Sorry for the delay…this was a tough one for me and I really struggled through some of it. I just wanted to make sure I did it right. There may be a trigger warning in this one so please be aware of that…also, there is some mild violence…Thanks again for reading and reviewing…until next time… have a great week.
Chapter-26 Never Let Me Go
"Maura, sweetheart…this isn't going to work, my legs are too long." Jane said as she tried to untangle herself in the backseat of Maura's BMW.
Maura leaned her forehead against Jane's shoulder and let out a long, frustrated sigh. She wasn't ready to move from Jane's lap, nor was she ready to give up on their evening together.
Pushing a lock of honey-blonde hair away from Maura's face to tuck it behind her ear, Jane tried to smile reassuringly. "I appreciate the creative effort though." She said as she moved to run her fingers through Maura's silky, soft hair. "I think next time we need a car with a bigger backseat. I gotta stretch, my legs are falling asleep." Jane gently shifted Maura off of her lap as she opened the door to allow her legs to extend out in front of her.
"I'm sorry…I just wanted to be alone with you…" Maura was almost pouting which intrigued Jane as she watched Maura's bottom lip poke out in an uncharacteristic move.
"Come'ere…" Jane reached into the backseat from where she was now standing to help pull Maura out to stand beside her. "I'm not used to seeing you pout like this." Jane leaned in to lightly kiss Maura's pouting mouth. She shut the door and leaned against it, pulling Maura close to her.
"I'm not used to being denied what I want for so long." Maura said as she reached into Jane's open jacket to wrap her arms around a thin waist. Snuggling into the warmth she found there, Maura buried her face in Jane's neck.
Enfolding Maura in the material of her jacket, Jane welcomed the feeling of their bodies pressed together as their heat prevented the cool night air from invading their space. She could feel Maura's hands move over her back, rubbing up and down in an attempt to generate more heat. Resting her chin on the top of Maura's head, Jane let out a frustrated sigh to rival the one that Maura had let out earlier.
They stood like that, wrapped up in each other for a while, neither saying anything as Jane gently rocked them back and forth. It was a comfortable silence that surrounded them as they basked in the feeling of each other's warmth.
"You know, just being able to hold you like this…to feel you so close to me…it's enough for now." Jane's voice was quiet as she continued to sway with Maura in her arms.
Maura settled her cheek against Jane's chest and listened to the steady beat of the heart beneath. Smiling at Jane's words, she snuggled closer to the warmth she found in Jane's arms. Eventually the air around them turned misty as a light drizzle began to fall driving them back into the car.
"Your birthday is coming up soon isn't it?" Maura asked as she started the car to get the heat going.
"Yeah…on the twenty-fifth, just seventeen more days to go…" Jane tilted her head to the side so she could see Maura better in the dim light from the dashboard. There was a contemplative look on Maura's face as she appeared to be counting in her head.
"That's on a Friday isn't it?" Maura pondered aloud.
"It is…my eighteenth birthday is on a Friday, and before you ask…I'm all yours that night. I already convinced my Ma to have our family thing on that Saturday…" Jane grinned over at Maura who was now grinning back.
"Does that mean I get you all to myself?" Maura inquired as she raised an eyebrow in question.
Jane nodded vigorously as she took Maura's hand in hers bringing it up to kiss the back of it. With a gentle squeeze, Jane allowed their hands to fall into her lap, not ready to relinquish the connection yet.
Maura squeezed back before interlacing their fingers together enjoying the feeling of Jane's hand in her own. It was one of the things she had missed the most, the feel of Jane's hands against her skin. Since Jane had been playing baseball she had developed callouses on the upper part of her palm just at the base of her fingers. The once soft surface was now slightly rough and the feel of that roughness against Maura's skin caused the most delectable tingling sensation to spread throughout her body.
"I guess I'd better get planning then huh…?" Maura leaned over to place a quick kiss to the corner of Jane's mouth. "Because I'm not going to share you with anyone…" Pulling back, she smiled at Jane as her mind started on sorting through the details of the plan she had already mapped out. Even though she already knew what she was going to do, she hadn't quite decided when until that moment. Jane's birthday would be the perfect setting for a night she hoped they would both remember for a long time. The attempted make out session in the back of her car had been a struggle, but it wasn't actually what Maura had planned. It had merely been conceived out of frustration. Her thoughts must have given her away because as she contemplated because she almost missed the smirk that appeared on Jane's face.
"That good huh?" Jane laughed at the intense look of concentration on Maura's face.
"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." Maura snapped out her reverie.
