A/N:

I'm not sure if this is as dark as the previous chapter (please tell me what you think) but it's a set up for the things that are gonna happen next chapter. Apologizing in advance for the 'final scene' in this chapter. =)

I don't like this chapter as much as the previous one but I still hope you'll love it. Haha. This is the longest one yet (almost at 7k words) but I think it's also because of the replies to your reviews. Anyway, have fun reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own and will never own Orange Is The New Black or any of its characters.

12

"Even if it's a lie, say it will be all right and I shall believe..."

-o-o-o-

Alex's meeting only took less than two hours and soon enough, she was driving back home. Every now and then, she would look at the seat beside her, making sure that it was still there, that she really had it. Alex didn't know why but she suddenly found her hands shaking, itching to hold the bag again, just so it would never be out of her reach or sight.

Suddenly her phone started ringing again for the nth time today, and true to her guess, it was Nicky again. When her best friend started calling her about almost two hours ago, she figured she had found out from Piper where she was going and she was damn sure she was just going to stop her from doing this. So she chose to ignore her calls, despite knowing that she was gonna hear a handful when she came back home.

She was about to ignore the call again but she realized that Nicky wasn't going to stop calling her anyway so she just decided to answer her phone instead. She was just about to open her mouth to say something when Nicky started yelling profanities at her on the other end of the line.

"What the actual fuck, Alex?! I've been calling you for almost two fucking hours!"

Alex sighed, expecting this reaction from her best friend. "I'm sorry, I had my phone on silent," Alex lied. "What the hell are you so mad about? Miss me already?"

"Fuck off!" replied Nicky and Alex noted the anger laced in Nicky's voice. "It's Piper!"

Alex suddenly felt as if cold water had been poured all over her. Her mind started working, immediately going to the worst thoughts possible. "Piper? What happened? Is she okay?" Of all the times Nicky chose to keep quiet, she chose this moment and Alex was pissed. "Nicky! Where the fuck is Piper?!"

"I don't know," Nicky answered and she sounded so worried Alex felt as if she was gonna throw up. She was terrified, not knowing what on earth was happening to her girlfriend and was ultimately pissed at herself for ignoring Nicky's calls.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean, I don't know!" Nicky was yelling again. "Her... her mother died," she then said softly.

Alex's heart started racing fast as she absentmindedly stepped on the gas pedal, wanting to reach home as soon as she could. She was driving so fast now, not caring if she was going over the speed limit. "Fuck. How did you know?"

"She saw the obituary. And then she ran. I've been looking for her all over town but I can't find her. She's not answering any of my messages or any of my calls."

A feeling of dread, worry and fear settled on Alex's stomach as she ran her fingers over her hair. She knew she should've felt bad that this happened to Piper's mother, but with Piper's stories about her, Alex couldn't help but not care. All she cared about right now was Piper and how she was going to find her. "Fuck! Okay, thanks Nick. I'm gonna go find her. Please call me if you hear from her."

"Are you sure you're gonna answer this time?" Nicky said sarcastically, and Alex knew her best friend was pissed at her, too. "Where the fuck have you been anyway?"

Alex sighed, disgust over herself reigning in. "Not now, Nicky. I have to go."

She then put her phone down and started cursing at herself. How could she be so selfish? Here she was, happy to the point of being ecstatic that she got more drugs when her girlfriend was going through her mother's death alone. When she absentmindedly looked towards her right, she saw the bag containing the drugs and out of frustration at herself, she grabbed the bag and threw it at the back of her car. She then hit the steering wheel hard out of her anger at herself.

Classic Vause, fucking up once again.

She tried to dial Piper's number, hoping that she'd pick up if she'd see that she was the one calling but four attempts had passed and Piper had not picked up. To say Alex was worried would be the understatement of the year. She was terrified, not knowing where Piper was, where she could go, what she was doing. She kept driving but she really did not have any destination because she didn't know where to start looking for her girlfriend.

