A/N:

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters.

We've reached the peak of the angst last chapter, I think. And when you reach your lowest point, there's no other way to go but up, right? =)

Anyway, this wasn't edited and was really rushed so I'm really sorry for any mistakes but I'm not feeling very well but I wanted to just post this now. =(

19

"And if you loved me... why'd you leave me?"

-o-o-o-

If Alex would look back at the most fucked up thing she's ever had to do her whole life, she wouldn't have to look back that far. She wouldn't have to look back at all, because her worst fuck up?It's happening right now as she drove away from the woman she swore she would never ever leave. She was driving away from Piper... she was driving away from home.

But the difference this time was she actually thought about this. It wasn't some slip up, or it wasn't caused by something that was out of her control. This time, she chose to do this. And she wasn't sure if that made it better or worse... that she had the option to stay, and yet she had chosen to leave.

One thing she was sure of, though, was the fact that she had to leave. She had to go before Piper would do something worse than what has already happened. Alex had thought about all of it, about where everything has come to. She had seen how Piper had started doing everything in her life for her... because of her. It was obvious how Piper trusted her with her life and that was something Alex could never allow to happen.

She was bad for Piper. She had ruined the Piper she first met, that person with hope, that person who still believed, even if she wasn't really aware of it herself, that there was still chance for her to have a life better than what she was used to. But Piper met her. And somehow, that was the start of her downfall.

So Alex left. Because it was the only way she could save Piper from totally ruining her life. Yes, it might look bad during the first few days, probably even weeks. But in the long run, this was what Piper needed. She had Nicky, Lorna and Red now. She wouldn't have to go through this alone anymore.

Some people may think that Alex was choosing the easy way out, but she wasn't. Because there was nothing easy in walking away from the only person she had ever given the chance to break her again after she's already been broken enough.

But she had to do it. She just had to.

So she drove, without any real destination. The road seemed endless and she knew that wherever she would decide to go to, it wouldn't really matter anymore. She was already lost anyway. So she kept going, trying so hard to think of anything else other than Piper, or the way she would look at her with so much love, or the way her scent would linger even after she's already left, or the way her mouth tasted against her own. She goddamned tried. But it was hell trying.

-o-o-o-

When Nicky came inside Piper's room and told her that Alex had left, Piper's first instinct was to laugh. Because clearly Nicky was just kidding, right? Alex leaving her would be the biggest joke ever made because Alex would never do that. She promised her she would always stay. She did. Right?

But Nicky's face didn't show any hint of humor. In fact Piper had never seen her that serious in all her life and that's when everything sunk in. Nicky wasn't joking. Alex had left and she was never coming back. That one person Piper thought would never leave her. That one person she thought was different from everybody else.

Alex had left and she was never coming back.

When the truth had finally hit her, Piper thought she was going to just break down and cry. Because that was the normal reaction when the person you had allowed your world to revolve around left. You were supposed to get hurt. But instead, Piper found herself feeling nothing. She stood up, not even acknowledging Nicky's questions about whether she was okay or not. She just walked past her, went straight for the door and started walking.

But still, she waited for the pain to come. She waited for it to seep through every fibre of her being and knock the wind out of her. With every step that she took, she waited. But it didn't come. All she felt was numbness and soon enough, she had unintentionally tuned everyone out. It was like she was walking in a spotless place, no people, no anything. It was just her and her alone.

Suddenly she felt a hand loop around her arm stopping her on her tracks, pulling her back to the reality that she wasn't alone and that she was supposed to feel at least something. But Piper couldn't bring herself to do so, and in some twisted way, she welcomed it... feeling nothing... feeling empty. Because she knew that if she allowed herself to feel even just the tiniest bit of the pain she was supposed to be feeling right now, there was no way she was going to survive that.

So when Nicky asked her one more time if she was okay and if she needed anything, all she gave her was a smile, even though the smile felt hollow... and unreal. She smiled. And then she started walking.