"You know patience isn't one of my strong suits…" Jane suddenly got serious as she reached out to cup Maura's cheek in the palm of her right hand. She quietly studied Maura before leaning forward to place yet another soft kiss on the lips she had been craving for way too long. It was a slow kiss as Jane savored the feeling of Maura's lips on her own and the sweet taste of strawberry lip gloss. As the kiss deepened, she could feel Maura shifting slightly to gain better contact allowing their tongues to meet in a delicate dance as they moved within each other's mouth as one.
With a sudden intake of breath, Jane pulled back reluctantly. "Now…I suggest you feed me before I get cranky…" She tried to smile even though she was on fire with the need to touch and feel Maura surrounding her.
With a nod of her head Maura let go of Jane's hand so she could shift the car into drive. "As you wish my Sweet Jane..."
"Hey…I thought you slept through that movie." Jane seemed surprised that Maura would remember.
"Maybe it just slipped into my subconscious…" Maura tried to reason. "But then again…maybe I heard everything because I wasn't really asleep."
All Jane could do was shake her head at Maura's comment and laugh as they headed to dinner.
Maura pulled Jane's letterman jacket tighter around her to ward off the cool air as she sat in the late afternoon sun watching the game. Even though it was mid-March already, it was still chilly enough to wear a jacket and Maura was more than happy to be wearing Jane's. She inhaled deeply the scent she had come to recognize as Jane's, snuggling a little deeper into the soft leather.
The stream of light from above dimmed as a cluster of clouds passed by shading the ball field momentarily causing Maura to look up at the sky. The threat of rain was slowly becoming more of possibility as more and more clouds rolled in across the horizon. As Maura sat in contemplation, she had the sudden feeling that she was being watched. It was an uncomfortable feeling as she looked around in an attempt to find the source of her discomfort. Her eyes scanned across the field not finding anything or anyone she could identify as particularly menacing.
It was already the sixth inning and they were winning by two runs as Jane took her position at shortstop between second and third base. She had seen the one person she had hoped she would never see again. It should have occurred to her that he would be on the baseball team for Northside, but it was still a surprise to find that smug look directed at her from across the field. The feeling of Giovanni earlier in the dugout bristling next to her at the sight of Joe had her feeling more confident, knowing she wasn't alone this time if he decided to push her again.
As Jane readied herself for the first batter, she chanced a glance over at Maura. Seeing Maura wrapped in her oversized letterman jacket caused Jane's stomach to flutter because she knew that when she got it back it would smell like Maura. With a sigh of longing, she turned her attention back to the game just as the ball glanced off of the bat. It bounced twice before landing in her glove with a solid 'smack' before she released it like a bullet towards first base resulting in the first out of the inning. A couple of pats on the back later, Jane readied herself again.
With an intense look of concentration on her face, Jane watched Joe step up to the plate with the attitude of a major league hitter. He took the first two pitches as strikes before adjusting his stance slightly culminating in a base hit.
Jane did her best to watch him out of the corner of her eye as he slowly inched off of the bag towards second. It wasn't until the sound of the bat rang out and the ball headed between first and second that Joe took off. Jane watched as the second baseman scooped up the ball and turned to throw it to her as she headed towards second base. She had expected Joe to slide, but what she hadn't expected was that he would do so with his cleats up aiming at the outside of her leg. When she caught the ball, she touched the bag before trying to jump up and over the sliding body hurling straight at her. Unfortunately it was too little too late when she felt the hard metal and plastic make contact with the side of her calf. Even though she had half expected it, the impact still knocked her off of her feet.
"You're out…" The umpire shouted as Jane hit the ground with a loud thud knocking the air out of her. "And you're out of the game for un-sportsman like conduct." The man pointed towards the visiting locker rooms.
"Whatever…" Joe stood up to dust his uniform off. "Fucking dyke…" He spat on the ground next to Jane as he passed her on his way off of the field.
"Sorry about that Rizzoli." The umpire said as he helped her to her feet. "You okay?"
"I think he got me with the cleats…" She said as she reached down to feel that the outside of her sock was already wet from the blood that was seeping through.
"Time out!" Coach Conner shouted as he headed towards Jane. "You played a good game today…head to the locker room to get cleaned up and put a bandage on that." He said giving her a pat on the back.
With a curt nod, she turned to give a wave to her teammates as she gingerly trotted off of the field.
Maura had watched the scene unfold before her eyes with a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure what had happened until she saw the slow bloom of red spread across Jane's white sock on the side of her left leg that she realized Jane had been injured. Without any thought to what she was doing, she jumped up when she saw Jane heading towards the locker room to follow her.
"Mother fucker!" Jane hissed as she threw her locker open. Even though she wasn't hurt badly, she was still pissed she had to leave the game early. "Son of a bitch just can't play fair." She dropped down onto the bench with a huff. Kicking her shoes off, she reached down to peel off her blood soaked sock only stopping when she heard Maura coming up behind her.
