A/N:

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters.

It has come to my attention that this story had been posted on Archive Of Our Own, without my permission. I'm really kind of sad that anyone would do that. I know that this fic may not be the best out there but I've been working hard on it for so long and for someone else to claim it as if his/her own is just kind of terrible. =(

But I couldn't find it there any longer so maybe it's already been taken down. Thank you to users vausegazm and sara lance for the help. You guys rock! I heart you to bits =)

Anyway, on with the show. The whole chapter is just on Piper's POV, by the way. Hope that's okay. =)

20

"If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

-o-o-o-

Piper was not prepared; she was really, really not. For months, she'd learned to push thoughts of Alex, or anything that could remind Piper of her, deep, deep down that she'd forgotten there might still be a chance, no matter how remote that was, that she'd one day show up again.

But that didn't mean that she hasn't ever thought of Alex, though. There were certain times when her thoughts would betray her and memories of Alex would slip her mind. In her defense, there were a lot of things that could remind her of Alex that it was hard to totally rid herself of memories of her. But she still tried, and more often than not, it worked.

Looking at Alex right now, Piper couldn't help but notice all the changes in her. Her hair was still as black as she remembered but the blue tips were no longer there and somehow, it made Alex look a bit older, albeit still as beautiful as Piper always thought her to be. Her glasses were also different. It was almost the same as the old one but Piper had paid too much attention to Alex before that she knew it wasn't the same. Her eyes then travelled further down and didn't fail to notice the new tattoo on her left wrist that Piper couldn't make up. For a brief moment, Piper wondered what it meant. But then again, it didn't really matter anymore.

All in all, Alex looked different. Comparing to the first time Piper ever laid eyes on her, this was no longer the Alex she knew who exuded so much confidence, the Alex she knew who carried herself so well that anyone would be intimidated by her. No, the Alex that was in front of Piper right now looked a lot less sure of what to do, she looked hesitant, and she certainly wasn't the cocky, confident woman Piper had met for the first time.

"Maybe it's a bad time to say hi?"

But then she spoke... and that voice, that was the same voice that could make Piper's knees weaken in an instant. So yes, Alex might have changed, but she was still the same person who made Piper's heart race in ways no one has ever done for her before. She was still the same person who was able to make Piper's world stop. Despite all the differences time had caused Alex, she was still Piper's Alex.

And Piper hated it.

Alex wasn't supposed to still feel like that same person. She wasn't supposed to feel like Piper's to claim anymore. Piper wasn't supposed to feel anything towards her at all anymore.

She's spent months trying to dig her way out of the hole she made that was Alex. It wasn't easy, it was pure hell and Piper almost gave up on everything trying to do just that. So this wasn't supposed to be happening. Alex wasn't supposed to just come back and take everything from Piper again. She was already doing fine. And Piper just couldn't let her change that just by standing in front of her.

So Piper turned her back on Alex, not bothering to say anything, because that was something someone who left without saying anything deserved back, nothing. She started walking away, praying that her legs wouldn't give up on her, when she felt Alex's hand wrap around her arm. Piper immediately jerked her arm away, unprepared for the electricity that ran through her whole being at Alex's touch. No, this wasn't really supposed to be happening again.

"Pipes."

And then she'd call her that and Piper could feel her control slip away just a little bit more. It's been way too long since she'd let anyone call her that because it just brought back too much memories, but she's never really thought about what it would do to her when it was Alex saying that again. And it terrified Piper, because she still loved the way the name rolled off Alex's tongue. And it had to stop.

"No, you don't get to call me that anymore," she shifted her body slightly so she could look at Alex. And it wasn't until then that Piper realized just how mad she was. She could feel the anger seep through every fibre of her being just by looking at her and she wasn't sure if this was because of what Alex did or because of how she still made her feel. Either way, she was mad, and she allowed herself to feel that because it was the only thing that made her feel safe around Alex.

"Please, just let me explain."

