I believe I should be back on schedule now…hope you enjoy, this one is a bit longer than usual. Thanks again for reading and reviewing…I will do my best to answer any questions that come my way, so don't be afraid to reach out. Next chapter is Jane's birthday…I wonder what Maura has planned. ;)
Chapter 27- Love Mistake
"Show me how you make a fist Maura…" Carly lifted Maura's hand up so she could see as Maura wrapped her fingers around her thumb in a fist. With careful examination, Carly turned the smaller hand over in hers as she ran her fingers over the bruised knuckles. "You're lucky you didn't dislocate or break anything…" She sighed as she started to pry Maura's fingers open. Maura's only response was a raised eyebrow. Carly didn't see Maura's questioning look, her focus on the hand in hers as she continued to examine the delicateness of each finger. Jane however did and with a wink, she gave Maura a nod of encouragement. "Here…when you make a fist, wrap your thumb on the outside. Your knuckles should be the point of impact…and always keep your wrist straight and as flat as possible to avoid a sprain." Carly curled Maura's fingers into a fist before moving her thumb to the outside just below her knuckles. "Now…punch…" Holding up a hand in front of Maura, she gave a quick slap with her other hand to indicate where she wanted Maura to direct her hit.
At first Maura was unsure of what to do but when Carly grabbed her hand and directed it towards the open palm of the hand she was holding up Maura finally understood. With a quick nod she pulled back and hit Carly's hand with all of her strength. The impact against her bruised knuckles caused her to wince as she pulled her hand back and tried to shake away the sting.
A slow smirk rose at the corners of Carly's mouth as she looked at Jane over Maura's shoulder. A dark eyebrow rose in admiration at the power that Maura had exhibited behind the punch. Carly's sky blue eyes flashed her approval as she smiled down at Maura.
"That was really good…I'm glad to see you aren't afraid…" Carly looked over at her mother and Aunt Angela who were watching with slight grimaces on their faces. "See the key to self-preservation is not being afraid…" Her eyes met her mothers who matched her own in color and intensity. "You have a right to protect yourself…you have a right to say no…" Her gaze traveled over to her two sisters, Bella and Mia. "Don't be afraid to fight back…" When her eyes came to settle on Jane, she could see the proud smile on her cousin's face.
When Jane had called Carly a few days earlier to tell her what had happened and ask her if she could give Maura some lessons on self-defense she agreed immediately. As she and Jane made plans, it had been Jane's idea to include their mothers and Carly's sisters in on the impromptu lessons. So here they were on a Saturday afternoon going over the finer points of how to defend themselves.
"Okay…let's go over what is considered the first technique of self-defense…" Carly looked around at her students who looked back at her with eager faces. "The groin attack is the first line of defense. As we all know, it is the most sensitive part on a man. Of course because of this, they are usually pretty quick to protect that area so the element of surprise is imperative." She frowned at the grimace that her sister Mia was giving her. "Is something wrong Mia?" Carly asked.
"I don't know if I can do that…it just seems so brutal…" Her voice trailed off.
Carly studied her older sister as she stood in front of her wearing her designer sweats with her hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail without a single hair out of place. She took a step closer to the shorter woman, invading her personal space and looked down into dark brown eyes that suddenly looked fearful.
"I know you don't want to risk breaking a nail or anything Mia…but the failure to protect yourself can lead to a brutality you don't ever want to endure." Carly's voice was stern as she used her height to intimidate. Mia shrank away from Carly, looking around for someone to help her. "Don't look for someone to come to your rescue…you're all alone in this…now…stop me." Carly reached out to grab her sister, taking the smaller woman by surprise.
Mia's only defense was to throw her hands up over her face as she tried to shrink further away from Carly's advancing body, backing into Bella who matched Carly's height and stature. With a sad sigh, Carly looked over her shoulder at her mother and shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry Ma…but Mia is dead 'cause she didn't want to hurt someone who was going to hurt her…"
"Carly, sweetheart…that is why we're here, to learn what to do….please have some patience with your sister…" Carly's mother, Rita stepped over to wrap her arms around Mia to comfort her.
Jane rolled her eyes at Maura who watched with rapt attention the interaction between Mia and Carly. Maura found it fascinating that two siblings could be so very different from each other. Mia was all lace and frills whereas Carly was something completely different. Bella seemed to be more like Carly, but she had a much softer personality, lacking the hard edge that seemed to outline Carly's personality at the moment. Even though Carly was now showing everyone her hard, take charge attitude it was not the same person Maura knew when Ryan was around. It was as if Ryan's presence tamed the darker side that Carly tried to hide away. It was a thought that had her considering how much Carly and Jane were alike. Maura knew that she was the only one who could bring calm over the storm that sometimes raged so close to the surface within Jane. A small smile appeared as Maura contemplated how much power she occasionally had over her girlfriend.
The pensive look on Maura's face had Jane wondering what she was thinking as she watched several emotions cross over Maura's features. When she saw the small smile, Jane's heart fluttered at the innocent beauty and simplicity of the action. It amazed her that just one look from Maura could either have her heart racing out of her chest or enfold her in a calming state that had her floating on air. She gave Maura a crooked grin when she felt her cheeks warm as a blush crept over her face at the thought of how much control she willing gave over to Maura. Even though the tension in the room was as tight as a rubber band, all Jane saw was Maura. Bella's voice brought her attention back to what was taking place between her cousins so she reluctantly tore her gaze away from Maura's.
It was the frustrated sigh that had escaped from Bella that drew Carly's attention away from Mia and her mother. "Some of us are here to learn…I for one don't want to feel helpless, even if I have to break a nail…" Her dark eyes flashed with the impatience she was feeling towards Mia. She gave her sister a small shove towards their mother and stepped closer to Carly.
The sudden burst of laughter that escaped Carly had everyone feeling more at ease. "I'm sorry, but I just want to make sure I teach you what you need to know…I guess it's just a very serious subject for me." She suddenly turned somber, her gaze finding Jane's again as a silent understanding passed between them. Although Jane didn't really know what had lead Carly to get her black belt, she did know that it had been more out of necessity than choice. "Jane…you be the attacker and I'll demonstrate some defensive moves against you."
"'Kay…" Jane stepped in front of Carly. She gave a small reassuring smile to Maura who had a concerned look on her face.