"Here, let me help you." Maura moved around to kneel in front of Jane. As carefully as she could, she pulled the sock the rest of the way off and studied the red, punctured skin underneath. "It's going to bruise."
"No shit…I'm gonna have an imprint of that assholes size twelve on my leg for a week." Jane said through clenched teeth as Maura ran her fingers over the small puncture wounds before applying pressure to stem the flow of blood.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you, but I need to apply pressure to stop the bleeding." Maura flinched at Jane's harsh words.
"No…I'm sorry…I shouldn't take it out on you." Jane reached for Maura's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "The first aid kit is in that desk over there…" She pointed towards the desk across the room.
Maura looked over her shoulder to see where Jane was pointing before she let go of Jane's leg. The bleeding had slowed significantly so she decided it would be best for Jane to clean it before she bandaged it up.
"Why don't you take a quick shower and get cleaned up before I put the bandage on." Maura stood up and ran her fingers through Jane's sweat tangled hair. She could feel the anger radiating off of Jane in waves as she continued to gently stroke Jane's dark hair, pushing it away from her face.
Looking up into Maura's calm face, Jane tried to smile but could only manage a crooked grin. "That guy just can't seem to leave me alone…" She said as she looked down at her leg.
"Is he the same guy that gave you the bruised ribs?" Maura reached down to cup Jane's chin, tilting her head up when she looked away.
Jane just nodded as she took comfort from Maura's touch on her face. She knew that Maura didn't really understand the whole story or what had happened between her and Joe. It wasn't something she was eager to share, so she just pushed herself up from the bench and wrapped her arms around Maura.
"I guess I'll go take a quick shower now…" Jane said before she released Maura from the quick hug.
"I'll get the stuff from the first aid kit and meet you back here." Maura turned to retrieve the first aid kit.
Ten minutes later, Jane hobbled back to the bench wearing just her sports bra and underwear. Her wet hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her skin was still damp from the shower. The sight caused Maura to falter slightly as she tried to gather what she needed from the open first aid kit sitting on the bench next to her.
"Here…put your leg up here so I can clean it with the antiseptic before covering it." Maura patted the spot on the bench where she wanted Jane to put her leg.
Jane straddled the bench and put her leg up for Maura to examine. "How's it look Doc?"
"I think you'll live…" Maura grinned as she dabbed the small cuts with a cloth soaked in peroxide. "Although I think you're lucky. You only have two puncture wounds…it could have been worse. You will have some significant bruising however."
Jane flinched when she felt the sting of peroxide on her cuts. She watched as Maura carefully cleaned and then covered the small holes that were no longer bleeding.
"Don't be such a baby…you've had worse." Maura said when she noticed Jane's grimace. Leaning forward she placed a quick kiss on the frowning lips as she gave a gentle pat to Jane's now bandaged leg.
Before Maura could stand up, Jane grabbed the front of Maura's shirt pulling her back down for another kiss. "You know, if I wasn't so damn tired…I'd say this would be the perfect time to act out that fantasy of yours."
"Umm….the thought did cross my mind…" Maura murmured against Jane's lips. "But it can wait…"
"But what if I can't?" Jane nibbled at Maura's bottom lip as she hands slipped up and under the back of Maura's shirt.
"It isn't nice to tease Jane, besides you said you were tired…" Maura reached behind her and pulled Jane's hands from wandering any further. "Now finish getting dressed. I'll wait for you outside and we can go get a pizza or something with the guys if you want." She pressed another kiss to Jane's mouth before standing up.
With a shrug of her shoulders, Jane conceded her defeat. "'Kay…can we get pepperoni?" She batted her eyelashes in an attempt to sway Maura.
"I suppose, but you have to have a salad too." Maura smiled down at Jane.
"Humpf…salad scmalad…" Jane huffed as she pulled her t-shirt over her head. All Maura could do was laugh at Jane's antics as she headed out the door to wait.
Leaning up against the wall outside the locker room, Maura allowed her thoughts to wander as images of Jane in her sports bra and not much else flitted through her mind. It had been tempting to take Jane up on her suggestion, but Maura could see that Jane was exhausted. She could see it in the dark rings that had begun to form under Jane's eyes as a long week of practice and games had taken its toll on her girlfriend.
A low rumble of far off thunder echoed in the distance causing Maura to look up at the sky. The fading blue of the afternoon had turned into an almost iridescent white mixed with wisps of dark clouds as the threat of rain and thunderstorms loomed overhead. There was stillness in the air, the kind that held a strange foreboding that Maura couldn't quite identify. With a shiver, she tried to dismiss the feeling but the unknown threat continued to pull at the corners of her mind.