Then it suddenly dawned on her, that place where she would always see Piper at her happiest, that first place she had brought her to the first time they went out of town. Alex wasn't 100% sure if it was indeed the place Piper would go to but she had to start somewhere. So she steered her car towards that place and hoped to whoever was up there, if there indeed was, that Piper indeed chose to go there.

Alex reached her destination in less than 15 minutes. True enough, she saw Piper sitting near the lake, holding a bottle of what looked like a beer. But it was obviously not her first one, with the number of bottles lying around her. Relief washed through Alex before the sight of her girlfriend truly hit her. She had her legs folded, her chin tucked on her knees, and her arms wrapped around them. She looked like the Piper Alex first met, that scared girl who always chose to distance herself from everyone if only that meant she would never have to be close enough to get hurt. But somehow, this person that Alex was seeing looked so much worse.

Alex slowly approached her girlfriend, not wanting to startle her. She then sat beside her silently, as she tucked her legs under her. Piper wasn't even surprised. She just looked at Alex for a split second before going back to staring straight ahead. But this didn't stop Alex from noticing her red, swollen eyes, and Alex felt her heart break into a million little places. Without saying another word, Alex shuffled herself closer to the blonde, wrapped one arm around her waist, burying her face between Piper's neck and shoulder.

Piper did not attempt to move. Instead, she spoke in her quiet voice thick with tears, "I'm sorry. I know this is your place. But I had nowhere else to go." The blonde was obviously drunk, judging by the way she slurred her words.

Alex then raised her head to look at her girlfriend. "Pipes, this is your place now, too. You don't need to apologize." Piper did not say anything else and it broke Alex's heart to see her like this. When Piper looked at her, there was nothing in her eyes. They were so blank that it scared Alex she would never see anything in those beautiful blue eyes again. "I'm sorry, Piper. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you... when you f-found out."

Piper shook her head. "It's okay. You're here now." This time, it was Piper who moved closer to Alex. She then laid her head on Alex's shoulder, the warmth of Alex helping her calm down for the first time in two hours. Piper suddenly wished she should've drunk more. She didn't want to be sober enough to feel anything right now. But fucking hell if the world was gonna be good to her today.

Alex rubbed Piper's arm up and down. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Alex knew what it felt like to lose a mother, as it was undoubtedly the worst time of her life. But she didn't know how this felt like for Piper considering her relationship with her own mother, and Alex honestly did not know what to say.

Surprisingly, Piper spoke up. "Alex, I hadn't seen her in years. It's been so long I don't even remember how long exactly it's been anymore. And those last few years, I spent them hating her." Piper then disentangled herself from Alex, bringing the bottle of beer to her lips.

"Hey, I think you've had enough," Alex said gently as she pried the bottle out of Piper's hand.

Piper just let Alex take the beer from her, before fixing her gaze on her feet. "And now..." she continued, "...and now she's gone. She's gone and she's still able to make me feel like shit." She balled her hand into a fist Alex could see the veins on her knuckles.

"Baby..." Alex knew there were no words that could ever make Piper feel better so she pulled her into her arms again and let her body do what words could never do for her.

"Al, I'm supposed to hate her." Piper started crying again, something she swore she'd never do again after the first 30 minutes she spent pouring tears over her mother. She didn't want to cry for her. She thought that after everything she's done, or hasn't done, she didn't deserve grief from Piper. But with Alex's arms wrapped around her, she finally let herself feel the vulnerability she'd been fighting ever since she read her mother's name on the obituary. Crying just screamed weakness but fighting it just seemed to be sucking every ounce of energy left in Piper's body and she was goddamned exhausted. So now that Alex was here, maybe she could just let her be the strong one for her. "I'm not supposed to give a crap anymore. But why do I feel like this? Why does it still hurt so fucking much?"