-o-o-o-

For Alex, the first day was tough. It was all drinking and crying and wallowing in self-blame and memories of Piper that just wouldn't go the hell away. But maybe it would get better. Eventually.

But the second day was much, much worse. The drinking wasn't helping anymore. The crying had stopped but it only made her feel worse because her feelings were getting bottled up inside her and all she wanted was to scream and break things and feel anything other than the excruciating pain she was currently feeling. But instead, she found herself lying on the hotel bed, the pain she felt on every part of her existence getting magnified by the minute.

And yet it was during the third day that Alex knew she was in hell. She started vomiting everything she would take in until she wouldn't even try to eat anything anymore. She didn't know if it was because of all the alcohol or it was still part of her going through withdrawal or it was from all her mixed emotions because of the realization that she might just have lost Piper for good. She spent almost the entire day slouched down on the hotel's bathroom floor, having lost all the energy to move. She didn't wanna move. It was horrible and she felt sick to her stomach but there was nothing worse than the fact that this was how her life was going to be from now on... a life without Piper.

On the fourth day, sleeping wasn't even an option anymore. Because even then, she was plagued by Piper through her nightmares. And every nightmare had been worse than the last, causing Alex to wake up screaming and crying and wanting all of this to just end only to realize that everything was just starting. So she had stopped sleeping... and it wasn't just because of the nightmares. It was also because sleeping meant having to wake up afterwards. And Alex just couldn't find any good enough reason to want to wake up anymore.

-o-o-o-

Nicky tried everything she could to get a reaction from Piper. Piper hadn't cried. She had not screamed or lashed out at anything. And Nicky wanted her to do all those things. She wanted her to cry or yell or break everything she would see. Because that would be a whole lot better than the Piper that sat unmoving in front of her right now. She was just staring straight ahead, looking at nothing in particular. Nicky would ask her things and Piper would just look at her as if she's looking at nothing. She would ask her to do things and Piper would just do it without any questions, without saying anything at all.

And then the withdrawal symptoms were back. Piper had started vomiting and shaking and sweating and Nicky, or sometimes Lorna or Red would be there to take care of her but Piper didn't seem to even care anymore. In fact, it was during those times when she looked as if she couldn't take anymore of the torture that were the withdrawal symptoms that Piper seemed to look better, more human.

Because that proved that Piper could still feel something. Because when Piper had gotten past the worst of all of it, when she seemed like she's past that point where she would itch for a shot of heroin or any drugs at all, that's when Nicky felt as if she's truly lost Piper. Nicky didn't realize that looking into someone's eyes would scare her one day until she looked at Piper's and saw nothing. They were blank and empty and she tried pulling her back but Piper had totally retreated from everyone.

Nicky thought there wouldn't ever be a day when she would hate Alex, but right then, she couldn't help but feel that towards her because right in front of her was the person that Alex had intentionally broke. And Nicky could see that Piper was broken beyond repair. Yes, she might survive the drug addiction, she actually might already have. But there was another addiction that Piper had and that addiction was Alex. And that was way worse because it was something Nicky wasn't sure Piper even wanted to get rid of.

Because Nicky would look at Piper and all she could ever see was a person who had truly lost all the will to live.

-o-o-o-

It took Piper exactly four weeks. Four weeks of not speaking. Four weeks of barely eating and sleeping. Four weeks of existing but not really living. It took her four weeks before she finally snapped.

"Wake up," Nicky not-so-subtly shook a sleeping Piper. She had been patient with her for the last four weeks but patience just couldn't do it for Piper anymore. So if being harsh was the way to do it, then she just had to. There was no way she was just gonna let Piper be like this for the rest of her life, like some pathetic person who depended her life on someone who couldn't care enough to stay. "Piper," she said a little more loudly this time but Piper still did not move. "Chapman, I swear to god if you don't get your ass up right this second..."

Then finally, Piper rolled over to lie on her back as she slowly opened her eyes. "What do you want, Nicky?"

