box and saw a cowboy hat and wondered why Cory gave this to me. "Ooh, I could use one of those." Maya said. "Gimme that and I won't call you ranger Rick all week." "Here you go." Lucas said handing Maya the card. "Thanks, ranger Roy." Maya thanked. "Lemme guess. Ranger Roy is filling in for ranger Rick?" Lucas questioned.
"All week. And now you." Maya said, the second part directed towards Cory. "Oh is something going to happen to me?" Cory asked. "Yes it is." Maya got up and walked towards Cory's desk. "A d-d-d-d, a d-d-d-d," Maya gets up on to Cory's desk, "a d-d-d-detention." She then bent down to Cory's level and showed him the card. "But not today. Boom!" "Read the card." Cory told her. "Huh?" Maya questioned. "Card." Cory repeated. Maya looked closer at the card. "Say 'get out of detention free' then give worthless card to Maya then watch her dance on my desk." Maya read. She got off of the desk and walked back to hers.
"Never assume. Look more deeply. Just because something is wrapped up all pretty, doesn't always mean it is." Cory said. He was right, except for mine because a cowboy hat wasn't bad. She turned back to look at Lucas. "You were in on this!" she accused. I understood why I had the hat because I knew what Lucas was about to say. I took the hat out and made sure Maya couldn't see it. "I'm ranger Roy and I'll be here all week." Lucas told her tipping his imaginary hat. "And let's not forget his partner." I told her. Maya turned and saw the hat on my head as I tipped it towards her. "Oh-oh-oh." Maya said shuddering while turning back towards the front, I giggled at Maya and kept my hat on.
After class we went to go watch Farkle's debate. Maya was a little mad that I kind of had something to do with the trick. But in my defense I didn't know that was going to happen. "In conclusion, school uniforms reduce individuality which will be unnecessary in the real world when you're all going to be working for me." Farkle concluded his speech. "Thank you. I am Farkle!" Farkle made a good point except for the last part because I am smarter than him so I won't be working for him. He will be working for me, he just doesn't know it yet.
"I don't understand debate." Riley stated. "I say you do." Maya retorted. "Okay." Riley said. "I like debate. Exploring two sides of the same thing; good and bad, light and dark, right in front of you at the same time. Where else are you gonna get that?" Lucas spoke. Riley and I smiled at Lucas while Maya glared at him. "Oh, right here, look at you."
"And now from Einstein Academy, undefeated this season. Seventy-two pounds of raw intellectual power. She is who your mama wishes she gave birth to! The one, the only Smackle!" Cory announced. Some rock music started to play and a girl came through this poster for Einstein Academy. She started to do some moves before walking over to Farkle. "You going down, chump." She told him. Smackle took the microphone and walked between the two tables. "Wearing a uniform makes you surrender to conformity and sacrifices uniqueness, which is our most valuable freedom. Don't let anybody tell you what to wear. Don't let anybody tell you what to be. Smackle, the one and only, out." She stated. We all clapped when she finished her debate.
"Well, before I announce the winner, let me remind you all that our final debate of the season will be held right here next week, where our thought provoking topic will be "is beauty only skin deep?" Cory said. I watched as Smackle made this weird face like she didn't understand the topic. One of the judges walked to Cory and handed him a paper. "Great, thank you. So the winner of today's debate is," Farkle had begun to stand up when Cory forced him to sit down. "Isadora Smackle, Einstein academy."
Everyone clapped. "It looks like our debate team could use some help." Caroline said. "Yeah, Smackle's definitely got game." Lucas replied. "She beats Farkle every time. You think he's gotten used to it by now?" I asked. My question was answered by Farkle lying down on the ground and groaning. "It hurts." He groaned. "Nope, good thing we're there for him." Maya said. Riley, Maya, and I got up and walked towards Farkle. "Being there for him is the most important thing we can be." We turned and saw melon balls. "Melon balls."
"Ooh." Riley said. We walked over to the melon balls. Riley and I walked over to Farkle. "Well, Farkle, good job at being smart and everything." Riley told him. "Yeah you were great, but just remember you are going to be working for me." I added. "Thanks for coming, Riley and Caroline. "Sorry you had to see me lose again." Farkle replied. "Wonderful debate, Farkle. A memory that will live with me right up until the next thing happens." Riley told him. We both give him a hug before he walked away then we walked closer towards Smackle. "Well, Smackle, good job being smart and everything." Riley told her. We turned away.
