A/N: Yes, it's been a bit. Luckily the Young!CB fic that I wrote a few days ago jump-started my inspiration and you have the following. I'm not sure that I'm completely happy with it, but it's getting the point across I think. ;) Thank you to EVERYONE that leaves a review. I apologize that I don't reply to every one, but if I see someone with a question I do try to answer it. Anyway, please, enjoy!

SPECIAL THANKS to Dawn! You're the best last minute beta a girl could have! -kiss-

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, I just want to prove they can stand by each other through anything.

Chapter 31

"These Walls Are Killing Me"

There was a party going on around her, but Blair didn't hear it. She had just stormed away from Chuck, the idiot had been lounging around and flaunting the key that could get them all expelled. Her heart was pounding and she couldn't remember a word she said to him, only that it wasn't important.

Rushing up the stairs, she burst through her bedroom door and flopped into the chair at her vanity. Removing the ribbon from the key, she tossed the fabric and then threw the key into a drawer.

Nate walked in just after she closed it.

The moment that he kissed her the other night was dim in her memory, but the excited glow to his eyes showed that it meant more to him.

Crap.

"Blair."

"Nate," she turned the chair toward him, "what are you doing here?"

He walked two steps toward her. "I, uh, wanted to talk to you. I brought you this," he smiled, "it's a love letter."

Staring at the thick paper of the envelope in his hands, she scratched the word crap; this was so much worse than that.

Blair stood up quickly. "Hostess can't hide in her room," she explained. "It's unladylike."

Then she ran back downstairs as fast as she could.

And right into Chuck.

His hand closed around her upper arm, pulling her to a stop beside him.

"Hey, let go of me, Bass!" Blair shook his hand from it's loose grip. His face was inches from hers, staring straight into her eyes...

He eyes were flashing with rage.

"Drop your Archibald habit, first," he snapped.

Sighing, she whispered, "You know I already have."

This was the most ridiculous circle to be running around in. She hadn't been interested in anyone other than Chuck in so long... if anything, Chuck was the habit it would be healthiest to break.

Not that she would ever even consider that an option. Not when she loved him so.

It only made the dangerous look in his eyes worse; there so much pain and indignation reflected there that it drove little daggers into her heart.

"Really?" His tone of voice was dripping with sarcasm, "A kiss does sort of send the wrong signal. Let's not waste time denying."

Blair covered her face and groaned in frustration then threw her hands down toward the floor. "I'm so tired of this! Go ahead and tell him."

"Really? You want me to tell him how you slept with me and then faked your virginity for him?" The words were coarse coming from his mouth, the fact that he still didn't believe in her enough to know she would never do that to him cut deeply. He stood there, accusing her of doing something that she'd denied. It would do no good to try to convince him now. If he would only tell that to Nate, it would be disputed by the only source it seems he would believe.

Leaning closer to him, she touched the side of his face gently. "I want you to tell him the truth," Blair clarified, "Just like I did they day we decided to tell him together."

He seemed to be caught in her gaze for a moment and her heart swelled in her chest. Then he shook his head and backed away from her. Looking toward the elevator, he said, "Good eye, Docugirl, I'll take the tape now."

Standing there in the archway was Humphrey's best friend Vanessa... with a camera. She'd obviously just filmed the exchange between Chuck and Blair. A quick second of thinking back, and their behavior was obviously not the way two friends acted. They had behaved as two people who were much more intimate than they were supposed to have been. That tape would ruin any chance there currently was to break the news to Nate gently, any chance for Chuck to save their friendship.

Blair couldn't let that tape be leaked to Gossip Girl.

Panic welled up inside of Blair. "This is my house; that tape belongs to me," she demanded.

Little Miss Voyeur sneered and started to walk toward the elevator. "Actually, this is my footage and thanks to both of you I think I've got a new angle on my subject."

Dan walked into the room and said, "Vanessa, let's get outta here."

Suddenly Chuck came from behind Blair and grabbed Vanessa's arm. "You think I'm gonna let you walk out with that tape you're crazy!"

