A/N: Well, I did it. I've done it. I've gotten to the whole reason I started this story... I hope you all enjoy it. ;) And this is in no way the end. BTW, I was so excited to post this that I didn't have it beta'd so please for give my mistakes.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass or Blair Waldorf, I just like to see what would happen if the show's writer's believed in them as I do.

Chapter 24

"Too Far Gone"

Blair's mind was racing in so many directions, she was giving herself whiplash.

Just a second ago, she'd been thinking about making up with Chuck. In her mind, she had run to the elevator and when he'd opened the door to her, she'd thrown her arms around him in her own version of a fairytale fantasy. Now she was so far from that feeling; standing here in front of Nate, having turned her head just in time to catch the enraged, possessive look on Chuck's face...

She wanted to make him pay.

He had no right to look at her like that; they were no longer together and she knew that, somehow, this was all his fault. She was free to do as she chose, so she decided to do what would come naturally at this moment... had the last few months not happened, that is.

The moment her lips touched Nate's she fought the urge to recoil; she didn't truly want to be in his arms, for him to be touching or kissing her...

But Chuck deserved to be punished, didn't he?

Or had living through the strange place she'd been in for the past week been punishment enough?

Nate wasted no time pulling her into the hotel room; it seemed that this was the exact reason he'd booked the room: he had planned for her to be in his arms by the end of tonight. For her to be so separated from the horror of all that had happened between them, that she would do anything to get him back. At one point in time, she had made him expect that of her and in this moment she regretted it.

Blair was desperate for someone... but that person was so far removed from the one she was kissing now that she grew lightheaded. In pulling away to steady herself for retreat, she caught a glimpse of Chuck's face; the pain from the show she'd put on to punish him was etched into every curve of his face.

It no longer mattered who she was kissing now. One look at the agony painted over her lover's face and she knew the devastation wasn't something that he would bounce back quickly from.

Her betrayal had been so much more grievous than any silly ball that was interrupted with a little societal misdeed. Chuck hadn't deserved punishment; she owed it to the relationship they had to let him explain what happened, not jump to conclusions as she had done.

Her treachery had finally gone past the point of forgiveness.

Just seeing the effect of her actions caused her adrenaline-fueled indignation to turn heavy in her veins, weighing her down. She was frozen in the space between Nate's arms. Everywhere that he touched her was numb with embarrassment, every nerve-ending screaming at her to stop him.

She wasn't his to touch and every part of her being knew it.

As the door closed over Chuck's despondent face, his heartbreak became more important to Blair than anything else in all existence. As Nate led her toward the bed, even though she'd stopped kissing him back a full minute ago, she resigned herself to what she'd chosen over her heart.

There was no point in trying to mend her relationship with Chuck now; it was hopeless after what she'd done. Chuck would never forgive her, never trust her again... so she must now lie in the bed she'd made.

But that didn't mean she would continue to feel like an unfaithful whore.

She spoke against his lips, "Nate..."

He still persisted in kissing her, making her feel even more uncomfortable.

"Nate, please stop," pushing him a few inches away gently, she avoided his eyes a moment to gather her strength. Blair felt considerably weakened by all that had happened in the last hour and she wanted nothing but to escape her blond ex in favor of some sleep.

The strong arms around her loosened and dropped from her body as Nate's pale eyes studied her in the dim light. "Are you okay?" The fact that he was sounded considerably concerned about her meant that she looked like the hell she'd just been through.

It also meant that he wouldn't push any type of conversation tonight if she played her cards right.

"I'm just tired," she sighed with downcast eyes; there was enough true exhaustion in her body that no playacting was necessary.

Nate's hand gently tipped her chin upwards and she was looking him in the eye when he made a soft suggestion: "Stay here." Before she could object, he added, "This has been a crazy night and you're obviously tired; just sleep here and we can talk morning."

As if talking was all that his mind had been entertaining.

Even though that thought made her want to scoff in his face, she nodded slightly in assent; she couldn't possibly do any more damage at this point.

She must have zoned out because the next thing she knew Nate was handing her his dress shirt. They changed in silence, her in the white button-down and him in an undershirt and a pair of boxer shorts. Once he had climbed into the large bed, she lay down beside him and faced the opposite way.

She didn't have the strength to resist when Nate scooted close and wrapped his arms around her. And even though she'd spent the better part of the last month sleeping next to Chuck, the way that Nate's chest rose and fell against her back made it impossible to relax.

Blair did slip off to sleep remarkably fast, though... considering how uncomfortable she was.

Whether minutes or hours had passed since Blair's eyes had closed, she couldn't be sure... but she didn't want to open them yet. The room was still dark through her eyelids, so something must have woken her prematurely.

Even in her post-sleep haze, she knew she wasn't in her room, or even her bed. Though the memory of last night was still foggy, the queasy feeling in her stomach said something was definitely wrong about the person holding her. The man's arms were too muscular and long to rest comfortably around her waist, his chest too hard against her bony shoulder blades, his body too tall to fit against hers as tightly as she liked.

Something had happened and she'd gone out of bounds.