"Seven months too fucking late, Alex." Piper finally made it to the storage room but Alex had followed her. And now they were at an enclosed space, with no one else but the two of them. Piper was only realizing just how much of a wrong move this was. She felt a lot safer when there were people around. This, being in a room with very little space, alone with Alex, this was dangerous.

"Piper I had no other choice."

"No choice?! You had the choice to stay."

"Pipes... please, I'm sorry."

"No, Alex. You don't get to leave and just come back expecting everything is going to be fixed because you apologize. You don't get to take anything back. Not what happened, not what you did. And certainly not me." Piper could see how Alex was trying hard not to cry in front of her and she wanted to look away, but somehow, a part of her wanted to see Alex hurting, too, so she held her gaze. Until she couldn't anymore. "Get out, Alex."

"I just..."

"Leave. Please. That's what you do best anyway."

-o-o-o-

Cal and Danny had been trying to have Piper join their conversation but she had been acting like a total robot ever since she arrived the night before. Right when she got home, she immediately locked herself inside her room and didn't come out until hours later. Cal and Danny waited patiently, and did everything they usually did to cheer Piper up but none of those seemed to be working anymore.

"You gotta at least eat," said Danny, seeing that Piper hasn't had anything to eat since she came home. It was already the next day and Piper's mood didn't seem to have changed at all.

"I'm fine, I'm not starving," Piper answered nonchalantly, as she kept herself busy gathering her things and fixing her purse.

"Are you planning on telling us what put you in such a mood? You got out of the house yesterday feeling so cheerful and then you got home as a totally different person." It was Cal. He was never been good at taking conversations too seriously, no matter how much they needed to be taken that way. But they had Danny for that, for the serious stuff. He was here to make things light.

"I told you, I'm fine. Work has just been a little exhausting."

"You would think that years of not having seen each other would finally keep us from seeing through your lies, but guess some things never change, huh?" Danny looked at Piper intently, somehow having a slight idea on why she was acting this way. But he wanted to wait for her to open up, to actually want to tell them how she was feeling, and not just tell them because they forced her to.

For a second, Piper looked as if she would brush them off again. She opened her mouth to speak but then decided against it the same second. She then shook her head as she exhaled. "Just... someone I know from the past came back yesterday... and I was... I was caught unprepared. That's it." She then noticed how Danny and Cal looked at each other and seemed like they were talking in some communication she was a part of. "What?"

"Oh," Cal said briefly causing Piper to stop whatever she was doing. "We have to tell her," he suddenly said much to Piper's surprise.

"What?" She looked from Cal to Danny and recognized something in their faces. They were hiding something. "Tell me what?"

"It's Alex."

"Alex?" To say Piper was surprised would be putting it lightly. There was no way she could have mentioned Alex to any of her brothers and she was sure Nicky wouldn't do it, too. "H-how do you know Alex?"

Danny and Cal looked at each other again before Cal decided to answer Piper's question. "You asked me before how we found you. It's Alex, Pipes. She found us and brought us here."

"Wh-what? I don't understand. I mean... h-" Piper tried to formulate words but all her brain seemed to be focusing on right now was the fact that Alex brought her brothers back to her. It was the last thing she would have ever thought of and she didn't know how to react.

But then Cal continued and she was snapped back to the conversation. "One day she just showed up at my house and told me everything, but not before introducing herself to me, of course. Imagine my surprise when I realized that she just told me my sister was now batting for the other team. I wouldn't have believed her, but then again, she's super hot so I totally understood why you would hit—"

"Cal..." interjected Danny.

"Right. Well, you get what I mean."

"Danny?" Piper then looked at Danny, silently asking him to tell her that Cal was just messing with her. This was too much information to take in and she wasn't sure just what to make up of it. So she needed Danny to tell her that it wasn't true. She needed for it not to be true.

"It's true, Piper. She found Cal first and then they both looked for me together. And then we came here."

For a while, Piper did not speak. She tried to process what she's just learned, tried to understand why Alex did that. But she didn't need to think much further because of course, she knew. Back at the diner, when she realized that Alex still had the ability to make her feel the same way she felt for her before, it wasn't just because she felt it herself.