It was the first time Piper had said anything at all ever since she got out of the hospital and Nicky was taken aback just by how little she could recognize Piper from her voice. It sounded hoarse and lifeless. "I want you to get up and start living your damn life again." Nicky sounded mad but still, her heart broke at the sight in front of her.

Piper sighed before rubbing her face harshly as she got up and went out of bed. She stood beside Nicky lamely stretching her arms as if to present herself. "There, you happy now?"

"Piper, you have got to stop doing this to yourself."

"I'm not doing anything."

"And that's exactly the whole problem! You're not doing anything!" Piper started walking towards the bathroom as if Nicky didn't say anything at all. "Piper, Alex is gone—"

Piper suddenly stopped walking. She still had her back on Nicky and Nicky could see how her body had tensed. "Stop," she said, her voice weak.

"You're the one who needs to stop! She left and she's not coming ba-"

"Stop it, right fucking now."

Piper's voice was dangerously calm and yet Nicky could finally hear a hint of anger laced with it. And Nicky knew that she only needed to push her a little bit more. "No! I am done watching you destroy yourself for her... for someone who doesn't even look like she gives a single fuck-"

That seemed to have done it for Piper because she had now turned around to look at Nicky, hands balled into a tight fist, her eyes on the brink of tears. "Do you think that this is what I want?! Nicky, Alex... left... me." Nicky could see Piper struggle to let out those words, as if voicing them out loud had finally made all of this so much more real to her. And she saw just how Piper shatter just a little bit more with every word. "She made me believe that she wouldn't, that she wasn't like any of them, but she left." Tears were now streaming down her face and somehow, Nicky was relieved to finally see some emotion in her eyes. "Do you understand how fucking hard it is for me to not think about any of that? I am... fucking... trying. I am trying so damn hard not to think about it even just for a second because if I did...?"

And that's when Piper finally let everything out. Her body shook violently as she cried, all her pent-up emotions finally breaking out of her like a train wreck. For weeks, she made herself believe that she was going to be able to get on with her life without feeling anything. She couldn't think about it. She couldn't let herself go there, because if she did, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to live through the pain of having left by the only person she really and truly believed would stay.

But she didn't realize that doing nothing and feeling nothing would even be worse when she would finally start feeling again. Because right now, all the pain and hurt she refused to feel were crashing on her and it was pure agony.

Loving Alex Vause may have been the best thing that's ever happened to Piper. But it was also the most devastating, heart-wrenching, soul-destroying thing and if there was one thing she could take back, it would be having met her because right now, she hated her so much because after everything that has happened, Piper still loved her so fucking deeply. And how she wished she could just stop.

All the while, Nicky held Piper. She didn't tell her to stop crying. She didn't tell her that everything was going to be okay. Because Piper needed to cry and Piper needed to be the one to make herself believe that soon enough, she was going to be okay. She had to reach that point of her life by really wanting it and not because somebody else needed her to. Piper had been doing almost everything for the sake of others and it was about time she started doing things for herself, too.

And by crying it all out right now, maybe she had just taken the first step in doing that.

-o-o-o-

Six months later...

"Yo, Chapman! How's it going?" Nicky entered Red's Diner with Lorna in tow as she approached the blonde who was currently seated behind the counter. "How's life as a manager treating you?"

"Hi!" greeted Piper with a wide smile adorning her face. It was officially her fifth day as the manager for Red's Diner, having been "promoted" by Red ever since she had started working on a second branch of her diner just outside town. "It's been boring so far, there's nothing much I've been doing for the past days and I'm bored outta my mind."

"Ahh, you'll get used to it," assured Lorna who then excused herself to go to the bathroom.

"You better be doing a great job at this. Because if you fuck this up and Red tries to kill you, you won't expect me to come to your rescue."

Piper chuckled at this as she nodded her head. "Thank you for the warning, I'll put that in mind."

Suddenly, they heard chimes as the door opened. Piper was about to greet the customer who had just arrived when her eyes suddenly widened at the sight. Her mouth stayed agape as she tried to convince herself that this was indeed happening and she wasn't just dreaming.