"Let go of me!" Vanessa tugged her arm away from Chuck as Dan put himself between the two of them.

"Hey!" Dan yelled at Chuck. "Last time I checked, I still owe you a black eye. So unless this is you coming to claim it, stay away from her."

How touching, Blair thought, Dan standing up for his supposed best friend... the two were in such denial she could vomit.

She'd been in denial.

When the two offending Brooklynites made their way out of the apartment, Blair was left standing next to Chuck.

"You know," Chuck began, "For someone who claims not to care if Nate finds out, you were sure quick to demand she hand over that tape."

Suddenly there were tears in her eyes. When she turned at looked at the guarded look on his face, one fell over the rim and traced a trail down her cheek. "For some reason, I'm still trying to protect you. If someone besides you tells Nate, you'll lose him; I don't want that."

Chuck's face was as hard as stone, a direct contrast to how her words had wished he would be. "I don't see why not."

"When are you going to realize I'm the same person I was before Cotillion?" Her voice was trembling with unshed tears and he still seemed unaffected.

She turned toward the stairs and ran into Serena.

"What's wrong, B?" The blonde's eyes were fixed on a point over Blair's shoulder; obviously Serena was shooting that dirty look at Chuck.

"I'm not feeling well." Another tear slipped past her defenses. "Would you make sure everyone leaves?"

Serena embraced her. "Sure."

About halfway up the staircase, the tears began to fall freely, the sobs followed once her door was closed tightly behind her.

Time meant nothing as she lay there on her bed, crying with her hand cupped protectively over her stomach. Soon the door opened and Serena was sitting beside her.

"You gonna tell me what's got you so upset?"

The hand rubbing her back was soothing, but it was still difficult to find the words to explain what had triggered the pain currently crushing her.

"B?"

Blair took a deep breath and said the first thing that came to her mind: "He's just so mean."

Serena had the good sense not to laugh at how ridiculous Blair sounded, she just sat quietly and waited for Blair to continue.

"I love him so much and all he does is hurt me. Badly. Like he thinks it wouldn't effect me." Blair sighed heavily, "Why can he see?"

"I don't know, Blair."

Chuck didn't really know why he was back here. Serena had made it quite clear that his presence was no longer required, but the memory of tears in Blair's eyes had drawn him back to this place. So he'd given in and followed his heart back.

Like following his heart had ever brought him anything but pain.

He found the Waldorf foyer completely empty of guests, so Serena must have succeeded in kicking everyone out as Blair requested. There was no sound of people shuffling around downstairs, not even those of Blair's maid.

Taking a deep breath, he bravely began to climb the stairs toward her room, the room where they'd spent so much time immersed in each other, the room where she slept, where she hopefully had once dreamed of him...

Oh, this was a mistake already.

Once he'd reached the landing, he could see the door was open slightly and it was then that he heard the voices coming from inside. Blair's voice, rough with tears, speaking to Serena.

"Every time I see him, I hope he'll finally say that he believes me and every time he throws the words back in my face, twisted around so they don't mean anything close to how I'd intended. It's like he makes it his mission to cause me as much pain as possible. When did he turn into this unfeeling monster?"

Ouch. The words were spoken with an agonized edge to them and for once he understood how Serena could say that Blair was miserable. She sure sounded like she meant what she said.

Her voice was getting quieter.

"I know I hurt him badly, but I've apologized every way I could. I've begged him to believe me. I've made myself totally vulnerable. All he does with my openness is take the opportunity to drive the knife in further. What happened to the boy who..."

He heard her breath in raggedly, the sound cutting his heart.

"There was a time I would have sworn he loved me, S... I want my Chuck back."

Chuck's throat was tight with the pain in her words. It was like she'd shoved them down his throat and now he couldn't breathe.

He began to back away from her door and then he stumbled down the staircase before his knees weakened, bringing him to sit on a step close to the bottom. He put his face in his hands and concentrated on breathing past the bitter words she'd spoken, not knowing that he could hear them.