"No worries Maura, I promise not to hurt her…much…" Carly had a wicked grin on her face. Jane had been a sparring partner for her on many occasions when Ryan was unavailable. The time they had spent together had given Jane the skills she needed to hold her own in a fight so Carly wasn't in the least bit worried Jane would get hurt. "Okay…come at me…" She ordered Jane who reached out to grab Carly around the neck. "The first variation of the groin attack is to grab the attacker by the wrists or hands and bring your knee up towards the groin with as much power as you can." Grabbing Jane's hands, she brought her knee up in a swift motion, stopping just before contact. "Another variation of this attack is the front kick, only to be used if the perpetrator has his legs spread far enough apart. This is extremely effective if done right." Without letting go of Jane's hands, Carly kicked up as if she were kicking a football, bringing her foot up between Jane's legs again stopping just before contact was made. "And finally, probably the most effective form of this attack and the most under used, is to grab him and twist as hard as you can with your hand…" She illustrated by reaching up and pretending to cup something in her hand and twisting hard.
"Why is it the most under used?" Maura asked. It was apparent by the looks on everyone's faces around her that Carly was right. No one seemed thrilled by the idea of doing what Carly had described, but Maura wasn't sure what the problem was if it would free her from the threat of being attacked.
"Probably because most women are squeamish about grabbing a guy by the balls and twisting..." Carly's tone was somewhat harsh as she looked at Mia. "But if done right, it can buy you time to run away…" She brought her attention back to Maura. "And that is the key…to incapacitate you attacker for a short time so you can run away…"
"You just want us to run away?" Bella asked, confusion written all over her face. "What about making him pay for what he's doing or at the least stopping him."
"Yes, I want you to run away…what I am trying to teach you are the skills to incapacitate. This isn't about beating someone up…or being a she-hulk. You don't have anything to prove. Stopping him long enough so you can get away…that's all…" Carly gave Jane a somewhat stern look causing her to blush slightly. "Like I said, this isn't about beating your attacker, but getting yourself away from him. Now…" Carly indicated to Jane that she should come at her again. "If your attacker grabs your body…reach up and use your thumbs to press into his eyes. By doing this, you buy yourself enough time to break his grip…even strike his ears with your open palms to disorient him if you can." Again Carly demonstrated on Jane as best she could without actually hurting her. "Another thing to try is to push up under his chin with both hands as hard as you can and then stepping on his toe or kicking him in the shin. If attacked from behind, stomp down on his foot as hard as you can to distract him enough to break free." Carly spun around so Jane could grab her from behind. This time she did stomp down hard on Jane's foot causing her to howl out in pain.
"Shit Carly…" Jane panted as she hopped up and down on her good foot.
"Language Jane…" Both Maura and Angela said at the same time causing Jane to let out a huff of air.
"Sorry…" Carly gave Jane a sheepish grin. "How bout we switch places…"
"Yeah…now I get to beat you up for a change." Jane grinned as the pain slowly subsided.
"Okay…if your attacker comes at you from the side…aim for his throat with your elbow." Carly said as she allowed Jane to demonstrate the attack before stopping to see if everyone was on the same page. "Okay…get into pairs and practice these moves on each other…and be careful not to hurt each other."
When Jane headed towards Maura, Carly stopped her and tilted her head towards their mothers. "You help our Ma's and I'll take my sisters and Maura." She thought it would be best if she helped Maura because Jane was a distraction that Maura didn't need.
"Yeah…'kay." Jane sighed in resignation, knowing that Carly was right.
"The key points to remember are…run away if the opportunity ever presents itself first, but if not then go for the groin, the eyes, the foot, and the shin at any given point…and then run." Carly moved to stand next to Maura and her two sisters. "You ready to try?" She looked at Maura who nodded back at her.
Time passed quickly as Jane worked with her mother and aunt. It hadn't gone unnoticed that Angela had been unusually quiet during their sparring matches and Jane couldn't help but wonder why. It also hadn't gone unnoticed by anyone that Jane's eyes seemed to constantly stray to Maura at any given moment.
"Hey Ma…you okay?" Jane asked as she sat next to her mother on the floor as they took a break.
"Yeah…I'm fine." Angela sighed as she pushed a few strands of hair away from her face.
"You're awful quiet…" Jane mused as she regarded her mother.
Angela just shrugged her shoulders as she looked away from Jane. She wasn't sure she would be able to articulate what she was feeling. It was something between fear and pride that her daughter knew so much about self-defense. On one hand she was proud of Jane for being so strong, but she was also afraid of the fact that Jane needed to know these things, especially now that she was with Maura.
"Come on Ma…I know something's bothering you…spill it." Jane tried to make light of the situation as she bumped her mother's shoulder with her own.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Angela leaned back on her elbows and stretched her legs out in front of her. After a few silent minutes she looked at Jane with sadness in her eyes.
"I guess it just bothers me that we have to be here today learning this…" Angela creased her brow as she stopped and tried again to say what she was feeling. "Wait, that didn't come out the way I wanted it…what I'm trying to say is that what happened to Maura makes me sad…"
"Yeah…me too Ma..." Jane dropped her head to look at her hands that were sitting in her lap.
"It was the same guy who gave you that…?" Angela asked as she pointed to the side of Jane's now healing leg.
Jane just nodded as she continued to study her lap.
"Why did he do it Jane…why Maura?" Angela wondered.
"Because of me…he's been pushing me ever since we met. I shoulda known not to let her go out and wait for me by herself with him around. He made his intentions about her known since the beginning." Jane picked at a piece of lint on her sweat pants.
"So he knows about you two?" Angela asked as she watched Jane pull at a string that hung from the side of her sweat pants.
"Not officially, but I believe he suspects. He calls me a dyke every time I see him." Jane shrugged her shoulders as if she was trying to blow off the comment.
"It hurts doesn't it?" Angela reached over to take Jane's hand in her own.
"I suppose…" Again Jane shrugged her shoulders.
"That's what makes me sad Jane." She gave Jane's hand a gentle squeeze. She only continued talking when Jane looked at her with a question in her eyes. "It makes me sad that just because you and Maura want to be together, you'll always be a target. It breaks my heart to know that you'll have to defend yourself to small minded bigots just because of who you chose to love."
"There's not much we can do about that Ma…but having Carly and Ryan around has helped though." Jane looked over at her cousin who was showing Maura how to use her elbow to hit an attacker in the throat.
"I am very grateful to Carly…" Angela started to say but paused as she looked over at Rita who was now smiling at her. "I'm just sorry she didn't feel safe enough in our family to share it with us until now."
Rita's smile fell slightly as she nodded in agreement. Even though she and Angela had suspected for years, neither had been brave enough to broach the subject with Carly. She regretted her cowardice, but the fear of her husband's reaction had kept her from pushing the issue. It was Angela's open mindedness that helped her deal with the idea that her daughter was the way she was. And now she had a wonderful relationship with her daughter and the woman her daughter loved. Now that it was all out in the open everyone had accepted it, everyone but her husband. His stubbornness hadn't surprised her, but his anger had. He hadn't talked to Carly since she came out to the family and it broke Rita's heart. She knew it was up to her to change his mind and with each passing day his resolve seemed to weaken. It didn't hurt that his brother was going through the same thing, but had handled it in a much different way. What should have torn their family apart was only making it stronger and Anthony was on the sidelines watching from the crowd. Being a spectator in his family's life was taking a toll on him and Rita could feel his slow shift to become a part of something he used to love so much.