It was also because of the way Alex looked at her. It was still the same way she did before. Piper didn't want to acknowledge it, because if Alex still felt that, she wouldn't have left. But right now, there was no other logical reason why she would do this for Piper.

But then again, it didn't mean that Piper was just gonna forgive her because of it. "Well it doesn't change anything. She still left me."

"You left me," Cal immediately said.

"And I left you," added Danny.

Piper laughed humourlessly as she shook her head. "Just shows how fucked up everyone is in this fucking world."

"No, it just shows that everyone has their own reasons for leaving. I had a reason, and you had, too. Were they for the sake of just wanting to hurt those people being left? No. And I think it's the same for Alex. Did she tell you why she left?"

Piper paused. "No..."

"Did you give her a chance to tell you why she left?" Piper didn't speak. But knowing her, and her temper, Danny knew the answer. "Piper, I think that you should at least hear her out."

"Yeah, sis. I mean, I may not know her that well but the few times we've been together? I could see that she really cares for you, and probably even more than that. Hell, she looked for us, people who are intentionally hiding. It wouldn't have been easy. But she did, anyway. Because she knew you enough to know that us seeing each other again is something that you want. That's gotta count for something, right?"

"And she came back, didn't she?" Danny said again. She didn't know Alex that much but he agreed with Cal. She seemed like she really did care for his sister. "I'm not saying that you have to forgive her. You don't have to if you feel like she doesn't deserve it. But at least just listen to what she has to say."

Piper was about to say something when they heard the booming voice of Nicky as she strutted towards them. "Yo, Chapman!" She then stopped as all three Chapmans looked at her. "I mean, Piper. It's almost 9, chop chop. We gotta get there on time." Nicky could feel the tension radiating inside the room so she looked at Piper and squinted her eyes at her. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine, Nicky. Come on, let's go."

But before Piper and Nicky could get out of the room, Cal yelled. "Just think about it, sis."

-o-o-o-

Nicky had been waiting for Piper to say anything ever since they stepped out of her place but ten minutes later, she still hasn't spoken. "You do know I can see through your bullshit, right?"

"I've been waiting for you to say that ever since we got out of the house."

"So? Are you gonna tell me now what's wrong?" It took only a sigh from Piper for Nicky to realize what was going on. She didn't know when she started knowing Piper this much, but she kind of liked it. "Holy shit, you already saw her, didn't you?"

"You knew?! You knew that she was back and you didn't tell me?"

"Hey, don't look at me like that. It wasn't my place to tell you anything," Nicky raised both her hands at Piper's sudden outburst. She should really do something about that temper.

"A little warning wouldn't have hurt, Nicky."

Nicky looked at Piper and could see how bothered she looked, if that even was the right word for it. "Did you two talk?"

"More like yelled... on my part. I mean, fuck, Nicky. Seeing her there... again, it just... caught me by surprise." Piper shook her head at how she reacted by seeing Alex again. "Back then, I never thought that she would ever leave, you know? So I learned my lesson and never expected her to come back again. But she did, of course she did, and seeing her again... it was hard. I spent months trying to forget her. She couldn't just come back and throw all of those months away."

Nicky knew. She was there during all those months and she saw what Piper went through. All the more reason she couldn't help but think about how Alex got through all of it, too. But she couldn't say that out loud, so instead, she just nodded. "I get what you mean."

"But then my brothers drop me this bomb and now I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel anymore," Piper added shaking her head.

"What bomb? What do you mean?"

"She's the reason my brothers are here," Piper said softly, saying it out loud making it more real than the first time she heard it. "She found them..." her voice was way softer now, like she was just telling this to herself, "...for me."

"Shit, how did she even do that?"

"I don't know. I really don't."

As Piper breathed deeply to rid herself of thoughts of Alex, she and Nicky had finally stepped in the room they've both been visiting for a couple of months now. Piper thought NA wasn't a good idea at first thinking she did not need to share whatever was going on with her life to strangers. But Nicky was able to convince her by saying she's gonna be with her every week attending the meetings and that if she really didn't like it, they could stop whenever she wanted to.