"Piper? Have you seen a ghost or something?" asked Nicky who didn't fail to notice the sudden change in Piper's demeanour. She then turned around to see who evoked that kind of reaction and there stood a bearded blonde guy who was looking at Piper with a familiar expression. Affection?

"C-Cal?" Piper whispered, only loud enough for her and Nicky to hear.

This caught Nicky's attention and her head immediately snapped towards Piper at the realization of who had just suddenly showed up. "Holy shit." Nicky looked back at the guy, who she now knew as Cal, Piper's younger brother. "I can take it from here, Piper. Seems like you have something you need to deal with right now."

Piper slowly approached Cal who seemed unsure on what to do. "C-cal, is it... it's you, right?" Piper asked apprehensively, not trusting herself to be a hundred percent sure about this. She hasn't seen her brother in years, after all.

"Yeah," Cal said, his lips finally curving up into a smile. "It's me. Hi, sis. Did you miss me?"

"Oh my God, Cal!" Piper had suddenly ran towards Cal as she pulled him into a tight hug. Her brother had wrapped her arms around her, too, and soon enough, there were tears, happy tears, that were streaming down Piper's face. They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other's warmth. It had been so long since they last saw each other and Piper had always imagined what it would be like if she saw her brother again but she never thought that it would feel this amazing. "I can't believe this," she said when they pulled apart, bringing her hands to cup his face. "It's really you. H-how did you find me?"

Cal seemed to pause for a significant amount of time before deciding to just shrug off Piper's question. "Does it really still matter? The important thing is I'm here and we're together again, right?"

Piper let out a chuckle as she wrapped her arms around her brother again. "Yes, oh my God I missed you so much." When she pulled away, she was suddenly filled with guilt and it didn't go unnoticed by Cal.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for leaving you—"

"Hey," Cal cut her off as he shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I don't want you apologizing for that, okay? You did what you had to do. And I'm glad that you did. I couldn't bear to look at you suffer another second because of th-them. It's all fine, Pipes. I'm just really happy to see you again."

"Me, too!" said Piper, feeling like a huge rock was taken off her shoulders knowing that Cal didn't hold a grudge against her for leaving. She felt so happy that it almost felt foreign to her. She's never felt this way in a really long time. "Come here, I'll introduce you to my friends."

But before Piper could pull Cal towards Nicky and Lorna, Cal held her arm to stop her. "Wait, Piper. There's someone else here with me."

"What?" asked Piper, surprised. Her heart instantly beat faster at the thought of who Cal might be with. "Who?"

"Stay here, okay?" Cal then walked out of the diner leaving Piper to exchange looks with Nicky and Lorna who looked conflicted about whether to be happy or worried for Piper. But Piper gave them both a smile as an assurance that she was fine, more than she's ever been in months now.

But that feeling was suddenly replaced by anger when she saw Cal come back in with the last person she ever thought she'd see him with. "What are you doing here?" Piper asked calmly but there was nothing calm inside of her. All her anger had suddenly come back, not expecting to see this person ever again.

"Piper, please let me explain," Danny took one step closer to Piper only for the blonde to back away.

"Don't you dare come near me."

"Hey," said Cal, who went to stand in between his two siblings. "Piper, I understand where you're coming from. Believe me, I do. But you had your own reasons for leaving and Danny had, too. Don't you think it's time we all forgave each other? We were kids and messed up. Now, we're all grown up and are on the right mind to know that we only have each other left. I mean, there's still Dad, but who the fuck cares, right?" He looked back and forth between his brother and sister. "Remember when we were kids and would always have the greatest times when the three of us were together? We can have that again, now. We can't let whatever happened in the past ruin what we can have right now."

Piper seemed to hesitate at first but seeing the hopeful look on her younger brother's face and the obvious regret in Danny's, she allowed herself to think of what Cal said. And she was surprised to realize that she actually thought he was right. How hypocrite would she be for asking Cal for forgiveness for leaving him when she couldn't forgive Danny for doing the same thing? And she couldn't also hide the fact that she missed her older brother, too.