"I am said." Smackle stated robotically. Riley and I turned back around. "What?" We questioned. Smackle stood up. "Farkle and I are perfect for each other. Why does he prefer you two?" she asked. "I don't know. If I knew, I'd stop." Riley told her. "Yeah and I'm just as smart as you two so there's nothing I can really not do." I told her. "Well, there's nothing left to do now, but get a smoothie all along and continued this good cry I'm having." Smackle said. "You're crying." Riley and I asked. "Yes. Hu-we, hu-we." Smackle "cried". "I don't think that's actually-" Smackle cut Riley off. "Hu-we, hu-we." Then she mumbled some gibberish.
"Look, I am going to ask you something really fast and then I'm going to regret it. You wanna come to my house?" Riley said. She turned her head as she realized what she just asked. "Ooh." "Yes, I would like to come to your hose. There is much I can learn from you." Smackle replied. I thought about what Smackle said, but shook it off as I watched Riley try to hug Smackle.
"Oh, no I already have a weird friend." Maya said walking over to us with melon balls. "She means me." Riley stated proudly.
"Why do we have to be a part of your campaign to befriend every little woodland creature?" Maya asked, talking about herself and me. We were sitting at Riley's window with Smackle. "Which woodland creature and I in your mind?" Smackle asked. I looked over her for a minute. "You're like a little gopher-chipmunk combo deal." I told her.
"Maya, Caroline, Smackle needs our help." Riley told us. "Yes, I need you to teach me the equation to beauty." Smackle said. "Why?" I questioned. "Smackle loves Farkle." Riley answered. "Why?" Maya questioned. "But he prefers you three to me because you are athletically pleasing. While I on the other hand am less athletically pleasing, but superior in every other area." Smackle explained. "Not true." I coughed referring to the last part she said.
"Okay so you want us to make you beautiful?" Maya questioned. "Yes, but I don't expect you to be able to change a trillion years of evolution in five seconds." Smackle replied. I smirked and looked at my nails. "Let me know when it's four seconds." Riley informed us. We waited for a little while. "Go." Maya commanded. We went over to Smackle and started our work.
When we were done Smackle looked like a normal teenage girl and we sat down. "I'm pretty?" Smackle questioned, looking at herself. "You're the hottest little gopher-chipmunk in the whole forest." Maya told her. Riley handed Smackle a hand mirror and Smackle smiled at her reflection. Riley turned and looked at us. "Who's the genius now?" she asked. The three of us crossed our legs and flipped our hair behind us. "Stop it." We said in unison.
Smackle walked over to Riley's bigger mirror. "My outward appearance now seems to represent the current trends agreeable to the general populous." Smackle said looking at herself. Maya, Riley, and I got up and moved over to Riley's bed. "Then why are you still talking like you don't look like?" Maya asked. Smackle turned to look at us. "Ah, my speech that's an easy fix." She told us.
"I don't think so." Riley told her. "Awesome, like, giggle, question, oh my gosh." Smackle said. We looked at her confused. "Do you want to lay that out for us normals?" Maya asked. "Observations reveal that if I merely insert awesome, like, oh my gosh, and giggle everything like it's a question I will assimilate to the general teenage population." Smackle explained. I was kind of curious on why she knew that, it was weird if she was trying to be pretty why would she need something like that? There was something up with the fact that all of sudden she wanted our help. Especially when the next debate was about is beauty only skin deep. "It's not that easy Smackle." Maya told her.
"E equals mc squared." Smackle said. "Why'd you do that for?" Maya asked. "Like e totally equals mc squared." Smackle giggled. "Oh my gosh, awesome." Maya and Riley leaned towards each other. "E equals mc squared." Maya said. "I understand the universe." Riley said. Then they mimicked their minds exploding. Honestly it was kind of odd that they actually thought that made them understand it, but I wasn't going to ruin it for them.
Maya, Riley, and I walked into the classroom where Lucas, Farkle, and the rest of the debate team were. "Ladies." Farkle greeted. "Farkle." We replied. "Maya why are you wearing glasses?" Lucas questioned. "And why are you wearing glasses Care?" "They're Smackle's I'm just holding them for her on my face." Maya explained. "And I'm wearing these because I want too." I told him. "We want to see if people will treat Maya differently now that she looks smart." Riley added.
"Hello suddenly approachable woman." One of the nerds said to Maya. I knew he wasn't talking to me because even with the glasses I was still out of their league. "What's your prescription? Mines 20/800 I can basically only hear you." "I don't have a prescription although I must say you guys are looking a lot loss blurry." Maya told the first nerd. "That's the nicest thing a girl has ever said to us." The other nerd said. Maya took the glasses off. "I like you better blurry." Maya admitted. "That's the second nicest thing a girl has ever said to us." The same nerd told us.