"I used to worry everyday about Carly…but then I met Ryan and I knew from that moment on that they would take care of each other…no matter what…they would always have that." Rita glanced at Angela. "I see the same thing when I look at Jane and Maura…"
"You're right Rita…" Angela smiled at her sister in law. "I have no doubt that they will take care of each other. Thanks for reminding me…"
"I think it's a good idea as women that we know how to defend ourselves…we were already targets by default, but loving Maura just makes it more of a daily reality for me." Jane looked at her mother then her Aunt Rita.
Angela could only nod as she realized that Jane had already figured out the hardest part of being in a relationship. Leaning over she wrapped an arm around Jane's shoulder to pull her into a hug. "You are so damn smart…" She kissed Jane on the cheek.
"Language Ma…" Jane smirked, but allowed her mother the liberty to indulge in some motherly fussing.
"You know…she really is something Jane." Angela tilted her head towards Maura. "I can see why you are attracted to her."
Jane raised an eyebrow in question at her mother's remark. "Ma…really…?"
It was the crimson wave that crept across Angela's face that had both Jane and her Aunt Rita laughing. It was the good natured ribbing that Jane was used to when it came to her family that had her laughing as hard as she was drawing attention from Maura and Carly.
"I didn't mean it like that…you know that…" Angela gave a backhanded slap to Jane's middle. The look she gave Rita had them both laughing heartily as she realized how it must have sounded. The teasing was an instant form of levity to the serious conversation that had taken place before.
"I'd say that both of our girls have good taste in women…" Rita said causing both Jane and Angela to stop and look at her. "What?" She eyed them both innocently, but the silly grin betrayed her.
Maura had been trying to concentrate on what Carly was attempting to show her, but her attention was on Jane and her mother as they sat quietly talking. Both of them had serious expressions as they continued to talk and Maura could barely contain her curiosity. She watched as Carly's mother, Rita joined in the conversation and couldn't help but compare the similarities between the two women. They both had the same light blue eyes that at times twinkled with playfulness, but could darken in an instant to the color of twilight. Their chiseled features were very much alike in the high cheek bones and sculpted noses but where Rita's lips were thin, Carly's were full. Carly hadn't inherited the dimpled chin like Jane had from the Rizzoli's but it was a strong angular chin like a Grecian goddess carved out of stone. Carly's long dark hair was straight like her mothers, but Rita's was more of a bronzed brown that fell just to her shoulders. Where Mia was built more like Rita, shorter and stockier, Carly and Bella were tall and lanky like Jane, a trait that Maura attributed to the Rizzoli's as well. But when they smiled there was no difference between them at all. It was a full, beautiful smile that lite up their faces and eyes no matter what color.
The faraway look on Maura's face indicated that she was lost in thought and it made Carly chuckle lightly. "You get the same look on your face that Ryan does when she's lost in thought." She took a step back away from Maura so she could see her better. "Care to share?"
"Oh…I was just thinking about how much you look like your mother…and sisters." Maura smiled.
"Yeah…I know my Ma and I have the same color eyes, but I never really thought I looked like her much…" Carly looked over at her mother.
"You do…you have a lot of similarities, Bella too." Maura continued to watch Jane.
"I guess Mia and I don't have a lot in common…" Carly mused aloud.
"Well, you may not look like each other much but I can see things in your mannerisms that are similar. But what really gets me is how much your smiles are alike." Maura pushed a stray piece of hair out of her face. "Hey…where is Ryan anyways?"
"She had a study group session…but she wanted to know if you and Jane would come over for dinner tonight or go out…?" Carly watched her mother interacting with her Jane and Angela. She frowned at the serious expressions on their faces, but suddenly Jane and her mother started to laugh and Angela turned a bright red. "Do you think we should rescue my Aunt Angela?" Carly tilted her head to regard Maura.
"Absolutely…" Maura was already one step ahead as she headed towards the small group that seemed to be laughing uncontrollably.
Jane jumped up when she saw Maura heading towards them and opened her arms to enfold Maura in a hug. It was a move that caused Angela to blush again. Even though she had come to accept Jane and Maura's relationship, she still wasn't all that comfortable with seeing them be affectionate with each other. It was something that she knew she would have to get used to, but it was still difficult to see her little girl in such a grown up relationship, no matter who it was with.
"Hey…you did good." Jane pulled Maura close to her, holding her in a tight embrace.
"I did well…" Maura started to correct Jane but stopped when she got a confused look in response. "Thanks…" The words were mumbled against Jane's chest as she felt herself being pulled tightly against Jane's body.
"She's a natural…" Carly smiled at the two young women holding onto each other.
"I had a good teacher." Maura smiled back. She felt an instant lose when Jane's arms let her go as Bella and Mia approached.
"Yeah…she is a good teacher. I've told her she should teach a few classes in self-defense or maybe even some karate classes." Bella wrapped her arm around Carly's shoulder.
An uncharacteristic blush crept over Carly's face as she ducked her head to look at something of particular interest at her feet.
"But her dream is be a French pastry chef…" Mia started to say.
"A pâtissière…" Maura quipped with excitement drawing everyone's attention.
"She's right…" Carly laughed at the expressions on the faces around her as she winked at Maura causing her to blush in a way that Jane wasn't sure she liked.
"Hey…" Jane gave Maura's side a gentle pinch. "Only I'm supposed to make you blush like that…"
"And that is my cue to head home…" Angela threw her hands up in a playful way. "Are you going to be home for dinner?" She gave Jane an expectant look.
"Oh…Carly and Ryan have invited us to dinner." Maura turned to Jane.
"'Kay…is that alright Ma?" Jane asked, knowing it was best to give her mother the chance to approve.
"I suppose so…how about you and Anthony? Would you like to come over for dinner?" Angela asked her sister in law.
"That would be nice; can I let you know later?" Rita answered.
"Yeah, that would be fine. Don't forget next Saturday…Jane's Birthday cookout." Angela gave everyone an expectant look.
"The big eighteen…" Bella gave Jane a gentle shove. "Wouldn't miss it…"
"Already have it on the calendar." Mia smiled.
"Yep…gonna be a great party…" Carly leaned over to give Angela a hug. "We have some plans to make too." She whispered in her aunt's ear.