"Pipes, babe, look at me." Alex brought her hands towards Piper's face, guiding it towards her so she can look her in the eye. "Do you wanna know one of the things that I really love about you? It's your ability to love in spite of everything this world has put you through. So you don't need to beat yourself up over this, okay? It's all right to get hurt. It comes with the package. It's okay, Piper. It's okay to let go."

And so Piper spent the next moment crying on Alex's shoulder, literally. She cried not only for her mother's death, but for the years she chose not to cry over every pain that she's had because of her. She cried for the days she hoped that her mother would eventually learn to love her. And she cried for the end of that hope, now that Carol Chapman was gone for good, Piper's chance of ever experiencing that love dying with her.

All the while, Alex wrapped Piper in her arms, running soothing circles on her back, kissing the top of her head every now and then. She let her actions speak for her, letting Piper know that she was there for her. And Alex had no plans of leaving no matter what would happen, no matter how fucked up she was, too, at the moment. Right now, Piper needed her and it was all of her she would give, even if that meant setting aside her own shitty problems for a while.

And at that moment, while Piper was sobbing on Alex's shoulder, with Alex's arm wrapped around her, Alex realized just how much more she'd fallen in love with her girlfriend. She realized how she'd go to all ends of the world just to be able to protect her, to stop anyone from coming even just remotely close to hurting her. Alex was far from perfect, she was aware of that. She was fucking damaged, and probably for good, but she loved Piper way too much to let anything get in the way of that.

After what felt like hours of letting it all go, Piper finally stopped. She wiped the tears that had now settled on her cheeks before brushing her hair with her fingers. She stayed in Alex's arms for a while, knowing that it was the only place she wanted to be in right now. But she also knew that they needed to get back, so she lifted her head slightly without having to move her entire body away from her girlfriend. "Alex?"

"Yeah?" Alex asked, looking at her.

Piper looked back at her and softly said, "Take me home."

Alex then nodded. "Okay babe." Alex kissed the top of Piper's head and whispered to her, "I love you." Piper just nodded and Alex helped Piper get up. They walked quietly towards her car, and for one brief moment, Alex was relieved that she had thrown the bag that contained the drugs at the back of her car. Piper was dealing with too much right now and if she saw that, she knew it would only add up to her problems.

Soon enough, they were driving back home, Piper looking out the car's window the whole time not saying a word to Alex. Alex debated with herself on whether she should respect Piper's need for silence or talk to her to divert her attention to something else. But then she realized that there was one question that needed to be asked so she took Piper's hand until the blonde's attention was already on her. "Are you... are you going to see her?"

"No," Piper immediately answered. "It wouldn't change anything anyway."

"What about your brother, Cal?"

"If he's still with them, I'm pretty sure he can do it on his own. It's not like I just left yesterday. I've been gone from their lives for so many years, I practically died before my mother in their eyes. Although my gut tells me that he's left them, too. No one in his right mind would be able to stomach staying with our parents for so long," Piper said, her face blank with emotions.

"Okay," Alex nodded, taking Piper's hand and squeezing it gently. "Everything's going to be okay, babe," she then added. She hoped Piper believed her, even if Alex couldn't even make herself believe the same thing for her.

And Piper did believe Alex. She wasn't really sure how everything was going to be okay. She felt as if her mother's death had taken a piece of her, like she's always going to feel hollow for the rest of her life. But somehow, Alex was able to convince her that everything would eventually fall on their right places. And she knew that the only reason she believed that was that because Alex said so.

Piper then looked down at their entwined hands before looking at Alex who now had her eyes on the road ahead of them. "Thanks, Al."

Alex glanced at her quickly, guilt again settling on her stomach. She had barely done anything. If there's something she's done today, it's failing as a girlfriend. She wasn't there when Piper needed her the most. She couldn't say anything that Piper needed to hear. She didn't know what to do. And yet, here Piper was, thanking her. "I didn't even do anything," Alex said, pretending to focus on the road when in truth she just really couldn't look Piper in the eye.

"You did," Piper assured her, lightly rubbing Alex's hand enveloped on her own with her thumb. "You found me." Piper looked at Alex, wishing she'd look back at her but her eyes were still transfixed on the road. "Thank you."