Cal was right. They've been separated before and it wasn't even their own fault. Now they were all together and she wasn't about to ruin it just because of an anger that wasn't even really caused by Danny in the first place. So she exhaled one long breath as she finally decided. She could finally be happy. This was her chance. And she was damn well taking it.

"You're right." She then looked at Danny, and hesitantly gave him a soft smile. "It's good to see you again."

And with that, Danny enveloped her in a bone-crushing embrace, until Cal had joined in, too. On the other side of the room, Nicky and Lorna looked over with the biggest smiles on their faces, plus tears on Lorna's eyes, so damn happy that maybe Piper could really be genuinely happy again.

-o-o-o-

On the other side of town, Alex slowly walked her way to the place she never thought she'd be able to set her foot on again. At first she still tried, because that's what good daughters were supposed to do. But then in the end she realized that she shouldn't have had to come here so soon. She should have had a lot more time with her mom. And so the next visits had started becoming much harder than the previous ones. Until she just stopped coming.

But she was done being that coward little shit and she knew it was about time she saw her mom again. Even if it wasn't in the way that she really wanted. So here she was, standing over her mom's grave, holding a bouquet of flowers she knew her mom would have hated anyway, because she's just not the bouquet of flowers kinda gal. But still, Alex brought her some. Because she knew that her mom would have hated the flowers, but she would have loved the gesture. And that's what really mattered.

"Hi, Mom," Alex said as she sat down in front of the now-slightly dingy tombstone. She dropped the flowers carefully in front of it before she grazed her fingers over her mom's engraved name. "I'm sorry I haven't visited you in a while. It's just... there were a lot of things that happened. And I know that's no excuse but I..." Alex sighed as she retreated her hand from her mother's grave.

"I fucked up, Mom. I fucked up so bad. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Alex paused, thinking of all the things she should be telling her mom. There were a lot of things that needed to be said but right now, she was here to tell her good news. "But I'm not gonna bore you with all those things because I know you've been looking down on me all these time. Hopefully not vomiting angel dusts, yeah?" Alex let out a soft laugh, having imagined just how much her mom would have cringed at that.

"The reason I'm here is to tell you that I managed to put my shit together. May have been a little later than I was supposed to but I did it, right? I mean, there are still things I need to fix, and I don't know if I'm still going to be able to fix them but I won't stop until I think I've done everything. I know that's what you would've told me... if you're still here." By then, Alex had felt wetness on her cheeks, surprised that she had already been crying. She promised herself not to cry when she came here but maybe it had been too long since the last time she cried for her mom and that right now, it was okay to do just that.

"I miss you so much. I hate that you had to leave me so fucking soon. But I guess there are really just times when people have to leave. And I know you're just always there anyway so..." Alex then wiped the tears that had now settled on her cheeks, smiling slightly at the memory of the person she loved more than anyone else in the world. She missed Diane, but she knew she's never really left her side.

"There's another reason why I'm back. You know... Piper? You would have loved her. She's beautiful... and smart and kind... and so fucking hot." Alex chuckled but the smile on her lips was instantly gone the minute she remembered just why exactly she was here. "And I... I love her so, so much. But I think I screwed it up. And I'm here to fix it. And I'm scared. Because I don't know if she's gonna forgive me... and I don't know if I can take it if she won't."

"And I just... I just need you to tell me that everything's going to be fine. Because I'm freaking out. It's been way too long and I know a lot of things have changed since then but I don't know just how much of the change I can take. So... promise me you're gonna be with me all the way?" And then Alex waited for an answer. She's been waiting for an answer from her mom for so many years even though she knew she would never really get one. And it sucked how much it still hurt to not be getting any answers from her mom anymore.

Alex stayed for another hour, just telling her mom random stories. If she were still alive, she would have kicked her ass at every fucked up thing she's ever done but in the end, Alex knew she was gonna tell her that she still loved her anyway. And then she would hug her and assure her that one day, everything would fall on their right places and she then she would just laugh at all the things that made her cry before.