"I think you look nice anyway you are Maya." Farkle stated. "Thanks, you want to go out with us?" Maya asked. Farkle looked shocked before he fainted. "Out like, out on a date?" Farkle asked. We walked closer to Farkle and crouched down. "No, like out there with me, Riley, and Caroline because there's someone else we want to introduce you to." Maya corrected. "Yep we think you'll really like her." Riley added. "I have a very specific taste in girls." Farkle told us. "Is she one?" "Uh huh." Riley replied. "That'll do it." Farkle said.
We were at Svorski's bakery about to start Riley's plan. I didn't really want to do this because I had this feeling about Smackle. "Presenting your date from the model runways of Paris, France." Riley started to announce. "The new face of geek chic Isadora Smackle." Maya continued Riley's introduction of Smackle. They both motioned towards the door of the bakery and there stood Smackle posing. "Wow." Farkle said in awe. Smackle walked towards us, but not before doing another weird pose. Riley made Smackle sit down in the both across from Farkle.
Farkle looked at Smackle before looking at us. "You made her over." Farkle stated. "You know just us girls playing with our hair and clothes." Riley replied. "Are you finally intrigued by me, Farkle?" Smackle asked. "I'm intrigued that my friends don't realize that you're an evil genius." Farkle retorted. Then I realized the feeling I had about Smackle was. She didn't want to be pretty she wanted to do this for the debate, it was to help her so she would win.
"But a pretty evil genius, don't you think?" Riley asked. "This is debate preparation, isn't it?" I asked. "What?" Maya questioned. I sighed before explaining and feeling kind of stupid. "The next debate is beauty's only skin deep. Smackle doesn't want to be like us. Smackle only want to win, we got played." I explained. "Is this true Smackle?" Riley asked. "Affirmative." Smackle answered.
"Riley, do I please have you permission to mess her up now?" Maya asked. "Negative." Riley told her. "Smackle did you assume that this outward change in your appearance would not affect your inner self?" Farkle asked. "Of course it won't I am Smackle." She said. She leaned closer holding up her hand. "But look four red nails ad one blue one. I don't know why." Then she sat back and stopped whispering. "That said how could any outward change possibly affect the inner Smackle?" I just happened to look toward the front of the bakery and noticed Lucas walking in. I smirked because Smackle was about to learn something.
"Hi guys." Lucas greeted. He stopped and looked at Smackle. "Wow Smackle you look great." This compliment caused Smackle to giggle and a smirk to find its way on to my face. "Did that just come from me?" Smackle questioned. "Smile at her." Farkle told Lucas and Lucas smiled at Smackle. "Oh my gosh." Smackle said dreamily before she realized what she said. "Oh my gosh I just said oh my gosh." She turned and looked at Lucas. "Like awesome question."
"Are you okay Smackle?" I asked trying to suppress my smirk. "I don't understand what's happening to me." Smackle cried. "Why don't you sit next to her Lucas?" Farkle suggested. Lucas moved and sat down next to Smackle. "No one that's ever looked like you has ever sat this close. Are you sitting here because you want to be my mate?" Smackle asked. I tried to stifle my laugh. "I'm sitting here because the seat was empty. And Dylan ordered me to," Lucas replied.
"You smell like pine trees." Smackle told him. "Thank you." Lucas replied. "Our feet are touching." Smackle said. "You're doing that." Lucas told her. "Hmm. Smackle, would you mind telling me, what is the square root of 36?" Farkle asked. "Who cares?" Smackle asked. "Excellent. Lucas is on our debate team. Will that be a distraction to you?" Farkle asked. "Should be, yeah." Smackle said, all dreamily. "Good. Let's go. We've got a debate to prepare for." Farkle said, standing. Lucas stood and followed after him.
"What have you done to me?" Smackle asked as we sat down across from her. "I'm broken, I'm pretty, I'm confused." "We can put you back." Riley told her. "I'm not going back." Smackle told us. She looked at her hand flipping in from front to back. "I'm not that confused."
Maya, Riley, and I walked towards Riley's room. We saw Topanga standing at the door and Farkle and Auggie sitting at the bay window. "Okay, who's first?" Riley asked. "I am." Auggie announced. Riley and I walked over to Auggie while Maya asked, "Farkle do you have an appointment?" "No I'm a walk in." Farkle answered. "I'm sorry Farkle feel free to read one of our waiting room magazines, we're jammed." Riley told him. Farkle moved from the window and picked up the magazine off the chair and standing next to Topanga.
"Go." Riley told Auggie. "I wanna be with Ava until I die." Auggie told us. "She doesn't feel the same way?" I asked. "She's vague man, she's messing with my mind." Auggie replied. "But it doesn't matter what she says, it matter what she does." I informed him. "Did she actually break up with you?" Maya asked. "No." Auggie answered. "What? Wait a minute." Topanga walked over to us and sat down next to Auggie. "Auggie I assumed you guys broke up."