Alex forced herself to smile, bringing Piper's hand to her lips, and kissing it gently. "I love you. You know that, right?" she suddenly said, not only because she wanted to remind Piper, but also because she wanted to assure herself that Piper knew... that no matter how shitty life had or would become for both of them, there's that constant thing that would never go away. Alex loved Piper. She had to remind herself that her girlfriend knew that.

"I know," And for the first time since she found out her mother had passed away, Piper smiled. Although it was barely there, it was still genuine. "And I love you, too." She then shuffled closer to Alex, pressing a soft kiss on her girlfriend's shoulder. "You're the only one I have left, Al. Promise me you won't go anywhere." Piper still had her head on Alex's shoulder, feeling her chest tighten again.

Alex kissed the top of Piper's head. "I'm not going anywhere, Pipes."

They stayed like that for a while until Piper pulled away, leaving Alex to be able to drive properly. "Can you drop me off at Red's?"

"What? Why?"

"I have to go back to work. I left without saying anything..." Piper said, just realizing how Nicky must be feeling right now. She was probably so pissed at her for leaving abruptly and so she had to go back and explain what just happened.

"Piper, you're not even entirely sober."

"I'm sober enough to work. I have to tell Nicky what happened."

"Pipes, you're not going back to work. Leave Nicky to me, I'm sure she understands."

"Alex..."

"Piper," Alex said with finality in her tone. "Please, just... stay home with me today, okay? Please? We'll get take out for lunch and just spend the day watching crappy films."

Piper then nodded sheepishly, "Okay. Yeah, I'd like that."

-o-o-o-

If there was one thing Piper knew she was really good at, it was making herself believe that she was okay. That's why it did not come as a surprise when the next few days posed as a challenge to her. No matter how much she tried convincing herself that she was fine, that she wasn't affected by her mom's death, the pain she could feel in every fiber of her being kept telling her otherwise.

She spent those next few days quiet and withdrawn. She took days off from Red's, much to the older woman's relief, even telling her to take as many days off as she wanted, and just spent them at Alex's. She wanted to go back to her apartment but Alex wouldn't let her. Her girlfriend wanted to be there for her as much as she could, and Piper knew that she was still guilty for not having been there when she found out about her mother's death.

And she was thankful for that. Alex took care of her but Piper still felt the loss of her mom affect her in ways she never thought would still affect her. She knew it was crazy to think so, but somehow, it felt like a final insult to her, that no matter how far she'd gone from her, her mother still mattered a lot. And for the first time in years, she again felt the lack of love from her own parents and how fucked up it had made her. She knew Alex was doing all she could to make her feel better, but at the moment, all she wanted was say nothing, do nothing, feel nothing.

One afternoon, Piper found herself in yet another same position in Alex's bed, curled up in a fetal position, with her back on the door, just staring blankly ahead. She suddenly felt the other side of the bed dip, signalling Alex joining her. Piper threw Alex a short glance without really moving her entire body and she saw her lie down beside her.

She felt Alex's arm on hers as she whispered to her ear, "Be my little spoon?"

Piper felt herself smile as she adjusted her position to fit in just right in front of Alex. Alex wrapped her arm around Piper, her hand resting gently on Piper's stomach, Piper settling her own hand on top of Alex's. They stayed like that for a while, not saying anything and Piper felt herself relax in the arms of her girlfriend.

Alex pulled Piper closer to hers, pressing her face at the back of her head so she could smell her favourite scent in the world. "Do you remember that first day we met?" she suddenly asked, lightly tracing her fingers on Piper's stomach.

Piper again smiled, this time at the memory of her first meeting with Alex, and how it was the exact opposite of being romantic. "How can I forget?"

Alex chuckled. "Yeah." Her mind also wandered back to how much of a mess they both were that day, realizing how much things had changed, but also remembering how everything seemed to becoming a lot crappier right now. "Do you wanna know what exactly I was doing there?"