This wasn't as good as the real thing but being here, Alex felt as if it's the closest thing to that she would get. And it surprised her just how much it made her feel good. Her mom may not be with her physically anymore but Alex could still feel her every time and that's honestly more than enough.

So when she knew it was about time to face the other thing she's been trying to dodge ever since she came back, Alex stood up. "I'm gonna have to go now. I'll see you again soon, Mom. I promise it won't take years this time. Not even a week. I love you."

And so Alex turned around and started walking, wondering how on earth she was gonna face Piper not knowing just how much the blonde probably hated her right now.

But there was another person she had to face first. And knowing Nicky, Alex knew this was going to be tough as hell.

-o-o-o-

Alex has been sitting on Nicky's porch for almost half an hour and she was about to give up waiting for her to arrive anytime soon when she saw two familiar figures walking their way towards her. She was glad that they both were too focused on each other so they didn't see her immediately because it meant she could take a good look at them first before shit would hit the fan. It was great knowing that Nicky and Lorna were still together and she didn't realize just how much she had missed them, especially her best friend, until they were about a few feet from her.

But then it had to happen. It was Lorna who looked up first and it was also her who first stood frozen on her spot at seeing Alex. "Alex?"

"What? I'm Nicky," said Nicky who still hadn't looked away from Lorna to look at who her girlfriend was really talking about. But then Lorna gave her a look and it was all she needed to finally put her gaze away from her and see for herself what made Lorna look so worried and confused and somewhat happy at the same time. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Nicky," warned Lorna who gripped Nicky's arm tightly. "Hey Alex, it's nice to see you again," she said towards Alex giving her a wide smile. "I'll, uh, leave you guys to talk." Lorna then looked intently at Nicky before whispering, "Please be nice. I'm sure she has an explanation for what's happened. Just hear her out first." She waited until Nicky nodded reluctantly before looking back at Alex again. "I'll see you around?"

Alex smiled, "Yeah. It's nice to see you, too, Lorna." When Lorna has left, Alex stood up and put her hands inside her pockets. She's never been nervous talking to Nicky ever before, but right now she didn't even know what to say or how to react. But she knew that Nicky wasn't gonna say the first word so she did. "I know you probably hate me right now—"

Before Alex could even finish her sentence, Nicky cut her off immediately. "Probably?"

"Nicky, I just need you to listen to me. Please."

Nicky walked past her to open her door. She started walking inside and waited for Alex to follow but the tall raven-haired just stood still. "Are you coming in or what?"

When Alex walked in, Nicky couldn't help but take in how she looked. She hasn't seen her in more than six months and truthfully, she didn't expect to see her again. But Alex always had her way of surprising the hell out of her and Nicky was totally caught off guard. And it wasn't even the fact that Alex came back that surprised her the most. It was Alex looking better than she's seen her the last time. Of course, she wouldn't have looked in any way great before, given what was happening, but she also never really expected Alex to be better after leaving Piper.

Which brought Nicky back to reality. Alex came back for a reason. And she had a pretty good idea what that reason was. "I didn't think you'd come back." She paused, looking at Alex's reaction. "Well, I didn't think you'd leave either, so what the hell do I know, right?"

"Nicky, I had to leave."

Nicky knew she promised Lorna to hear Alex out but hearing her say that just brought back all the anger she'd been wanting to throw at her ever since she left. "You had to leave? Do you have any idea what you've put Piper through? She fucking needed you to be there. Jesus fucking Christ, she had just OD'ed! But you had to screw her over and left... without even saying a single fucking word. What are you expecting right now, Alex? Do you think you could just waltz back in in Piper's life and everything would be rainbows and butterflies again?"