And now months later, this had been a part of her life and she actually started liking it. Listening to other people's stories, knowing she wasn't alone in this was a big help. She and Nicky had made some friends and true to the organization's words, they had somehow helped each other stay clean.

"Fuck."

"What?" asked Piper as she looked towards Nicky. Her gaze was fixated at one direction and Piper's eyes followed wherever she was looking at and was surprised to see the last person she ever thought she'd see here. "Nicky, what the fuck is she doing here? Did you tell her we come here every week? Fuck, Nicky!"

"What, no! Do you not see my face?! I'm as surprised as you are. I didn't know she was gonna come, okay?"

"Do you think she's here because she found out that I come here every week?"

"Okay, Queen Narcissa, easy with the assumptions. Alex was an addict, too. Don't you think that may be the reason she's here?"

"Queen Narcissa?" Piper grimaced. "Really, Nicky? You couldn't have thought of something better than that?"

"Whatever. Look, I'm sure this is not about you, okay? As much as your narcissism is really appealing to me right now, I really think Alex is here because she thinks this is what she needs. But hey, if this makes you uncomfortable, we can just leave."

If she was being sensible, Piper knew leaving was the right thing to do. But she didn't know why she wanted to stay. She hadn't seen Alex in months and she knew, and always thought of it, that those months weren't easy for her, too. Maybe not because they were already apart (because that was Alex's decision anyway), but because of the drug addiction. She always wondered if she went back to using, and hoped that she didn't. But seeing her here, even if Piper wouldn't admit it to herself, she was relieved. Because it seemed like Alex got through it, too... just like she had.

"No, it's okay. I can't just leave because she's here. It's not like we have to talk anyway. Come on." They then made it to the chairs formed as a circle in the middle of the room. Piper saw Nicky gave Alex a slight nod and even though she couldn't see it, she could feel Alex's gaze on hers and she fought hard not to look back at her.

The meeting started like how it usually did until their leader had started asking who wanted to share. A guy, who Piper knew as Bryan raised his hand and started talking about how he got into drugs. Piper wanted to listen, really. But being aware of the fact that she was in the same room as Alex was distracting her. All she could think about was Alex, and why she was here and how she was doing.

Still, Piper refused to look her way. But then suddenly, she felt like everything just stopped when she heard the familiar raspy voice of the woman she hasn't heard speak in a really long time. Well, except for yesterday, which didn't really count since Piper was out of her zone then. Not that she was any better today, though.

"Hi, I'm Alex. I'm, uh, new here. But this whole thing is not new to me. I've been going to NA meetings for a while now back where I used to live but I've decided to come back home so here I am."

Piper's eyes were now on Alex and she was glad that the raven-haired wasn't looking her way. In fact, Alex seemed to be looking everywhere but at Piper.

"I started using a little more than a year ago. There were just certain things going on with my life that I couldn't deal with on my own, and I made the mistake of thinking that heroin would help me with it. It actually did, at first. I started forgetting and I thought that was it, that was the solution... for me to forget. But then reality smacked me right on the face and before I even knew it, I was losing everything, everyone, who mattered to me."

Alex was now looking directly at Piper, and Piper should have looked away but she couldn't. So she looked back at her, too, hoping that nothing in her face would give away how much she wanted, needed, to cry and scream right now. Thankfully, Alex broke the stare and decided to just look at her fingers tangled together instead.

"The only person who should have been enough for me was gone, in just an instant. So, I came to my senses and realized that I couldn't let this take over my life... that I had to do something for it not totally ruin me for good. So I checked myself into rehab and then started coming to NA meetings and now I'm here. I'm not saying I'm all okay now, I still have a long way to go. But I think it's a start and I wish I could go all the way through."