"What?"

"I was waiting for Nicky. I was about to leave the country for good, sell the house here, say goodbye to her and Red, and then never come back again."

To say Piper was surprised would not explain enough how exactly she was feeling at the moment. This was the first time she was hearing about this. She just thought that Alex was back for a vacation and that if she ever decided to leave, she would've still come back. "What happened?" she asked nonchalantly, masking the uneasiness that had started to settle on her stomach. "I mean, I'm assuming you were planning to do all that in one day. But here you are."

"Here I am," Alex said softly, as if only reminding herself of where she was and on why she was really here. "Well, I met a certain klutzy blonde who has the habit of breaking things unintentionally."

Piper scoffed, still feeling the tightening of her chest at the possibility that Alex still wanted to leave. "You want me to believe that you changed your mind about a decision you made that could have potentially changed your entire life just because you met me?"

"Who said I meant you?" Piper lightly slapped Alex on her arm making Alex chuckle softly. She then kissed Piper's nape before proceeding. "No, I mean, I didn't really change my mind altogether, you know. It's just... there was something in you that made me want to stay just for a little while longer."

"Yeah? What's that?" Piper asked but her mind wasn't really into it. All she could think right now was the fact that Alex could leave town. Alex could leave her.

"At first, I thought it was your eyes. But now I realize it's actually what I saw in them. It's the fact that you have a good soul, Pipes. You have a beautiful soul and I love you so much for it," Alex said with so much sincerity in her tone, her love for Piper radiating off her body.

At this, Piper finally let the tears that she had been fighting for so many days now, flow. She'd been so withdrawn from Alex these past few days that she'd almost forgotten how much this woman loved her. And she shouldn't be asking for anything else, Alex should be enough. Her mother was gone. She never loved her and now she never would. It was Alex who was here, and it was her who had loved Piper more than she's ever been loved. If she could not pull her shit together for herself, then she should do it for her.

"I know that things are shitty right now, but everything is gonna get better," Alex continued, her voice so soothing. "I will do everything I can to make that happen for you. Because it's what you deserve."

Piper then decided to face Alex, her eyes still misty and wet with tears. She looked at Alex with wonder and so much love and admiration, "Why are you so good to me?"

Alex chuckled softly, "Why is that even a question?

Piper smiled then slowly brought Alex's face to hers as she pressed a soft kiss on her lips. "Are you still planning on leaving?" she suddenly asked, the thought of Alex leaving the country without her clamped on her heart like a fist.

"What?" Alex asked, a little confused by the question. "What do you mean?"

"Earlier, you said, you were planning on leaving the country for good. And that meeting me only made you want to stay a little longer. You didn't... you didn't say you were staying for good." Piper's heart ached but she had to know.

"I know. But I also did say that I love you, right?" Piper stayed motionless, still waiting for Alex to say what she wanted, needed, to hear. "I'm not going anywhere without you, Piper, not for too long anyway. You're stuck with me, you know?" she smiled at Piper, hoping it was enough to remove the doubt that was visible on Piper's eyes.

"You mean that?" Piper silently asked, a smile slowly forming on her lips.

"I do. I'm staying wherever you are."

It was then that Piper decided to smile fully. "I love you."

Alex smiled back, happy that she'd finally seen Piper smile genuinely again for the first time in days. It's one of the things she's been missing the most and now she had it again. "I love you, too."

-o-o-o-

To say that those next few days were a challenge to Alex would be an understatement. Most of the time, Piper's too withdrawn that she could barely talk to her. She understood her, of course, but it hurt her to see her girlfriend this way and to know that she couldn't do anything about it. She hated it and made her feel useless. If only she knew what to do.

But it was also the fact that she'd been so agitated and anxious those past few days. Piper's been sleeping with her every night since her mother died but Alex still hasn't had one single night of decent sleep since then. Alex knew what was going on, but she refused to acknowledge it. More like she didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be.