A long, slow sigh escaped Maura's mouth as she closed her eyes to try to think about her plans for Jane's birthday to distract herself. A small smile curved her lips as the anticipation of what was to come caused her stomach to flutter. But as she stood there quietly contemplating, she frowned as that feeling of being watched returned. When she opened her eyes, she was surprised to find herself looking at the guy that had hurt Jane earlier on the ball field.
Standing in front of Maura was the tall, muscular frame that belonged to the person she only knew as 'Joe'. He was leering at her with a mixture of hunger and contempt and it caused her straighten up from her relaxed posture. The strange feeling of foreboding returned a stiff breeze started to stir around her as if to warn her of what was to come.
As casually as he could, Joe looked around to see that Maura was alone at the moment and his leer turned into a smug smirk as he started to walk towards her. He felt a surge of power rush through him when he saw the fear in her eyes as he got closer.
Maura recognized the predatory look directed at her and it caused her heart to beat faster as she looked around for someone, anyone to intervene. It hadn't taken long for Maura to find herself eye to eye with someone whose intent was written all over his face.
"She's left you alone…" He smirked. "Not a good idea…anything could happen."
All Maura could do was blink a few times as her mind tried to process what was happening.
"I can see why she's so protective though…" He mused as he stepped closer. Reaching over Maura's shoulder, he placed his hand on the brick wall behind her leaning even closer so their faces were mere inches apart. "But what I don't get is what you see in her when you can have someone like me show you what you're missing…" He pressed himself against her, rocking his hips in a suggestive manner.
It took a few seconds for Maura to realize what he was implying. The shock of what was happening had her frozen as he continued to move against her. The first drops of cold rain drew her attention away from the brute that was advancing on her. It was as if everything had slowed down before her as each drop of water that fell from the now darkened sky rolled down her overly sensitized skin. The cold droplets almost felt like fire biting at her, stinging her into action. When he reached over to brush her hair away from her neck with the intent of kissing her, Maura awoke with a fury. Exploding into action, she roughly shoved him off of her.
"Oh I don't think so darlin'" Joe hissed, but before he step closer to her, Maura balled her hand into a fist around her thumb and swung with all of her strength.
Maura felt a stab of pain the instant her fist made contact with his jaw. Although it hadn't been hard enough to hurt him, it had been hard enough to draw a light trickle of blood to pool at the corner of his mouth.
Reaching up to rub the spot where Maura had made contact, he glared at her as he advanced on her again. "You'll pay for that bitch…" He sneered as he roughly grabbed her face and pressed his mouth to hers in a hard kiss.
When Jane stepped from the locker room, she was surprised to find that it was raining at a steady pace. The cold air around her moved with a purpose causing the rain to fall at a slant and into her face. She pulled her hood over her head to stop the water from running into her eyes, making it hard for her see. When she exhaled, a plum of white floated out of her mouth and over her head like a puff of smoke. She thought that maybe she heard the distant sound of thunder shaking the air around her causing her shiver against the now wet cold clothes she was wearing. Her only thought was to find Maura so they could get dry and warm again.
Jane heard it before she saw it, the sound of flesh hitting flesh as she came around the corner. What she saw blurred her vision with rage as she dropped her bags and took off at a full run. She lowered her shoulders as she braced herself for the crash of her body against his. Even though she knew it was going to hurt, she felt a surge of pleasure coarse through her veins knowing she was going to take him down.
The impact was so hard that both Jane and Joe flew to the ground in a crumpled heap of tangled bodies. Jane struggled to get the upper hand as the rain started to fall in earnest, making it difficult to get her hands on something solid. Joe fought back, but halted when Jane got a knee between his legs and pressed hard drawing a groan from him.
"Don't you…" Jane's fist made contact with his lower back. "Ever…talk…" Another fist hit causing Joe to draw his legs up to protect himself. "To her…again…" It wasn't until she heard the sweet sound of a nose breaking that she halted.
As the rain continued to fall, it washed away the blood that was now flowing freely from Joe's nose. Jane grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling his head up off of the ground so they were eye to eye. She realized she needed to do something that would get him to leave them alone for good and seeing the hate and loathing that was staring back at her she made a decision.
"If I ever catch you around Maura again…" She whispered into his ear. "I will make sure that you disappear forever…and I know just the person who can make it happen…" She hissed between clenched teeth as she shook him for effect. When he smirked at her she knew what she had to do. "Does the name Paddy Doyle mean anything to you?" Again she whispered so Maura wouldn't hear. When she pulled back so she could look him in the eyes, she saw his eyes cloud over with fear and uncertainty.
Joe looked into Jane's eyes and saw all the truth he needed to see. With a quick nod of his head he acknowledged what she had said.