Well, she couldn't have possibly been lying just now; she'd had no idea he was listening and she would have had no reason to be dishonest to her best friend. What else could she have been telling the truth about? Could they really have gone back to their secret life together as nothing had happened?

Had she not slept with his best friend, like she'd said? But Nate had confirmed it the other day, hadn't he?

It was like his heart was thawing in his chest and suddenly he could see her clearly. The heartbreak in her face every time she saw him was now clear, the earnest truth to her words no longer tinged with his anger.

Chuck Bass had completely screwed up.

"I don't wanna cry over him anymore," Blair wailed. "Why can't I stop crying?" She buried her face into the pillow as deeply as she could, trying to stop her tears. Between Chuck and the possibility that there were hormones causing all this crying she was doing, this whole situation would be the death of her.

"I'm sorry, B, but suffocating yourself with your pillow is not the answer." Serena's hand reached out and pulled Blair into a sitting position. "Are you sure this is all about Chuck?" Blair froze. "The fact that he's evil is not news."

This whole situation was being exacerbated by her possible condition. Serena had called her out on there being more... should she tell her? Could she trust her friend to keep the information to herself? How good would it feel to have someone else to help worry about this? Someone on the same continent? A person that she shares everything with anyway?

Sniffling, Blair wiped the tears off of her face and met her best friend's eyes. There wasn't going to be any judgment from Serena; if anyone could be trusted with this, it should be her. She would tell her the abbreviated version. That way, if Blair decided telling her friend was a mistake, then a few words would settle it.

Blair placed one hand in her friend's, the other one around her stomach. "There is something else, S... I'm late."

The blonde took her other hand from where it rested across Blair's middle and stared worriedly into her friend's face. "How late?"

"Late enough." The tears came back to her eyes. "I'm so scared!"

"Oh, sweetie!" Serena enveloped her in a hug and held her there. "It's okay! It could be a false alarm! We'll get you a test-"

"No!" Blair pulled away. "I... I'm not ready for that."

Her friend studied her face. "The sooner you know, B..."

"That won't be an issue." Blair took a deep breath. "I could never..." She shook her head in horror.

Serena's eyes were glossy, her expression sympathetic. "What will you do, B?"

Laying back down, Blair clutched a pillow to her chest. "I don't know. I just know that no one else can know until I do."

"Okay," Serena said, laying down next to her friend and wrapping her arms around her. "No one will know."

There was no door closing to warn Chuck he was about to have company. Serena had sat down on the stair next to him before he realized he was no longer alone.

His face was still buried in his hands.

"How much did you hear?" The question from Serena was accusatory, as if he'd meant to listen in on the conversation rather than been frozen to the place he stood by Blair's overheard words.

He didn't look at her; his imagination could fill in the anger her eyes would hold. Lifting his head and staring off at nothing in particular he answered, "Enough to know I'm an unfeeling monster. That was enough for me; that and finding out she knew what I felt for her and still went back to my best friend." He put his face back into his hands. "I've been sitting here ever since."

"You're such an idiot, Chuck."

Chuck rolled his eyes under his hands. "Tell me about it."

She grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to look in her eyes. He hoped his eyes weren't as red-rimmed as they felt; it wouldn't do for her to think he'd been crying. Even if he'd been incredibly close to doing so. She seemed to be studying his face anyway, looking for something.

"When are you going to see that she doesn't want him, Chuck?" Serena sighed, "She wants you!"

Standing up to make his escape before he said too much, he gritted his teeth. "Don't tell her I was here."

As he was walking down the few stairs that remained, she stated earnestly, "She needs you, Chuck."

He paused for a moment, sighed, and replied, "And I don't want to hurt her anymore."

Serena made no further attempt to stop him and he wouldn't have stopped if she'd tried; he'd said all he needed to say on the matter.

Now he needed to figure out what to do about it.

A/N: Working our way through School Lies... I think we all know that next episode is really important, but we've got to lay the groundwork, you know. ;) Thanks for taking the ride with me!