Alex tried to ignore it, she really did. Piper needed her more than she's ever needed her before and she should only be the one she was paying attention to but she just couldn't fight it anymore. All her muscles were aching and she's been sweating a lot, something Piper didn't fail to notice.

"Is everything okay?" Piper asked. They were both sprawled on Alex's couch, watching anything they'd think would be interesting enough to watch. "Are you sick? You seem—" Piper was about to feel Alex's temperature when Alex immediately stood, as if she was afraid to be touched. "Hey, what's going on?" Piper was now worried. She tried to get close to Alex but her girlfriend just took a step back from her.

"Everything's fine," Alex said, wiping her hands on her jeans. "I just remembered... I need to go, uh, see Nicky. Will you be okay to stay here for a while? I'll be fast," Alex was talking fast and she kept fumbling with the hem of her shirt.

"Are you sure you're o—"

"I'm okay Piper." Alex cut her off again as she started walking towards the door. "I'm okay. I'll see you later."

-o-o-o-

Nicky was just about to head out when she heard a loud knock on her door. She half-ran towards it, afraid that if she didn't reach it on time, the person on the other side would tear her door down. "Are you trying to break my damn door?" Nicky said as she opened the door to Alex who immediately went inside, not waiting to be invited in. Nicky waited for her to say something but she just sat on her couch, her eyes unfocused and her hands shaking. "What the fuck's going on?"

"Nothing. Can I, uh, stay here for a while?" Alex said only sparing Nicky a short glance before darting her eyes around. Her hands had once again found the hem of her shirt and held on to it for dear life, closing in on them tightly with the hope that it would stop them from shaking too damn much.

Nicky walked towards Alex apprehensively. "Why are you shaking? And why the fuck are you sweating as if you've been running miles?"

"It's nothing Nicky. I just really wanted to hang out for a while," Alex answered, this time not bothering to look at her best friend. She knew she had to have a better excuse on why she was here. But her mind wouldn't function properly. Every time she tried to use it, all it would focus on was that one thing she hasn't had in over a week, and it was making her crazy. She was too anxious, too agitated, too everything, and she knew it was only a matter of time before she'd totally lose it.

Nicky observed Alex quietly, looking for all signs to prove that what she was thinking was right. She fervently hoped that she was wrong, but Alex showed every symptom. And Nicky felt as if she had been hardly kicked in her gut when she realized that. "When was the last time you used?"

"What?" Alex immediately stared at her looking bewildered.

"Don't make me say it again, Vause. You've been using." Nicky frantically ran her fingers through her hair, as she couldn't help but feel responsible for this. She handed the drugs back to Alex. She let her lie to Piper. She covered for her. "And don't you dare deny it to me. Because fuck, if you're not suffering from withdrawal right now, I'd fucking sell my damn kidneys!"

Alex glared at Nicky. "I am not... suffering from anything."

"Then why the fuck are you here? Oh no, wait let me answer that for you. You're here because you don't want Piper to see you like this. You're here because you're fucking itching to use again, but you can't because Piper's staying with you." Again, she waited for Alex to say something, to deny what she just accused her of, but she stayed still, gritting her teeth. "Tell me I'm wrong."

Alex stayed like that for a while before standing up. "You know what," she then looked at Nicky, anger evident in her eyes, "...fuck you!" She started walking towards the door, not bothering to look at Nicky again.

"Alex!" Nicky walked, almost ran, after her then gripped her arm. "Alex, you need help."

"Piper needs help."

"I know Alex. Believe me, I really do. I know that she's going through some shit right now and that you wanna be there for her. But how are you gonna do that when you can't even take care of yourself?" Nicky looked at Alex with pleading and worried eyes, desperately wanting to reach her. She's quickly isolating herself from everyone, even from Piper, and it was starting to scare the shit out of Nicky because if there was one person that could pull Alex back to reality, it was Piper. But how could she do that when Alex wouldn't even let her in anymore? "If you don't want me to help you, then let her. Please."