"Oh mom you should never assume, didn't dad teach you that?" Riley asked. "Yeah, don't you get the home version of these lessons? You're married to the guy." Maya said to Topanga. "Yeah of course I do. There's just so many of them." Topanga explained. She had this look on her. "Oh no I married Feeny." "So how is Ava messing with you?" Riley asked. "She says that we might not be together forever, but she also say that we might." Auggie said. "So you still have a girlfriend." Maya told him. "And I let you eat cake and whipped cream." Topanga added. Auggie stood up, "Hmm, so I had a pretty good day." Topanga got up and they left the room.
"Next." Riley said. Farkle ran over and sat where Auggie had. "Yes?" Riley questioned. "I'm tortured." Farkle informed us. "What about?" I asked. "Smackle not going to be at her best at the debate." Farkle explained. "Why not?" Maya questioned. "Because you made her better, except you didn't." Farkle told us. "You want us to change her back." Maya suggested. "If we do Farkle, you'll lose the debate." Riley informed him. "I only wanna beat her when she's really her." Farkle admitted. "She's the best arch-nemesis I could ever have." "Otherwise if you beat her, it doesn't count." I understood. "You're pretty smart, Caroline." Farkle complimented.
I was seated next to Riley and Maya in the auditorium at the debate. Farkle stood in front of us looking at Smackle. "You promised you'd change her back." Farkle said like we lied to him. "We tried." Riley and I told him. "She wouldn't go for it." Maya added. Farkle walked over to Smackle and something I couldn't hear before he started talking, "The nation of Troy was charmed by a beautiful wooden horse, they neglected to consider what was inside and they lost everything because of outer beauty. Don't be fooled by a pretty wrapper I mean who keeps the paper?" Riley raised her hand. "I wear ribbons." She stated.
"Okay and our concluding statement will be made by Lucas Friar. Lucas stood up while Farkle sat down. "There can be absolutely no debate that the quest for outer beauty at the expense of one's inner self is a road of personal destruction. People make assumptions. I've been labeled a jock and a cowboy and this is from my friends. But here's a little secret I like school and I do pretty well. You might look at me and assume baseball player. I look at me and I know I better get good grades because what's in the inside has to be more important than what's on the outside to get into a good college and into a good life. Because beauty is not skin deep, thank you."
We all clapped and Lucas sat down. Smackle got up and stood between the two tables. "Oh my gosh I'm like so totally unprepared and scared. Maybe that's what you would assume I would say considering the effort I put into my appearance. I'm here to argue today that beauty is actually skin deep. So I've done some research and I've learned that it is. When you get compliments from people who don't ordinarily compliment you. When people look at you differently. Packaging does matter. I wasn't pretty then I was, this is a world where pretty seems better somehow. Which is too bad, but not debatable. However I also learn that if you get swept up from what you are on the outside you can lose who you are on the inside. Even though it is easy to be fooled by the beauty of the Trojan horse its real power comes from the army within. Intelligence, compassion, integrity, courage, that army is the really you no matter what you look like. So even though beauty may be skin deep, beauty is nowhere near as important as the army inside and I'll try not to forget that." Smackle walked over to her school's table, picked up her glasses and put them on while looking at us. "Wow, look at all of you, you're all very deeply beautiful. Especially you Farkle." She said looking at Farkle. "Thank." She said
Smackle walked toward me, Maya, and Riley. "Thank you taking me in, I hope we can be friends." She told us. "Cool we've got a lot to learn from each other." Maya replied. I quickly pulled Smackle into a hug before Riley hugged and when they pulled away Riley took her red bow off and put it on Smackle's dress. Smackle smiled at us before she went and sat down. "I continue not to understand anything." Riley admitted. "That's what's so beautiful about you." Maya told her.
After the debate, Riley, Maya, Lucas, Farkle, Smackle, and I went to our hang out and sat in our usual seats. "Valliant effort Lucas, perhaps a smoothie will take the sting out of my latest victory." Smackle suggested to Lucas. "Whoa, whoa back off sister." Riley told her while I said, "Don't even think about it." "I actually think that Smackle's just enjoying some new found Riley and Caroline." Farkle explained. "You know me too well arch-nemesis." Smackle smiled. "She was using you to make Farkle jealous." Maya smirked looking at Lucas. "Well that's a new one." Lucas said.
"Tell me the truth Farkle, if Riley, Maya, and Caroline weren't beautiful would you still love them?" Smackle asked. Farkle looked at us. "They're beautiful, oh yeah I never really noticed." Farkle said. Maya, Riley, and I looked at each other and shared a smile.