Giving a firm nod, Angela smiled at her niece. "That we do…" She gave Carly a quick pat on the back before pulling away. "I guess I'll see everyone later…you girls be careful out there tonight." Angela couldn't help herself; she would always worry no matter what.
"Love you Ma…" Jane reached out to hug her mother.
"Me too Jane…" Angela gave her daughter a gentle squeeze before releasing her. "And you too Maura." She said to a surprised Maura who found herself enveloped in the older woman's arms. With one last squeeze, Angela let go and headed home.
"How 'bout we go out tonight? I'm kinda tired…" Ryan leaned back on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table.
"Whatever you want to do…" Carly absent mindedly answered as she looked through a drawer in the kitchen. "Hey can we go to that Japanese restaurant I like so much?"
"I suppose so, but Jane doesn't seem like she has a very eclectic palette." Ryan ran her fingers through her short blonde hair.
"Yeah, well…she'll get over it." Carly continued to rummage around in the kitchen drawer.
"What time are they coming over?" Ryan tried to stifle a yawn.
"They should be here any minute." The sound of silverware being moved followed Carly's comment.
"What are you looking for in there?" A blonde head peeked up from the couch to see what Carly was doing.
"Looking for the bottle opener…" Carly continued to search until she found what she was looking for. "Aha!" She held up the tool for Ryan to see.
"Alright…" Ryan answered as she rolled her eyes. "Whatcha gonna do with it?"
"Well…I know Jane's birthday isn't until next week, but I thought we would celebrate early with a glass of champagne." A wiggle of dark eyebrows was followed by a huge grin as Carly answered Ryan's question.
"You don't need a bottle opener for that you goof..." Ryan pushed up off of the couch, making her way around the kitchen table to stand behind Carly.
With a furloughed brow Carly studied the bottle opener and then the bottle of champagne before shrugging her shoulders. She felt an instant warmth and comfort when Ryan's arms encircled her around the middle from behind.
"Guess I didn't really think that one through." Carly sighed as she leaned back into Ryan's embrace.
"S'alright…" Ryan murmured against the long neck that was now exposed to her as Carly tilted her head to the side. "How did it go today? I'm sorry I missed it."
"It went well…everyone really put a lot of effort into it." Carly placed her hands on the hands that were covering her stomach. Interlacing their fingers, she gave a gentle squeeze before spinning around so they were facing each other. "I wish you coulda been there too." She punctuated the statement by placing a kiss on the tip of Ryan's nose. Only when Ryan leaned in for a more intimate kiss did Carly pull away with a lopsided grin. "Sorry babe, Jane and Maura will be here any minute. It'll haveta wait."
"Humf…is it too late to cancel?" Ryan's pouting face made Carly laugh.
"Yes my dear…it is too late, but I will leave you with this to think about." Carly grabbed Ryan and pulled her close giving her a solid kiss on the lips that left Ryan weak at the knees.
"I really like you in that sweater." Maura took Jane's hand in hers as they made their way up Carly and Ryan's walkway.
"Yeah?" Jane looked down at the light blue V-neck sweater she was wearing with her black jeans. "I really like you in that skirt…" Jane let the backs of her fingers brush along Maura's leg at the hem of her skirt. "I even like the tights." She said with a smile.
"Humm…it still gets pretty cold at night so I thought it would be best." Maura sighed at the light contact of Jane's fingers. The touch made her shiver even though it was through the thick material of her tights and it made Jane's smile even bigger.
"You know…" Jane stopped just before they got to the door causing Maura to stop as well. "You did a great job today…do you think you learned enough to keep you out of trouble?"
"Well…you know more than I do and it doesn't keep you out of trouble does it?" Maura tried to joke but immediately regretted her attempt at humor when she saw Jane's serious expression. "Yes…I do think I learned some very valuable lessons on defending myself. I believe that I won't feel helpless if I ever find myself faced with a difficult…situation…" She regarded Jane's thoughtful expression.
"I don't want you to ever feel helpless again." Jane brought their joined hands up to her lips and placed a soft kiss against Maura's still bruised knuckles. "Never…"
Both Jane and Maura jumped in surprise when the door flew open to reveal the sheepish expression of Carly and Ryan.
"Thought we'd go out to dinner this time." Ryan pushed past the two startled young women like she was on a mission.
"Don't ever get in her way when she's hungry." Carly rolled her eyes at the expressions on Jane and Maura's faces. "Time to feed the beast." She chuckled as she shrugged her shoulders and followed Ryan.
"Guess we're going out." Maura spun around to follow Carly and Ryan.
"It better not be some place weird…" Jane huffed as she allowed Maura to pull her along.
"Raw fish? Really?" Jane whined as she flipped through the menu the waitress had just handed her. "I can't believe we're related, your taste in food sucks."
"Well we do have one taste in common…" Carly wiggled her eyebrows at Jane.
The response caused Ryan to laugh and Maura's eyes to widen in surprise. Maura looked over to see Jane ducking her head down to hide her now red face behind her menu.
"I'm with you on the raw fish thing Jane…they have a great chicken teriyaki." Ryan set her menu down already having made her decision.
"It's called sushi…" Carly rolled her eyes at Ryan and Jane.
"I love sushi and sashimi. Have you ever had it before Jane?" Jane was already shaking her head with a grimace on her face before Maura could finish. "How do you know you won't like it then?"
"I just do." Jane crossed her arms in a show of defiance. "Have you?" She looked over at Ryan and couldn't help but be captured in the playful light that danced behind the green eyes.
"Yeah…it's not awful. I'm just not a big fan…" Ryan smiled at Jane. "But Carly loves it, so…" She paused to shrug her shoulders. "It makes her happy…and I'm all about making her happy."
"You're gonna give me cavities with all the sugary sweetness you're throwing around…" Jane grumbled when Ryan leaned into Carly to lay her head on her shoulder.
"Hey there cuz…I saw you two before you got to the door, holding hands all cute like…" Carly paused and raised an eyebrow as a question came to her mind. "Something tells me that you're holding hands right now under the table…"
"Alright, alright…" Jane conceded with a huff and another eye roll. She could feel her face growing warm as another blush crept up her cheeks as she quickly removed her hand from Maura's thigh under the table only to have Maura grab it and put it back.
"Two blushes in under five minutes…I think I'm on a roll." Carly laughed.
"Come on…give her a break." Ryan gave Carly's shoulder a little nudge as she winked playfully at Maura.
At first Maura thought that Jane was going to get angry about the teasing directed at her but when she saw Jane smile back at Carly, she realized that Jane was enjoying the good natured ribbing.
"What are you gonna do with those?" Jane pointed to the chopsticks that Maura was holding.