"Nicky," Alex said sharply, looking as if she couldn't believe what her best friend just told her. "Piper's mother just died."

"More than a fucking week ago!"

"And my mom died more than two years ago. Do you think that makes it any less painful?!"

"No, it doesn't! And I'm not saying that. I just—" Nicky rubbed her face frantically, not knowing what else to tell her best friend. "I get it, okay? I get that you feel the need to take care of Piper, to protect her from every shitty thing in this world. But Piper wants to do that for you, too."

"I don't need to be taken care of! I am fucking fine!"

"No, you're not! And the fact that you can't even admit it to me just proves that. Alex, I'm your best friend. You've always told me everything. And you've never lied to me before this. But you've already lied about using and now you're again lying about being okay."

"Shut up," Alex said in a dangerously calm voice, even shaking a lot more terribly than the first moment she came in here.

"Alex..."

"I said shut up!" Alex screamed in a voice Nicky couldn't even recognize anymore.

This wasn't the Alex Nicky knew. This person in front of her was too far gone to want to listen to reasons, to think rationally. And it scared Nicky because she didn't know how she was gonna pull Alex back.

Alex was about to walk out the door when she decided to throw Nicky one last glance. "Don't you dare say anything to Piper. Because God help me, Nicky if you do, consider this friendship over."

And just like that, Alex was out of Nicky's sight, looking worse than she's ever seen her in her entire life.

-o-o-o-

When Alex got out of Nicky's house, she considered going somewhere else before going back to her place. She needed to calm herself first because she was too fucking mad at Nicky for thinking she knew what she needed. She was okay. It was Piper who wasn't and she was the only person who mattered right now.

And if there was one thing that could calm Alex right now, it was that thing that was safely hidden inside a secret space in her closet that she was sure Piper wasn't aware of. So she decided that she would go home, take it and just use a small amount.

Just to calm herself.

Just a small amount.

She arrived home a little later, finding Piper lying on her couch in a fetal position, her back on her. Alex debated whether to approach Piper or just go straight to her room but before she could even decide, Piper had sensed her presence.

"That was fast," the blonde said sitting up.

"Yeah, I just, uh, I needed to get something. Are you okay?"

Piper looked at her intently, and Alex didn't know why but she couldn't return her gaze. She was about to look away when Piper nodded. "Yeah. Are you?"

"I'm fine," Alex said as she walked towards her room hurriedly. She moved quickly, not sure if Piper would follow her inside or not. She then proceeded towards her stash, but felt her heart race when she couldn't find the heroin in there. She frantically moved everything inside, hoping that she just misplaced it somewhere, anywhere, in there but to no avail.

"Are you looking for this?"

Alex almost jumped up at the sound of Piper's voice behind her and she had to collect herself before she could slowly turn around, hoping that Piper wasn't holding what she was looking for. But as if the only luck associated with her today was the bad one, she felt as if cold water was poured all over her as she looked at her girlfriend holding up the very thing Alex was looking for.

SHOUTOUTS:

Budda1127, Thank you! And I'm so happy you reviewed! =) Here's another new update, hope you like it!

Guest (OMG I'm shocked), Wow, thank you! You're amazing, too. And yes, I will keep writing thank you so much! =)

luveverythingtv, I'm glad you liked the long chapter. Here's another long one, hope you like it!

piccolover22, I'm glad you loved the previous chapter! Here's a new one haha. And thank you for your review! Keep'em coming =)

WB79, I knew it! Haha. Thank you! And yes, it's just about to get even darker. And I'm really sorry for that. =)

PnkPnther, I'm sorry that I had to let Alex have the drugs. It's important in this story *peace and love, man*

vausegasm, Hahaha, you did it again, girl! Based on your review I'm assuming that the previous chapter got you emotional? Haha! I'm sorry that I had to do that to Vauseman (and especially Alex *?*) but again, what's life without a little drama? And *sigh* because you don't like me right now but I still like you very much because your reviews give me life! Thank you very much for that, it really helps me keep going. =) Keep being awesome and hope to hear/(read) from you soon!