-o-o-o-

Right after Alex spoke, Piper's attention couldn't be brought back to anything anymore. All she could think about was that Alex went through all of that alone. She still couldn't understand why she chose to leave rather than deal with it together with Piper. She still couldn't understand anything but the mere thought of Alex suffering on her own was just too much for Piper to bear.

"Are you okay?" asked Nicky whom she only just realized she was actually with.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." She shrugged and kept walking, still unable to clear her mind from thoughts of Alex. She suddenly stopped and faced Nicky. "Nicky, you should go home with Alex."

"What? Why?"

Piper was worried of Alex, that was why. She knew there wasn't any reason for her to feel that way, Alex was probably even better than she was right now, but still she worried. But she couldn't admit it to Nicky, that even after all Alex has put her through, she still cared. "She's your best friend."

"Yes, true. But you're now my best friend, too. And I came here with you, so I'm going home with you as well. I'm sure Alex would understand."

They were suddenly stopped by the familiar voice of Alex behind them, causing them both to turn around. "Hey," Alex said softly, more to Nicky than Piper.

"Hey," said Nicky awkwardly as she shifted her gaze from Alex to Piper. For a few seconds, all were quiet. "Okay, this is not awkward at all." Nicky chuckled, trying to diffuse the tension that had now built up inside the room.

"Uh, Piper... can we talk?" Alex was now looking at Piper who still refused to look back at her.

"Alex..."

"Please? Five minutes," her voice was pleading, and that voice was something Piper knew she could never refuse.

When Piper didn't say anything, Nicky nodded to herself and patted Piper in the back. "I'll walk around for a while, just call me when it's time to go home. I'll see you at home, Vause."

Piper nodded and smiled bleakly at Nicky. Alex, on the other hand, just absentmindedly fixed her glasses, a gesture Piper noticed that seemed to have become a habit. She and Alex then went to a more private part of the room, somewhere unoccupied by anyone but them.

"I didn't know you were attending NA meetings, too," Alex started hesitantly.

"Well, now you do," answered Piper back, still not looking at Alex.

"Pipe—"

"Why did you leave?" Piper suddenly asked, and she noticed how Alex flinched at the sharpness of her tone. "You told me we were gonna go through all of it together. But then you left. I just... I've thought of it a thousand times, trying to make myself understand why you would do that. But I... I couldn't. I just come up empty every damn time."

"Piper, if I stayed I could've ruined both of us... for good."

"Bullshit! Alex we were ready to clean up our shit. I almost died for crying out loud."

"Yes! But do you really think we would have stood by that decision for long? Do you remember how much we were willing to ruin ourselves for each other? I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let you completely ruin yourself for me."

"I wasn't ruining myself for you, Alex. I pieced my life back together for you, remember? Before you, I was ready to live my life the best way I thought... alone and cut off from the rest of the world. But then you came along, and I thought maybe there's still someone who could make a difference in my life, someone who can prove me wrong about people always leaving. So I let you in."

Piper chuckled humourlessly, feeling so damn stupid for thinking that anyone could be different from all of those people she thought actually at least cared about her. But really, what the hell did she know?

"And you know that. But you also left, Alex. You left when things got tough. You left when you made a promise to me that you'd never do that. You left when you specifically made me promise to never leave you, too." Without being prepared for it, Piper was back to that day again, when she found out that Alex had left. She thought that she had gotten over it. She was doing so well for the last couple of months that she actually believed she was already fine. But it still hurt like that first day and she wasn't sure if it really would ever stop hurting.

"People in my life have come and gone, Alex. But you know what? You leaving was the absolute worst. Because you made me believe that you were different from all of them."

Alex's eyes were misty by then, and not even her glasses could hide all the emotions that she was feeling at that moment. "I know that we told each other that we were gonna get through whatever it was that we were both going through back then. But we were bad for each other, Piper. I helped you do heroin! And you let me do it, over and over and over again."

Piper could hear the pain in Alex's voice, see it in her eyes, and it was all she could take before the tears had started falling from her eyes. She could probably tell herself that it was what Alex deserved, to feel the same pain she felt and was still feeling up until now. But she would be fooling herself because Alex may probably hurt her in so many ways, but seeing her in pain would still be what'd hurt Piper the most.