"I am going to use them to eat with…" Maura seemed surprised that Jane would have to ask. "Why do you ask?"
"I thought maybe you were going to start a fire at the table by rubbing them together." The smirk on Jane's face had everyone laughing except Maura.
"I'll do no such thing…" Maura seemed confused by Jane's attempt at humor. "Traditionally you would just use your hands, but most meals would be preceded by a hot, wet washcloth to cleanse your hands with. Since I haven't washed my hands since we got here, I prefer to use the chopsticks for sanitary purposes…" She stopped when she noticed Jane's eyes widen and that glazed expression that said 'huh?'
"Um, alrighty then…" Jane tried not to laugh.
"Sushi and sashimi are actually finger foods Jane…" Carly didn't try to hide her smirk. "And for that reason I always carry wet naps with me." She said as she handed Maura a small square packet.
"I think I may have just fallen in love with you Carly…" Maura quipped drawing a quick response from Jane and Ryan in the form of a rather loud 'Hey!'
After carefully wiping her hands with the moist towellete, Maura turned to Jane with an expectant look. Jane had a scowl on her face as she watched Maura reach for a piece of something she couldn't quite identify.
"Will you at least do me the service of tasting it before passing judgment?" Maura asked as she brought her hand up to Jane's mouth.
With her lips pressed tight in a firm line that she wasn't willing to break, Jane shook her head in the negative.
"Come on Jane…if I tasted it…surely you can try. Besides how can you refuse to be finger fed by…all of that…?" Ryan asked as she swept her hands over Maura to indicate what she meant.
"Come on Jane…" Maura leaned closer so she could whisper in Jane's ear. "I promise to make it worth your while." Her voice held a seductive edge that had Jane's jaw dropping, allowing Maura to slip the small, round sushi roll into her mouth. As Jane's lips wrapped around the roll and a few fingers that lingered a little longer necessary, Maura gasped softly at the silky touch of a tongue brushing against her fingertips. She was completely mesmerized by the electrical current that was traveling up her arm, spreading heat throughout her body. Maura was so caught up in the moment of feeding Jane that she didn't notice someone rapidly approaching their table until she heard that someone clearing their throat.
"Maura Isles…" A familiar voice pulled Maura's attention away from the soft lips and wet mouth she had been so intently focused on. Looking up, Maura recognized Elizabeth Fairfield standing over her.
"Um…Mrs. Fairfield…how nice to see you." Maura stammered slightly.
The older woman raised an eyebrow at Maura's uncharacteristic nervousness. "I told Jeff I thought it was you. How have you been?"
"I've been fine, thank you for asking." Maura tried to sit up taller in her seat to show she wasn't intimidated by the look that Mrs. Fairfield was giving to her dinner companions. "I'm just having dinner with some friends here…um…Jane and Carly Rizzoli…and Ryan…" Maura paused awkwardly when she realized she didn't know Ryan's last name.
"Ryan Cavanaugh…" Ryan finished for Maura.
Jane felt more than saw as the older woman's eyes swept over her dismissively, but the when she felt Maura stiffen next to her she knew exactly how uncomfortable Maura was.
"Charmed I'm sure. Any relation to Dr. Francesco Rizzoili of Westwood?" The question had a condescending tone to it.
"Nope…just Francesco Rizzoli the plumber from Revere…" Jane tried to answer as nonchalantly as she could.
"I see…" Mrs. Fairfield sniffed as if she smelled something she didn't like. "I was nice to see you again Maura." She turned to leave but stopped when she remembered something. "Oh Garrett is looking forward to taking you to the prom…he mentioned it last time he was home. He said he hasn't been able to get a hold of you to make plans though."
"I'm not planning on going Mrs. Fairfield so I would appreciate it if you would tell Garrett he won't need to bother…" Maura tried to answer as politely as she could.
Mrs. Fairfield's dark, glassy eyes traveled over Maura with surprise before falling upon Jane with distaste. She stared at Jane for moment without saying anything before giving a small nod. "Give my regards to your parents…" The words were practically spoken over her shoulder as she turned to leave.
When they were finally alone again, Maura let out a long held breath. "I'm really sorry…my parents friends can be a little…"
"Stuck-up…" Jane growled under her breath.
"I was going to say pretentious…" Maura sighed as she gave Carly and Ryan an apologetic smile. "But stuck-up works too."
"It's not your fault Maura…I've dealt with people like that my whole life." Ryan smiled back to ease Maura's nervousness.
"You know you can still go to the prom if you want to…I won't stand in the way. It sounds like you already have a date anyways…" Jane all but grumbled but was interrupted by a stiff kick to the shin. "Hey…!" She reached down to rub the now aching spot on her leg. She tried to glower at Carly whose eyes had darkened to that color just before twilight and Jane knew she was really angry.
Reaching down into her lap, Maura grabbed her napkin and folded it before placing it on her plate of half eaten food. "If you'll excuse me…I'm going to the restroom." She stood up without looking at Jane.
When Jane started to stand up to follow Maura thinking that they were going to have it out in the privacy of the restaurant bathroom, she stopped as soon as she saw the stern look from Ryan who pointed for her to sit back down.
"I've got this…you stay here." Ryan threw her napkin in her seat as she stood up. "And you…" She turned to Carly who looked stunned by the tone of her voice. "Talk some sense into this idiot." With that she turned and followed Maura without another word.
Jane had the decency to wait until Ryan was out of earshot before she threw her napkin at Carly, almost knocking over her water in the process. "What the hell Carly…" She hissed through clenched teeth as she reached down again to rub the spot where Carly's foot had made contact with her shin.
"Quite being such an asshole…" Carly hissed back.
It wasn't the tone of Carly's voice that betrayed her anger; it was the look in her eyes that had Jane back tracking. "Yeah…w…well…" Jane stuttered.
"Great comeback…" Carly leaned over the table so Jane could hear her better. "Maura didn't deserve that and you know it."
"Whatever…she's got a standing date with what's-his-face. She should go to prom with him…" The irritation in Carly's eyes had Jane looking away.
"What is wrong with you? Why are you so damn stubborn?" Carly paused, and then a smirk appeared, softening her ire. "Wait…it's a Rizzoli thing…isn't it?"
Jane just shrugged her shoulders, not willing to commit to any kind of answer that might incriminate her. She continued to look down at the half eaten dinner on her plate as she felt Carly's intense gaze boring into her.
"I'm not good enough for her…" Jane's voice was so soft that Carly almost didn't hear it.
"Maybe not…" Carly started to say then paused when Jane's eyes widened in surprise. "But she chooses you…don't minimize that choice by letting people like that Fairfield woman get to you."