"Get the fuck outta here before I change my mind…" She growled as she pressed her knee harder into his groin to get her point across.
When Jane felt the bulky body beneath her move up and away, she leaned her head back to allow the rain to wash away the strain of the moment. Running her hands over her face and then over her hair she blew out a long held breath as the cool air around her caused her to start shivering again, or maybe it was the just the adrenaline that was coursing through her body. As she knelt there, soaking wet and shaking it dawned on her that she needed to get to Maura. With what little strength she had left in her, she pushed herself up off of the ground, staggering slightly under the weight of what had just happened. When she looked around, her vision became blurry from the tears she was fighting to hold back and the rain that was pouring over her. It was almost a futile effort as she tried to wipe the wetness away from her eyes with the back of her hand as she frantically looked around to find Maura. The panic turned to heart ache when she finally saw Maura leaning against the wall, cradling her right hand against her chest. She looked so lost and alone and Jane suddenly felt the heaviness of failure descend upon with such a ferocity that it almost caused her to fall to her knees to beg for Maura's forgiveness.
It had all happened so fast that Maura wasn't sure what was real and what was imagined. As she stood against the wall, soaked from the rain that had started to fall in a steady curtain of water around her, she cradled her right hand against herself. The pain had slowly started to subside, but there was still an ache deep within her that had nothing to do with her hand.
Maura's mind began to process the scene before her as her eyes swept over Jane who was kneeling on the wet pavement. She watched Jane look up at the sky, allowing the rain fall over her as if it were washing away the remnants of what had happened. The white puffs of air that continued to stream from Jane's mouth indicated how out of breath she was. With each heavy heave of breath that poured from Jane, Maura could feel hers matching in intensity and speed. Her heart was beating so fast that she felt as if it might beat out of her chest with her next exhale.
Maura's vision began to blur when the overwhelming realization of being touched by someone other than Jane hit her hard. She could still feel the press of the hard body against hers and it caused her to shrink back against the wall even more than she already was. Closing her eyes, Maura tried to block out the memory as she started to shake uncontrollably.
Jane watched Maura shrink back against the wall as if to make herself a smaller target from the memory of Joe. Taking several long strides, she closed the distance between them in a matter of seconds. It was almost too much for her to stand in front of Maura's now trembling body. In an attempt to bring her own shaking under control, she took a few deep breaths before reaching out to take Maura in her arms. She hadn't expected Maura to struggle and it almost broke her resolve even more that it already was as Maura tried to push her away fighting against the comfort that Jane was attempting to offer.
When Maura felt herself being wrapped up in strong arms her first instinct was to fight. All she wanted to do was get away from the perceived threat that still haunted her from moments before. As she struggled, the hold on her grew stronger but when she heard Jane's low voice whispering reassuringly to her, she allowed herself to fall into the safety she knew she would find if she would only let go.
"Maura…its Jane…it's me…Jane…" Jane held on as Maura struggled against her. "Oh God…did he hurt you?" She relaxed her grip when she felt Maura stop struggling. The rain was still falling around them causing her to feel weighed down in her jeans and sweatshirt as she lifted her arms higher so she could cup Maura's face in her hands. "Please…tell me you're okay…"
Opening her eyes, Maura was faced with familiar dark eyes full of concern. The rich mahogany that stared back at her was filled with worry and something else that Maura had never seen before, guilt. She blinked a few time to try to clear her vision as the rain continued to make it difficult for her to focus, or maybe it was the tears that were now falling from her eyes. Afraid that she wouldn't be able to find her voice if she tried to speak, Maura only nodded. She could tell that she hadn't convinced Jane that she was alright so she leaned the strong body surrounding her, resting her head on a broad shoulder. Maura's once trembling body slowly stilled as Jane held her in her arms.
"I think we should get out of the rain…" Jane started to say when she was interrupted by Giovanni and Frankie who flew around the corner only stopping when they saw Jane and Maura.
"Holy shit…we saw that asshole Joe sprinting towards the team bus with blood all over his face…" Giovanni said as he stepped closer to get a better look. "Did you do that?"
Jane looked over her shoulder, not willing to surrender her hold on Maura and nodded.
"What the hell happened?" Frankie reached out to touch Jane's shoulder to get her to turn around but stopped when Jane gave him a stern look as she shook her head. Jane could feel Maura burying her face further into her neck and shoulder as Maura's body started to give out on her. Without thinking, Jane scooped Maura up in her arms. Turning around, she gave Frankie and Giovanni a sad look as she started to walk past them.
"Jane…what happened?" Frankie asked his voice filled with panic at the sight before him.