"I'm not expecting anything, Nicky. I know I did a terrible thing. But believe me, I did it for her. And maybe I did it in the wrong way and that's why I'm here. Because I know that I have to apologize... to her... and to you. And maybe that will never be enough, but it's the only thing I can do for now." Alex waited for Nicky to say something but she just kept quiet, tapping her foot restlessly. "I'm sorry, Nick. I'm sorry that I had to leave Piper that way, and I'm sorry that you were left with the responsibility to fix the mess I made. I'm sorry for all of it."

When Nicky saw the expression on Alex's face, that's when her anger totally faded and came what she really felt when Alex left. Sure, she was mad, disappointed even. But she's known Alex all her life and she knew that her best friend would never do anything to intentionally hurt anyone, especially not someone she loved so much.

That's why when she left, she tried to mask her true feelings with anger even though what she really felt at that point was how scared she was. Alex left Piper, but Alex left Piper knowing she had some people who were gonna be there for her. And Alex left even though she knew that she was gonna have no one.

"Do you think that I'm only mad because you left Piper? Alex, you were going through some shit, too. Do you even realize how fucking terrible it felt to know that your best friend was going through hell and you couldn't even do a single thing about it? Did you even care about how we were gonna feel about you going through all of that alone?"

Alex suddenly felt like someone was choking her at her sudden impulse to cry. All those times, she's thought about Piper. About how she would feel, about how she was gonna go through all of it. But she's never really thought much about how Nicky would feel. And now she knew. And she felt horrible.

"I'm sorry... I didn't..."

"Of course, you didn't... you selfish bitch." But Nicky was no longer mad. Somehow, she sounded... relieved. Alex was fine. And she was here. "I know we don't do hugs... but I'm so fucking happy to see you right now I can't even—" But before Nicky could finish her sentence, Alex had walked towards her and pulled her into a tight hug. Nicky laughed out loud as she, too, wrapped her arms around Alex. "I'm glad to see you back, asshole."

-o-o-o-

Alex wanted to immediately see Piper as soon as she left Nicky's place. She missed her too much that she just couldn't wait to see her again, but she knew that if she went to her right then, she might fuck it up even more. So she decided to just go home first, process everything that's happened so far and prepare herself for what was still about to happen. She was excited to see the blonde again, but she also dreaded it.

Nicky's caught her up with everything that has happened ever since she went away and to say it broke her heart would be an understatement. But there were also certain things that Nicky told her she needed to hear from Piper herself so Alex didn't really get to know the whole story. And she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear everything.

It wasn't easy leaving Piper, but having to stay away from her for as long as she had, was even harder. Every day of her life, all Alex ever wanted was to go back to her and show her how much she loved her. But she knew that if she did that, all the pain that her leaving had caused would be worthless. So she stayed put. And waited until the right time to go back would come.

And that time was now. She had been standing outside Red's Diner for twenty minutes and she still couldn't gather the courage to just go in and be done with it. Multiple times, she contemplated on just going back home and postpone this for another day. But there was always a voice inside her head that kept telling her to just man up and do what she was supposed to do. She'd like to think that voice was her Mom's.

So another five minutes passed before she finally let out one long breath as she opened the door to make her way inside. And as she stepped foot inside the place that held so much meaning in her relationship with Piper, because this was where she first met her, this was where it all started, she saw Piper's back on her, seemingly giving out instructions to a young waitress she's never seen before. Alex's chest tighten at the sight and all she wanted to do right then was run towards Piper and envelope her in a bone-crushing hug. But instead, she just cleared her throat until she was met, for the first time in months, by those beautiful cerulean blue eyes.

"Maybe this is a bad time to say hi?"

-o-o-o-

SHOUTOUTS:

Again, sorry for the brief responses. My head is really killing me but I just really had to post this chapter now because I don't wanna keep you guys waiting long enough. Thank you so much, I really appreciate all the love for this fic.