"Why…?" Jane finally looked up to meet Carly's eyes.
"Why what? Why not let people like that get to you?" Carly leaned back to study the hurt look on Jane's face.
"Why would Maura choose me? There is so much I can't give her…" Jane started to nervously shift her food around on her plate.
With a steady gaze, Carly contemplated Jane's question. She had been in the exact same place at one point in her relationship with Ryan. The questions of 'whether or not she was good enough' or 'what could I offer her' among other thoughts had buzzed around in her head keeping her awake on too many nights to count. But it always came down to one simple answer.
"Because she loves you, you big dumb ass…" Carly tried to smile. "And she has good taste."
Again Jane just shrugged in answer. She wasn't sure she was ready to accept that answer just yet. "You know how I feel don't you?" The flicker of pain that crossed over Carly's face hadn't gone unnoticed by Jane.
"How could I not know?" Don't you think I worry about what I have to offer Ryan in our relationship? I have no doubt that she'll the district attorney of this fine city one day. How could she not? Her uncle is Shawn Cavanaugh, who is quickly moving up the ranks at the police department." Carly let out a heavy sigh. She only continued when she saw Jane raise an eyebrow in question. "There's going to be a lot thing that Ryan will be required to take part in and I can't help but wonder if our being together will become an obstacle to the things she wants to accomplish in life. I worry that maybe she'll wake up one day and decide that I'm not worth it all…"
"That's crazy…Ryan adores you…" Jane suddenly sat up straighter, her voice filled with conviction.
"Really…?" Carly's jaw tensed as she studied Jane. Although Ryan had eventually knocked some sense into her, Carly still had the same fears that Jane did, the only difference was that Carly was better at hiding them.
"Okay…I get it…" Jane huffed. "I just want her to have everything she wants."
"And she does…she had you." Carly answered quickly.
"Hmm…" Jane mused as she went back to studying the food on her plate. She knew that Carly was right and the she was letting her insecurities come between her and Maura. It was difficult to let go of her fears, but she knew that she needed to let it go if she wanted a future with Maura. "You know you suck…" She smirked.
"Hey…all I did was get you to realize you were being an asshole." Carly held her hands up in defense. "But I must warn you that this type of infraction would have me sleeping on the couch tonight…"
"Yeah, yeah…really?" Jane quickly came to attention when she heard that last statement. "I'm gonna have a lot of groveling to do, aren't I?" She reached for her glass of water with a shaky hand to wet her suddenly dry throat.
"Yep…get used to being on your knees and I don't mean that in a good way." The off-handed comment caused Jane coughing up the water she had just taken a sip of.
"Jesus Carly…really?" Jane wiped at the water that was dripping off of her chin.
With a hardy laugh and a wiggle of her eyebrows, Carly couldn't help but smile at Jane's red face.
"Who's being the asshole now?" Jane used her straw to flick some water in Carly's direction.
"Yeah well we are related, I guess I come by it naturally." Carly's quick comeback had them both laughing.
Standing in front of the sink, Maura looked at herself before sighing heavily. The evening had started out so well. The playful banter between her and Jane had been so easy and when Jane had taken the sushi from Maura's fingers it had all but set her on fire. But then it had all gone wrong so very fast. She stared at her reflection, wary and tired and let out another heavy sigh. Reaching for the faucet handle, she turned on the water and let the warm stream of water wash off any lingering feeling of Jane's mouth. When she heard the door open, she looked up to find deep, green eyes reflected back at her.
"She meant well I think…" Ryan tried to explain. Maura could only nod as she looked down to continue washing her hands. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but the last she would want to do is hurt you."
Pausing mid-scrub, Maura looked up again to see the serious look on Ryan's face. "She has a funny way of showing it." A frustrated huff followed Maura's answer.
"Hmmm…I know exactly what you mean." Ryan stepped next to Maura and leaned against the sink. Even though they were almost the same height, Maura had a slight advantage especially in her heels. Ryan looked up at Maura's uncertain expression. "Have you met Carly?"
The smile that curved at Maura's lips was expected, but she couldn't help it. "Carly doesn't seem at all like Jane." Maura had always thought that Jane and Ryan were more alike in personality, but as she thought about it, she had to concede that she really didn't know Carly that well.
"Let me tell you something Maura…" Ryan crossed her arms in an attempt to make herself comfortable. "That woman out there…the woman I love more than anyone in my life, did everything she could to sabotage our relationship in the beginning." The look of surprise on Maura's face caused Ryan to pause briefly before she continued. "Sometimes I didn't think we were going to make it. She had such a hard time accepting her sexuality at first or maybe she was just too afraid of what it would mean…I don't know. Do you know how we met?" Ryan's sudden change in subject had Maura shaking her head as she watched a play of emotions pass over Ryan's face ranging from wistful sadness to hopefulness. "We took the same dance class in college…"
"Dance?" Maura interrupted, surprise written all over her face.
"We had to have seven credit hours of PE classes…a waste of time if you ask me, but eventually there isn't much to pick from so I guess we both ended up in dance class. Anyway, she was friends with the only guy in the class and they pretty much only danced with each other. When one of the other girls complained that they should be allowed the chance to have him for a partner…well I ended up with Carly as a partner." Ryan shrugged her shoulders. "What no one knew at the time was that I quite expertly maneuvered myself so we would end up partners. I had noticed her from day one…who wouldn't…tall, dark, beautiful…and those eyes…" Ryan had a thoughtful look on her face as she turned to Maura. "It was…as they say…love at first sight for me and at that point I didn't even know if she was gay. She was so shy when we got partnered. I can remember her standing in front of me with her head down, looking nervously at her feet, all of that dark hair curtaining her face…but when she finally looked up and introduced herself to me, I could have sworn I saw my future in the endless blue of her eyes. She had that crooked smile on her face as she took my hand in hers and started to waltz me around the room. I don't even remember if I told her my name at the time, but I was so lost in her electric gaze that the only thing I do remember is the feeling is her skin against mine as she held my hand tightly in hers. When the music stopped, we didn't…I think she felt it too…at least that is what I like to tell myself…" Ryan smiled at the memory. "You know she really messed with my ego early on…one minute she was teasing me in a flirtatious way, the next all but ignoring me…it had my head spinning. I have a feeling you can understand what I went through…"
"Um…well…yes, I can." Maura gave Ryan a small understanding smile.
"But…eventually…with some patience and perseverance…I broke through that wall Carly had built around herself. And then the protective side took over…my knight in shining armor so to speak."
"What do you mean?" Maura shook her hands to dry them.