"We were still addicts back then, Piper. You didn't wanna go to rehab, you wanted us to deal with it on our own. And I fucking knew that I couldn't do that. I knew that I was not strong enough to do that." Alex's voice had now gone uncharacteristically soft, her vulnerability apparent. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm so sorry because I was so fucking scared."

She then shook her head. "Maybe I could have done it another way, protect you from me, but it was the only way I could think of at the time. I'd understand if you don't forgive me. But I just really, really want you to know that I didn't leave just so I could hurt you. Because that's the last thing I would ever want to do to you. I'm sorry."

Alex had now turned her back on Piper and started walking away. A part of Piper wanted her to go, but another part, the part she wanted to listen to, didn't want Alex to leave just yet. It was all so fucked up, but she knew, that Alex was still her weakness. After all this fucking time. She was still her Achilles' heel.

"Alex..." Alex stopped and hesitantly looked back at her. Piper was surprised to see that tears had now escaped her eyes. She hated it when Alex cried. "I know what you did..." Confusion flashed across Alex's face, "...about my brothers," and then now, recognition... and surprise. Piper knew Alex didn't want her to know about what she did. "And I'm very grateful. So th-thank you. But... it still doesn't change anything."

Alex nodded. And then she was gone.

-o-o-o-

Piper did not see Alex for the next three days. She should have been relieved, because it's what she wanted, right? For Alex not to be back in her life again. Because that would have been easier... that would have been what was right.

But instead, she found herself looking everywhere wishing she would see Alex. She would go to work and pass by her house and she would linger just a little bit longer, hoping that she would at least see a glimpse of her. But there was none. She waited for Nicky to say anything, because she knew that they were keeping in touch, and even considered asking her herself, but she remained silent, keeping to herself just how badly she wanted to see Alex again.

The last thing she told Alex was that her bringing her and her brothers back together didn't change anything. But that was a lie. It changed a whole lot of things because that just proved that Alex really did still care. Piper knew Alex didn't do that just so she could get her back. If she did, she would have walked Cal and Danny to her herself.

But she didn't. Instead she asked them to keep it from Piper, wanting them to focus on the fact that they were back together again rather than on who was the reason for it. And thinking back to Alex's explanation on why she left, Piper could have refused to believe it, and just kept convincing herself that Alex was wrong, but she didn't. Because she now realized that Alex was actually right.

They were both self-destructing, going through some stuff they refused to acknowledge because all they could think about was that they had each other and that was all they ever really needed. But the thing was, all of those things they were going through, they needed to deal with them on their own.

Piper had to come to the realization that she shouldn't keep doing things for other people to the point that she was disregarding what was good for her, too. It wasn't about being selfish. It was about not being selfless. And she needed to learn that.

Alex, on the other hand, had to accept that she didn't have control over everything... that she wasn't the reason for every terrible thing that happened to anyone around her, that she didn't need to be accountable for all of it. They needed to figure out those things on their own.

And because of the pain of Alex leaving, Piper hadn't ever thought of those things before. But now she had, and it all kind of made sense. Alex leaving actually made sense. And maybe it was about time she acknowledged that.

-o-o-o-

"Hi," Alex said timidly as she approached Piper who had just closed up Red's.

"Alex?" asked Piper, surprised by Alex's sudden appearance. She wasn't expecting to see her today after a few days of her not showing up anywhere, but seeing her right now brought her a sense of relief, like somehow she'd been waiting for this to happen. And she was. Then she noticed the way Alex was almost swaying as she stood, trying to keep her eyes open. "Are you drunk?"

"No," of course, classic Alex, still unable to admit it when she's drunk. Suddenly, Piper was brought back to that first ever night she's talked to Alex and a rush of emotions washed through her. "Why are you still the one closing up? Aren't you supposed to be the boss now or something?"

"Why are you still drinking? Aren't you supposed to be staying sober now or something?" Piper immediately quipped back.