sara lance, Well fuck indeed haha! I'm sorry I had to do that to Piper and Alex (but I'm also not sorry because that's just how the story should go, right? Haha!) And you're right about having to brace yourself because more angst is coming! Again, sorry for the stress the previous chapter has caused you haha. And thank you for your review!

pitterpat87, I'm glad you loved the tension! I think you're one of the very few people who had told me that. Haha. And also happy that I was able to surprise you with the ending. Thank you for that review, it was way too wonderful! =)

Phantomjazz, Here's the new chapter, hope it didn't disappoint! =)

ManveerlovesVauseman, Wow, I loved your review! As usual, it was detailed and it's awesome! Thank you very much for that and here's another chapter. Enjoy! =)

FFChik, I'm glad you found the obituary bit 'unexpected' =) It's good to know I can still surprise people. Haha. Thank you for another very detailed review, I love it! And yes, you're definitely right about them on "barely hanging on by a thread" so expect more drama in the future chapters! Thanks again and have an awesome day!

Marauder-Lu, Hm, I think that Alex trusts Piper. She just really thinks that she can handle her 'shit' on her own and doesn't wanna bother Piper with it, which seems wrong at the moment, right? Haha. Thank you for your review! Hopefully, you'd still find this story interesting after this chapter =)

schillingarmy, I'm glad that you do! Here's another long one, not as long as the previous chapter, though. And you couldn't have worded it better "vulnerable and messed up together" is what Vauseman really is in this story. You're welcome, and I'm glad you think so. Thank you very much! =)

moanzs, Wow, thank you for your review! It feels so good to know that my story (the previous chapter) has affected you that way. It's really awesome. =) And I'm sorry that Alex picked the phone up too late. Haha. I hope this chapter did not disappoint. And no problem about the responses. Again, it's the least I can do because you guys are so nice to this story.

izzielg, Hm, you have to brace yourself then because things can get even worse. Haha. And I'm sorry I think the ending to this chapter left you hanging even more? Please don't hate me. =) Will try to post as soon as I can!

RJVause, Thank you for rereading the whole story! I can't believe you thought this was worth a second read! That really makes me happy. =)) And also thank you for considering this as one of your 'favourites' coz that really means a lot to me. Here's another update, hope you'll still have the energy to wait for the next one. Haha.

huggerguest, Haha! I hope you're ready for the roller-coaster of emotions that you mentioned on the previous chapter! =) Thank you for the review!

SheriLovey, The way Piper's gonna deal with her mother's death will still be explored in the future chapters. =) I'm sorry that Nicky wasn't able to stop Alex to meet with her friend but that is really essential in this story, I hope you're not too disappointed. Thank you very much for your review! And just so you know, you're amazing, too! Enjoy this new chapter!

jomichael03, Hey, hey, hey! I've missed you! I thought you've given up on this story I am so glad you're back! How was your vacation? I'm glad that you had a great time! And you're right, some things have happened while you were away I'm glad you've finally caught up. Haha! As usual, your review gives me life and I really missed reading them, please don't go away again. =)) Kidding, you can have vacation again if you want! Hahaha. And you're right, life's been good for me, too. I missed talking to you as well. Until next time, my friend!

orange621, Awww, now you've made me blush, too! Thank you. I'm glad you love this story. And don't worry, I won't let anything bad happen to Alex. Haha! Here's a new chapter, enjoy! =)

Vausemaniac, Oh, I almost didn't notice that your review was for chapter 10. Hopefully you'd be able to read this when you reach chapter 12 coz I wanna thank you for that awesome review! I'm glad you liked the "Will you be my girlfriend?" scene. I loved that in season 3 so I had to include it here. =) Really, your review, especially the second paragraph, was so great I don't even know what to say other than thank you! Have an awesome day! =)