Slowly, she opened her eyes to get a dim view of her surroundings... but her careful study of the shadows caused the previous night's events to come flooding back. As tears sprang to her eyes when she remembered what she'd done and what she'd lost, she had only one thought:

Run.

Carefully, she began to extract herself from Nate's hold, gently twisting her body around to escape. She moved slowly to lie on her back, but when she was no longer facing the opposite direction, she took in a deep breath of her ex-boyfriend's cologne. She'd not noticed how strong the smell was when she was kissing him, but now it was overpowering. Her stomach's slight queasiness gave a huge lurch at the scent, causing her to spring from the bed and run to the bathroom.

Blair retched into the toilet bowl until there was nothing left and then lay down on the cool tile until the nausea subsided. The marble against her face was an old friend in times like these... except it was different this time.

This time, it wasn't voluntary.

It had been awhile since she'd lost control like that; she'd always been careful because of her eating disorder. Could it have been something she ate? Thinking back, she'd only had some toast for dinner because she'd taken a nap and overslept. There wasn't any way toast could have given her food poisoning.

Or the thought of what a mess she'd made of her life? She had just been thinking about how wrong it felt in Nate's arms and since when did he start wearing that disgusting cologne?

The memory of that scent caused her stomach to lurch again, which led to some dry heaving into the porcelain bowl and answered that question. It wasn't Nate, but the smell of him that made her vomit.

What sense did that make?

She was massaging her stomach, trying to calm it, when her eyes fell down to where her hand rested. Her fingers stretched to cup her abdomen and her heart stopped as a tiny voice in her subconscious whispered the answer.

"No..." she breathed.

The thought started as if it was a droplet falling into a pool of water, gradually growing bigger as the ripples spread. Quickly, she began to tabulate things in her head, the date of the dance, the date of Thanksgiving, the date of her birthday, the date of her last...

She was late. Very late.

For someone whose menstrual cycle ran like clockwork, thirteen days was extremely late.

It was suddenly very clear why she'd been unable to control her emotions lately; saying things that she didn't mean, getting weepy at the drop of a hat, exacting revenge when it wasn't deserved. Mood swings were a classic sign of pregnancy and Blair had seen enough movies to piece together the rest of the signs.

Thinking about her actions over the past few weeks, how tired she'd been and how forgetful she seemed to be, she added those two symptoms to the list of things that meant she was more than likely carrying a Baby Bass.

Her eyes welled with tears, filling her heart with hopelessness. Sitting here on the bathroom floor, with Nate on the other side of the door, all she wanted to do was run to Chuck... but she couldn't. Picturing Chuck's face from the night before and how angry he must be with her, she knew he'd slam the door in her face.

But she still had to try.

Standing slowly, trying to ignore the slight sour sensation in her stomach, she made her way out into the main room silently to find Nate was still fast asleep. It only took a moment for her to gather her dress, shoes, and handbag. In another she was dressed and sneaking out the door undetected.

The elevator ride had been agonizingly slow - between the nerves and the movement, her stomach was still churning uncomfortably – but Blair was finally standing outside the door of 1812. Her hand was shaking as she raised it to knock on the thick wood and it took quite a bit of effort to make the knock loud enough to hear.

After a few minutes of silence, she tried calling his name through the door, but there was still no answer. Even more anxious than before, she reached into her tiny clutch and retrieved the key that she hadn't yet returned to him. She played with it for a moment, turning it over in her hand as memories of the day he gave it to her whirled through her head, she felt the tears beginning to fall as the door swung open.

In a few slow steps, she knew he wasn't there; the room was pitch dark so she reached for the light switch.

The room flooded with light and the sight made her knees weak, causing her to sit on the end of the bed: there were clothes everywhere, shattered glass, upturned bar stools and broken objects lying on the floor. Like a whirlwind of fury had torn the room apart and left nothing untouched in the devastation.

She clapped a hand over her mouth as the tears came pouring down her cheeks. The wreckage that surrounded her was nothing to what she'd just spotted: it was her headband still sitting on his nightstand... then there was a pair of her shoes sitting untouched on the floor next to the closet... and her spare change of clothes still hanging where she'd put them.

He'd destroyed everything he owned, but not touched a single item of hers.

She was sitting there, the destruction surrounding her blurred together, and then her eyes fell on where the mirror used to hang over the bar. Shards of glass still sticking from the frame, she remembered asking him about that mirror, remembered that a different one had hung in it's place the first night she'd spent here...

And then she broke into sobs so uncontrollable that her body was shaking with each gasp for air.

That was the second mirror he'd broken over her. The first on was destroyed so long ago that she'd almost forgotten it. She could see clearly in her mind the glass he'd been holding that first time she'd left him for Nate. Then she imagined the amber liquid that he'd been swirling in the tumbler splattering everywhere, the glass shattering the mirror after she'd broken his heart for the first time.

He'd been in love with her from the first and she only realized she loved him at the last.

Giving in to the sorrow draining her body and the tears overpowering her, she laid back on the bed. Curling up tightly, one hand resting over where their lovechild was growing inside of her, Blair cried herself to sleep with Chuck's name on her lips.

A/N: Yes, I did it. I went there... hope you like. :D