Alex then shook her head. "I'm not an alcoholic, Piper. Never was."

"Really? Could have fooled me the first few weeks after I first met you."

Alex then squinted her eyes at Piper, which Piper still found adorable by the way, a look of confusion, and surprise, on her face. "Are you actually concerned about me right now?"

"No," Piper answered as quickly as she could, hating herself for being caught by Alex. She still knows me so well, she then thought.

"Good. 'Coz I don't deserve that."

Piper felt her heart ache at Alex's tone, like she was completely convinced that Piper shouldn't be worrying about her anymore. "That's not..." Piper sighed. "That's not true, Alex."

But Alex just smiled and her smile was so sad that Piper felt as if her heart got pierced. "Can I walk you home?" And it made Piper laugh, because this was all starting to become all too familiar. "What's so funny?"

"I just realized that we've come full circle. We're back to square one." There was a hint of smile in Piper's face and she didn't know what was causing it but she just let it be. It felt nice to smile around Alex again. Although she knew that everything was still not okay, there was something in the air right now that made her hope that maybe they still could be.

"Does that mean we can start over again?"

Alex's face was hopeful and it made Piper's chest ache. She wondered if Alex was drunk enough to not remember all of this when she woke up the next day. Instead of answering, Piper started walking. "It's late, Al." She noticed the slip of the name but ignore it, ignored the rush of feelings it caused her. "Come on, I'll walk you home instead."

So they started walking, a little further apart than they were used to but close enough for Piper to feel Alex's warmth, something she hasn't felt in as long as she could remember. And it felt good. There was no point in denying it now, being close to Alex still felt good.

Right about a few steps later, Alex spoke, "I see what you meant by coming full circle. This feels awfully familiar."

And for the first time ever since Alex came back, Piper allowed herself to laugh. She turned towards Alex for a brief second and she could see a ghost of smile etched on her lips, too. She didn't realize how much she missed seeing that until she did and she was suddenly overcome with the urge to wrap her arms around Alex. But then again, things were different now and she knew she couldn't just do that. She shook her head at the thought.

Then they stopped walking. Before Piper could ask why, she looked around and saw that they already reached Alex's house. For a while, it was obvious that they both didn't know what to do.

Then Alex spoke again. "I didn't... I didn't bring your brothers to you so that you would take me back. I brought them here because I know that it's what's going to make you happy. And that's all I've ever really wanted. That's all that should have ever mattered. You... happy."

Piper was now looking straight into Alex's eyes and she could see them filled with regrets. It brought her a surprising need to cry, at how everything turned out for both of them. They loved each other too much. Was that where things went wrong, loving each other more than they loved themselves?

Suddenly, Alex was so close to her, their faces merely inches from one another. "I'm sorry I failed at that. I'm really sorry for everything, Piper." Alex then raised her arm to cup Piper's face. She lightly caressed her jaw with her thumb and Piper felt her breathing start to slow down at Alex's touch. She leaned in to her hand and she almost sighed, at how good it felt. "Good night." She kissed her on the cheek and before Piper could figure out how she should have reacted, Alex was back inside her house, leaving Piper to think that maybe it wasn't really too late to fix this after all.

-o-o-o-

SHOUTOUTS:

WB79, It's okay, it always bring me smile in the end anyway. =) And sorry for making you sad, too. Haha! Yes, Nicky should be given the best friend of the year award, I like her very much. =)) Thank you for the review! =)

klaudiasurg, I don't know how you'd react to this chapter then after your last review. Haha. But hopefully you'd be understanding of Alex now that she had explained, or not. It's okay either way =)) Thank you! =)

ManveerlovesVauseman, There's a reason why Alex was gone that long and now you know and hopefully you find it satisfying enough. Haha! Yes, I'm happy that the angst is now over, too. That thing is exhausting to write! Anyway, thank you for the lovely review! =)

vausegasm, Hi, girl! So that was probably the nicest review you've ever left on m updates. But that doesn't mean I don't love the other ones just as much! Haha. Thank you! Not only for the review but for removing me from that scary list you seemed to have made. ILY2 and hey I gave you warning about the update this time, hopefully you like this just as much as the previous one. And yeah, no more playing with your feelings =))