"Call Ma and tell her I'm staying with Maura tonight…I'll call her later…" Jane started to push past the two boys as her muscles screamed from the strain of the fight earlier. She could feel her body start to shake from the tension that was weighing her down with each step she took. "It'll be okay…I just need to get her home and out of this rain…" Jane said over her shoulder as she headed towards Maura's car. "I'll call you later Frankie…tell Ma I'll call later and explain everything."
All Frankie and Giovanni could do was look at each other, shrug their shoulders and watch as Jane helped Maura into the car before they drove off.
"Here let me help you…" Jane said with shaking fingers as she tried to help Maura unbutton her shirt. With some effort, she was able to pry the buttons from the wet material that was making it difficult. Jane stopped when Maura put her hands on top of her shaking ones in an attempt to help.
"I'm sorry…" Maura looked down at their now joined hands. Her eyes filled with tears again as a surge of guilt washed over her. In her head, she knew she hadn't done anything wrong but the feeling of shame was pushing any logical thoughts from her mind.
"Oh sweetheart…please…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have left you alone." Jane sighed as she gathered Maura up into her arms again in an attempt to calm herself and Maura. She had caught a glimpse of the guilt she was feeling looking back at her from Maura's sad eyes.
"You're my hero…" Maura squeezed Jane's hands before finally looking up into Jane's eyes that had now turned a warm, soft brown.
"Some hero…" Jane scoffed. "He shouldn't have been able to get that close to you…it's all my fault…" The words were stopped by Maura's lips as she placed a soft, gentle kiss to Jane's mouth stopping her from continuing.
"It's not your fault or mine…" Maura pulled back. Even though anger was quickly replacing the guilt and shame she had been feeling, there was still the painful idea that she alone was responsible for what had happened. "The only person who is responsible is Joe…he is the one that crossed the line."
Letting out another heavy sigh, Jane leaned her forehead against Maura's. "I would have died if something had happened to you…" Jane said as she ran her thumb over the back of Maura's hand drawing a gasp. When she looked down at Maura's right hand, the one she was holding in her own, she was surprised to see the black and blue knuckles that matched her own.
Maura had forgotten about the pain in her hand until Jane touched the tender knuckles. With wide eyes, she looked down to see that her right hand matched the color of Jane's left hand. She had almost forgotten that she had made contact with her fist against Joe's jaw. A tiny smile was followed by a grimace as she flexed the hand causing a dull ache to blossom across her knuckles.
"I see you got in a hit…" Jane said with a small smirk.
"I think I drew blood…" Maura frowned down at her hand as the memory came back. Again she flexed her fingers as she studied the movement of the bones beneath her skin. "I don't think I broke anything. What about you?" She turned her attention to Jane's left hand.
"I'm good…" Jane brought Maura's hand up to lightly kiss the bruised knuckles in an effort to kiss away the pain. "But I think maybe I should teach you how to defend yourself…"
"I suppose that would be a good idea…I don't ever want to feel that helpless again." Maura's logical side was starting to kick in. The initial adrenalin rush was quickly being replaced with fatigue as Maura tried to stifle a yawn.
"I'm gonna call Carly tomorrow and set something up." Jane said with resolve as she resumed unbuttoning Maura's shirt, her fingers still shaking slightly.
"Carly?" Maura questioned.
"Yeah…you wouldn't know it to look at her but she's a third degree black belt." Jane pushed the wet shirt off of Maura's shoulders, allowing it to fall on the floor in a heap. "Here, go take a hot shower and put your pajama's on…" She said handing Maura a folded bundle and turning her around, giving her a gentle shove towards the bathroom.
"What about you?" Maura asked an element of shyness suddenly filling her voice.
"I'll call my Ma and explain what happened. I'll borrow something to sleep in if that's okay…?" Jane could tell that Maura just needed her presence, nothing more was expected or wanted.
With a nod, Maura stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. She tried to clear her mind as she busied herself with the routine of getting ready to take her shower. Things had gone pretty well until she looked down seeing black and blue finger prints on the underside of her forearm and the memory of what had happened crashed down on her with a force she wasn't expecting.
"Hey Ma…" Jane started to say into the phone but was interrupted by a very irate and impatient Angela.
"What's going on Jane?" Angela didn't let Jane finish.
"Sorry Ma, but I just really needed to get Maura home. We had a bit of a confrontation with the same guy that took that cheap shot at me when I got that minor concussion. I didn't realize he played on the baseball team for Northside too." Jane started to explain.
"What happened…are you alright…is Maura alright?" The fear in Angela's voice was apparent in the slight shakiness.
"I think so…I took care of it." Jane said with a finality that had Angela cringing on the other end of the phone.
"What did you do Jane?" Angela wasn't sure she wanted to know.