"What I mean is that there were times that Carly did things she thought were best…things she didn't even discuss with me…" Ryan sighed sadly. "It put a strain on our relationship. She was always trying to protect me from what she perceived as threats, always trying to do what she thought was best for us…without even giving me the chance to decide if I wanted those things." A tear leaked out of the corner of Ryan's eye causing her to wipe at it with the back of her hand. "You see Maura…Carly has a dark past…a past that wasn't ready to let go when she came back from Paris. She still doesn't realize that I know as much as I do, but when you have an uncle in the police department…word gets around, especially when it involves the infamous Irish Mob…" She cleared her throat nervously around the dryness that was making it hard for her to talk now. "Let's just say that we came to a cross roads…and eventually we chose the same path…together. But that is a story for another time…" Ryan paused as she wiped at another tear. "I guess what I'm trying to tell you Maura is that even though I see a lot of Carly in Jane right now…you both have really come a long way in this relationship. It's going to take some patience from you and I predict it might get worse before it gets better, but if you're in this for the long haul…it will be worth it, trust me…it will be worth every minute of it."
Maura was quiet for moment as she contemplated what Ryan had told her. She only knew what Jane had told her about Carly's past, which wasn't much. As the silence continued to surround them, Maura leaned against the sink and dropped her head as a wave of emotion came over her.
"I want it all with her Ryan…the marriage, the house with the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids…all of it, someday…" Maura blew out a breath causing her shoulders to sag slightly. Tilting her head to the side she could see the surprised look on Ryan's face at her admission. "That surprises you?"
"I guess it shouldn't…but you're both so young…are you sure you're ready for that kind of commitment." The look on Maura's face had Ryan giving her a sad face.
"Sometimes I think so…but then something like this happens and I realize Jane isn't. I can't keep defending my upbringing…I am not my families bank account. Her insecurities about our different economic backgrounds worry's me Ryan. What if she can't let it go…what if it continues to drive her away from me?"
"I don't know Maura..." Ryan reached out to wrap her arms around Maura's shoulders that were now shaking from the quiet sobs she was trying to hide. "All I can suggest is that you give her the chance…she loves you…"
"I know she does…and I'll always do my best to help her keep her demons at bay. I just hope I have the strength to fight when she doesn't." Maura allowed Ryan to hold her. It wasn't in her nature to allow emotions to rule her thoughts, but there was something about Ryan that Maura trusted implacably. It was as if they had known each other in another life, as if they had comforted each other on countless occasions in the past. "Thanks for coming after me…I'll be okay."
"Are you sure?" Ryan pulled back so she could look into Maura's slightly red rimmed eyes. "Are you going to make her sleep on the couch?"
Maura couldn't help but smile at Ryan's comment. "For tonight at least…but next week is her birthday and I have something very special planned, so I can't stay mad at her for long."
"Are you being cheeky?" Ryan smiled back.
"I suppose I am…and anyway, I'm not really mad…just hurt I guess." Maura sighed when Ryan let her go. She had never really realized how much comfort another human being could be until Jane and her family had come into her life. "We should probably get back out there before they send a search party for us, don't you think."
"Yep…" Ryan nodded as she put her hands on Maura's shoulders to turn her around and gently push her out the door. "Are you going to make her squirm a little before you let her off of the hook?"
"I don't know Ryan…I'm just really tired all of a sudden. I think maybe I'll just have her take me home now…" Maura just wanted to slip under the covers and go to sleep at the moment. She stopped when she saw their server and waved Ryan on. "I'll be right there…" It was her intention to take care of the bill so they could leave right away.
Ryan nodded her understanding as she continued on. When she approached their table she was met by a very morose Jane and a somewhat smug looking Carly. She smiled at the question in Carly's eyes as she sat next to her.
All three of them sat in silence as Jane's eyes continuously searched for Maura. Fear that Maura had walked out on her caused a lump to form in her throat, but a reassuring nod from Ryan calmed her nerves. She jumped up when she say Maura walking towards them, an apology on the tip of her tongue but when she saw how tired Maura looked it was replaced by a sudden anxious feeling.
"I think I'd like for you to take me home now Jane." Maura didn't sit down.
"Um…okay…just let me get the bill…" Jane stammered.
"I've already taken care of it…" Maura waved Jane's words away.
"Alright…" Jane seemed to grow more flustered by the second. She wasn't sure what to think about the somewhat cold reception she was receiving from Maura. "Guys…sorry to leave you…but I guess we'll see you later."
"No problem Jane…" Carly had a worried look on her face. She watched as Jane grabbed her jacket off of the back of her chair and step away from the table without looking back.
Maura stood motionless for a second, her legs unwilling to carry her away from the comfort she had received from Ryan. "Thank you…" She gave Ryan a sad smile before turning to Carly. "And don't worry…I won't be too hard on her…" Carly raised an eyebrow in question at Maura's comment before giving a small nod. "Good night ladies…" Maura turned to follow Jane, almost running into her. The anxious look on Jane's face almost broke Maura's heart, but she knew she needed some time alone to think about things. It was going to be difficult to convince Jane she wasn't mad at her, especially when she asked for some time alone.
"Are they going to be alright?" Carly's tentative voice showed her concern.
"I think so…but I'm afraid they have a long, hard road ahead of them before they find some peace." Ryan watched the two young women leave. "Jane's a lot like you, ya know…"
Looking away and nodding her head, Carly couldn't help but frown at the truth of Ryan's statement. She hadn't expected to feel the warmth of Ryan's fingers touching her chin to turn her head so they were now facing each other.
"I'm not just talking about the negative here Carly…yes she's stubborn and yes she lets her anger rule her head sometimes, but she's strong and caring…and Maura knows she's worth the fight…" Ryan found herself being drawn into the depths of blue that looked sad and uncertain.
"I just hope Jane knows…" Carly sighed as she leaned her head against Ryan's shoulder.
"Let's finish our dinner…I think we have some unfinished business to attend to when we get home." Ryan caught Carly by surprise with a kiss on the lips. "And no I don't give a damn what people think…I love you…"
"Are you still mad at me Maur?" Jane's voice was shaking with uncertainty. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean what I said…"
"I know Jane…" Maura turned to look out the window at the street lights streaming past them as they headed towards her house. It surprised her that her anger had dissipated as quickly as it had, but she could still feel the sting of heartache.
As Maura continued to look out the window, the silence that descended upon them became awkward. Jane shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat as she tried to concentrate on driving but she couldn't help but sneak peeks at Maura. She couldn't see Maura's face in the darkness of the front seat, but every once in a while she could see Maura's profile as they passed a street light allowing it to illuminate the inside of the car. Knots had started to form in the pit of Jane's stomach as the silence continued to permeate around them.
"Please talk to me Maur…" Jane was pleading now.