Yoo byee, Yoo I don't know if you're still here but thanks anyway! =)

ManveerlovesVauseman, Hope you like how this chapter turned out. Thank you for another wonderful review! =)

Joey2920, Hey, you can stop crying now here's the new update =( Hugs and kisses, sorry for the pain. Haha. =)

Guest (emotions are all over the place), Wow, thank you for that review. I love it so much! =)

sara lance, Yes, the talk will happen soon. Haha! And yes, my cliff hangers and I, you can start shipping us now. =)) I may make them endgame, or not. With me, you never know. JK =)) But thank you again for another awesome review! =)

Guest (speechless), Wow thank you! I've never loved silence more. Haha. Have a great day as well! =)

jo michael, Hi, my friend! I hope you do know my style from now on. I like bringing out surprises! Haha. Anyways, thanks for the PM and I'm glad that we can now talk more often. That was an amazing review and I promise I will thank you properly for it when I send you another PM. Haha. =)

RANVEER, Hi! If I'm not mistaken this is your first time reviewing so I'd like to thank you for those amazing reviews. Hope you like this chapter. =)

Budda1127, I'm glad you liked the flashback. And that was another amazing review! I wish I could give out a longer reply but hey if you want we can always exchange PMs. Again thanks and sorry for not updating soon enough.

rach5878, I'm sorry if this fic is tiring you out. Don't give up on it just yet, the light at the end of the tunnel will soon appear. Thank you! =))

RJVause, Thank you for that amazing review and the compliment on the title. Haha. Anyway, great story! I've read it and I'm sorry if I didn't leave any reviews but it was amazing! =)

elliellie1, Well Alex did come back, not soon enough, but she did. That's gotta count right? Haha. =)

klaudiasurg, I don't even know why I love angst so much, haha. And by the way you don't need to apologize for your English. You're awesome and thank you for the review! =)

luveverythingtv, HEY THE UPDATE IS HERE! =)

samb06, Alex's side will be further explained next chapter and I hope you'd come to understand her by then. Haha! And yes, Piper stayed this time. =)

Guest (heart is shattered), Sorry, I will do everything I can to bring back the pieces of your heart together again. =(

Z-Tea, OMG YOUR REVIEW MADE MY DAY JUST SO YOU KNOW. Thank you so much, that meant a lot! =)

amciotola1, Thank you for that wonderful review. Although I must admit, I don't think I understood what you meant by HEA? Sorry if that was dumb. Haha.

vausemania, I hope you still managed to sleep after the previous chapter! Haha. Anyway, of course I wouldn't let Piper die. I'm not that terrible. Hahaha. Here's the update, hope it didn't disappoint.

WB79, Aw, you just reminded me of Vauseman breakup in Paris and now I'm sad. =(

huggerguest, Glad I can still surprise you. Haha. Sorry for making you cry, but thank you for still staying. =)

izzielg, I hope you'd come to understand Alex eventually, I'll explain her side more during the next chapter. Anyway, thank you for liking my story. I like you, too. Haha! =)

moanzs, I'm sorry! And to your friend, too. Haha! Yes, what is Vauseman without drama. =)) And I know right, Emmy's!

Guest (Oh Christ), And the angst is just about to go away slowly from now on. That's what I'd like to think. Just pray that the devil won't possess me again anytime soon. Haha! Nope, nothing stupid. Thank you! =)

FFChik, Not much anymore, I think. Haha. Thank you for another great review! =)

schillingarmy, Yes, the title should have served as a warning to y'all. Haha! Yes, the Emmy's was amazing! They looked beautiful and Tay's dance was the best! And I see what you did there with the "Single Ladies" bit but we can only hope. Haha. Thank you for the review! =)

Guest (Why), Because =)

Vausemaniac, You never fail to make me speechless with your reviews. I feel like I'm not worthy of such attention but still, thank you very much! You don't know how much this kind of review pushes me even harder to do better doing this. So thank you again! And I will never stop thanking you so I hope you don't get tired easily. Haha. Love lots! =)

Sheri, I'm so sorry for all the misery this fic has caused you, haha! But thank you for still loving it despite that. It really means a lot. You're very welcome and thank you for the review. Love ya back! =)

Guest (sad that Alex has left), I'm so glad you understand where Alex was coming from. Thank you for such a wonderful review! -)