Budda1127, Hopefully your dilemma would be fixed by this chapter, let me know what you think of how Alex and Piper are dealing with things now. =) And no, no other women. That sucked too much in season 3 and I really don't wanna do that again here, so you're safe on that part. LOVE LOVE LOVE your review, too, so thank you! =)

DR75, Wow that really means a lot to me, so thank you very much! You're welcome but I really think the gratitude should be coming from me not just for the review but for reading and appreciating this story, so again thank you. =)

samb06, Here's her explanation! Is it good enough? Haha. And yeah, I had to use that line, it just seemed perfect for it. Thank you I'm glad you loved the previous chapter and thank you for the kind words. =)

sara lance, No, not that much. Haha! But hey, no cliff hanger for you this time. =) Hm, they're having progress. Slowly but surely, right? =)) The fluffier parts have to wait for just a little bit more I'm afraid. Thank you! =)

amciotola1, Ohhhh, thank you for the HEA thing. Now I know! Haha. Hopefully this chapter was a lot less painful than the previous one. Thank you for the review on the previous chapter. =)

vausemania, Thank you that was one hell of an awesome review! I actually read your review a couple times and all those times I still smiled like an idiot. Haha. So again, thank you! Here's the new chapter hope it didn't disappoint. And now you know why she was gone for that long. =)

Marauder-Lu, I'm glad you did, despite the cliff hanger =) And thank you for the kind words about Alex's interactions with Diane and Nicky. Thank you for the review! =)

elliellie1, Vauseman will happen soon, eventually. Haha. Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked the previous chapter! =)

RJVause, Hopefully your heart can still take much more. And your review was so cute, especially at that speechless part, haha! Thank you so much! =)

schillingarmy, It's probably now pretty obvious that I love cliff hangers as much as I love Vauseman. Haha! And yeah, I couldn't help myself quoting that line of Alex, it just seemed to fit perfectly. Thank you very much for that review! It's nice to know how well you're all receiving this and that's all the medicine I need whenever I'm not feeling well! =) Have a nice day as well, my friend!

FFChik, Yes, it would be hard for Piper but then again, maybe her love would be stronger? Haha. Thank you for another wonderful review! =)

Joey2920, Haha! The cliff hangers actually really make me happy, they keep things interesting, don't you think? But no cliff hanger this time! Sorry if still no Vauseman fluff. Maybe next chapter? Or right after that? =))

huggerguest, Thank you very much, I felt better afterwards just by reading your lovely reviews! And anyway, here's the answer to your questions on your last review, hopefully it's satisfying enough. And I hope you liked the surprise about Alex's brothers' appearance, too. =)

Sheri, Hey no cliff hanger this time! Haha. Wow, that is so sweet! Hopefully no going to rehab for that anytime soon. =)) Thank you!

izzielg, Yeah she's back! Hopefully her explanation is satisfying enough. Haha. And of course, I will never forget you! I love you all for me to do that. Thank you! Sorry I couldn't post sooner. =)

Guest (glad that angst is slowly being lifted), Yes, writing too much angst exhausted me, too. So probably bye bye angst now. Here you go here's the new chapter, hope you like it! =)

jo michael, Hi, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked how it ended despite the cliff hanger. Haha. And your reviews never fail to amaze me, too so thank you again! Lots of love and hugs too! =)

Vausemaniac, Hey, you're very welcome! My replies don't compare to the great reviews you're always leaving on my updates, so thank you again! And yeah, I didn't want to drag the story by them not seeing each other because we all know that's where they'd end up soon, anyway. Your review is as amazing as always and as usual, I'm left speechless. Although I'm glad you liked how I used that line from season 1. And no moving on from each other (just yet or ever, we never know haha) Again, thank you for the review and have a wonderful day!