Again silence was Jane's answer as tears started to sting behind her eyes. Maura could sense Jane's despair and knew she needed to talk to her, but she wanted her full attention when she did.
"Pull over Jane…I need to look you in the eyes when I talk to you…" Maura pointed to a safe spot off the side of the road for Jane to stop at.
The sudden wave of nausea that hit Jane at Maura's words had her scrambling to pull over as fast as she could in case she needed to be sick. Throwing the car into park, she pushed the button to lower the window allowing the cool night air to fill her lungs in an attempt to drive away the feeling of sickness that was threatening to overwhelm her.
If the way that Jane had thrown the car into park hadn't indicated anything was wrong, the fact that Jane practically threw herself out of the window she had quickly opened certainly indicated to Maura that Jane was terrified of what she was going to say.
"Hey…look at me…" Maura's voice was soft and soothing as she watched Jane lean her head out the window to get some fresh air. When Jane didn't respond right away, Maura thought maybe she wasn't going to. "Please Jane…look at me."
"'Kay…" Jane mumbled as she pulled herself back into the car to look at Maura.
Maura was shocked by the fear she saw shadowed in Jane's sad expression. Even though the car was dark, the glow from a far off street light blanketed the dash giving her just enough illumination to see the look on Jane's face.
"Oh, my sweet, sweet Jane…" Reaching over, Maura touched Jane's cheek with the back of her fingers.
Jane reflexively closed her eyes at the warm contact. "Are you gonna break up with me Maura?" Jane's voice shook with the fear that was on the verge of consuming her.
"Oh my God…no Jane…I'm so sorry you thought that." The realization that Jane thought she was going to leave her caused tears to fill Maura's eyes. "Yes I was mad at first, but then I was just hurt…" The tears started to fall freely down Maura's cheeks.
"I hate that I am the cause of this." Jane used her thumb to wipe away the tears on Maura's cheeks. "I don't know why I said it…it just…sometimes I feel like you'd be better off without me…" Jane closed her eyes against the tears that were starting to fall from her eyes.
"I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but if you don't trust me when I tell you that you are the one I want…what do we have?" Maura asked as she turned towards Jane's touch.
"I'm sorry Maura…" It was all Jane could say as tears started to fall. "I just want to be enough for you…"
"I've made my choice Jane. I know that we come from different backgrounds…different worlds essentially, but you can't let some pretentious…" Maura paused as she tried to find the right word.
"Bitch…?" Jane interpreted.
"Yes…some pretentious bitch, change everything between us. It won't be the first or the last time we run across someone like that. I have to know you're with me on this Jane…." Maura sighed as a sudden feeling of relief filled her.
"All I can say is that I'm sorry…" Jane looked down, letting out a shuttering breath. "But you have no idea how jealous I felt when I heard that prick thought he was going to take my girlfriend to the prom…" Jane looked back up to capture Maura's hazel-green eyes in her dark brown.
"I think I have an idea…" Maura mused back as she felt herself slipping into the depths of brown.
"I just don't want you to give up anything because of me…" Jane tried to reason.
"You have no idea what I would be giving up if I let you think that way." Maura tried to reason back.
"I think I have an idea." Jane answered with a crooked smile. It was the same crooked smile that melted Maura's heart.
"Look…I love that you want to protect me…really I do, but sometimes I want to be the knight in shining armor. Let me rescue you Jane, trust me enough to know that I will always catch you if you fall…please have faith in me… have faith in us." Maura implored with her eyes.
Jane conceded with a nod as she felt those hazel-green eyes reach into her soul. Her heart knew that Maura was the one and only person for her, but sometimes her head got in the way.
"Would it be enough if I promise to try?" Jane inquired quietly, not sure Maura would accept her offer.
The question hung heavily in the air as Maura pondered her answer. She already knew what she wanted to say, but she needed to make sure she made it clear to Jane how she felt.
"It will be enough today…but you need to put your faith in your heart and quite listening to this…" Maura gently tapped Jane's head.
"And this coming from someone who always listens to this…" Jane responding by giving Maura's temple a light tap in return.
"Never when it comes to you Jane…I know what I want." Maura sighed heavily. Suddenly she was feeling fatigue wash over her in waves, her energy spent on the emotional turmoil she had experienced earlier. "Can we put this behind us tonight?" Maura implored.
"You mean everything to me Maura…I'm sorry I made you doubt it." Jane grabbed Maura's hand and lightly kissed the back of it. "Do you forgive me?"
"There's nothing to forgive Jane…but next time have some faith…" Maura sighed at the contact of Jane's lips on her skin. The soft, silky feeling of Jane's lips on her skin almost broke her resolve, but she decided she needed to stick to her plan and send Jane home. "But I think we need some time…alone time…"
"Alone as in separate or alone as in together…?" Jane asked with a hint of hopefulness in her voice.
"Alone as in separate…" Maura could hear a disappointed exhale of air escape from Jane. "At least until your birthday, I have something very special planned and I think the anticipation will make our time together…more intense, if you know what I mean." Maura tried to explain.
"Really…?" Jane perked up a little when she heard Maura's reason. "Special huh…?"
"Very…" Maura leaned over to kiss Jane on the mouth but pulled back quickly before things could heat up causing her to change her mind. "But if you don't mind…I'd appreciate it if you took me home…I'm suddenly very tired."
Cupping Maura's cheek in her hand, Jane ran her thumb along Maura's bottom lip before leaning in to place a gentle kiss at the corner of Maura's mouth. "I'll take you home as long as you promise me that you're not mad at me…" She said, still cupping Maura's cheek.
"I promise…I'm not mad Jane." The warmth of Jane's hand on her face made Maura smile as she looked into Jane's eyes.
"You know…" Jane hesitated as she studied Maura's tired expression. "I ache when we aren't together…right here…" She reached up to place her hand against her chest where here heart lay.
"I do too Jane." Maura expression turned sad as she realized the truth in the words. Lifting her fingers to her lips, she placed a kiss against her fingertips before pressing them to Jane's lips. "I'll miss you tonight…and every night we aren't together, but it won't make me love you any less."
Another crooked smile played across Jane's lips as she acknowledged what Maura said. "All I can say is that my birthday better get here soon…" With a wink in Maura's direction, Jane turned on the ignition and put the car into drive.
"It will be worth the wait Jane…I promise." Maura smiled as she watched Jane start the car. Maybe it was the wink or the crooked grin, but Maura's mood was suddenly feeling much lighter. Together, she and Jane had come to a crossroads and together they had chosen their path. Maura just hoped that next time would be easier but deep down inside she knew life would continue to test them and their love for each other. Doing something that was completely out of character for her, Maura decided to just put her faith in her love for another person and hope for the best.