"I took care of it Ma…and there wasn't too much blood involved. I did break his nose, but he deserved it…trust me on that." Even though Jane sounded confident, there was an edge to her voice that indicated that she had been scared by the incident.
"Did this guy hurt Maura?" Angela could think of only one thing that would push Jane to hurt another person and that was if someone she cared about was threatened.
"Um…he tried to…" Jane's voice sounded small and far away. "But I think I'm gonna call Carly to give Maura some lessons on self-defense. I don't ever want her to feel helpless again." The conviction in Jane's voice had Angela smiling.
"I think that would be a good idea." Angela sighed.
"It would great if you came too…it wouldn't hurt for you to know a few things either…" Jane said.
"I suppose you're right…let me know when…I'll try to come." Angela smiled into the receiver. "Look…um…Frankie said you were going to spend the night over there…"
"Yeah…her mother is in New York…I don't want to leave her alone right now…" Jane's voice trailed off as she anticipated an argument.
"Okay…I guess I just need to accept the fact that you too are together…and that means…" Angela paused for a second. "Whatever it means…but school nights need to be off limits. I will concede this time because of the circumstances…" Angela was on the verge of asking if Jane wanted to bring Maura over to their house, but she decided against it knowing that it wasn't about anything but Jane being there for Maura. In her mind, she just wanted to be there too but she needed to let go a little and she knew it. If Jane needed her, she would ask.
"Thanks Ma…I appreciate it...you…" Jane started to say but the soft sound of whimpering on the other side of the bathroom door had her freezing mid-sentence. "I gotta go Ma…I call you later…" Jane sighed as she put the phone back its cradle.
It was as if a thousand pound weight sat upon her chest and Maura didn't know what to do to alleviate the feeling of being crushed so she just dropped down to the floor, letting the tears fall. She hadn't realized she was making any noise until she heard the click of the door and the creak as it opened to reveal a very anxious Jane.
"Maura…are you alright?" Jane dropped to the floor next to Maura. She tried to wrap her arms around Maura as she rocked back and forth in an attempt to comfort herself.
"I…just realized…it could have been much worse…" Maura took a shaky breath as she sank into the comfort of Jane's warmth surrounding her. "I was so scared…I couldn't find you…" The words came out in a strangled sob that she tried to hold back. Her heart started to race as another surge of guilt and shame almost took her breath away. She wanted to take comfort in Jane's arms, but she didn't feel as if she deserved it.
"I know…but we'll make sure you never feel like that again." Jane's voice held a conviction that Maura wanted to believe.
"Will you stay with me?" Maura laid her head on Jane's shoulder. The fear of being alone was having a numbing effect on her body and mind as she desperately clung to Jane. The need to take the comfort that was being offered by the arms that held her was overwhelming and Maura tried her best to let Jane's warmth wash away any remnants of inadequacy that still lingered.
"Yeah…I called my Ma…she's really worried about you. Do you want to go to my house?" Jane wasn't sure if she should ask.
"I think as long as you stay with me, I'll be okay." Maura wiped the tears away from her cheeks with the back of her hand. In doing so, she revealed the black and blue finger prints on her forearm.
"Did he do that to you?" Jane's voice was a low growl because she already knew the answer. Maura just nodded, not needing to say anything. "I'm so sorry this happened to you Maura…" Jane pushed some of Maura's hair away from her face so she could kiss her on the forehead. "Let me get the shower going for you…" Jane gently untangled herself from Maura. "I'll leave the door open so if you need me, I'll be right here…"
Again Maura just nodded as she watched Jane start the shower. She wasn't exactly sure what was expected of her until Jane reached down a hand to help pull her to her feet. Her body felt as if it was made of lead and it took all the strength she had left to stand.
"Now…go on…it will make you feel better…" Jane hugged Maura before reluctantly letting her go.
"Okay…but you'll just be outside the door if I need you…right?" Maura asked as she watched Jane leave.
"Yep…right here…" Jane leaned against the door frame. "I'm gonna look for a t-shirt big enough for me to sleep in…" She tried to smile.
"I'll only be a minute…" Maura sighed as she started to strip the rest of her clothes off; completely oblivious to the effect it was having on Jane as a blush spread across Jane's face as she tried to turn around before a very naked Maura slipped into the shower.
Trying to steady her breathing, Jane took a few deep breaths before opening one of Maura's dresser drawers. In her head, she knew that Maura didn't need her looking at her like that, but it was hard to get her libido to cooperate. She loved Maura's body, the soft curves, and the inviting skin that just begged to be caressed and kissed. She had to shake her head to dispel the thoughts. After what had happened, Jane knew she had to be strong. She knew that she needed to be there for Maura, to comfort her, to make her feel safe and that was what she was going to do. Running her fingers over Maura's neatly folded shirts, a surge of anger rushed through her. When she found what she was looking for, she pulled the shirt out of the drawer bringing it up to her face to inhale deeply the unique smell that followed Maura. As she stood there, breathing in the scent that calmed her heart she wondered if maybe it was the laundry detergent that smelled so good. Breathing in again, she knew it was more than just laundry detergent that made Maura smell like sunshine on a spring day after a rain shower.
It had been an effort to pull her wet jeans and sweat shirt off, but when Jane had finally stripped herself from the restrictive clothes, she found herself standing in the middle of the room in nothing but a wet sports bra and underwear. She contemplated if she should just wear the wet undergarments under the t-shirt, knowing that having her bare skin with only a thin barrier between her and Maura was going to put her resolve to a test. When she heard the water from the shower stop, she made a quick decision as she took her sports bra off and pulled the t-shirt over her head. With the flick of her wrist, she tossed the sports bra into the heap of wet clothes that lay on the floor next to the door. Looking around, she realized that it would be a good idea to throw both of their clothes into the hamper so they could be taken down to the laundry to be dried. As she bent over to scoop up the pile of clothes, Jane heard the door to the bathroom open causing her to stop what she was doing to look over her shoulder to see if Maura was alright. The sight that greeted her had her swallowing hard against the sudden dryness that filled her throat. Maura was wearing only her pajama shirt, unbuttoned and slightly opened to reveal the soft curves underneath. Jane was now regretting her decision not to wear her sports bra under the thin material of the t-shirt she was wearing.
"Are you okay?" Jane's croaked out in a strained voice as she dropped the clothes into the hamper.
Maura nodded as she walked over to her bed to pull the blankets and sheets back.
"You ready for bed?" Jane stood frozen, afraid to move.
Again Maura nodded as she studied the back of her hand again.
"Okay…" The urge to close the distance between them hit Jane hard as she watched a very timid Maura look anywhere but at her.
Slowly, so she wouldn't scare Maura, Jane made her way across the room to stand in front of Maura. She looked down at the top of the honey-blonde head that wouldn't look up at her and the palms of her hands began to tingle with impulse to feel the silky, soft strands running through her fingers. It took her by surprise when Maura suddenly reached out to wrap her arms around Jane's waist, pulling her closer so she could rest her head against Jane's stomach. With shaky hands, Jane ran her hands up and down Maura's back in yet another attempt to comfort.
"Thank you for staying with me…" Maura mumbled against the t-shirt that Jane was wearing.
"Oh sweetheart…nothing could keep me away…I love you." Jane's voice soothed the raw edges of emotion that were eating away at Maura's heart.
"I love you too." Maura smiled against the thin material that separated her skin from Jane's. "Now come on, let's get some sleep." She let go of Jane and moved up to lie on the bed, patting the empty space next to her.
"'Kay…" Jane sighed, instantly missing the contact with Maura when she let go.
When Jane had moved across the bed to lie next to Maura, she was startled by the sudden movement of Maura removing her pajama top.
"What are you doing Maura?" Jane's voice shook with uncertainty.
"I need to feel you Jane…I need to know it's you holding me…that it's your skin against mine, not his…" Maura said as she pulled Jane's shirt over her head. "I won't let him win…I need you to help me forget…" She ran her fingers over Jane's soft skin. "Would you please just hold me tonight…?"
The soft plea in Maura's voice almost brought tears to Jane's eyes as she felt the tentative touch that sought comfort not desire and Jane nodded as she gently pushed Maura down next to her. She gave Maura the time she needed to get comfortable before she wrapped her arms around the smaller body.
Maura had turned so that her back was to Jane but she sighed contently when she felt strong arms enfold her in a tender embrace. She could feel that Jane had left some distance between their bodies so she scooted back until Jane's front was touching her back, their skin making contact.
"Please Jane…I need to feel you against me…" Maura pulled Jane's arms tighter around her. "Never let me go…"
"I'll never let you go Maura…" Jane whispered in Maura's ear. Even though the feeling of skin on skin was starting a slow simmer to burn within Jane, it wasn't the heat of desire that caused her skin to burn but the knowledge that she could be the comfort Maura needed. However, deep inside there was a flicker of anger burning at the thought of how they had come to this moment. She only allowed herself to relax when she felt Maura's breathing even out and the once tight grip that Maura had on her arms loosened. It was only when she was sure that Maura was asleep that she allowed the tears to flow finally relieving the tension that had threatened to bury her under the weight of the guilt she was struggling to contain. "I'll never let you go…" Jane murmured again. With a startling realization Jane knew she was holding the love of her life and she never wanted to let go. Never…